AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
I come seeking wisdom and guidance from those more experienced in the path. For years, I have used substances: mostly alcohol and weed, with the occasional dose of shrooms, as a means of relaxation, connection, power, and more often than I'd want to admit, escape. While these experiences have brought small moments of insight, and helped me at times despite how unhealthy they were, so I do accept my past, I have come to realize that they ultimately cloud my mind, drain energy, and hold me back from clarity.
I want to replace these external crutches with internal practices. I have begun practicing meditation, mostly cleaning and AoP, and some yoga. There are moments of peace, and at times I feel a certain energy stirring, but it is fleeting. What I seek is a genuine "meditation high".
This will sound extremely immature and stupid, and maybe my question doesn't deserve an answer, but what path should I take to the point where I can essentially simulate the things I obtained from my highs via meditation, without any of the side effects?
I want to feel as relaxed, euphoric, unbothered, and "vibrant" as I felt when high on weed, via meditation, with a practice that can trigger this altered state for even a couple hours after practicing the meditation.
I want to feel as powerful, confident and away from stress as I felt when drunk.
I know I should work to integrate these traits into my life and have them 24/7, but after such a long habit (which I'm glad I was able to quit without much trouble in a few weeks), my mind just thinks in terms of temporary altered states, and I honestly want those altered states as well. So much of my routine is built around feeling amazing for a few hours, then leaning back. Being super productive for a few hours, then being low. My mind is used to manic highs and lows, and now life just feels so boring, like nothing is in any way stimulating.
The advice on how to heal from this and not desire it is also welcome, but I posted this question mostly to ask for how I'd create prolonged (2-3 hour long) altered states of consciousness, such as the yin/water bomb that weed is, via meditation.
I want to replace these external crutches with internal practices. I have begun practicing meditation, mostly cleaning and AoP, and some yoga. There are moments of peace, and at times I feel a certain energy stirring, but it is fleeting. What I seek is a genuine "meditation high".
This will sound extremely immature and stupid, and maybe my question doesn't deserve an answer, but what path should I take to the point where I can essentially simulate the things I obtained from my highs via meditation, without any of the side effects?
I want to feel as relaxed, euphoric, unbothered, and "vibrant" as I felt when high on weed, via meditation, with a practice that can trigger this altered state for even a couple hours after practicing the meditation.
I want to feel as powerful, confident and away from stress as I felt when drunk.
I know I should work to integrate these traits into my life and have them 24/7, but after such a long habit (which I'm glad I was able to quit without much trouble in a few weeks), my mind just thinks in terms of temporary altered states, and I honestly want those altered states as well. So much of my routine is built around feeling amazing for a few hours, then leaning back. Being super productive for a few hours, then being low. My mind is used to manic highs and lows, and now life just feels so boring, like nothing is in any way stimulating.
The advice on how to heal from this and not desire it is also welcome, but I posted this question mostly to ask for how I'd create prolonged (2-3 hour long) altered states of consciousness, such as the yin/water bomb that weed is, via meditation.