When does he get tired of our fucking up?

[Allison Passino]

um, look, Brethren...I'm sorry, I just need a bit of encouragement is
all. I'm very tired, so this message probably won't make much sense.
So please, just bear with me. Last week, i kept getting the very, very
strong impression that Lord/Father Satan was errevocably disappointed
in me, that he was going to leave me. He and my Guardian Daemons are
pretty much all of what keeps me going these days. I mean, of course I
love my earthly mother and father, but...they just don't get me. Not
really. But Satan does, he understands. But thehn as I say, last week
kept getting all of these damn insistent thoughts: 'Satan hates you,
you'd be doing the world a big favour if you just ended yourself.
Satan never wanted you in the first place, why would he ever want
someone as worthless as you'? Not verbatim, I'm paraphrasing, but
that's basically what the thoughts wer telling me. I've always had
really shitty self-esteem, my mother and father are partially to blame
for that, as I believe I've mentioned in previous postings. They are
really good people, and they both love me very much, but specially my
dad...he's not very good at expressing affection, so he criticizes or
sounds mad when he really isn't. But yeah...so I've never had a very
stellar self-image, and my mom and dad are not the whole problem. I
don't really know what's the matter with me in that regard. Maybe past
life shit? Or maybe I'm just broken somehow. I dunno. But anyways, I'd
gotten myself round to knowing that these stupid thoughts wer of the
enemy aliens, that Father really was not disappointed in me at least
not to that extent, I've really not been a very good disciple. He gave
me a mandate, and I've tried super hard to fulfill it, but no one
cares! How can i tell people of Satan's love for them, his wish to see
them ascended, if no one fucking listens? Father told me that it
wasn't my fault if they chose not tolisten. it's their choice. He said
I did nothing wrong, that he wasn't mad at me. I thought all was wel,
that I'd licked the enemy barrage. But now it's back again, just
today, and if anything it seems worse! I' fucking gods-damn sick of
it! Why don't they leave me the fuck alone? Why don't they go bother
the stupid fucking vapid, empty-brained xians? They're the ones who
desire to serve that piece of shit, good-for-nothing, impotent,
callous yahweh and its ilk anyways! I desire only to serve Satan/Enki!
Enki is the name of my taken father, not adonai! I want nothing from
that worthless excuse for an entity. Fucking slave-master angels and
their honeyed, silken promises. They always lie, insinuate
half-truths. But there's like a constant radio transmission in my
head, or a CD that's stuck on bloody repeat for 4 hours at a stretch.
"You're just fooling yourself Satan doesn't love you he never did,
you're worthless and you should just kill yourself. Everybody thinks
you're useless anyway'. And they really are right, I mean really. I'm
totally blind, I have no real useful skills, except for writing. But
that isn't paying any fucking bills. I have no other viable skills
well, maybe phone answering. My dad always told me i had a good phone
voice. I suppose I could do that. I've never actually held down a job
like normal people before, ever. I always just only draw SSI, that has
been my only real income. It shames me to say this, but I can't lie to
you my family. I've never done anything really, truly useful in my
life, not truly. And Father...he probably is better off without me
anyway. That as the title of this post...when does satan just throw up
his hands and say "I've had it? Grace period's over. You've had your
requisite chances. I'm through waiting for you to be an actual useful
member of my association. I'll come back to you when you're less
pathetic". I try and try...but meditation, it's always been super hard
for me, I guess due to my blindness. Visualization is a fucking bitch,
I know I've beaten that one to death over this forum, but it really
is, for me. I hate it! But I keep on trying, because I would rather
die than see Satan look at me with disappointment in those beautiful
cerulean eyes of his. I'd die for him if he asked, though i know he
never would. I feel like I"m is samurai, like from feudal times; he's
my Daimyo, and I'd do absolutely anything for him. His smile, to me,
is like the sunrise breaking upon the ocean's shore. And this feeling
is just so very, very awful...that I've disappointed him, that I have
perpetrated some egregious, totally unforgivable act against him, and
that he will never, ever forgive me. It feels like someone's stabbed
me through with a rapier through the chest. forgive me, O
Lightbringer! Be merciful unto me, Master Father! I beg, lift not thy
gaze from me, my precious one! Forsake me not i beg, O Satan! For my
heart is desolate without thy incandescent presence. O Satan, have
mercy upon my long distress!

