A personal problem

[WEASZX]

Hello I hope everyone is coming out of covid well, I sure didn't. Im new to the form, however Ive been SS for just under a year now (dedicated on 10th September 2019). Im Canadian, Male and 20 years old. I severely need a support group in my life and I couldnt think of a better one than the accumilated knowledge of the Joy of Satan (and the Gods of course). My main critical problem is a common one I think, yet I still cant find how to fix my behaviour. I am a perfectionist, but I tend to lose interest in things quickly and far before completing the activity. Each time I meditate, I feel and acknowledge it works and I feel great doing it, yet it bores me the next day and so forth until I decide not to meditate for an entire month straight.

I have a new found (temporary) ambition to experiment with Biokinesis (manipulation of life on a cellular level) and thus have an interest in power meditations again. Itll probably last for a week at best, even if I was to get results (typical of me).

If anyone has advice on how to overcome this horribly repressing behaviour, I would greatly appreciate it. I hate havings debts so Ill gladly aid you (and the community) as well if Im able.

Ave
WEASZX

 

[Tyrone1978]

Just sounds like laziness to me. You give up when it feels like it's taking a little effort. Laziness.

No person takes any action unless it is for the benefits thereof.

So what you need to do is fix in your mind a benefit you desire out of meditating.

And then work each day towards that goal.

It takes about a month to get set in a new routine.

You just need to plan it each day. And not last thing in the evening and just before you jump in bed dog tired. Schedule a decent time to get it into your routine.

And then just push through with it daily until it becomes a habit and part of your routine. Like physical cleanliness, you do your daily spiritual cleanliness.

People can be jealous of others that have more. But those that can be jealous of the successful guy started out with the same potential. Just the successful guy was focused and worked towards a goal. The jealous ones sat and did nothing and then were angry they landed up with less.

So work for the benefits.

 

[Sledgehammer666]

Hello brother alias WEAZY , I am Sledgehammer666 this is a new account as situations changed , I have been in Satan by the blood sacrifice dedication ritual For around 15 years to sign your soul to Satan to help guide and protect binding under universal laws and agreements set fourth from the governments and society’s.....I don’t even know where to start brother WEAZY .....I mean you need a lot of direction and I have so many questions I would need to ask you before I could give you any advice man.and remember this is a good community but there are alotnof infiltrators and w.e so yo.....you did the dedication ritual properly.aand you attempted or did successfully to your best ability to sign the document in your own blood correct alias WEAZY...you did this entire ritual correctly yes?

 

[Ghost in the Machine]

----

This was typical for me in my first years as well, off and on slacking and struggling to stay consistent, I do meditations regularly every day now out of habit and routine and that I actually enjoy it now and have for many years even in just doing it for fun. Spirituality and meditation is an entirely new lifestyle to the modern spiritually weakened human, you shouldn't expect it to take off so quickly and then beat yourself up about it not doing so.

You're finding motivation in an emotional drive, which is perfectly natural and can probably be utilized. When I first started out my drive was the awesomeness of magic powers and hoping to be able to do them, and I recognized I needed to build myself up to do this. Now that I am at the level after many, many years that I am capable of doing some of them ("Extraordinary Ability and Keeping Your Mouth Shut"), it's extremely casual to me and doesn't feel as 'awesome' like it did when I was a kid, just a normal everyday thing even when I see it in others and I hardly even bother doing them at all unless to experiment or when necessary (such as biokinesis to fix a spinal injury); But the important thing was that it motivated me in the start, and then over time the lifestyle kicked in as a habit and I just did it regularly everyday as I would in eating breakfast, brushing my teeth and showering, etc.

I know you're not new, but perhaps it would help you to read this anyways: New Satanists - Getting Started Towards Spiritual Power. You can't hope to do much in 'magic powers' unless you build up your soul first, because in order to do magic with power you first need to have power. Can't drive a car very far with basically an empty gas tank now can you? Perhaps this can be your motivation, a good work in progress towards a fun goal. Use whatever motivates you and let that be your drive to put in the effort. Discipline comes in time and development and more often than not needs to be kickstarted by such things anyways.

