BlueWizard
Member
Hello everyone. Before I start I just want to tell that I wanted to write about this so many times but never found courage to do so. This is a really sensitive topic and I never shared it with anyone.
So, how to start. I am a guy in my 20's now and obviously hormones still working. I get attracted to girls and all that which is completely normal. Yes, I get attracted to girls but recently, well, not quite, like, 3 years ago, first when it started I got attracted to young kids. Not just that, I go out on internet, look at the pictures and sometimes even imagine myself having sex with them. Like, I can't wait to have my own family and that, but how am I supposed to have kids when I can't control myself. Before I continue I just want to tell to whomever is about to respond that I am a jew, only jews do that,.. DON'T, I needed sooo much courage to write this so don't throw me down even more.
Whenever I ask Satan something or just want to tell him how my day went I can feel his energy which is beautiful that I start to cry. So the jew thing doesn't work on me. I am ashamed to even call myself satanist and I know that Gods don't approve of what I do but I absolutely can't control it. The more I do it, the more it takes over me.
As I am not that yet advanced in my meditations, I will try my best to do any meditation or runes to heal myself from this.
All of your help will be much appreciated and I will make sure to repay you best as I can. I will never forget it.
I feel better now that I finally wrote this, only thing left is to press the submit button...
So, how to start. I am a guy in my 20's now and obviously hormones still working. I get attracted to girls and all that which is completely normal. Yes, I get attracted to girls but recently, well, not quite, like, 3 years ago, first when it started I got attracted to young kids. Not just that, I go out on internet, look at the pictures and sometimes even imagine myself having sex with them. Like, I can't wait to have my own family and that, but how am I supposed to have kids when I can't control myself. Before I continue I just want to tell to whomever is about to respond that I am a jew, only jews do that,.. DON'T, I needed sooo much courage to write this so don't throw me down even more.
Whenever I ask Satan something or just want to tell him how my day went I can feel his energy which is beautiful that I start to cry. So the jew thing doesn't work on me. I am ashamed to even call myself satanist and I know that Gods don't approve of what I do but I absolutely can't control it. The more I do it, the more it takes over me.
As I am not that yet advanced in my meditations, I will try my best to do any meditation or runes to heal myself from this.
All of your help will be much appreciated and I will make sure to repay you best as I can. I will never forget it.
I feel better now that I finally wrote this, only thing left is to press the submit button...