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Alarming Synastry/Toxic Relationship

Northern Light

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2017
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6
Hi. I need advice, please. I don't know how to break up with my boyfriend but need to. I knew this for a long time. Reading the synastry chart confirmed it and then some. It was also scary to me. That is down towards the end if youd like to skip the details.

I guess Im venting too, but any advice is appreciated, astrology wise or just in general.

I have been in the relationship for 2 and a half years now. It has been toxic nearly the whole time.
I have felt trapped in it for various reasons, such as pitying them, obligation, and guilt.
Doing a proper synastry chart showed how this relationship is trapping, and that scared me badly. Can i get out? Do i need to ride it out? I have been going through a pluto transit. How does that learning Karma thing work? If i leave, is this crap going to repeat? I feel i get it now!

I cant seem to tell him goodbye because i dont want to hurt his feelings. We live together, it makes it harder than say, not picking up the phone anymore. Im being a complete wuss about this and i know it! I also know its not kind or fair to him even tho it may appear that way for him for me to stay. It's wrong for every one!


Every time we fight, which is multiple times a week, he cries. I try to be nice, too. I dont like being mean. No matter how much he seems to dislike me or how nasty things get, he will cry and say he loves me and wants to be with me.
I dont love him anymore. I dont want him to love me! I want him to let me go!

I say i love him back and reply yes when he asks if i still want to be with him (he constantly seeks reassurance) and i am lying through my teeth every single time. I dont have the balls.

As far as ghosting him, i feel that is hurtful. I did it once and it was painful. We live together. That makes it all the more difficult.

During this pandemic, he has been laid off of work since early March. He is a home body with few hobbies, and has almost never left the house since. He has no car.

A few days ago, it was just a fluke that his friend invited him on a walk. So I had time to haul most of my things to a family member's home. I only took what he wouldnt notice. Everything i truly need/is important and all of my favorite clothes are there now. The household stuff, i dont even care about. My art and decor, it kinds sucks, but oh well. I dont even care about the expenisve appliances I purchased. I just want out.

The boyfriend is emotionally abusive. He is very manipulative. He is possesive and jealous and controlling. This relationship is plutonian! There are 8 aspects, with alot of squares too. Two of them are apparently me as pluto too! I do find myself trying to emotionally control him because i want peace. Were not good for each other!

He has a location app on my cell phone and monitors where i go. If i shut it off, i get questioned. Im sick of the emotional fall out and silent treatment and negative vibes, so i comply.

I walk on eggshells all the time. I can set him off without trying, and often with trying to keep the peace! He has even sensed this and said, "You walking on eggshells makes me want to to yell at you."

He has not hit me so far. I have been shoved once, a while back. He semi threw something at me two weeks ago, but not hard. I wasnt injured. That was for a perceived tone he didnt like and which i didnt give. It was a neutral statement, a reply of what im doing for the rest of the evening.
He has punched the walls a few times, but never to be menacing or threatening.
I have hit him once back in Feburary, and it wasnt a concious descison. He was verbally berating me and didnt care that i was bawling (silent treatment is extremely prevalent!) asking if i was a piece of shit, if he cared about my feelings (for that i got a reply, it was "i guess i dont). I was so frustrated, i started punching the bed around me, he was laying down, his legs took a few punches. It could have been somewhat purposeful, it's kind of a blur. I did stop myself and apologize immediately.
The next day I went over to my ex husband's house where my dog whom the new boyfriend wont let me see was. I just wanted to hug her. I was so sad. I felt defiant enough to defy his wishes and see my dog i lost in the divorce. No, i didnt do anything with my ex!! He was there, and i broke down. He told me i was being abused and started crying himself. He was angry. This is a man who almost never cries. Since that day, ive fully wanted out. That was Feburary 2nd! 4 months now and everyday waiting for the right blow out to have an excuse to leave! In agony! No balls!

Three weeks ago he screamed at me to piss off because he did not like the way i looked at him.
He cannot take even the slighest perceived criticism. He will project it, withdraw, and be nasty towards me.
I feel like hes Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Ive seen him treat others nice and when they leave, be mean to me. But then he will be nice! It goes in cycles! He isnt constantly mean. The next day, he will act as though nothing happened, be nice as pie, and not understand my emotional withdrawal and sadness.

Yes it could be a lot worse, but its bad enough for my taste. Even without that, we have almost nothing in common! We can talk about philosophical and spiritual subjects ( tho he doesnt practice) and synastry comfirms that is what we have in common and that alone. The relationship started long distance so the talking was a big part. He lied to me about interests he had incommon with me, and other things.
That lack of commonality would be enough, honestly.
He is a home body and an introvert.
I am not. Ive spent my whole life being very outdoorsy. I love mosh pits and heavy metal concerts, he like big band era and the beatles (i love Beatles too, but theyre very different from metal) and wont go. Ive spent most weekends throughout life at my cabin camping, swimming, boating, fishing, shooting, atvs, dirtbikes etc. They are some of my very favorite things in life. He has never even once did any of those activities with me. He is afraid of bugs and says all of that is boring. On the phone, he said he loved camping and had rode four wheelers. Come to find out, it was once around someone's yard and he was very bored.
Each time ive gone to the cabin, he has called and texted me the whole time, pissed off, demanding i come home. My trips were always cut short.
The location tracking app on my phone doesnt work in the woods. He doesn't like that or believe that im camping. He is resentlful when he has had to work. When he has been off work and invited, he wont go.
He is mad when i have fun without him and jealous, starts fights. Very needy in all ways and hurt, cant handle when i leave him alone and have my own life even for a few hours. My family has been saddened by my absence. My friends, myself. I just didnt want the emotional fallout. That was so painful for me that i sacrificed doing this things i love.
I also love to ride motorcycles and he is 31 and refuses to learn to drive a car, adamantly. I rode my bike twice last year. He lied to me and said he was practicing driving for hours every day with a friend. He has failed to start my car multiple times, twice for 20 minutes at a time! He asked me which one each pedal was! Then refused to show me how he tried to starg the car.

