I'm reaching out for help here, because I've been fumbling too long on my own. Hopefully some outside views can help get me out of this repeating cycle. Every time I'm on a good routine or even just start trying to improve myself, my mind is flooded with doubts and negative emotions non stop. Not experiencing a single thing (ever) from any working, ritual, meditations, mantras, runes, etc for months just feeds the negative thoughts and emotions further. I don't know if it's an enemy attack or just my own internal weakness or both. Every cycle of trying to progress and failing just makes trying again that much harder and depressing. I really wish what didn't kill you made you stronger, because what hasn't killed me in my life has just left me with a broken spirit, ego, and numb to my own emotions and life.
I'll try to keep this nonsense concise.
1. The concept of reincarnation itself seems fucked up. What are the odds of anyone fixing problems from a past life when they can't even remember it? Aren't the vast majority of humans just screwed to reincarnate forever, and never advance?
2. Why is everyone here seemingly so sure that things are gonna get rougher for a period but we're gonna come out on top and the jews are gonna be defeated permanently? What real guarantee is there that we aren't going to be annihilated, when so many entire civilizations already have? I've heard something said to the effect of "the war has already been won". How do we fight a war we've already won?
3. How is the world not evil with the amount of evil in the world? If 30% of your body was ill, would you claim to not be ill?
4. In the grand scheme of things I'm sure 2000 years is a real short time, but in that short 2000 years hundreds of millions of gentiles have died because of the jews machinations. How have they not been completely eradicated already? Have all nations and spiritual advanced people been that ignorant of the jews, that forgiving, that merciful? I know they've been expelled over 140 times and been massacred a few times but here we are still working against them today.
5. I'm naturally very honest, emotional, and sensitive, and empathic but this isn't a world I can be those things in (I've become the opposite to a large degree). I can't be true to my own nature when I can't speak honestly about any important topic whatsoever. How are you supposed to have family, friends, loved ones that you're deeply connected with when you can't be honest? I don't even understand having a connection with someone who you can't be honest with. It's annoying as fuck listening to someone talk bullshit about race, religion, politics, history, the holocaust, Hitler, and having to play along so I don't get branded a holocaust denier, racist or something.
6. What's more depressing is that I'm blessed, fortunate and lucky, even more than I feel like I deserve sometimes, I just had another blessing drop on me recently, yet here I am trapped in the same cycle year after year after year I keep defeating myself.
7. In the back of my mind I've almost given up on ever achieving anything spiritual with the number of years of failures I have stacked on top of each other. Every time I try again I feel like I'm just going through the motions. The advice just keep going really isn't helping me. If I had to walk dozens of miles, just keep going would be great advice that would help me. Applied to a spiritual routine I manage to defeat myself every time and fail. I'm tired, I'm always tired. I'm tired of mustering up the energy to engage in practices that are supposed to give me more energy just to not get any energy, still be tired and fall prey to the cycle yet again.
These doubts and feelings you experience, are the inner weakness within yourself beating you down, you yourself are the worst enemy to your own progress. To advance spiritually, is to defeat the weakness of the inner self, and to build strength where it is lacking, it is to face the challenge and not lay down after failure, even if you must get up ten thousand times or more.
Life is the eternal struggle against the obstacles both internal and external, to give up is to die, to live is to struggle and to succeed is to conquer the human struggles. Some people are not meant for this, they will fail here and their souls will pass, that is the way of life and the laws of the universe. Same as how some birds are too weak to break out of their own eggs when they are born into the world, and thus they die before they ever get to see the light. Or some butterflies fail to break their cocoons before they spread their wings, and they will pass before they complete their metamorphosis from a caterpillar to a butterfly.
The human has their own struggles, which extend through their life and their lifetimes. For each struggle won, there are many more to defeat, but that is also simply the course of life. If one looks at the struggles as such, they will be overwhelmed by everything and give up easily. If one understands that this is simply life, it becomes easier to live, as the struggles are simply chapters of your existence which you live through and live past.
Now to answer your questions.