You'll get the hang of it, don't stress yourself so much about it and go at your own steady pace of discipline. It does not need to be perfect. If you're setting far too high of goals that you are struggling to be consistent with, then lower them. Make it easier starting out, then the successes of the easier things can help build you up to bigger ones in time.

It's not a race.

 

[Devil's advocate]

Getting bored by mediation usually comes from feeling that its not actually working.
Its pretty much like... Playing soda crush(when i play a certain level over three times and fail, i get bored and close the app, I say I will try again tomorrow or somn')

When we are new to meditation we are not astray open, so we can not feel the energy yet. It takes time and effort.

So how do you beat the boredom, which keeps you from wanting yo try again-
For me it was getting to know the actual importance and revelence of meditation. (spiritual advancement)

If you knew that spiritual advancement is a matter of life and death then you would know that you can not afford to take liberties.

I personally can not do without daily mediation, not because its so easy for me, on the contrary- sometimes its plain hard(some workings) , some times am just lazy, and some times its hard to make the time!
But, I know regardless of all the above, I need to to do the bloody meditations.

So whether its boring or not, you simply need to know that you need to do it. Imperative.


Another approach is, stick to what interest you, obsses about it even(like you mentioned biokinesis) reserch intensively, try and practice. It will bring the fun out of it.

Hail Father Satan
Hail Haagenti
88

Devil's Advocate

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

Hello I hope everyone is coming out of covid well, I sure didn't. Im new to the form, however Ive been SS for just under a year now (dedicated on 10th September 2019). Im Canadian, Male and 20 years old. I severely need a support group in my life and I couldnt think of a better one than the accumilated knowledge of the Joy of Satan (and the Gods of course). My main critical problem is a common one I think, yet I still cant find how to fix my behaviour. I am a perfectionist, but I tend to lose interest in things quickly and far before completing the activity. Each time I meditate, I feel and acknowledge it works and I feel great doing it, yet it bores me the next day and so forth until I decide not to meditate for an entire month straight.

I have a new found (temporary) ambition to experiment with Biokinesis (manipulation of life on a cellular level) and thus have an interest in power meditations again. Itll probably last for a week at best, even if I was to get results (typical of me).

If anyone has advice on how to overcome this horribly repressing behaviour, I would greatly appreciate it. I hate havings debts so Ill gladly aid you (and the community) as well if Im able.

Ave
WEASZX

Sounds like a bit of an air elemental dominance. If this is the case, you may have strength in your mental ability and adaptability, but you may falter in your staying power (because your body wants quicker change than average). Have you done a natal chart reading for yourself? This would help elucidate your behavior and allow your to counter your weaknesses.

There are multiple angles you should approach this. Firstly, you can do workings that will aid your motivation, however one problem with this is that you may become bored of that working too soon, if it wasn't producing results quickly enough. Once you have more motivation to call upon, workings can be a more useful solution, but for now I would suggest hypnosis as a means for altering your behavior. I view hypnosis almost inbetween the physical and spiritual world, in the sense that it produces results very quickly in the physical realm, but its means of action are done through the mind and subconscious.

The aspects of your behavior that you want to change are probably not just motivation, but also staying power, discipline, and perhaps a strong affinity or derivation of enjoyment from spiritual work (such that you meditate daily not by force, but desire). However, the most important and first step is to first scrounge up some motivation that you can call upon that would then allow you to accomplish these grander goals. Hopefully that makes sense.

For hypnosis, I would suggest Wendi's program as I hve had good success with it, even with little usage.Natural Hypnosis is another good one that I used in the past. I prefer multiple sessions in a program, as opposed to just one session however, as it seems more conclusive.