He has emotionally blackmailed me into getting up at 4 am to drive him to work everyday like his mother. If i dont, he would lose his job, is the line, and it would be my fault. Forget getting his own car. His grandpa just got a huge settlement from the catholic church because he was raped as a child. Grandpa offered to buy him any car he wanted. He refused
. He asks me to pick him up too. He has said he has no sympathy for me when ive complained. He called me a "little bitch." I have never gotten used to getting up early or going to bed early. Im a natural night owl. My schooling has been effected very negatively because of physical and mental fatigue. I never used to know what a headache felt like til i got with him. Migraines. Panic attacks have become more common. I feel tired all the time. My eyes have aged 10 years. I have been a dedicated Satanist for 11 years and until the last 2 years, never ever failed to do quality mediations twice daily , never ever missed a group ritual, in addition to daily yoga and a hard exercise regime. All of that is gone. I do meditation once daily, and it is considerably shorter. That's all that has remained. Other relationships have suffered. Finances have suffered immensely. I couldnt work much when driving him at 4 am. Morning shifts are out and so are second shifts because i cant stay up that late. If i dont gi to bed with him, he is angry. He wont allow me to work nights because he doesnt trust me. I can no longer fully pay my share of the bills. He holds it over me and i detest it. Now im driving him to get my bills paid! Ha.
If i defy him, he will find a way to punish me. I work, am a pre med student, am told that im expected to do all the chores, cooking, and errands and taxi him around. Im drained in so many ways. With the cooking, it is almost always 2 separate meals. He's a picky eater to the extreme with a very limited diet. That or I suffer, because he will never compromise or even try a bite of anything different from his limited menu.

We got together in a peculiar way. It wasnt right. I told him to f off three times, and he somewhow convinced me back in to talking to him. I knew him from my old best friend. His ex! She ran away from him and is now off doing meth hiding in the country with some other guy. I was devasted when she left, he was too, we talked to eachother on the phone. That was 7 years ago. 2 and a half years ago, i met him in person. I had seen him before and used to think he was ugly. Suddenly i felt so drawn to him and attracted. How foolish!
I was going through a divorce and got with him immediately. In two weeks i packed up my life and moved in with him 2000 miles away. Looking back, my behavior and decisons shock and scare me.
Two months in he started to show his true colors. The love bombing and honeymoon ended. I realised my drastic move was a mistake. I missed my family and felt i wronged them too. There were no woods in the big city far away. I packed my car while he was working and ghosted him. I was a few hundred miles towards home and he called me screaming and crying and begging. I came back. He cried and wailed for hours " you fucking left me!" I felt so bad. I stayed but was firm in my decision to move home. He followed me a few months later. He has resented me ever since. I feel like i owe him because he gave up what he thought was a beautiful new life out west/down south to come back to a cold,po dunk northern town. And he is a city person, he doesnt like it here. But when we were there, as now, we never went on dates or did fun things. He is a home body! He is a major pot user and i refuse to take a hit. He is very very mean when sober. He is only interested in games and anime. I have zero interest or time.
I truly believe he is a covert narcissist.
I am empath with a chart which i believe supports this. The houses 12, 8, 4 have planets. My chart ruler supports this too. Ive been told an empath is a perfect victim for an emotional vampire. I do feel drained. And care too much to hurt him. Sometimes I wish i could shut it off. How did I attract this to myself? How can i prevent it? What a fool!

Here we go with synastry! I'm the one on the left. I dont look totally innocent here either and I dont want to hurt anyone! Thats part of why it needs to end.
What really scared me was how accurate all of the descriptions were for the placements. Like someone read my mind
The ones that really scared me was all the pluto. Espcially the squares and some of the aspects to each others ascendants, Saturn included.

8 pluto placements. It's scorpio for both of us.

Sun square pluto
Ascendant trine pluto
Pluto square venus
Mars sextile pluto
Pluto square mars
Mars square pluto
Pluto trine sun
Jupiter sextile pluto
Saturn square pluto

Saturn aspects other than the above:
Saturn square ascendant
Ascendant sextile saturn
Mars conjuct Saturn
Jupiter trine saturn
Uranus conjuct saturn

Every thing else.. of course not everything is bad. But, here is it:
Ascendant sextile ascendant
Sun square ascendant
Sun opposition sun
Moon sextile mars
Venus sextile moon
Mars trine ascendant
Venus trine venus
Moon square sun
Sun opposition mercury
Moon trine jupiter
Mercury opposition sun
Jupiter trine ascendant
Uranis trine ascendant
Ascendant sextile neptune
Venus conjuct uranus
Venus opposition jupiter
Mars conjuct neptune
Jupiter trine neptune
Uranus conjuct neptune
 
What a nightmare on the Chart aspect. You are correct in wanting to get out of this. You will probably never stop arguing Pluto isn’t always bad even in the Square can be worked on but from my experience with Pluto Square Mercury at first with my partner. I would have to say wow. But Mars conjunct Saturn in my personal experience with my dad having the aspect close is not good either another argument aspect. Neither is Saturn Square Ascendant one of you is very controlling and stiffening of the other and possibly one of you could cause harm to another if it works anything like Saturn in hard aspect to chart ruler does but I am not sure here.

You don’t need to read all of them to get a read on the situation it’s not good.

If your looking at it from the astrological aspect. I would not try to break up with him at home while you are there. Do it after you get out.That could turn out to be dangerous especially with all the Pluto stuff here and Saturn. Don’t take any chances with that. I would get what you can and go somewhere else then if need be let him know that.

It sounds like you have had some major issues and problems. If your just looking at it from an astrological aspect it can’t work the relationship even with the positive stuff at least not with both people happy.

Good luck. Hope your life gets better.
 
At this point you shouldn't be scared of hurting his feelings, he's a disgusting manipulative piece of shit. You should take a big breath and do what has to be done.
 
Twiggy92 said:
Okay look, you have to seriously move away from him. You need to make sure of a few things when doing this. Firstly make sure there is no way he could possibly call or text you after you leave. Block his number and any possible way he has to contact you, I believe there are services that let you do that. Don't leave behind anything that could be used against you, check off all of the things first to make sure there is no potential opportunities for stuff like this.