1. Reincarnation is a very good thing, as even with past life amnesia, the past experiences are all collected within the subconscious mind and within the soul. The being who has been great before and who has beaten a lot of struggles, will keep that greatness and the strength gained from their victories over themselves and over life, even if the individual experiences and the knowledge has been forgotten when they reincarnate. The great person remains great, because what is gained is the progression of ones Soul and by extension, your existence. You can face greater challenges, and continue to grow as a being.
With spiritual practice, the past can be remembered, and in a world of high wisdom and high knowledge, past life amnesia is not a serious issue. It is for the world today, because the wisdom of the people is exceptionally low and the world is in a poor state. Thus indeed, many people are aimlessly existing, reincarnating while gaining nothing, and they will simply dissipate from existence sooner rather than later, as is the natural law of the universe.
One carries problems with them from one life to the next, all of this is seen in the natal chart, the next life will be under specific influences, which can be seen in the planets, that show where the problems lie. Even without knowledge, one will face these problems, and one will be shown these problems that are present, come to face them and be given the chance to overcome them. In that sense, life and reincarnation are perfectly fair, no matter what state you are in, no matter the times, you always get equal opportunity to face the problems within you and overcome them to grow in existence.
The issue is that life becomes harder and harder the more one ignores problems. So a soul with many unsolved problems will eventually face an ultimatum in their existence, where their life is utter crap, and they will either face it now and succeed, or they will dissipate for good after they have exhausted themselves and their will to live. This too is a natural and fair state, and souls actually have many chances and opportunities, even without spiritual knowledge, to at least exist and live, and thus generate opportunities for themselves to access real knowledge and Truth in order to advance out of this state.
Without reincarnation, there is 0 progress. All souls will die after a single lifetime. How much can be done in one lifetime? How much can one achieve and progress? The answer is next to nothing. To progress towards divinity, thousands of years are needed for many. Since all mortal life is mortal and will thus die, reincarnation is necessary for anyone to progress out of this state and reach Divinity. One can of course give up half way, people do this in life, and this reflects on them in death. Sure, if that is what one wants, they can do so. Nobody forces you to exist, however, as an existing being, one has to exist for themselves.
What is a few thousand years to attain an eternity? It is normal to exist like that, there is nothing unpleasant or negative about this. Even when eternity is attained, if for any reason you do not want it, you can check out at any time. Of course, anyone at such a state would never even imagine such a thought, as your whole being changes along the way and transforms where such things do not exist within you anymore.
2. This is because it is very clear the Gods do not allow the destruction of human civilization at the hands of some nonsense like jews, or enemy ET's. We can see clearly that the Gods intervene always to prevent total collapse of humanity, and that humanity has existed here for a very long time, having gone through multiple stages of advancement and downfall, yet we still remain here after more than 70.000 years, and so, Satan willing, we will remain here 70.000 years from now as well.
However, that does not mean the Gods feed us with the golden spoon and make our lives all comfortable and the like. No. We must face our problems and deal with our problems, prove our existence can maintain itself without being tethered to the Gods to barely hang on to our existence. Therefore, things like the jews and the decay of the present are issues that humans have perpetuated and allowed to perpetuate, and thus they are issues that must be solved by humans as well.
The Gods help people solve this, they guide people to solve this, and they want for us to succeed, thus they are always there to assist humanity to move forward despite of issues we may be facing. Without Them, civilization here would have been long gone. Therefore, it can also be seen that civilization will remain because of Them.
Times will get rough, because humanity has made countless retarded decisions and done countless errors that led us to where we are today, but despite the errors and mistakes, humanity has progressed as well, and progress is also steady. Things are not all negative. On the long term perspective, what we live in now, and what we live through in the past 2000 years is just a small chapter in history, however it has not destroyed civilization, and even if it does, it would set us back 4000 years, and we will be back where we are today after two or maybe 3 zodiac sign cycles. Each sign lasts for roughly 2000 years, a full major cycle lasts for 24.000 years. During a single sign, major changes that completely shift the course of history can happen.
