ı want to commit suicide

[Xerath666]

You are on the path to divinity, and that alone should make you proud and motivated to move forward. The journey is long and hard but it's really worth it. I come more or less from the same situation as you, I can guarantee you that since I woke up and dedicated myself to Satan 2 years ago and started meditating every day despite some initial errors, resolved by experimenting and thanks to the precious help of some wonderful forum members, my life has completely changed for the better.

I have acquired great self-confidence, and an immense love for life, nature, discipline, Astrology, deepening scientific subjects, I have started to professionally cultivate very particular plants (which gives me great satisfaction) and much more. You will see you are just in an altered mental state, trauma, etc, focus on cleansing and start putting curses back as soon as possible.

Keep in mind that because of the enemy, society is currently sick, then don't you keep going crazy after friends who cheat on you and girls who do the same.

HAIL SATAN FOR EVER BROTHER!

 

[Achemedai]

From my experience the thing we need to focus on to really be good mentally is bettering ourselves, in every way possible. Everyday is a chance to get better, to progress in something, to achieve something. Take more care of yourself, not only your health, but your appeareance too. Looking good in your mirror is a major switch to feel better.
Loving yourself and life comes from these things with time.
There will be days when you just feel down whatever you do and it's fine, accept it as normal and go on.

Repeat to yourself It's not over until you win.

 

[moon light]

I get back on this post as I usually have few time so I forgot to underline this point.
Self-damage is an expression of self-hate and is often done to "release tension", I mean, to discharge some emotion that would be unbearable. This is a clear sign of trauma, possible childhood abuse, and lack of self esteem. There is no need to damage yourself - listen - you own a body a mind and a soul that, thanks to Satan and the Gods, can become perfect and shining through many lifetimes of hard work. You own an amazing tool to Godhead so why should you damage it??
Traumatized and abused people often need to please someone as they have been forced to please their abuser in childhood, while childhood teachings remain in the mind are not easy to reprogram. Why do not try to shift the pleasing attitude towards Satan or your Guardian Demon? They are loving, they are caring - you will feel loved and cared if you treat them with respect. Satan loves humanity in its essence. Why don't you try to see them as you caregivers and try to please them? How? Taking care of yourself and your body. Yes, your Guardian Demon needs time and efforts to protect you, so why don't you please him/her taking care of yourself too? This is the minimum you can do for the Gods.
Do non treat you as a waste as you are NOT. Would a waste and unworthy person find the Truth on here?

You seem to be young, and your message reveals you seek attention and you want to be understood.
The Gods do understand you even before you talk to them.

You said, you want to rinse all-over. I know what this means and I acknowledged, I have been doing this for all my life without even knowing that, I have slowly changed things and changed my attitude towards life.
If you need a fresh start, do that.
Finding a new place (with new people, fresh environments, different streets, different shops, etc.), relocating, a new job, would be of great help. If something bad happened to you in a place, you will probably hate that place and local people too, as a projection of self-hate from he damage yu suffered. Look for a place you would not hate; people will not see you as you "were before" but as you "are now" - so this may help a lot while rinsing your mind. There is nothing to rinse anyway, as the DIRT is on your offenders and abusers, not on yourself as you think. Leaving much of this behind, can be helpful.

Bunlar gerçekten güzel tavsiyeler yardımınız için minnetarim

 

[moon light]

You are on the path to divinity, and that alone should make you proud and motivated to move forward. The journey is long and hard but it's really worth it. I come more or less from the same situation as you, I can guarantee you that since I woke up and dedicated myself to Satan 2 years ago and started meditating every day despite some initial errors, resolved by experimenting and thanks to the precious help of some wonderful forum members, my life has completely changed for the better.

I have acquired great self-confidence, and an immense love for life, nature, discipline, Astrology, deepening scientific subjects, I have started to professionally cultivate very particular plants (which gives me great satisfaction) and much more. You will see you are just in an altered mental state, trauma, etc, focus on cleansing and start putting curses back as soon as possible.

Keep in mind that because of the enemy, society is currently sick, then don't you keep going crazy after friends who cheat on you and girls who do the same.

HAIL SATAN FOR EVER BROTHER!

Okayyy yessss This is really good advice and I am grateful for your help

 

[Hellenic SS]

Satan loves you. The Gods love you. Your family loves you.

Bring the change you want to see in the world.

 

[Lucifigus]

I want to commit suicide
Hello, of course you'll say. Do you want to commit suicide because of adolescent adolescent issues? No, I'm a worthless individual, no one really loves me, I'm betrayed by everyone, I can't recover until my family, I'm very bad, I'm worthless, my self-confidence doesn't get better, no matter what I do, it doesn't get better, my life is a disgusting shithole so am I. I have no one, my family hates me. My lover cheated on me, my friends are constantly cheating on me, even my own brother is playing with my life, they are not small things, they are constantly slandering me, I can't stand it, no one loves me, above all, I can't love myself, I don't know how to love myself, I can't stand it anymore. I seem to have lost my mental balance. I feel terrible, terrible. Enough is enough, my life is such shit because of what I did. I hate myself. I want to rinse myself all over. The woman who raised me threw me out of her house. My own mother doesn't want me. I have no one, no one, everyone wants to upset me and hurt me, although I do not approach anyone with malicious intentions, I want to be loved, I want to be successful, I want to be an emotionless uncaring person, my only solution is to study, but my brain does not take it, it feels good when I cut my arms with a razor.

