Welcome messages + Advice

[Mysteries of the Gods]

Hi, I dedicated to the Path of the Gods in December and nice meet you everyone.

I started practicing consistent Meditation and chakra empowering since February and seemed to use it as Divination as well (?).
I seem to get Messages and visions this way. I even travelled during Meditation and got in danger once or twice and the Gods used that as a lesson that I must protect myself during vulnerable states.

I had a reading in February in which was told that I'm basically in a threshold in my life in which I must learn how to manage my emotions and learn to make decisions. This is beyond scary to me because I have extreme trouble managing my emotions and struggle immensely with self hatred. I'm basically afraid of myself and I can't keep calm during scary situations and I act very impulsively.
When my emotions are out of control, I completely spiral and struggle to think I'm gonna be okay and I struggle with aggressivity and even...bad thoughts.

I had three bad episodes in which I did to myself things I regret and the guy that did the reading whom I have been very friends (and even more) with ended up leaving me and I felt completely abandoned at my lowest and I hate him with all my soul. He even framed abandoning me with "for your own good you should stay away from me" (or more like *he* wants to stay away from me for his own good) and pretended not to be online and soft block me basically. I hate him. This same dynamic happened over and over with people leaving me because I vented too much and even therapists and psychiatrists invalidated me on some extent.

I did another reading with someone and she said I will survive the major shift in my life and that it is not over with him but I'm not sure. I'm completely afraid of myself and my emotions and also struggle with studying so I cannot meditate more than 1-2 hours a day to keep this in check. I'm afraid I'm in danger and I should escape (the shift is about moving away with my abusive mother after the death of my father very recently).

I have strong BPD (borderline personality disorder) tendencies and I think I cannot survive with this problem and I don't have much time to learn. I'm in despair.

 

[Blitzkreig [TG]]

Hi, I dedicated to the Path of the Gods in December and nice meet you everyone.

I started practicing consistent Meditation and chakra empowering since February and seemed to use it as Divination as well (?).
I seem to get Messages and visions this way. I even travelled during Meditation and got in danger once or twice and the Gods used that as a lesson that I must protect myself during vulnerable states.

I had a reading in February in which was told that I'm basically in a threshold in my life in which I must learn how to manage my emotions and learn to make decisions. This is beyond scary to me because I have extreme trouble managing my emotions and struggle immensely with self hatred. I'm basically afraid of myself and I can't keep calm during scary situations and I act very impulsively.
When my emotions are out of control, I completely spiral and struggle to think I'm gonna be okay and I struggle with aggressivity and even...bad thoughts.

I had three bad episodes in which I did to myself things I regret and the guy that did the reading whom I have been very friends (and even more) with ended up leaving me and I felt completely abandoned at my lowest and I hate him with all my soul. He even framed abandoning me with "for your own good you should stay away from me" (or more like *he* wants to stay away from me for his own good) and pretended not to be online and soft block me basically. I hate him. This same dynamic happened over and over with people leaving me because I vented too much and even therapists and psychiatrists invalidated me on some extent.

I did another reading with someone and she said I will survive the major shift in my life and that it is not over with him but I'm not sure. I'm completely afraid of myself and my emotions and also struggle with studying so I cannot meditate more than 1-2 hours a day to keep this in check. I'm afraid I'm in danger and I should escape (the shift is about moving away with my abusive mother after the death of my father very recently).

I have strong BPD (borderline personality disorder) tendencies and I think I cannot survive with this problem and I don't have much time to learn. I'm in despair.

We can learn to control anything, it is just the intensity of the episodes which you make you think you cannot. In reality, you can take right actions before, during, and after any emotional stress, which will help you control and manage. Done over time, and in conjunction with spiritual work, will improve and solidify your sense of safety with yourself.

To start, please read this post: https://ancient-forums.com/threads/bpd-borderline-personality-disorder-i-can’t-escape-myself.299597/#post-1133281

Outside of the above, you can study the Berkano rune and Moon, both of which pertain to our emotions and proper processing of them. In emergencies, you can chant it and affirm that is has calmed your emotions in a positive way for you.

When you feel confident in your spiritual abilities, you can attempt an emotional working, as described by HPS Lydia: https://ancient-forums.com/threads/healing-the-emotional-body-for-men-too-don’t-disregard-this.292496/

Also, you can do the rituals of Gods like Astarte and many others who pertain to the yin side of life.

 

[Mysteries of the Gods]

We can learn to control anything, it is just the intensity of the episodes which you make you think you cannot. In reality, you can take right actions before, during, and after any emotional stress, which will help you control and manage. Done over time, and in conjunction with spiritual work, will improve and solidify your sense of safety with yourself.

To start, please read this post: https://ancient-forums.com/threads/bpd-borderline-personality-disorder-i-can’t-escape-myself.299597/#post-1133281

Outside of the above, you can study the Berkano rune and Moon, both of which pertain to our emotions and proper processing of them. In emergencies, you can chant it and affirm that is has calmed your emotions in a positive way for you.

When you feel confident in your spiritual abilities, you can attempt an emotional working, as described by HPS Lydia: https://ancient-forums.com/threads/healing-the-emotional-body-for-men-too-don’t-disregard-this.292496/

Also, you can do the rituals of Gods like Astarte and many others who pertain to the yin side of life.

Thank you for the advice! I will try apply this and see how it goes, thank you for taking the time for writing this.

 

[Mysteries of the Gods]

We can learn to control anything, it is just the intensity of the episodes which you make you think you cannot. In reality, you can take right actions before, during, and after any emotional stress, which will help you control and manage. Done over time, and in conjunction with spiritual work, will improve and solidify your sense of safety with yourself.

To start, please read this post: https://ancient-forums.com/threads/bpd-borderline-personality-disorder-i-can’t-escape-myself.299597/#post-1133281

Outside of the above, you can study the Berkano rune and Moon, both of which pertain to our emotions and proper processing of them. In emergencies, you can chant it and affirm that is has calmed your emotions in a positive way for you.

When you feel confident in your spiritual abilities, you can attempt an emotional working, as described by HPS Lydia: https://ancient-forums.com/threads/healing-the-emotional-body-for-men-too-don’t-disregard-this.292496/

Also, you can do the rituals of Gods like Astarte and many others who pertain to the yin side of life.

I also seem not to really understand the Divine Messages in Meditation. I usually see pictures of things of Spiritual significance, like...last night I remember seeing a Serpent moving forming the shape of the infinity symbol (the wayside 8, you know).
A withering tree? Or it was a green tree that then loses leaves? Or maybe it's my Unconscious that made it wither, but in the beginning of my vision I think I saw a green trea with green leaves with sunny weather.
A beautiful flowing Fountain? I don't remember the material of the foundation of the fountain (maybe stone or marble but do not take my word for it) but what strikes me the most is that the water seems very clean.

I saw other things but I don't remember them right now.

Also...I know about Berkano...but Moon rune?

Care to also give a resource to the Yin side of things and the Theory about that?

Thanks in advance.