Throughout the presence of the Gods on Earth, we have went through 3 major cycles already. Many things that are completely forgotten in history, nowhere written, have happened. The true course of history is completely unknown. Yet, we are still here, civilization still exists, our races still exist. Things only look as dire as they do, because we can only see so little of what is in front of us and what is behind us.
The Gods see and know everything. They have seen the course of our history, and overseen everything. We are part of a single chapter of human history, and things certainly could have gotten really bad, but they didn't, because the Gods intervene with the unseen hand as they always have.
3. The world certainly is evil. However, as it is evil, it is also good. To focus on the evil, doesn't lead anywhere. We instead focus on the good and decent, and to uplift out of the negative qualities, so the world can as a whole rise to a higher state of "good ness", away from evil.
The fact that the world is evil, is not necessarily a problem per se. It is merely the consequence of the actions of humanity as a whole, and the consequence of the human consciousness deserting higher states of being for the ignorance that plagues us all in varying degrees from utter ignorance to beginning enlightenment.
Yet, where there is much evil, we have much good as well. What matters is not the evil, but how we rise out of it. Just as it doesn't matter how much illness the body has, but instead how we heal the illness. With the right knowledge and effort, any illness in any amount can he healed, same with the right knowledge and effort the world can be uplifted from lower states to higher states as a whole.
4. Spiritually advanced people are only a small part of each generation of people. In the age of Pisces, it was very difficult for any advanced person to rise to prominence, and the entropic forces took hold of that era, due to human errors by lesser humans, and also because of lack of knowledge as a whole available to civilizations from before and during that era.
Even for an advanced person, it is difficult to act if one does not know the danger. For the longest time, the danger of the jew was very much unknown, and the people of the time were not people who would exterminate entire groups of people. Certainly the jews have been ruined time and time again, but people did not exterminate them, because our people are not a genocidal people, and there are many troublesome groups that have existed for ages, thus they were not treated much differently from any other random groups of problematic people.
In hindsight, indeed this was a mistake, and we pay for it today and for the past years. They were a small problem that was left unatended for very long, and has now become a large problem. More than anything however, the largest fault is not on the lack of action by the advanced people, which is debatable there was a lack of such, but more on the stupidity of the andrapoda to fall so in love with the retarded things the jews presented to them, and willingly jump onto the road of decay.
Our own people are at fault for these things, to end up where we are now, however, due to the state of the people and lack of knowledge and even lack of communication between groups of people, due to distances and lacking technology that made this difficult, it was difficult to really stop this. From there, a snowball effect happened, slowly rolling over and curbing human advancement for this period, while the jews, unbeknowst to all people, went ahead and greatly profited from this to end up in the positions they are now.
Now, in the age of information, finally we are at a state where communication and knowledge is accesible to all, and thus this state of affairs is easy to unravel, and can finally be addressed, so the state can be solved now thanks to the progress of civilization, which happened despite of all the odds against it.
5. I am too very empathic, sensitive to many things, I would even say emotional, perceptive, certainly not able to express my true self openly in the world today. Yet here I am. still am all those things, and I am here now to employ this to its full degree. You can make friends, and have great friends, whom you can be honest with, but you must first be honest with yourself, and develop to a point where those likeminded people are to be your friends.
Yes, I cannot be honest with my family about all my thoughts and feelings, yet I can still care for them, and be there for them on their level, help them with their needs and respect them as developing people. Sprinkle a little bit of truth here and there to slowly shift their opinions on things over the years, and make them more open to the inner thoughts and Truth I cannot show them, in the subtle ways that doesn't cause a rift between me and them.
Certainly I can be honest on many topics however, if someone speak utter bullshit, but such people should not be your friends, and you should not care for them. People will speak crap, why do you care about those that don't matter? They are worthless people. If you get triggered by everything, you really cannot live, especially as a person like you describe yourself.
You must learn to control your emotions and expressions. Silence is Golden. Don't speak when you don't have to, and make it matter when you speak. Realize it is also okay for people to live on their levels, as you live on yours. The world is large enough to accomodate both ourselves, and the andrapoda, as it has always been.
