On Sun, Mar 26, 2017 at 7:52, aldrick.strickland88@... [JoyofSatan666]<
[email protected] wrote:
So Basically you.. Well you see...You have to....
What??
Just do Aura of Protection and Void.
Why do people want to turn this into Harry Potter. They think the Groups are Hog Warts or something.
Here is what you do:
Take three drops of frogs blood. Mix it with two drops of your own blood. Say the incantation. El am retardo!
THEN spread it on top of your head. Go outside and dance around in a circle for twenty minutes.
Keep Chanting El Am Retardo.
Spin around five times, looking into the sun until your eyes burn out of your skull. Once fully Blinded. You can Light your Dick on fire and run over glass bare footed. At this point you should be out right screaming El AM RETARDO!! EL AM RETARDO!!!!
Now you have to defeat the evil tree spirits. Takes another hit of blunt. Those damn tree spirits. They are a formidable lot. They are out in your yard mocking you. Little do people know the enemy is right in their own back yard. Tree Sprites, shooting their fairy fuck Dust from the safety of their trees.
This MUST BE STOPPED. Take one pail of water, mix two cups of sea weed and one cup of raisins, the rest water. Spread it out all over the yard near the tree. Damn Tree Sprites cannot resist sea weed raisin water. DAMN TREE SPRITES. The little bastards will come out to get them a little drink. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE! TO FINALLY END THE NIGHTMARE.
This is where your time has come. To take on the heroic and end the pain. With Pain. You have to start punching yourself in the face. The Sprite will see this and wonder what your problem is. They will come closer, drawn in by your insanity. You must then have your magickal concoction ready. Three parts saw dust, two parts table salt, and one parts 20 year aged Sangria Wine. You are probably thinking you should throw it at them? WRONG!! You must Drink it. Then the Tree Sprites will come to suck your blood, they will latch on to you like a dog on a Yule Ham.
Now you must resist the urge to scratch. Especially your balls. Dont ask why, this is a very complicated process. Then they will fall off drunk and hit the ground. You must now piss on them and they will melt. Now you can go back inside, to your mamas basement, knowing a job well done. TODAY was a successful day. WE CAME, WE CONQUERED, WE GOT RID OF THE DAMN TREE SPRITES.
WARNING:
For those who lack the necessary intelligence and do not realize that this a skit. A false hood, a quakery, a lunacy, a sarcastic jackassery, a debauchery of common sense, a fluke, a swindle, a lie, a incorrecto el dumbfucto, a thing YOU DON'T WANT TO DO. PLEASE DO ALL OF THESE STEPS IMMEDIATELY, ESPECIALLY THE PART OF LIGHTENING YOUR DICK ON FIRE, SO THAT YOU CANNOT REPRODUCE.
THANK YOU.