Get all of your things ready and sorted in a way that will let you leave as quickly as possible, without drawing his attention on it. Then stay on the lookout for opportunities. Once you see a window to leave (when he is gone temporarily), go for it. Don't leave him any way to interact with you anymore from that point onward. No calls, no texts. If he sends a letter or something then throw it in the trash without opening it. You need to not allow him any contact. If he feels any kind of chance or glimmer of hope then he will be on your tail potentially for months. You need to starve him completely so that he realizes for himself it's time to move on.

You can leave him behind a letter or something if you want to, but do not write anything in there that would give him any hope. Keep it cold and simple. Something like "It's over, I don't want to ever see you again. Live your own life from now on". That's just an example of course. Don't write anything in there like "I will miss you" or "I'm sorry it has to end like this" or anything like that. That would be the worst mistake you could make. Don't show emotion towards him.

Once you drive off, make sure you contact all your family and friends and notify them of it. This is in case he may try to call them and lie to them to try and put you in a bad situation. Tell them what happened and that they should ignore all calls from him and not tell him anything. In addition to this, make absolutely sure you drive far enough away from him and that he doesn't have any way of knowing where you went. Even if he doesn't have a car, he may try to chase after you in some way regardless. So make sure any such attempts will fail fully for him.
 
No one has to look at any synastry to tell your relationship with this guy is a disaster. Why do you feel bad for someone that shoved you and threw things at you? And is it even possible to punch a wall in a non-threatening way? And then he gets alligator tears... this guy is textbook abusive. Work on whatever hang ups you have about leaving this guy and leave already. Violent, volatile people are likely to escalate as well, so please be careful and just leave. Don’t worry about hurting his feelings, I guarantee he doesn’t care about yours. And whatever feelings you do hurt in him, are going to be his pride and sense of control over the situation. Not any kind of love or care for you.

Stay with your family, stay with a friend, stay with your ex husband if he’s willing. He obviously feels bad for you. Do what you can to leave and do so safely. Losing control over you is more than likely going to set this guy off.

Remember that you are a Satanist. You deserve better.
 
Twiggy92 said:
I have been in the relationship for 2 and a half years now. It has been toxic nearly the whole time. I have felt trapped in it for various reasons, such as pitying them, obligation, and guilt.
...
I cant seem to tell him goodbye because i dont want to hurt his feelings. We live together, it makes it harder than say, not picking up the phone anymore.
...
Every time we fight, which is multiple times a week, he cries. I try to be nice, too.
...
I dont love him anymore. I dont want him to love me! I want him to let me go!

I say i love him back and reply yes when he asks if i still want to be with him (he constantly seeks reassurance) and i am lying through my teeth every single time. I dont have the balls.
...
The boyfriend is emotionally abusive. He is very manipulative. He is possesive and jealous and controlling. This relationship is plutonian! I do find myself trying to emotionally control him because i want peace. Were not good for each other!

He has a location app on my cell phone and monitors where i go. If i shut it off, i get questioned. Im sick of the emotional fall out and silent treatment and negative vibes, so i comply.

I walk on eggshells all the time. I can set him off without trying, and often with trying to keep the peace! He has even sensed this and said, "You walking on eggshells makes me want to to yell at you."
...
<Long part in which stuff happened>
Hun.. someone that has made you feel hurt so so many times for whatever reason.. isn't worth staying with.
And sometimes people apologize for their behavior but if they keep doing it.. they're doing it on purpose. You shouldn't feel pity for someone who does it on purpose, no matter the tears they might shed. You've shed them a thousand times more, even if you didn't show them.

Your feelings matter towards this. Actually they're very important.

Also someone who keeps saying stuff like that and needs reassurance.. probably knows that he isn't worth it, to have you.
If a relationship is going well it shouldn't feel like you need to tie your partner to you. That location app is going way too far. Along with his childish clinging behavior.

The relationship started long distance so the talking was a big part. He lied to me about interests he had incommon with me, and other things.
...
I am not. Ive spent my whole life being very outdoorsy. I love mosh pits and heavy metal concerts, he like big band era and the beatles (i love Beatles too, but theyre very different from metal) and wont go. Ive spent most weekends throughout life at my cabin camping, swimming, boating, fishing, shooting, atvs, dirtbikes etc. They are some of my very favorite things in life. He has never even once did any of those activities with me. He is afraid of bugs and says all of that is boring. On the phone, he said he loved camping and had rode four wheelers. Come to find out, it was once around someone's yard and he was very bored.
Each time ive gone to the cabin, he has called and texted me the whole time, pissed off, demanding i come home. My trips were always cut short.
...
He is mad when i have fun without him and jealous, starts fights. Very needy in all ways and hurt, cant handle when i leave him alone and have my own life even for a few hours. My family has been saddened by my absence. My friends, myself. I just didnt want the emotional fallout. That was so painful for me that i sacrificed doing this things i love.
...
<mother's child, grown-up baby, car, loss>
The Beatles.. aren't they having a lot of kikes in the band? (or a kike-only band)
It's what happens a lot online.. people lie about their interests, fake it when they want to get in your pants or get laid. This is an example of the "predators" that live online and try to ruin girls lives.
And those so called "men" on this forum always pointing their tiny measily little fingers at us women who have to put up with all this crap.
We aren't strong bulky men that can smash someone's brain in if they're completely out of line. Geez.
Some even say 'we don't want to hit girls because we're stronger' all the while still being the most worst kind of person there is out there. What a joke.

(I know there are also women who lie and do traps like this, in example, those on the tv show Catfish).

I am sorry to hear that everything has went so hard. I think it'd help you when you get out of the situation to go and spend some time outside doing what you love :) .

I had seen him before and used to think he was ugly. Suddenly i felt so drawn to him and attracted. How foolish!
This could have been a transit of some sorts, something that astrologically brought on the feeling.

I am empath with a chart which i believe supports this. The houses 12, 8, 4 have planets. My chart ruler supports this too. Ive been told an empath is a perfect victim for an emotional vampire. I do feel drained. And care too much to hurt him. Sometimes I wish i could shut it off. How did I attract this to myself? How can i prevent it? What a fool!
It depends.. I am not entirely sure how to prevent things from happening myself, but doing yoga, and constantly cleaning, helps to dismiss the chances of negative people being drawn to you because you wouldn't be having so much negative energy around you that they can be drawn in.
Also, you need to be decisive when saying things. And a lot of things can be said, even though they might not be nice, depending on the person, you'd be forgiven. And some things just even aren't as bad. Don't be afraid to speak up.
Just keep in mind. When people put shit on you, you are allowed and supposed to fight back.