Second: If you use any clownworld entertainment products, you likely have poor dopamine functioning as a result instant-gratification you receive. Cutting down, or blocking these activities, such as video games, youtube, or anything like this, will also go a long way at aiding your staying power on otherwise relatively "boring" activities, such as meditating. Even a high sugar intake or other stimulating and addictive elements of processed foods will encourage your body to act in this unhealthy manner. This is because your brain is given such a strong differential between choices of activities. "Why do this one boring activity when this other one is 10x more fun and requires zero effort?".

This is what focus meditation does, in that you are forcing your brain to sit "still" for a set amount of time with no external gratification. Use this same concept in your lifestyle choices to promote the same thing - increased length of time/more work per the gratification received. Modern technology is good for logistics and communication, but it has been really bad for motivation/dopamine-functioning. Have faith, as you will find your brain will adapt over the course of ~3-5 days of strict abstinence and will begin to be entertained by what used to be boring. The same way you brain gets used to new items and other positivity, it also gets used to a reduction in items and amount of gratification.

Focal/void medication alone will go a long way to fixing you, but this is more long-term in nature, whereas you desire quick change. This is where they hypnosis comes into play. If you find yourself unable to sit for the hypnosis sessions, then I would suggest an easy 5 minutes of void meditation, which is just enough to generate some mental fire or willpower to push on and do the hypnosis. Also, don't trick yourself: make the hypnosis and other solutions you employ in the future as the immediate priority in your day. I would do it the first thing in the morning, if you can. Don't try and work on other stuff first.

Mantras you can use in the future might be runes such as Eiwhaz/Nauthiz/Uruz, Aum Yamaya Nama/Svaha, or Raum/Suryae. You could also invoke fire or use fire mantras, but I don't know if this is really a permanent solution. Feel free to try these as well, but I would prioritize the hypnosis. Like I said above, it produces more immediate results.

 

[Azorm]

If you can stick to it start a working with ansuz rune or munka rune to free yourself from all obstacles that are stopping you to meditate.

It would be the best to find some good reasons for yourself to stick to your meditations, try to think deeply why you need it and be a bit strict with yourself. If nothing works maybe try fooling your brain with somthing nice to reward yourself after meditations, or listen to the music while meditating.

Realize that importance to become a God and to clean and advance your soul is greater than your need to do it all perfectly.

It's okay to be strict but on the other hand..stop burning yourself out and do every day just what you can, then add more meditations and workings when you are ready. Stick with what you have tho. Don't skip a single day no matter what.

If you have some planets in your natal chart or AC in Virgo, or you just love to stress about everything and you tend to be too nervous when one thing goes wrong, start easy every day, make yourself comfortable. Later you can calm yourself down and do workings with healing wunjo rune to help you to stay focused on your meditations and your work even when one or two things are off.

If you aren't sure how to do those workings with runes and mantras you can always ask here on forums for more advices.

 

[Shael]

...

What you need isnt a support group. These kinds of conditions are aided heavily by external stimuli that you use to "motivate" yourself to do things. For example, listening to music, watching youtube videos, playing games, eating sweets, getting encouragement from others, or having unreasonably big expectations of things.

If you rely on things like this in order to get off your ass and do essential things, it will merely make your condition worse. What you need to do to fix it, is to temper your mind thoroughly. Like coming off a drug addiction, it will feel very shitty at first especially for the first few days and possibly weeks depending on how bad your case is. This is the only way to realistically get rid of this shitty habit and state of mind.

To temper your mind, first you must get into the habit of starting your day, and doing your routinely things, without relying on any form of external dopamine. So no phone, PC, music, etc. Get into the habit of doing your routinely things without any of that stuff, as much as possible.
Secondly, do Void Meditation atleast twice a day for 5 minutes each. If you can do it thrice or more, even better. You must get into the habit of thinking of nothing sometimes, and to be able to do so at will at any time. That's what Void Meditation will allow you to do over time.

Your mind right now is like a lazy spoiled brat. You will continue to be at the mercy of this immature kid until you find in yourself the determination to straighten it out again and grow up mentally. If you cannot do this, you will not make progress and you will keep wasting your time trying tons of things but never committing to anything.

