So I have read all of the JoS website, and all the links it goes to which have more info etc. I had already read Stitchen's books and was aware of the reptilians, greys, etc., all of those ideas. I've read about the Holy Grail from other sources, over-coming self-victimization, the stuff from the one HP about raising your serpent was good new info etc.
But after reading the JoS site etc., I just feel like I don't understand enough. I don't know what is meant by chacra's other than that they're spots along your body etc., energy centers or what have you. But I don't understand what they are or what that means, how they were discovered, how it was discovered to work with them, etc. I just don't "have a feel" for what they are about. I don't know how you would tell if your chacras were open or closed for example, or if they were blocked, and I don't know how you would gauge any of these things or gauge your progress changing them. Should I memorize the names of the chacras, their locations, their functions? All of the meditations on the JoS site...well it just seems like there's so many of them, how would you ever do them all on a regular basis? There's got to be something like 50 different meditations at least. How do you choose which ones are worth doing or becoming adept at? Sometimes there are instructions about spinning your chacras at 6 times the speed of light, and I just have no idea what that even means. Are you just supposed to imagine in your head balls of light "spinning"? How do you really gauge their speed? What direction do they spin? What direction should their polar axes be pointed? Are they spheres or toroidal vortexes?
I need more information about everything. Do you feel energy or just imagine it? I have asked this before and not seen an answer yet: when you make your body tingle by thinking about it, is this the energy you're supposed to work with? My knowledge level on this is too unstructured it feels like. I want to understand more of the "physics", the processes, why they occur, how they occur, where they came from, their relevance and applicability, how to quantify them, measure them, etc.
I have a pdf of the 6-month program. Should I stop trying to learn about it and just start doing? Maybe I should print that pdf out and work on it page by page? I have a voracious mind and can read and read and read, and some things I have learned a great deal from with this approach that I was able to apply in my life...just knowledge-level stuff though that doesn't really make a difference any further than understanding certain things. Like, you can understand everything about the stock market but understanding it doesn't make you rich, although it does make you smarter than others. But being smarter than others doesn't actually count for anything.
In fact at some point being too smart seems like a severe detriment, doesn't it? If you can't function like a normal person in society because you're always aware of what everyone else is missing, and no one else understands you, then what the heck can you actually do for work? Should I just find a job in retail or something, so that I don't have to interact with people on a mental level?
But there was only a few days worth of reading via JoS and internal links and I don't feel like I got enough.
Part of the problem is I just can't even imagine sitting still and trying to meditate...my mind wants to read and think and analyze and process information, and then read some more and more. I feel like the last thing I want to do is quiet my mind; rather, I want to make it MORE active and process MORE information, etc. I guess the problem is just being with yourself with yourself, rather than by yourself with your mind, you know what I mean? I love being by myself and as the hours go by when I am home alone, I get more and more happy and energized until I am bouncing off the walls and literally dancing every step around the house. Is this when I should meditate?
Should I talk to my wife about this and tell her that this is what my religion is, and that it is serious to me and that I need time alone for myself every day to practice? Or should I leave her out of it and just try to fit it in? She is mormon but I've told her about this "SS" stuff...about the alternate history and the truth about slave religion etc. After the initial shock of having to re-learn what the name "Satan" meant...because there is so much stigma around it...she seemed to be able to get it and listen, although I am not sure she was too happy about it. She might freak if I tell her I want to start practicing and show her my candles etc.
What will doing the six moth program do for me? What if I only do one month or two months? I get sent away for work a lot to other countries which screws up my schedule.
Man I just have so many questions and my head just wants to soak up whatever more of this out there that it can. I am deeply craving more info on all of it. Should I start going "internal"? Maybe new information will come to me that way?
But after reading the JoS site etc., I just feel like I don't understand enough. I don't know what is meant by chacra's other than that they're spots along your body etc., energy centers or what have you. But I don't understand what they are or what that means, how they were discovered, how it was discovered to work with them, etc. I just don't "have a feel" for what they are about. I don't know how you would tell if your chacras were open or closed for example, or if they were blocked, and I don't know how you would gauge any of these things or gauge your progress changing them. Should I memorize the names of the chacras, their locations, their functions? All of the meditations on the JoS site...well it just seems like there's so many of them, how would you ever do them all on a regular basis? There's got to be something like 50 different meditations at least. How do you choose which ones are worth doing or becoming adept at? Sometimes there are instructions about spinning your chacras at 6 times the speed of light, and I just have no idea what that even means. Are you just supposed to imagine in your head balls of light "spinning"? How do you really gauge their speed? What direction do they spin? What direction should their polar axes be pointed? Are they spheres or toroidal vortexes?
I need more information about everything. Do you feel energy or just imagine it? I have asked this before and not seen an answer yet: when you make your body tingle by thinking about it, is this the energy you're supposed to work with? My knowledge level on this is too unstructured it feels like. I want to understand more of the "physics", the processes, why they occur, how they occur, where they came from, their relevance and applicability, how to quantify them, measure them, etc.
I have a pdf of the 6-month program. Should I stop trying to learn about it and just start doing? Maybe I should print that pdf out and work on it page by page? I have a voracious mind and can read and read and read, and some things I have learned a great deal from with this approach that I was able to apply in my life...just knowledge-level stuff though that doesn't really make a difference any further than understanding certain things. Like, you can understand everything about the stock market but understanding it doesn't make you rich, although it does make you smarter than others. But being smarter than others doesn't actually count for anything.
In fact at some point being too smart seems like a severe detriment, doesn't it? If you can't function like a normal person in society because you're always aware of what everyone else is missing, and no one else understands you, then what the heck can you actually do for work? Should I just find a job in retail or something, so that I don't have to interact with people on a mental level?
But there was only a few days worth of reading via JoS and internal links and I don't feel like I got enough.
Part of the problem is I just can't even imagine sitting still and trying to meditate...my mind wants to read and think and analyze and process information, and then read some more and more. I feel like the last thing I want to do is quiet my mind; rather, I want to make it MORE active and process MORE information, etc. I guess the problem is just being with yourself with yourself, rather than by yourself with your mind, you know what I mean? I love being by myself and as the hours go by when I am home alone, I get more and more happy and energized until I am bouncing off the walls and literally dancing every step around the house. Is this when I should meditate?
Should I talk to my wife about this and tell her that this is what my religion is, and that it is serious to me and that I need time alone for myself every day to practice? Or should I leave her out of it and just try to fit it in? She is mormon but I've told her about this "SS" stuff...about the alternate history and the truth about slave religion etc. After the initial shock of having to re-learn what the name "Satan" meant...because there is so much stigma around it...she seemed to be able to get it and listen, although I am not sure she was too happy about it. She might freak if I tell her I want to start practicing and show her my candles etc.
What will doing the six moth program do for me? What if I only do one month or two months? I get sent away for work a lot to other countries which screws up my schedule.
Man I just have so many questions and my head just wants to soak up whatever more of this out there that it can. I am deeply craving more info on all of it. Should I start going "internal"? Maybe new information will come to me that way?