Hun I want to say something very important here. When you finally leave, immediately disable, and kill the app thats on your phone. DO NOT tell him where you're going to stay. Lest he comes by and becomes violent. He may try to ring your parents house and whoever knows you. If you can, block his phone number.
Contact the police if need be and get a restraining order, if things really get out of hand.

Also, when you got with him when you were going through a divorce you probably just needed someone to be there for you.. don't feel bad about that, okay?

And seriously, if you're mad about him, tell him to grow up too when you leave him. You've got all rights to tell him that he isn't a baby anymore.
Which brings me to wonder, is it your house, is it his, or did you both buy it?
If it is yours, you should do a working to get him kicked on the streets. And get your money back.

Also want to add here, take a look at Lydia's healing from psychological damage working, which uses wunjo.

You know, we'll be here for you if you need help with something :)
Take care, hun, loads of hugs.
 
This guy is a total parasite. Utterly. There is nothing to this relationship other than him draining your life force, money and other things.

Punching a wall is menacing and threatening. It always progresses to abuse and control because it is designed to make you fear him. Him being nice to others is the typical pattern of an abuser. He is not being nice for your sake, but to uphold his appearance in front of others.

He is mean when sober because that is his real personality. He is nice occasionally because he knows being mean 24/7 would drive you to your limit, but this is only the pattern he chose to serve his goals in being controlling. The abusive personality IS the real personality.

He provoked you into hitting him so he could use it as a gotcha against you and bind you to him. Nothing more than that. You would not normally hit someone. You are justifying his behavior in your head by blaming yourself constantly, which you do not deserve.

Someone does not need to be mentally ill (like narcissism) at all to be an abuser or parasite. Much of this is conditioned by the life circumstances and indeed the astrological chart. If his Saturn is aspecting your ruler it really is extremely dangerous. Your life is important.

Please resume your meditations and please try to leave. You are truly loved by your family and many others. The empowerment and confidence to leave is indispensable. The 'excuse' will never come.
 
STAY AWAY FROM THIS PARASITE AND ALL PARASITES!
 
Girl you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. I went through it recently. This can be painful on both ends. Start planning behind his back if you have to.

If you’re renting, and if it’s possible, plan on renting a new place. Or if it’s your place, file a restraining order and kick his ass out simultaneously. Then cut off communication.

You can also do a sun square for more willpower, an aura of protection, and detachment working.

When I first went through my break up it was really hard, and I’m better than ever now. Even healthier physically in every aspect. It’s been a miracle. You can ask the gods to aid in your workings on this. They’ll need your work and commitment on this too, but if you’re all in then shoot for the stars. If Asmodeus is up for it, he is really wonderful, kind, and quick about this stuff. If you know your guardian go to them.
 
Twiggy92 said:
Hi. I need advice, please. I don't know how to break up with my boyfriend but need to. I knew this for a long time. Reading the synastry chart confirmed it and then some. It was also scary to me. That is down towards the end if youd like to skip the details.

I guess Im venting too, but any advice is appreciated, astrology wise or just in general.

I have been in the relationship for 2 and a half years now. It has been toxic nearly the whole time.
I have felt trapped in it for various reasons, such as pitying them, obligation, and guilt.
Doing a proper synastry chart showed how this relationship is trapping, and that scared me badly. Can i get out? Do i need to ride it out? I have been going through a pluto transit. How does that learning Karma thing work? If i leave, is this crap going to repeat? I feel i get it now!

I cant seem to tell him goodbye because i dont want to hurt his feelings. We live together, it makes it harder than say, not picking up the phone anymore. Im being a complete wuss about this and i know it! I also know its not kind or fair to him even tho it may appear that way for him for me to stay. It's wrong for every one!


Every time we fight, which is multiple times a week, he cries. I try to be nice, too. I dont like being mean. No matter how much he seems to dislike me or how nasty things get, he will cry and say he loves me and wants to be with me.
I dont love him anymore. I dont want him to love me! I want him to let me go!

I say i love him back and reply yes when he asks if i still want to be with him (he constantly seeks reassurance) and i am lying through my teeth every single time. I dont have the balls.

As far as ghosting him, i feel that is hurtful. I did it once and it was painful. We live together. That makes it all the more difficult.

During this pandemic, he has been laid off of work since early March. He is a home body with few hobbies, and has almost never left the house since. He has no car.

A few days ago, it was just a fluke that his friend invited him on a walk. So I had time to haul most of my things to a family member's home. I only took what he wouldnt notice. Everything i truly need/is important and all of my favorite clothes are there now. The household stuff, i dont even care about. My art and decor, it kinds sucks, but oh well. I dont even care about the expenisve appliances I purchased. I just want out.

The boyfriend is emotionally abusive. He is very manipulative. He is possesive and jealous and controlling. This relationship is plutonian! There are 8 aspects, with alot of squares too. Two of them are apparently me as pluto too! I do find myself trying to emotionally control him because i want peace. Were not good for each other!

He has a location app on my cell phone and monitors where i go. If i shut it off, i get questioned. Im sick of the emotional fall out and silent treatment and negative vibes, so i comply.

I walk on eggshells all the time. I can set him off without trying, and often with trying to keep the peace! He has even sensed this and said, "You walking on eggshells makes me want to to yell at you."

He has not hit me so far. I have been shoved once, a while back. He semi threw something at me two weeks ago, but not hard. I wasnt injured. That was for a perceived tone he didnt like and which i didnt give. It was a neutral statement, a reply of what im doing for the rest of the evening.
He has punched the walls a few times, but never to be menacing or threatening.
I have hit him once back in Feburary, and it wasnt a concious descison. He was verbally berating me and didnt care that i was bawling (silent treatment is extremely prevalent!) asking if i was a piece of shit, if he cared about my feelings (for that i got a reply, it was "i guess i dont). I was so frustrated, i started punching the bed around me, he was laying down, his legs took a few punches. It could have been somewhat purposeful, it's kind of a blur. I did stop myself and apologize immediately.
The next day I went over to my ex husband's house where my dog whom the new boyfriend wont let me see was. I just wanted to hug her. I was so sad. I felt defiant enough to defy his wishes and see my dog i lost in the divorce. No, i didnt do anything with my ex!! He was there, and i broke down. He told me i was being abused and started crying himself. He was angry. This is a man who almost never cries. Since that day, ive fully wanted out. That was Feburary 2nd! 4 months now and everyday waiting for the right blow out to have an excuse to leave! In agony! No balls!