 

[Magus Immortalis]

Hi Allison,
Whenever one is feeling down, insecure about something or many things, and/or has low self-esteem, that is when the enemy likes to insert thoughts, feelings into one's head and body. They are relentless and will stop at nothing to keep one down, making it possible for one to cry a great deal and making one feel shitty.
But they are not entirely to blame for everything.  I"ll put this as best as I can. We can be our own worst enemy. We put ourselves down more than the enemy ever could, particularly if we dwell on it continuously throughout the day, everyday, and every day turns into months, and maybe years. One has to stop this line of thinking because it's not helping you and it's giving fuel to the enemy to use against you. They love to use our weaknesses, low self-esteem, negative feelings and such against us. It's one of their most-used tactics against us spiritual Satanists. 
I know because they do this to me too. But I noticed that when I dwell on negative things, and do it continuously, the enemy just encourages it and goads me on to feeling angry, resentment and near-rage.
But on the flip side, when I am advancing in some way, or making efforts to better my life, the enemy tries (usually unsuccessfully) to bring me down. They want to keep us down when we are doing well or advancing further.
Reading through your post, I think you are too hard on yourself. You are NOT broken. Stop playing the victim, you are NOT a victim, you are a child of Satan! He is your Father and Creator! Stand tall and proud, and know you are one of his!
Perhaps you are disappointed in yourself, and project that onto Satan, thinking he is disappointed in you. I won't speak for Satan, but I believe and know that if you are making the best efforts to empower yourself, your life, keep your promises to him and seek a strong, loving, trusting relationship with him, I don't think he would be disappointed. He sees our hearts, our efforts, and knows our thoughts and feelings. 
The enemy thought-forms, grey ETs and  sometimes enemy Nordics DO "bother" the xians. They encourage them in xianity, mislead them, and put up little "miracles" (like minor healing or putting physical manna in bibles at the church, which I saw one time on a Youtube video) to keep them enslaved to the program. Keeping them helpless and dependent on prayer, their priests and pastors, and the whole xian program. They are truly lost, until they wake up and seek Satan and the truth. 
It sounds like you are thinking these mean, unkind thoughts and then taping them to what YOU THINK Satan is saying to you, or what you imagine he would say, using your own thoughts and words. 
Never in my whole time as a spiritual Satanist has Satan or my Guardians said mean, unkind or cruel things to me. Those words:
""I've had it? Grace period's over. You've had your requisite chances. I'm through waiting for you to be an actual useful member of my association. I'll come back to you when you're less pathetic".
Do you know what that sounds like? How mean and cruel those words are? Would you say that to another brother or sister in Satan? No? Then why would you say it to yourself, imagining that Satan would "throw up his hands" and say that? 
I once read that HP Hooded Cobra wrote, (to paraphrase) :  "For every negative thought you have, think five positive ones" or something along those lines. It's really good advice.
Be kind to yourself. Think more realistic, positive thoughts. Stop starting the trail of negativity in your mind and words and following that trail for days, months, years. You can stop them now. It's your choice. It takes great effort, it's not easy, but it starts and ends with you. The enemy is just on the sideline, observing. 
Don't be your own worst enemy. Satan is loving, kind, compassionate, understanding. He sees and knows your love for him. Remember that.
Hail Satan!

On Tuesday, July 3, 2018, 1:10:15 a.m. EDT, Allison Passino apocalypseofjon@... [JoyofSatan666] <[email protected] wrote:

  um, look, Brethren...I'm sorry, I just need a bit of encouragement is
all. I'm very tired, so this message probably won't make much sense.
So please, just bear with me. Last week, i kept getting the very, very
strong impression that Lord/Father Satan was errevocably disappointed
in me, that he was going to leave me. He and my Guardian Daemons are
pretty much all of what keeps me going these days. I mean, of course I
love my earthly mother and father, but...they just don't get me. Not
really. But Satan does, he understands. But thehn as I say, last week
kept getting all of these damn insistent thoughts: 'Satan hates you,
you'd be doing the world a big favour if you just ended yourself.
Satan never wanted you in the first place, why would he ever want
someone as worthless as you'? Not verbatim, I'm paraphrasing, but
that's basically what the thoughts wer telling me. I've always had
really shitty self-esteem, my mother and father are partially to blame
for that, as I believe I've mentioned in previous postings. They are
really good people, and they both love me very much, but specially my
dad...he's not very good at expressing affection, so he criticizes or
sounds mad when he really isn't. But yeah...so I've never had a very
stellar self-image, and my mom and dad are not the whole problem. I
don't really know what's the matter with me in that regard. Maybe past
life shit? Or maybe I'm just broken somehow. I dunno. But anyways, I'd
gotten myself round to knowing that these stupid thoughts wer of the
enemy aliens, that Father really was not disappointed in me at least
not to that extent, I've really not been a very good disciple. He gave
me a mandate, and I've tried super hard to fulfill it, but no one
cares! How can i tell people of Satan's love for them, his wish to see
them ascended, if no one fucking listens? Father told me that it
wasn't my fault if they chose not tolisten. it's their choice. He said
I did nothing wrong, that he wasn't mad at me. I thought all was wel,
that I'd licked the enemy barrage. But now it's back again, just
today, and if anything it seems worse! I' fucking gods-damn sick of
it! Why don't they leave me the fuck alone? Why don't they go bother
the stupid fucking vapid, empty-brained xians? They're the ones who
desire to serve that piece of shit, good-for-nothing, impotent,
callous yahweh and its ilk anyways! I desire only to serve Satan/Enki!
Enki is the name of my taken father, not adonai! I want nothing from
that worthless excuse for an entity. Fucking slave-master angels and
their honeyed, silken promises. They always lie, insinuate
half-truths. But there's like a constant radio transmission in my
head, or a CD that's stuck on bloody repeat for 4 hours at a stretch.
"You're just fooling yourself Satan doesn't love you he never did,
you're worthless and you should just kill yourself. Everybody thinks
you're useless anyway'. And they really are right, I mean really. I'm
totally blind, I have no real useful skills, except for writing. But
that isn't paying any fucking bills. I have no other viable skills
well, maybe phone answering. My dad always told me i had a good phone
voice. I suppose I could do that. I've never actually held down a job
like normal people before, ever. I always just only draw SSI, that has
been my only real income. It shames me to say this, but I can't lie to
you my family. I've never done anything really, truly useful in my
life, not truly. And Father...he probably is better off without me
anyway. That as the title of this post...when does satan just throw up
his hands and say "I've had it? Grace period's over. You've had your
requisite chances. I'm through waiting for you to be an actual useful
member of my association. I'll come back to you when you're less
pathetic". I try and try...but meditation, it's always been super hard
for me, I guess due to my blindness. Visualization is a fucking bitch,
I know I've beaten that one to death over this forum, but it really
is, for me. I hate it! But I keep on trying, because I would rather
die than see Satan look at me with disappointment in those beautiful
cerulean eyes of his. I'd die for him if he asked, though i know he
never would. I feel like I"m is samurai, like from feudal times; he's
my Daimyo, and I'd do absolutely anything for him. His smile, to me,
is like the sunrise breaking upon the ocean's shore. And this feeling
is just so very, very awful...that I've disappointed him, that I have
perpetrated some egregious, totally unforgivable act against him, and
that he will never, ever forgive me. It feels like someone's stabbed
me through with a rapier through the chest. forgive me, O
Lightbringer! Be merciful unto me, Master Father! I beg, lift not thy
gaze from me, my precious one! Forsake me not i beg, O Satan! For my
heart is desolate without thy incandescent presence. O Satan, have
mercy upon my long distress!

 

[fasoolery]

I would recommend you give up any and all religious followings, and look for happiness in all that surrounds you - it never judges and you are already part and parcel with it.  You are even made of the same stuff.

 

[Lady May]

I'm personally not in the understanding that he 'gets tired of our fucking up'. I cannot claim to know his thoughts or actions, but I know I have failed many, many times, but each time I decided to start again, I felt his warmth. The God's know us better than we know ourselves, and if you were truly out to defame Satan, then he would know this. Also, I personally love your responses to out family members. They warm my heart and give me hope. I know I've caught myself thinking many times, wishing I could be as strong as you, or Lydia, or the HP's. Maybe my post won't mean much to you, I'm not much more than a shadow, but the loss of your posts would sadden me, and probably many others. Stay strong, and fight on.
Hail Satan.