Maybe that is your karma. Try to do Returning Curses Part 1 and 2. Also try to Free your soul.

Returning Curses Part 1

Returning Curses Part 2

Freeing the Soul

I hope this will help you.

 

[Dagons pupillum]

Moon light ❤ I was in that boat of misery as well, there was even times I hated myself! And even doubted myself,. Reaching out for help. On here
Because, I wanted the truth on what to do. And I didn't want to go and get help from some Christian psychiatrist. That is why I got on here and vented. And posted all kinds of crazy things. And made threads asking for help. When all I had to do is relax. And just go talk to someone. And now I'm doing okay and much better. Plus I'm doing the 40 day challenge. And its helping me in MANY ways. And I know you will over come this Darkness !❤

Your not alone, please don’t give up life with the gods is so much better and not fulfilling. I got you if you need support, I like to think of us as a family here. Also personally you have been apart of my spiritual journey with interactions on the forums and such. Don’t let people drag you down or try to stop you. You’re worthy of life and all its mysteries.

 

[nema]

I want to commit suicide
Hello, of course you'll say. Do you want to commit suicide because of adolescent adolescent issues? No, I'm a worthless individual, no one really loves me, I'm betrayed by everyone, I can't recover until my family, I'm very bad, I'm worthless, my self-confidence doesn't get better, no matter what I do, it doesn't get better, my life is a disgusting shithole so am I. I have no one, my family hates me. My lover cheated on me, my friends are constantly cheating on me, even my own brother is playing with my life, they are not small things, they are constantly slandering me, I can't stand it, no one loves me, above all, I can't love myself, I don't know how to love myself, I can't stand it anymore. I seem to have lost my mental balance. I feel terrible, terrible. Enough is enough, my life is such shit because of what I did. I hate myself. I want to rinse myself all over. The woman who raised me threw me out of her house. My own mother doesn't want me. I have no one, no one, everyone wants to upset me and hurt me, although I do not approach anyone with malicious intentions, I want to be loved, I want to be successful, I want to be an emotionless uncaring person, my only solution is to study, but my brain does not take it, it feels good when I cut my arms with a razor.

Being surrounded by asshole does not help.. i tell you from personal experiences, sometimes the pain you experiences Is not even yours, the thing Is we can bond a lot with our family when we are Kids, and you NEED to cut the spiritual ombelical cord you have with these parasites. I don't know if we had the same experiences, but for me doing that has been the best thing that Satanism "did" for me. Clean your aura everyday and empower your chakras

 

[Impetigo]

I want to commit suicide
Hello, of course you'll say. Do you want to commit suicide because of adolescent adolescent issues? No, I'm a worthless individual, no one really loves me, I'm betrayed by everyone, I can't recover until my family, I'm very bad, I'm worthless, my self-confidence doesn't get better, no matter what I do, it doesn't get better, my life is a disgusting shithole so am I. I have no one, my family hates me. My lover cheated on me, my friends are constantly cheating on me, even my own brother is playing with my life, they are not small things, they are constantly slandering me, I can't stand it, no one loves me, above all, I can't love myself, I don't know how to love myself, I can't stand it anymore. I seem to have lost my mental balance. I feel terrible, terrible. Enough is enough, my life is such shit because of what I did. I hate myself. I want to rinse myself all over. The woman who raised me threw me out of her house. My own mother doesn't want me. I have no one, no one, everyone wants to upset me and hurt me, although I do not approach anyone with malicious intentions, I want to be loved, I want to be successful, I want to be an emotionless uncaring person, my only solution is to study, but my brain does not take it, it feels good when I cut my arms with a razor.

A stronger spirituality will help you overcome all of these things. You are very focused on the material world. Nothing these people are doing to you matters that much - unless you allow it to. This is your journey and it is mostly between you and the gods and Satan.. everything else comes second to that - social life in particular. This may be information that doesn't help you so much right now - but eventually it will.

Every human that has ever lived has considered what it would be like to "start over".

As far as love, it is hard to feel it from others if you don't have it inside of you. All the love comes around after you figure out how to love yourself and to have love deep down inside of you. It radiates from within and the better you know that energy, the more of it you will discover around you and be able to radiate outward if you so choose.

What might help is getting away from or removing all of the things around you (as best as you can) that are causing you this discomfort. Remove the external influences (temporarily), and then it should be easier for you to change and rebuild what you are feeling inside of you, and to change how you see things and the feelings that the external material world invoke in you.

Having some personal time to yourself to reflect on these things is the only way I think you can have a lot of power over them.

Hmm my mind is drawing a blank, but I know there is some useful bits of information here, if you look hard enough.