Three weeks ago he screamed at me to piss off because he did not like the way i looked at him.
He cannot take even the slighest perceived criticism. He will project it, withdraw, and be nasty towards me.
I feel like hes Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Ive seen him treat others nice and when they leave, be mean to me. But then he will be nice! It goes in cycles! He isnt constantly mean. The next day, he will act as though nothing happened, be nice as pie, and not understand my emotional withdrawal and sadness.

Yes it could be a lot worse, but its bad enough for my taste. Even without that, we have almost nothing in common! We can talk about philosophical and spiritual subjects ( tho he doesnt practice) and synastry comfirms that is what we have in common and that alone. The relationship started long distance so the talking was a big part. He lied to me about interests he had incommon with me, and other things.
That lack of commonality would be enough, honestly.
He is a home body and an introvert.
I am not. Ive spent my whole life being very outdoorsy. I love mosh pits and heavy metal concerts, he like big band era and the beatles (i love Beatles too, but theyre very different from metal) and wont go. Ive spent most weekends throughout life at my cabin camping, swimming, boating, fishing, shooting, atvs, dirtbikes etc. They are some of my very favorite things in life. He has never even once did any of those activities with me. He is afraid of bugs and says all of that is boring. On the phone, he said he loved camping and had rode four wheelers. Come to find out, it was once around someone's yard and he was very bored.
Each time ive gone to the cabin, he has called and texted me the whole time, pissed off, demanding i come home. My trips were always cut short.
The location tracking app on my phone doesnt work in the woods. He doesn't like that or believe that im camping. He is resentlful when he has had to work. When he has been off work and invited, he wont go.
He is mad when i have fun without him and jealous, starts fights. Very needy in all ways and hurt, cant handle when i leave him alone and have my own life even for a few hours. My family has been saddened by my absence. My friends, myself. I just didnt want the emotional fallout. That was so painful for me that i sacrificed doing this things i love.
I also love to ride motorcycles and he is 31 and refuses to learn to drive a car, adamantly. I rode my bike twice last year. He lied to me and said he was practicing driving for hours every day with a friend. He has failed to start my car multiple times, twice for 20 minutes at a time! He asked me which one each pedal was! Then refused to show me how he tried to starg the car.

He has emotionally blackmailed me into getting up at 4 am to drive him to work everyday like his mother. If i dont, he would lose his job, is the line, and it would be my fault. Forget getting his own car. His grandpa just got a huge settlement from the catholic church because he was raped as a child. Grandpa offered to buy him any car he wanted. He refused
. He asks me to pick him up too. He has said he has no sympathy for me when ive complained. He called me a "little bitch." I have never gotten used to getting up early or going to bed early. Im a natural night owl. My schooling has been effected very negatively because of physical and mental fatigue. I never used to know what a headache felt like til i got with him. Migraines. Panic attacks have become more common. I feel tired all the time. My eyes have aged 10 years. I have been a dedicated Satanist for 11 years and until the last 2 years, never ever failed to do quality mediations twice daily , never ever missed a group ritual, in addition to daily yoga and a hard exercise regime. All of that is gone. I do meditation once daily, and it is considerably shorter. That's all that has remained. Other relationships have suffered. Finances have suffered immensely. I couldnt work much when driving him at 4 am. Morning shifts are out and so are second shifts because i cant stay up that late. If i dont gi to bed with him, he is angry. He wont allow me to work nights because he doesnt trust me. I can no longer fully pay my share of the bills. He holds it over me and i detest it. Now im driving him to get my bills paid! Ha.
If i defy him, he will find a way to punish me. I work, am a pre med student, am told that im expected to do all the chores, cooking, and errands and taxi him around. Im drained in so many ways. With the cooking, it is almost always 2 separate meals. He's a picky eater to the extreme with a very limited diet. That or I suffer, because he will never compromise or even try a bite of anything different from his limited menu.

We got together in a peculiar way. It wasnt right. I told him to f off three times, and he somewhow convinced me back in to talking to him. I knew him from my old best friend. His ex! She ran away from him and is now off doing meth hiding in the country with some other guy. I was devasted when she left, he was too, we talked to eachother on the phone. That was 7 years ago. 2 and a half years ago, i met him in person. I had seen him before and used to think he was ugly. Suddenly i felt so drawn to him and attracted. How foolish!
I was going through a divorce and got with him immediately. In two weeks i packed up my life and moved in with him 2000 miles away. Looking back, my behavior and decisons shock and scare me.
Two months in he started to show his true colors. The love bombing and honeymoon ended. I realised my drastic move was a mistake. I missed my family and felt i wronged them too. There were no woods in the big city far away. I packed my car while he was working and ghosted him. I was a few hundred miles towards home and he called me screaming and crying and begging. I came back. He cried and wailed for hours " you fucking left me!" I felt so bad. I stayed but was firm in my decision to move home. He followed me a few months later. He has resented me ever since. I feel like i owe him because he gave up what he thought was a beautiful new life out west/down south to come back to a cold,po dunk northern town. And he is a city person, he doesnt like it here. But when we were there, as now, we never went on dates or did fun things. He is a home body! He is a major pot user and i refuse to take a hit. He is very very mean when sober. He is only interested in games and anime. I have zero interest or time.
I truly believe he is a covert narcissist.
I am empath with a chart which i believe supports this. The houses 12, 8, 4 have planets. My chart ruler supports this too. Ive been told an empath is a perfect victim for an emotional vampire. I do feel drained. And care too much to hurt him. Sometimes I wish i could shut it off. How did I attract this to myself? How can i prevent it? What a fool!