 

[korteylistowe]

"Why don't they go bother
the stupid fucking vapid, empty-brained xians? They're the ones who
desire to serve that piece of shit, good-for-nothing, impotent,
callous yahweh and its ilk anyways! "

You answered your own question. Enemy knows that they're already their slaves and pose no threat to them, so they just ignore them.
While you on the other hand are a warrior of Satan and fight for Him. You're no slave and they hate that. They don't want you to reach immortality and become  a perfect being just like Satan and the Gods.
From what I've read, enemy focuses on your ambition to impress Satan and make Him proud of you and twist it around, making it seem like you're not doing enough, aren't good for Him or that He hates you. None of those things are true. Satan loves you, don't let anyone, especially the enemy tell you otherwise.
Enemy will always focus on your weaknesses(in your case low self-esteem) and fears. They're trying to give you an impression that you're not worthy of Satan and His love. Don't let them. That's a xtian mentality, feeling like you're not worthy, that you must suffer and all other pathetic crap.
It's important to know that Satan never gives up on his people. He  has been fighting for us, our salvation and freedom for thousands of years. He will never abandon you, okay? He never abandoned anyone, people choose  to abandon Him. They regret their decision.
What's important is that you always clean and empower your aura at least twice a day(morning and before going to sleep), do Hatha and Kundalini yoga and do RTRs. Many of RTRs actually remove curses from ourselfs.
As for your blindness it can definitely be cured. Remember, nothing is impossible with Father Satan on your team .
When you feel you're ready you should talk to Satan or your GD about your blindness, they will give you advice on what you should do.
I do know that Magnum Opus heals our bodies from any physical imperfections, but Magnum Opus takes a long time so you should definitely try doing something about it sooner.
Hey, if you have a good "phone voice", you should try getting a job that compliments that. Many jobs like that can be done from home too.
We're really similar in terms of our devotion to Father Satan. I would die for Him if need be, I'm not afraid of death. But we both know that Satan doesn't want that. He want's us to become Gods. Which is exactly what we're going to become.
Now come here, *hugs*.

 

[thisisafalsealias]

You can have low self esteem from something like not being good enough to complete your intended goals... but don't worry about that, just plan your life and be good enough for your goals. Meaning: don't let others dictate you.
If you are doing RTRs you are clearly good enough for Satan and good enough for Satanism. If that's what you want to do with your life do it but he cannot force you to choose Him. Only the enemy can force you away from Satan if you are not strong enough, so please reward yourself for being strong enough to be here with the last of our kind.

 

[Anti GoatFuckerV2]

Not to lie but this might have been happening to me too until I found out after a long time that the enemy has been trolling me like that.