We have our circle here, where we can express ourselves openly, and where friendships with likeminded people can be made, but they won't be made by being a negative minded individual that lets the world kick him down. The JoS exists to uplift yourself, and by extension the world around you, such defeatism is not for anyone that joins here. It is a state that can be moved from.
Idiots will be idiots. They can live like idiots. You don't need to care about all the idiots and the stupid shit they say. Instead, your empathy and emotion must be reserved for those of value, even if they are not as open as you are, but who still are decent and existing in a better state than the idiots. There are a lot of people worth caring for in this world, even if they are on lower states of consciousness compared to what we know here. Despite of differences, my relationship with my family is very good, and they are people doing their best to also exist and follow this path of life, facing their own challenges as I face mine.
This too is a challenge of life, one which you must face, and overcome.
6. You are blessed, this is something to be glad about. Why put yourself down and deny the gifts you are given, and deny the growth that comes from the victory over the inner weakness and issues? This defeatism, is a state that you allow to self perpetuate. Nothing changes if all you can manage is to lament, holding your blessings but not doing anything with them.
I cannot help you much with that, you must get up yourself, stand on your own feet, or drag them if you must, to seek progress and a better state of existence, or a better state in life. Think to yourself where you are at now, and where you would like to be, create a realistic set of goals, and write to yourself what you think you need to do to accomplish this. Then you must do it and accomplish these, this is something you must do, and only you can do.
To lament, is to stagnate. Nothing will change, no matter how much you sulk by yourself. This is a force of entropy within the self that must be silenced, so you can get up and work on making changes in your life that fullfill you.
7. This is in the mindset again. You are tired when you say you are tired. You are tired when you believe in it. You go through the motions, when that is all you do.
Be honest with yourself. How long have you managed to hold on to a routine? Was it a year? Was it longer? How did you meditate when it was the last time, compared to the first time? How engaged were you? How in tune with your soul were you? What do you truly seek, or what is it you try to accomplish when you did meditate?
Did you do it to feel your soul, feel your Vrill and get in touch with that aspect of your being? Or did you do it because on the paper it is written you must do x repetitions of aura cleaning, or chakra vibrations, and you just did the number because it is written to do it? The approach is what matters here, as well as the aim.
You say you defeat yourself, but really the word you are looking for is that you have been beaten by your inner weakness, because you are going about things the wrong way, making things very difficult for yourself.
You have to allow yourself to progress, and to desire progress, to allow yourself advancement and improvement in life, both internally and externally. What is really happening here is that you are closing the door that is open for you and welcoming you, because you don't allow yourself to accept the blessings and the spiritual gifts that you can experience and learn to understand.
The door is wide open, what you have to do is walk through the door and allow yourself to be at home in the world that opens up for you.
Lastly, time is needed for many. This is not a negative thing. Even a decade is nothing. Even a lifetime is nothing. Life must be lived, and enjoyed, and if it isn't enjoyably, then make the changes happen to make life enjoyable, or at least exist it in a way that you can be proud of.
A man lost both his arms, yet he still continues to exist. Not everyone who experiences that lives a successful life, or a great life, but just the fact they find strength to exist and find more in life despite such a set back is a victory over the self, an accomplishment worth celebrating. That man will live again, and he won't have this accident in his next life, he will live and accomplish far more, be able to achieve what he longed for in the past but couldn't, because he overcame the inner weakness and pushed onward to live.
What matters is how you grow as a soul, not only in the present life, but over the course of your existence. Set yourself up to succeed, by being victorious over yourself on as many fronts as you can be. This is something you can start doing at any time, and isn't only limited to meditation, but is part of all aspects of life. Everyone has their own battles to face, their own challenges to over come.
Don't lament in them, live them, and do what makes you proud of yourself, and allow yourself to do this, enable yourself to succeed.
Let this be of help to you, or to anyone else who reads this and feels a similar way.
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