 

[imsouglysatanhelpme]

i really need a answer too i lose my interest so quickly

 

[WEASZX]

Thank you, I found everyone's perspective helpful. Just to be clear, I do get results even with my irregular consistency. I can heal minor things and use biokinesis in minor ways as well. Spirituality wasnt my primary focus, but I want it to be now. To everyone who said I was lazy, I can be regarding somethings. At times I dont care about myself, my image or impressions other people have of me. However my internal perfectionism allows me to go further than most people are capable of, at a cost of a slower initial learning speed. My dominating element is earth according to my natal chart and Im Virgo AC Uranus and Neptune.

 

[Jack]

Losing interest or becoming lazy or giving up are simply the mind looking for excuses to not commit. Perfectionism is really a fear of failure. Nothing in life us ever perfect and it can be bettered in a reasonable way.

Your brain is playing tricks on you to not commit. Because if you do and you fail, your brain will categorize yourself as a failure. You need to get rid of this mindset by regular trance hypnosis sessions coupled with real work in the real world. Failures is what defines a person. By failing you get insight into how to do it right.

Your not going to succeed at your gym routine or your meditation routine or reading or learning at the first time. It's not a one shot one kill game. You have to have discipline and mental resilience in this life.

Your emotions and feelings are lying to you. Ignore them and will it through. Couple this will baby steps and disciplined routine increments or changes and eventually your going to succeed.

If you find yourself slacking off or being lazy or wasting time,first be conscious of what's happening. Then tell yourself "I'm not a little bitch. I'm going to do this." And do it no matter how uncomfortable it might seem.

Examples of this -
1)You become conscious that your wasting time while what you really should be doing is studying.

Its uncomfortable but keep the phone in an area where you cant access it and do the studying no matter how uncomfortable. After doing it, reward yourself with happy feelings.

2)Your feeling lazy and dont want to do the workout.

You become conscious of it and barrel through.

3)You feel anxious trying to talk to someone about something.

You become conscious and barrel through.

The most important understanding about life you need to have (and be living that understanding 24/7) is that situations, emotions and feelings are transient in nature. Meaning you won't be thinking the same things or feeling the same feelings your feeling atm 5 years down the line. If your emotions are transient and don't matter, why not ignore them and use your will to get things done.

Life is a battle between your will and your emotions and the balance between them. It's a dance between Shiva and Shakti, Purusha and Prakriti. Your consciousness being Purusha, you need to do things and not let the prakriti manipulate you. Do not fear your emotions, them seem scary but its just fake threats. Your not going to die.

Remind yourself everyday when you wake up,
"I'm not a little baby anymore. I'm an adult. Im responsible for my failures and successes in my life. If I don't do this, my life is being wasted and I'm responsible for wasting my life."

You need to take responsibility. Shes not going to do it.

 

[Sundara]

Good to have some Virgo in you. Be sure not to work with elements until you get a good grip on everything and know yourself well. Having a real understanding about which elements you may have an imbalance of can prove to be difficult to determine. These personality traits can be from many different things and doesn’t have one specific cause. I think as you progress, it’ll become clear where this is coming from.

Doing the RTR’s is imperative after or during either the 40 day program or going through the beginners meditations. Be sure you know the material of joyofsatan well, and start reading through as many sermons as possible. Eventually, your interest will probably shift from phenomena like biokinesis to actually fighting for our cause when. When you fully open yourself up and see what is going on, it’ll be as natural as fighting off an illness and you won’t want to stop. Be prepared for attacks which come in many forms, from negative events to negative emotions. This can also be due to the cleaning of the soul. Don’t worry too much about anything.

 

[Karnonnos [JG]]

Very little gets done in a day. Biokinesis requires consistent meditation and raising large amounts of power. Not only that but it also requires cleansing (including daily RTR to get rid of enemy nasties), opened chakras and reinforcement.

Shorter rep Runes or AoP can be done in 15-20 minutes per day, it's not hard.