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

On Tue, Jul 3, 2018 at 1:10 PM, Allison Passino [email protected] [JoyofSatan666]<[email protected] wrote:   um, look, Brethren...I'm sorry, I just need a bit of encouragement is
all. I'm very tired, so this message probably won't make much sense.
So please, just bear with me. Last week, i kept getting the very, very
strong impression that Lord/Father Satan was errevocably disappointed
in me, that he was going to leave me. He and my Guardian Daemons are
pretty much all of what keeps me going these days. I mean, of course I
love my earthly mother and father, but...they just don't get me. Not
really. But Satan does, he understands. But thehn as I say, last week
kept getting all of these damn insistent thoughts: 'Satan hates you,
you'd be doing the world a big favour if you just ended yourself.
Satan never wanted you in the first place, why would he ever want
someone as worthless as you'? Not verbatim, I'm paraphrasing, but
that's basically what the thoughts wer telling me. I've always had
really shitty self-esteem, my mother and father are partially to blame
for that, as I believe I've mentioned in previous postings. They are
really good people, and they both love me very much, but specially my
dad...he's not very good at expressing affection, so he criticizes or
sounds mad when he really isn't. But yeah...so I've never had a very
stellar self-image, and my mom and dad are not the whole problem. I
don't really know what's the matter with me in that regard. Maybe past
life shit? Or maybe I'm just broken somehow. I dunno. But anyways, I'd
gotten myself round to knowing that these stupid thoughts wer of the
enemy aliens, that Father really was not disappointed in me at least
not to that extent, I've really not been a very good disciple. He gave
me a mandate, and I've tried super hard to fulfill it, but no one
cares! How can i tell people of Satan's love for them, his wish to see
them ascended, if no one fucking listens? Father told me that it
wasn't my fault if they chose not tolisten. it's their choice. He said
I did nothing wrong, that he wasn't mad at me. I thought all was wel,
that I'd licked the enemy barrage. But now it's back again, just
today, and if anything it seems worse! I' fucking gods-damn sick of
it! Why don't they leave me the fuck alone? Why don't they go bother
the stupid fucking vapid, empty-brained xians? They're the ones who
desire to serve that piece of shit, good-for-nothing, impotent,
callous yahweh and its ilk anyways! I desire only to serve Satan/Enki!
Enki is the name of my taken father, not adonai! I want nothing from
that worthless excuse for an entity. Fucking slave-master angels and
their honeyed, silken promises. They always lie, insinuate
half-truths. But there's like a constant radio transmission in my
head, or a CD that's stuck on bloody repeat for 4 hours at a stretch.
"You're just fooling yourself Satan doesn't love you he never did,
you're worthless and you should just kill yourself. Everybody thinks
you're useless anyway'. And they really are right, I mean really. I'm
totally blind, I have no real useful skills, except for writing. But
that isn't paying any fucking bills. I have no other viable skills
well, maybe phone answering. My dad always told me i had a good phone
voice. I suppose I could do that. I've never actually held down a job
like normal people before, ever. I always just only draw SSI, that has
been my only real income. It shames me to say this, but I can't lie to
you my family. I've never done anything really, truly useful in my
life, not truly. And Father...he probably is better off without me
anyway. That as the title of this post...when does satan just throw up
his hands and say "I've had it? Grace period's over. You've had your
requisite chances. I'm through waiting for you to be an actual useful
member of my association. I'll come back to you when you're less
pathetic". I try and try...but meditation, it's always been super hard
for me, I guess due to my blindness. Visualization is a fucking bitch,
I know I've beaten that one to death over this forum, but it really
is, for me. I hate it! But I keep on trying, because I would rather
die than see Satan look at me with disappointment in those beautiful
cerulean eyes of his. I'd die for him if he asked, though i know he
never would. I feel like I"m is samurai, like from feudal times; he's
my Daimyo, and I'd do absolutely anything for him. His smile, to me,
is like the sunrise breaking upon the ocean's shore. And this feeling
is just so very, very awful...that I've disappointed him, that I have
perpetrated some egregious, totally unforgivable act against him, and
that he will never, ever forgive me. It feels like someone's stabbed
me through with a rapier through the chest. forgive me, O
Lightbringer! Be merciful unto me, Master Father! I beg, lift not thy
gaze from me, my precious one! Forsake me not i beg, O Satan! For my
heart is desolate without thy incandescent presence. O Satan, have
mercy upon my long distress!

 

[thisisafalsealias]

Well we would all get more done if each and every one of us were born as kings and queens but what are you supposed to do? It's not that type of story, Satanists are typically rags to riches throughout history.

Just fuck everybody else who cares. If that's not what you need to hear right now, well, it's what I need to hear often times so maybe me saying it out loud will in turn help yourself. I'm sure Satan personally likes you and is smiling down on you when you aren't so critical of yourself. Otherwise this type of thing makes any everyone sad.

 

[aldrick.strickland88]

Hey Allison. Would you message me privately? Theres something I wanna talk to you about.

Im at Aldrick.Strickland88@...

 

[[email protected]]

You think you have it bad? Try being harassed by reptilians very often every day of your life. I'm also living with jews pretending to be my family who my Guardian had to tell me in the first place because of the extreme lengths their rotten father has got to cover it up with Black Magick.

And that's not all.

 

[Allison Passino]

I will never give up! I will never back down! I wil always serve HIM!
I ain't going anywhere. Satan/Enki is infinite in his mercy! He told
me today, in no uncertain terms, that I am HIS. That he would never
leave nor forsake me. That's all I needed to hear. Thanks all for your
support! Love and blessings of Satan upon all of you!

On 7/3/18, rpbarbati@... [JoyofSatan666]
<[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:

I would recommend you give up any and all religious followings, and look for
happiness in all that surrounds you - it never judges and you are already
part and parcel with it. You are even made of the same stuff.

