#656 Am I bad?

[AskSatanOperator]

Hello, I recently noticed that I don't really know myself. And another thing I am particularly attracted to power, I even have the impression that my goal is to obtain power. I sometimes feel the urge to hurt or to be the bad guy, I don't know what I want deep down or at least I can't figure out if my goal is really POWER and not something else, yes I have passions, but all my passions are linked to power. When I draw I like to draw war stories by taking myself for a god who creates and destroys all my works, I am attracted to the engineer but in this field too it is to create things that will make me strong.
I try to convince myself that I am a good person but in the end I lie to myself?
I constantly have the urge to manipulate to get what I want from certain people, is it good to manipulate?

I am narcissistic, I only think of myself and I always want to be stronger than anyone, like at school I work hard to be the first, I do combat sports to be the strongest in my entourage, and I read lots of books to be the smartest.

SHOULD I accept myself as I am or does it constrain your ethics, I want to evolve but above all to make sure that what I do will not bring me down.
so I have a question what should I do or should I accept the fact that this is my REAL person and goal? Of course I manage to respect what the gods impose, I manage to refrain from doing bad things that are against the ethics of the gods.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

It goes both ways where, yes, manipulating or hurting someone is bad, but you cannot metaphorically hang yourself, either, because going overboard in that regard can cause a backlash. Similarly, doing everything for everyone else can lead to you being used or simply expending too much and becoming deficient in your own regard, again leading to resentment.

At the end of the day, though, don't praise yourself for wrong actions, but do praise yourself for good actions. Some baseline of self-acceptance is needed, but why "fuel" or "accept" the bad parts of yourself? We are to evolve and this requires some aspect of change.

Regarding purely power itself, look at it this way: A king cannot gain power without the support of his people. It is a mutual relationship, therefore the more put in, the more one should get out. Eventually you will hit a limit by what you can achieve purely by yourself, then you will have to lead or network with others, which then leads to needing actual empathy or elements of fairness.

To be blunt with you, if I learned you had manipulated me, especially if I thought you were my friend, I would feel betrayed and cut you off, either fully or partially, unless you tried to amend what happened. Of course I can be empathetic if you are trying to change, but at the end of the day, why should I give something to you that you don't wish to return in some shape or form? Further, if you were my boss, why would I work with you if I suspected that I would get fucked over somehow? Other bosses do not do that, and I would much rather devote my time to them instead.

Ethics are about upholding social structure, which benefits everyone. Therefore, it is not a constraint to power, but rather a safety net. When someone is harmed by another, society punishes them. If I steal something from you, then it is only right for me to be punished. This is upheld by everyone to ensure mutual peace, setting the stage for higher levels of social advancement, rather than constant backstabbing and sabotage. Upholding just values and ethics makes people like you more, not less. This leads to more power.

Study Venus or the Gebo rune, or do some research on how leaders can use empathy, and similar topics like this. That will help you release some fears of losing power through these actions.

 

[Ĥl·lĥæ]

Read Nietzsche
And draw your own conclusions
Become free of morality

That's if your vocation is to be a gentleman and not a beast of burden.

 

[Epiphany]

To be blunt with you, if I learned you had manipulated me, especially if I thought you were my friend, I would feel betrayed and cut you off, either fully or partially, unless you tried to amend what happened.

To be more blunt I would not associate with this person to begin with and would influence others not to get dragged into their web. Inviting people with these traits into your life never ends well. Liars, manipulators, narcissists, etc are very see through, anybody with sense would not have them around to begin with. The only good thing I see here is self awareness.

 

[Epiphany]

Read Nietzsche
And draw your own conclusions
Become free of morality

That's if your vocation is to be a gentleman and not a beast of burden.

Gentlemen have morals and ethics, what you say is nonsense.

 

[Ĥl·lĥæ]

Gentlemen have morals and ethics, what you say is nonsense.

They only had ethics.
Morality is weakness

 

[Ĥl·lĥæ]

They only had ethics.
Morality is weakness

Ethics is a code of conduct.
The code of conduct depends on itself and its context, it is not universal.
Creating your own ethics: I'm good because I know how to do this and that
Or, I have the ability to do and follow such conduct in relation to something.

Morality, on the other hand, arose from the oppressed