Here we go with synastry! I'm the one on the left. I dont look totally innocent here either and I dont want to hurt anyone! Thats part of why it needs to end.
What really scared me was how accurate all of the descriptions were for the placements. Like someone read my mind
The ones that really scared me was all the pluto. Espcially the squares and some of the aspects to each others ascendants, Saturn included.

8 pluto placements. It's scorpio for both of us.

Sun square pluto
Ascendant trine pluto
Pluto square venus
Mars sextile pluto
Pluto square mars
Mars square pluto
Pluto trine sun
Jupiter sextile pluto
Saturn square pluto

Saturn aspects other than the above:
Saturn square ascendant
Ascendant sextile saturn
Mars conjuct Saturn
Jupiter trine saturn
Uranus conjuct saturn

Every thing else.. of course not everything is bad. But, here is it:
Ascendant sextile ascendant
Sun square ascendant
Sun opposition sun
Moon sextile mars
Venus sextile moon
Mars trine ascendant
Venus trine venus
Moon square sun
Sun opposition mercury
Moon trine jupiter
Mercury opposition sun
Jupiter trine ascendant
Uranis trine ascendant
Ascendant sextile neptune
Venus conjuct uranus
Venus opposition jupiter
Mars conjuct neptune
Jupiter trine neptune
Uranus conjuct neptune



I am going to sound cruel but fucking ghost him. Pack up one day when you know he won't catch you during it and leave. He is a manipulative piece of shit. Get the fuck out of there fasttt. Seriously. I didnt even have to look at the damn synastry to know that.

You deserve better. I know you are worried about hurting his feelings, but he's using that against you intentionally. Theres plenty of suitable partners out there, seriously. Take care and don't get caught packing up, doesn't seem like the type who wouldnt get violent honestly.
 
Leave him and file a restraining order against him so that he doesn't contact and trouble you again. To be honest don't show any mercy upon him and ruthlessly transfer your household stuff elsewhere while he isnt home. That includes all vehicles, appliances, tools and such. For vehicles you can transfer them by pretending that you gave them to mechanic and for appliances too you can do the same. You have already suffered a lot of losses. Dont suffer any more. Also try speaking to his parents, grandparents, friends and such about the decision you will be taking so that in case he commits/attempts a suicide, you wont be liable. Try recording the convos as well. In some countries it is not permitted by law so you need to ask for consent. You should do MUNKA workings as well to destroy all attachments between you and him.
 
It stinks that their Saturn may destroy any of my own planets. I wouldn't say I like it.
 
You sure this cuckold isn't jewish?
Detach immediately. Im not a relationship expert, but I would say that you should find some daily time to practice magick. Bind him with Isa.
You can also ask for a demon's assistance. Lady Astarte in this case may be who you must seek help from. She will definitely help you.
 
Leave him. Do a freeing the soul working for a hampered love life using Uruz, Ansuz or Munka and do a working to attract the perfect partner to you using Gebo.
Stay strong, you'll get through this!
 
Twiggy92 said:
Hi. I need advice, please. I don't know how to break up with my boyfriend but need to. I knew this for a long time. Reading the synastry chart confirmed it and then some. It was also scary to me. That is down towards the end if youd like to skip the details.

I guess Im venting too, but any advice is appreciated, astrology wise or just in general.

I have been in the relationship for 2 and a half years now. It has been toxic nearly the whole time.
I have felt trapped in it for various reasons, such as pitying them, obligation, and guilt.
Doing a proper synastry chart showed how this relationship is trapping, and that scared me badly. Can i get out? Do i need to ride it out? I have been going through a pluto transit. How does that learning Karma thing work? If i leave, is this crap going to repeat? I feel i get it now!

I cant seem to tell him goodbye because i dont want to hurt his feelings. We live together, it makes it harder than say, not picking up the phone anymore. Im being a complete wuss about this and i know it! I also know its not kind or fair to him even tho it may appear that way for him for me to stay. It's wrong for every one!


Every time we fight, which is multiple times a week, he cries. I try to be nice, too. I dont like being mean. No matter how much he seems to dislike me or how nasty things get, he will cry and say he loves me and wants to be with me.
I dont love him anymore. I dont want him to love me! I want him to let me go!

I say i love him back and reply yes when he asks if i still want to be with him (he constantly seeks reassurance) and i am lying through my teeth every single time. I dont have the balls.

As far as ghosting him, i feel that is hurtful. I did it once and it was painful. We live together. That makes it all the more difficult.

During this pandemic, he has been laid off of work since early March. He is a home body with few hobbies, and has almost never left the house since. He has no car.

A few days ago, it was just a fluke that his friend invited him on a walk. So I had time to haul most of my things to a family member's home. I only took what he wouldnt notice. Everything i truly need/is important and all of my favorite clothes are there now. The household stuff, i dont even care about. My art and decor, it kinds sucks, but oh well. I dont even care about the expenisve appliances I purchased. I just want out.

The boyfriend is emotionally abusive. He is very manipulative. He is possesive and jealous and controlling. This relationship is plutonian! There are 8 aspects, with alot of squares too. Two of them are apparently me as pluto too! I do find myself trying to emotionally control him because i want peace. Were not good for each other!

He has a location app on my cell phone and monitors where i go. If i shut it off, i get questioned. Im sick of the emotional fall out and silent treatment and negative vibes, so i comply.

I walk on eggshells all the time. I can set him off without trying, and often with trying to keep the peace! He has even sensed this and said, "You walking on eggshells makes me want to to yell at you."

He has not hit me so far. I have been shoved once, a while back. He semi threw something at me two weeks ago, but not hard. I wasnt injured. That was for a perceived tone he didnt like and which i didnt give. It was a neutral statement, a reply of what im doing for the rest of the evening.
He has punched the walls a few times, but never to be menacing or threatening.
I have hit him once back in Feburary, and it wasnt a concious descison. He was verbally berating me and didnt care that i was bawling (silent treatment is extremely prevalent!) asking if i was a piece of shit, if he cared about my feelings (for that i got a reply, it was "i guess i dont). I was so frustrated, i started punching the bed around me, he was laying down, his legs took a few punches. It could have been somewhat purposeful, it's kind of a blur. I did stop myself and apologize immediately.
The next day I went over to my ex husband's house where my dog whom the new boyfriend wont let me see was. I just wanted to hug her. I was so sad. I felt defiant enough to defy his wishes and see my dog i lost in the divorce. No, i didnt do anything with my ex!! He was there, and i broke down. He told me i was being abused and started crying himself. He was angry. This is a man who almost never cries. Since that day, ive fully wanted out. That was Feburary 2nd! 4 months now and everyday waiting for the right blow out to have an excuse to leave! In agony! No balls!

