Renita
Member
Hello everyone and hope everyone is doing well.
For the last few days (more like a week) away from home during a trip for spring break, I have begun to stray away from the path and go back into old negative habits. This is the first time this really happened to me in such an extreme and I am very worried and have been stressing over it for the past two days. I have not had access to the forums or Satan's Library and was meditating once in the morning and doing the Grand Zeus ritual before bed, yet I still seemed to be straying away from the LHP.
Since I had some time to think over some possible causes I had come to a few conclusions. Since on my break I had began to use social media much more, and there would be often xtian or Jewish posts that I would come across. Since most of the xtian posts were very soft and sensitive, it had almost made me warm up and think deeper about xianity as a whole. I rely greatly on communities to keep me stable in certain opinions and thoughts, and it seemed that alone, vulnerable to negative energy and fear I simply seemed to give in. It has been nagging at my soul for a good while since I noticed it and it is making me restless.
I am not the most positive thinking type and can get easily swayed by others. I had them started wondering if there was anything I had done that upset the God's or maybe I was not strong enough to keep going on the path and this was some sort of test of endurance and strength. Not only was I falling back into becoming soft to xtianity and even being sympathetic and caring towards xtians, but I have also gone back into thinking about SH, smoking and drinking. This not only felt wrong but also just made me feel as if I was never ment for this path.
I have never done any workings or prayers to cleanse myself fully of the Jewish and xian programming and I am wondering if that could be a cause for all of this. I am very disappointing with myself and am being very hard on myself. Does anyone have any explanations and/or solutions to help me overcome this hickup and get back on the path? Would the FRTR for myself and the shattering curses help me get over this, and are there any other methods that will help me? Thank you so much and HAIL ZEUS!!!
For the last few days (more like a week) away from home during a trip for spring break, I have begun to stray away from the path and go back into old negative habits. This is the first time this really happened to me in such an extreme and I am very worried and have been stressing over it for the past two days. I have not had access to the forums or Satan's Library and was meditating once in the morning and doing the Grand Zeus ritual before bed, yet I still seemed to be straying away from the LHP.
Since I had some time to think over some possible causes I had come to a few conclusions. Since on my break I had began to use social media much more, and there would be often xtian or Jewish posts that I would come across. Since most of the xtian posts were very soft and sensitive, it had almost made me warm up and think deeper about xianity as a whole. I rely greatly on communities to keep me stable in certain opinions and thoughts, and it seemed that alone, vulnerable to negative energy and fear I simply seemed to give in. It has been nagging at my soul for a good while since I noticed it and it is making me restless.
I am not the most positive thinking type and can get easily swayed by others. I had them started wondering if there was anything I had done that upset the God's or maybe I was not strong enough to keep going on the path and this was some sort of test of endurance and strength. Not only was I falling back into becoming soft to xtianity and even being sympathetic and caring towards xtians, but I have also gone back into thinking about SH, smoking and drinking. This not only felt wrong but also just made me feel as if I was never ment for this path.
I have never done any workings or prayers to cleanse myself fully of the Jewish and xian programming and I am wondering if that could be a cause for all of this. I am very disappointing with myself and am being very hard on myself. Does anyone have any explanations and/or solutions to help me overcome this hickup and get back on the path? Would the FRTR for myself and the shattering curses help me get over this, and are there any other methods that will help me? Thank you so much and HAIL ZEUS!!!