Psychology can be as vast as the universe is. For instance, you may have what are called "Wernicke commands" programmed into your subconscious, that have planted seeds in your mind for you to feel this way. There are a lot of possibilities - maybe you have a disease, parasites, are being attacked spiritually, maybe there are astrological things going on, maybe you are getting hit by too much EMF, etc, etc. We cannot know all of the components of the situation, but regardless of what the exact mathematics of your situation are, you have power over what you feel and how you think, you just may have to become aware that at certain points you relinquished it, in order to re claim your power.

Where you should begin is deep down inside of yourself. You need to find a way to start something positive growing there, and the rest will follow.. if you can find some things to nurture your spiritual/mental well being before you try this, it will probably be easier (find things that comfort you to tap into, and nourish yourself). It may be a battle you fight for a long time, or maybe you will decide some trick is being played on your mind and once you are aware, just out of spite, you will never let it happen again to you in this cosmic drama we exist in that we call "life". Sometimes a lot of a person's happiness comes from positive expectations of the future - this is another place to plant seeds, because you do reap what you sow, but sometimes we lose track of what we have planted.

Ultimately I don't blame you and I don't shame you. You are not alone, and so long as you try to fix your problem (by changing things), you will succeed. It sounds like you are becoming enveloped in strong negative energies and then losing control of your mind and your life as a result. It happens to all of us sometimes, in various ways.

I hope none of this sounds callous to you.. this is the best advice I can give, and I really hope you can, within the words written by people in this thread, find the tools you need to at least get started fixing the problem you're having. The way I see it is this: you can put bandages and warm blankets over your situation, and they will help, but there is work to be done inside of yourself that only you can do.

I already can see a ton of great information posted by others here. The discussion is vast and open ended. If you search hard enough you will find what you are looking for..

 

[Ozobeus]

I want to commit suicide
Hello, of course you'll say. Do you want to commit suicide because of adolescent adolescent issues? No, I'm a worthless individual, no one really loves me, I'm betrayed by everyone, I can't recover until my family, I'm very bad, I'm worthless, my self-confidence doesn't get better, no matter what I do, it doesn't get better, my life is a disgusting shithole so am I. I have no one, my family hates me. My lover cheated on me, my friends are constantly cheating on me, even my own brother is playing with my life, they are not small things, they are constantly slandering me, I can't stand it, no one loves me, above all, I can't love myself, I don't know how to love myself, I can't stand it anymore. I seem to have lost my mental balance. I feel terrible, terrible. Enough is enough, my life is such shit because of what I did. I hate myself. I want to rinse myself all over. The woman who raised me threw me out of her house. My own mother doesn't want me. I have no one, no one, everyone wants to upset me and hurt me, although I do not approach anyone with malicious intentions, I want to be loved, I want to be successful, I want to be an emotionless uncaring person, my only solution is to study, but my brain does not take it, it feels good when I cut my arms with a razor.

Don't commit suicide Brother! You are very worthy in the mission of the SS and of Satan.

Even though you may not feel it now, you still have a great purpose to live for. Satan chose you.

please stop cutting yourself with a razor, do the necessary meditations (I recommend using Water element and Lunar energies, all in their favorable time, in order to balance the emotional energies), read something that pleases you both psychically and spiritually and remember that we are here as a Family ready to answer your questions and talk with you.

and also remember to ask Father Satan for questions that may feel very personal. He truly is the Father we all need

 

[Yurei]

Please don't throe your life away.
It won't change anything. It will only leave more trauma on your soul, and it will empower your negative karma even more.
Sure, death my provide you with a te.porsry escape. But then you'll reincarnate and then you'll have to face all the problems all over again and they will be even worse because of the power you gave to your negative karma by taking your own life.

I would urge you to take the time to focus on resolving these problems in this life, The Joy of Satan has the answers to them, you need only clean your soul, build up your protection and work on removing negative karma through magical workings, deep cleaning, etc

 

[StoicAcorn666]

I want to commit suicide
Hello, of course you'll say. Do you want to commit suicide because of adolescent adolescent issues? No, I'm a worthless individual, no one really loves me, I'm betrayed by everyone, I can't recover until my family, I'm very bad, I'm worthless, my self-confidence doesn't get better, no matter what I do, it doesn't get better, my life is a disgusting shithole so am I. I have no one, my family hates me. My lover cheated on me, my friends are constantly cheating on me, even my own brother is playing with my life, they are not small things, they are constantly slandering me, I can't stand it, no one loves me, above all, I can't love myself, I don't know how to love myself, I can't stand it anymore. I seem to have lost my mental balance. I feel terrible, terrible. Enough is enough, my life is such shit because of what I did. I hate myself. I want to rinse myself all over. The woman who raised me threw me out of her house. My own mother doesn't want me. I have no one, no one, everyone wants to upset me and hurt me, although I do not approach anyone with malicious intentions, I want to be loved, I want to be successful, I want to be an emotionless uncaring person, my only solution is to study, but my brain does not take it, it feels good when I cut my arms with a razor.

It has been almost a year. How are you doing now? How have things improved for you?