Three weeks ago he screamed at me to piss off because he did not like the way i looked at him.
He cannot take even the slighest perceived criticism. He will project it, withdraw, and be nasty towards me.
I feel like hes Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Ive seen him treat others nice and when they leave, be mean to me. But then he will be nice! It goes in cycles! He isnt constantly mean. The next day, he will act as though nothing happened, be nice as pie, and not understand my emotional withdrawal and sadness.

Yes it could be a lot worse, but its bad enough for my taste. Even without that, we have almost nothing in common! We can talk about philosophical and spiritual subjects ( tho he doesnt practice) and synastry comfirms that is what we have in common and that alone. The relationship started long distance so the talking was a big part. He lied to me about interests he had incommon with me, and other things.
That lack of commonality would be enough, honestly.
He is a home body and an introvert.
I am not. Ive spent my whole life being very outdoorsy. I love mosh pits and heavy metal concerts, he like big band era and the beatles (i love Beatles too, but theyre very different from metal) and wont go. Ive spent most weekends throughout life at my cabin camping, swimming, boating, fishing, shooting, atvs, dirtbikes etc. They are some of my very favorite things in life. He has never even once did any of those activities with me. He is afraid of bugs and says all of that is boring. On the phone, he said he loved camping and had rode four wheelers. Come to find out, it was once around someone's yard and he was very bored.
Each time ive gone to the cabin, he has called and texted me the whole time, pissed off, demanding i come home. My trips were always cut short.
The location tracking app on my phone doesnt work in the woods. He doesn't like that or believe that im camping. He is resentlful when he has had to work. When he has been off work and invited, he wont go.
He is mad when i have fun without him and jealous, starts fights. Very needy in all ways and hurt, cant handle when i leave him alone and have my own life even for a few hours. My family has been saddened by my absence. My friends, myself. I just didnt want the emotional fallout. That was so painful for me that i sacrificed doing this things i love.
I also love to ride motorcycles and he is 31 and refuses to learn to drive a car, adamantly. I rode my bike twice last year. He lied to me and said he was practicing driving for hours every day with a friend. He has failed to start my car multiple times, twice for 20 minutes at a time! He asked me which one each pedal was! Then refused to show me how he tried to starg the car.

He has emotionally blackmailed me into getting up at 4 am to drive him to work everyday like his mother. If i dont, he would lose his job, is the line, and it would be my fault. Forget getting his own car. His grandpa just got a huge settlement from the catholic church because he was raped as a child. Grandpa offered to buy him any car he wanted. He refused
. He asks me to pick him up too. He has said he has no sympathy for me when ive complained. He called me a "little bitch." I have never gotten used to getting up early or going to bed early. Im a natural night owl. My schooling has been effected very negatively because of physical and mental fatigue. I never used to know what a headache felt like til i got with him. Migraines. Panic attacks have become more common. I feel tired all the time. My eyes have aged 10 years. I have been a dedicated Satanist for 11 years and until the last 2 years, never ever failed to do quality mediations twice daily , never ever missed a group ritual, in addition to daily yoga and a hard exercise regime. All of that is gone. I do meditation once daily, and it is considerably shorter. That's all that has remained. Other relationships have suffered. Finances have suffered immensely. I couldnt work much when driving him at 4 am. Morning shifts are out and so are second shifts because i cant stay up that late. If i dont gi to bed with him, he is angry. He wont allow me to work nights because he doesnt trust me. I can no longer fully pay my share of the bills. He holds it over me and i detest it. Now im driving him to get my bills paid! Ha.
If i defy him, he will find a way to punish me. I work, am a pre med student, am told that im expected to do all the chores, cooking, and errands and taxi him around. Im drained in so many ways. With the cooking, it is almost always 2 separate meals. He's a picky eater to the extreme with a very limited diet. That or I suffer, because he will never compromise or even try a bite of anything different from his limited menu.

We got together in a peculiar way. It wasnt right. I told him to f off three times, and he somewhow convinced me back in to talking to him. I knew him from my old best friend. His ex! She ran away from him and is now off doing meth hiding in the country with some other guy. I was devasted when she left, he was too, we talked to eachother on the phone. That was 7 years ago. 2 and a half years ago, i met him in person. I had seen him before and used to think he was ugly. Suddenly i felt so drawn to him and attracted. How foolish!
I was going through a divorce and got with him immediately. In two weeks i packed up my life and moved in with him 2000 miles away. Looking back, my behavior and decisons shock and scare me.
Two months in he started to show his true colors. The love bombing and honeymoon ended. I realised my drastic move was a mistake. I missed my family and felt i wronged them too. There were no woods in the big city far away. I packed my car while he was working and ghosted him. I was a few hundred miles towards home and he called me screaming and crying and begging. I came back. He cried and wailed for hours " you fucking left me!" I felt so bad. I stayed but was firm in my decision to move home. He followed me a few months later. He has resented me ever since. I feel like i owe him because he gave up what he thought was a beautiful new life out west/down south to come back to a cold,po dunk northern town. And he is a city person, he doesnt like it here. But when we were there, as now, we never went on dates or did fun things. He is a home body! He is a major pot user and i refuse to take a hit. He is very very mean when sober. He is only interested in games and anime. I have zero interest or time.
I truly believe he is a covert narcissist.
I am empath with a chart which i believe supports this. The houses 12, 8, 4 have planets. My chart ruler supports this too. Ive been told an empath is a perfect victim for an emotional vampire. I do feel drained. And care too much to hurt him. Sometimes I wish i could shut it off. How did I attract this to myself? How can i prevent it? What a fool!

Here we go with synastry! I'm the one on the left. I dont look totally innocent here either and I dont want to hurt anyone! Thats part of why it needs to end.
What really scared me was how accurate all of the descriptions were for the placements. Like someone read my mind
The ones that really scared me was all the pluto. Espcially the squares and some of the aspects to each others ascendants, Saturn included.

