AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
I am in a relationship with a girl we really love each other, we have shared unique and rare moments together, our love is really powerful and we plan to move in together and get married.
However, there are things that bother me about her past, such as the fact that she had an ex-boyfriend, to think that she shared good times with him in the past bothers me a lot. In addition to that it bothers me to think that the way we have sex and her facial nuances, her bedside manner, etc. she may have done it with other people bothers me a lot.
I recently found out that before her ex she had other sexual experiences about 7 years ago, some of those unfortunately I have to tell the truth curiosity was stronger than me and I spied on her cell phone going to see her old chats and saw pictures and messages that really very very bothered me. I had gotten an idea of her as very puritanical and wholesome, instead finding out that she had had experiences in the past made me jealous and it bothered me to think that she let herself go to these people. I will preface this by saying that I was a virgin before this relationship with her, despite my age.
These thoughts of mine on some days are stronger than others, and they make my relationship more placid and I close myself off a little too much, on others I don't think about it at all and go through the day without any thoughts, and on still others I convince myself that the present is what I really need and is the only important and relevant thing in our relationship.
He told me several times that he wished he had known me earlier and avoided fictitious acquaintances, that thanks to me she discovered what true love is. In short she has mentioned to me several times that she regrets her previous relationship and the past (although about the sexual experiences 7 years ago she never told me about it, I found out by spying on her phone ), in fact I think this part also bothers me, the fact that she never told me about it, I tried to broach the subject once but she was offended telling me that she felt dirty talking about it with a pure person like me and that she doesn't want to broach the subject being all a memory for her that she would like to erase.
Despite this I still have a mental discomfort about it, what can I do to move on so that I only think about the present and the future with this girl ? Are there meditations or anything else about it that I can deal with ?
I want a relationship with her that transcends human time limits, we love each other so much that the very concept of love loses meaning, our love is much stronger than the very concept of love.
In fact I really believe that if my love had not been so strong, in any other kind of relationship with another girl I would have given in to my thoughts and would have broken off the relationship immediately thinking about her past.
Instead with her this does not happen precisely because we love each other so much.
Help me please, what can I do ? What meditations and magical work could I go through to improve ?
However, there are things that bother me about her past, such as the fact that she had an ex-boyfriend, to think that she shared good times with him in the past bothers me a lot. In addition to that it bothers me to think that the way we have sex and her facial nuances, her bedside manner, etc. she may have done it with other people bothers me a lot.
I recently found out that before her ex she had other sexual experiences about 7 years ago, some of those unfortunately I have to tell the truth curiosity was stronger than me and I spied on her cell phone going to see her old chats and saw pictures and messages that really very very bothered me. I had gotten an idea of her as very puritanical and wholesome, instead finding out that she had had experiences in the past made me jealous and it bothered me to think that she let herself go to these people. I will preface this by saying that I was a virgin before this relationship with her, despite my age.
These thoughts of mine on some days are stronger than others, and they make my relationship more placid and I close myself off a little too much, on others I don't think about it at all and go through the day without any thoughts, and on still others I convince myself that the present is what I really need and is the only important and relevant thing in our relationship.
He told me several times that he wished he had known me earlier and avoided fictitious acquaintances, that thanks to me she discovered what true love is. In short she has mentioned to me several times that she regrets her previous relationship and the past (although about the sexual experiences 7 years ago she never told me about it, I found out by spying on her phone ), in fact I think this part also bothers me, the fact that she never told me about it, I tried to broach the subject once but she was offended telling me that she felt dirty talking about it with a pure person like me and that she doesn't want to broach the subject being all a memory for her that she would like to erase.
Despite this I still have a mental discomfort about it, what can I do to move on so that I only think about the present and the future with this girl ? Are there meditations or anything else about it that I can deal with ?
I want a relationship with her that transcends human time limits, we love each other so much that the very concept of love loses meaning, our love is much stronger than the very concept of love.
In fact I really believe that if my love had not been so strong, in any other kind of relationship with another girl I would have given in to my thoughts and would have broken off the relationship immediately thinking about her past.
Instead with her this does not happen precisely because we love each other so much.
Help me please, what can I do ? What meditations and magical work could I go through to improve ?
