serpentwalker666
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2017
- Messages
- 1,428
I took some time to focus on some other areas of my life. My education and health, so that when things are better for me and I'm not sick often, and financially drained, that I can contribute and be more involved with the Joy of Satan and projects. Along with just trying to advance further spiritually.
I just am curious if this is the right approach here. I don't have much time whatsoever, being busy with my family and addressing all this. I had to stop working. Simply because I got too sick to hold down a job, and now I channel all my energy into education and trying to heal myself so I don't end up without anything in life, and find a way to carve an income.
I have a loving partner who cares alot for me and is understanding, and a beautiful child, as im trying to build a satanic family. Thankfully for her, income is stable.
I just have been really beating myself up with how I am not as useful as I should be, or could be for you all and it really eats at me sometimes. It frankly pisses me off that I am this limited by health issues which I've poured a drastic amount of energy into, and aren't gone yet.
It's improving. But not at a very good pace. I'm very angry with myself.
Many people could just go hold down a job, and things would be okay or at least manageable. The problem is I'm not disabled enough to even get social security, so unless I figure out how to basically pull a rabbit from a hat, things are very challenging.
For me it's been a life long struggle. Periods of time I've worked, then periods of issues cropping up and affecting every aspect of my life.
I know in the end things will be fine. I just feel bad I haven't been able to do much of anything for you all, my satanic family and for the Gods. It really bothers me.
I'm very consistent with my advancement as well, despite all this.
I just am curious if this is the right approach here. I don't have much time whatsoever, being busy with my family and addressing all this. I had to stop working. Simply because I got too sick to hold down a job, and now I channel all my energy into education and trying to heal myself so I don't end up without anything in life, and find a way to carve an income.
I have a loving partner who cares alot for me and is understanding, and a beautiful child, as im trying to build a satanic family. Thankfully for her, income is stable.
I just have been really beating myself up with how I am not as useful as I should be, or could be for you all and it really eats at me sometimes. It frankly pisses me off that I am this limited by health issues which I've poured a drastic amount of energy into, and aren't gone yet.
It's improving. But not at a very good pace. I'm very angry with myself.
Many people could just go hold down a job, and things would be okay or at least manageable. The problem is I'm not disabled enough to even get social security, so unless I figure out how to basically pull a rabbit from a hat, things are very challenging.
For me it's been a life long struggle. Periods of time I've worked, then periods of issues cropping up and affecting every aspect of my life.
I know in the end things will be fine. I just feel bad I haven't been able to do much of anything for you all, my satanic family and for the Gods. It really bothers me.
I'm very consistent with my advancement as well, despite all this.