8 pluto placements. It's scorpio for both of us.

Sun square pluto
Ascendant trine pluto
Pluto square venus
Mars sextile pluto
Pluto square mars
Mars square pluto
Pluto trine sun
Jupiter sextile pluto
Saturn square pluto

Saturn aspects other than the above:
Saturn square ascendant
Ascendant sextile saturn
Mars conjuct Saturn
Jupiter trine saturn
Uranus conjuct saturn

Every thing else.. of course not everything is bad. But, here is it:
Ascendant sextile ascendant
Sun square ascendant
Sun opposition sun
Moon sextile mars
Venus sextile moon
Mars trine ascendant
Venus trine venus
Moon square sun
Sun opposition mercury
Moon trine jupiter
Mercury opposition sun
Jupiter trine ascendant
Uranis trine ascendant
Ascendant sextile neptune
Venus conjuct uranus
Venus opposition jupiter
Mars conjuct neptune
Jupiter trine neptune
Uranus conjuct neptune




I am not kidding don’t skip a single heartbeat on feeling bad for him. To be honest I am still struggling very badly from two relationships. But it gets better and it’s worth the uphill battle. I have kids with both of them as well. First was incredibly violent, lost it every time I wanted space, and his suicide threats plus having a strong belief in staying with a child’s father - once I made the final decision to leave I knew it was that or get killed. I almost did once. I did have to fight and use everything I had. I can’t sugar coat that. It took a massive toll on my spirit BUT, I believed in myself and really this was completely on me. It was worth it to fight. That was the first one. The second one, this guy seemed like a godsend compared to the last. He had some buried issues that I could not see at the time. But things would build up, he always held my previous exes actions over my head and it made me feel like a constant victim. Although he did help me fight back, I needed to leave for, at the time I thought a “little while” and for my own sake to heal from the first relationship and tend to myself and learn to just be my own person for once in my life, strong in myself like I had always wanted. I was disallowed this as a child - I was not allowed to do outside sports at like in a school or even cook my own food because my mom was in fear that we would tell others that she was cruel and that she would face consequences. She feared independence in me because she heavily relied on me for emotional strength and support. She was also extremely violent. Anyway, I had another kid with the second guy. It was supposed to be a civil break up but he lost it and started doing all kinds of vindictive things. He enjoyed when I was sick, also didn’t like me doing anything for myself, and I was falsely hoping that he would be kind and understanding when I left, because he knew I needed my own strength and instead he just tried to rip it from me. Still haven’t resolved it and have to deal with the other one again at the same time. I have no choice but to be strong currently. Eventually I hope I will fully recover but my spirit is keeping me strong. Do what you have to do for yourself and do not sacrifice anything for him. You can do this, and you should know that the consequences could be worse if you don’t. Don’t over emphasize the planets in your mind. And don’t wait for karma to take its toll on you. You are the karma. The karma is not you. Take it out with the trash. I’ve been made to feel like a criminal for the most basic of emotional needs from the time I could speak. I’m 27 now and it’s been a long battle but I’m done. I have been stuck in a cycle of helping others and not knowing how to receive it. This is the downfall. I just made a post about telling people to get fucked and not being afraid to do it. Do it, and love it. I have not loved the prospect of leaving because I am really distraught that I have kids with them, so the emotional toll because of the loyalty to that was hard. It was just when I thought everything was perfect but I was not ready as a person for the relationship aspect. People should be able to have some healthy distance in relationships and not take minor things so seriously. Such as you wanting some simple space. Everything will eventually balance out in relationships for our people, I have faith in this and am rooting strongly for it.
 
Twiggy92 said:
(...)
His grandpa just got a huge settlement from the catholic church because he was raped as a child. Grandpa offered to buy him any car he wanted. He refused

As many here suggested, you cannot be abused that way as a Satanist as this person is clearly causing a disaster in your life.
From what you described, your boyfriend sounds like a sexual abuse survivor, as this shit can be handed over generation to generation, as a link to a (jewish/xian) vortex of energy.
I am a survivor myself and I am struggling with this shit coming from my family since day one; I had and still have similar problems in relationship (to a lower degree) that I am trying to fix.
As you say he does not practice anything spiritual, so he is not obviously a Satanist, he is barely doomed as without any knowledge, meditation and help from the Gods (basic help, as most often you cannot see things yourself as emotionally blinded), there is not much one can do to clean himself.
Psychologists call this PTSD and also DID so I would not be surprised if your boyfriend has a hidden personality (basically, a powerful thoughtform built on negative energies from discarded emotions) who one day could even kill you out of the blue.
Crying, playing the victim, etc. comes from those sub-personalities caused by traumas that broke up the person's main personality. Many abusers are like this, some are stronger souls and struggled to avoid falling into this shit.

Be aware, when you will leave him, he will do anything to emotionally blackmail you including fake suicidal attempts, telling you about childhood abuses, etc. So cutting any contact in a sudden and cold way (Uranus rules here) without any further contact with him, may be of true help.
He will most likely find another victim to drain, or so; but he will always choose to drain you because he already linked to your soul, if you stay somehow available for him.
As you certainly know this will require a deep detaching meditation from his chakras after you will be far.
This is my point of view, at least!
 
It stinks that their Saturn may destroy any of my own planets. I wouldn't say I like it. It gives me the impression that they dislike me for being who I am and are oppressing blonde ukrainian women. Men with this type of Saturn DO act more like my father than they are in a relationship with another sane adult. They can be obnoxious, cruel, or just plain arrogant, believing they are superior, smarter, and more logical. Although a synastry link between Saturn and the personal planets can have advantages, eff that. Those combinations are a total doo-doo.
 
Looks to me like you have a Narcissist on your hand's.

I'd do what Shael said and cut him off in every way imaginable.

I'd highly recommend educating yourself on them.

They are parasites and energy vampires.

There are plenty of video's on the Jootube about them.

You can also find anti-narc affirmations online that can help you to heal from the abuse.

You can also get a Black Kyanite, this will stop any energy theft.

I would add a fluorite to stop any psychological manipulations.

You are in the fire now but you will come out on the other side a stronger person.

Know that you are loved, valuable, worthy, and not alone.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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