 

[Yii Pipur]

@Allison
You wrote somewhere about having problems with visualization. I wanted to respond earlier but I'm working my ass off at my job. Anyway.... I think you should try and focus on feeling the chakras first as visualization can actually be distracting. Focus deep into them and then feel the warmth of the sun in or on them. That sunny warmth is a very beautiful NRG to me, I can't really describe it. Visuals will come in time and will be easier too with the third eye open. Also I think you should peruse the link below. I would love to hear if my idea made a difference. Good luck Sister ☺
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... g_Out.html




Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

On Fri, 6 Jul 2018 at 23:13, Allison Passino apocalypseofjon@... [JoyofSatan666]<[email protected] wrote:   I will never give up! I will never back down! I wil always serve HIM!
I ain't going anywhere.. Satan/Enki is infinite in his mercy! He told
me today, in no uncertain terms, that I am HIS. That he would never
leave nor forsake me. That's all I needed to hear. Thanks all for your
support! Love and blessings of Satan upon all of you!

On 7/3/18, rpbarbati@... [JoyofSatan666]
<[email protected] wrote:
I would recommend you give up any and all religious followings, and look for
happiness in all that surrounds you - it never judges and you are already
part and parcel with it. You are even made of the same stuff.

 

[Yii Pipur]

*In the same way that you would feel the warmth of the sun on your face or like sun bathing, but instead of feeling it on your face or body, focus on feeling that sunny warmth on your soul or chakras. Great substitute.

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

On Sat, 7 Jul 2018 at 17:50, Yii Pipur<yiipipur@... wrote: @Allison
You wrote somewhere about having problems with visualization. I wanted to respond earlier but I'm working my ass off at my job. Anyway.... I think you should try and focus on feeling the chakras first as visualization can actually be distracting. Focus deep into them and then feel the warmth of the sun in or on them. That sunny warmth is a very beautiful NRG to me, I can't really describe it. Visuals will come in time and will be easier too with the third eye open. Also I think you should peruse the link below. I would love to hear if my idea made a difference. Good luck Sister ☺
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... g_Out.html




Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

On Fri, 6 Jul 2018 at 23:13, Allison Passino apocalypseofjon@... [JoyofSatan666]<[email protected] wrote:   I will never give up! I will never back down! I wil always serve HIM!
I ain't going anywhere. Satan/Enki is infinite in his mercy! He told
me today, in no uncertain terms, that I am HIS. That he would never
leave nor forsake me. That's all I needed to hear. Thanks all for your
support! Love and blessings of Satan upon all of you!

On 7/3/18, rpbarbati@... [JoyofSatan666]
<[email protected] wrote:
I would recommend you give up any and all religious followings, and look for
happiness in all that surrounds you - it never judges and you are already
part and parcel with it. You are even made of the same stuff.

 

[alisha jayda1]

You have been attacked by enemy angelic beings, don't listen to them, Father Enki loves his children no matter what and he will never leave you or forsake you, so ignore all those voices telling you that you Are no good, they are enemy attacks, clean your aura and surround yourself in gold light and blue, and ask Father Enki Satya to remove all these enemy attacks that have attached themselves into you

Glory to Father Enki Satyam Satan

Get Outlook for Android

From: [email protected] <[email protected] on behalf of Anti GoatFuckerV2 av666v2@... [JoyofSatan666] <[email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, July 4, 2018 7:54:41 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] When does he get tired of our fucking up?     Not to lie but this might have been happening to me too until I found out after a long time that the enemy has been trolling me like that.

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

On Tue, Jul 3, 2018 at 1:10 PM, Allison Passino [email protected] [JoyofSatan666] <[email protected] wrote:   um, look, Brethren...I'm sorry, I just need a bit of encouragement is
all. I'm very tired, so this message probably won't make much sense.
So please, just bear with me. Last week, i kept getting the very, very
strong impression that Lord/Father Satan was errevocably disappointed
in me, that he was going to leave me. He and my Guardian Daemons are
pretty much all of what keeps me going these days.. I mean, of course I
love my earthly mother and father, but...they just don't get me. Not
really. But Satan does, he understands. But thehn as I say, last week
kept getting all of these damn insistent thoughts: 'Satan hates you,
you'd be doing the world a big favour if you just ended yourself.
Satan never wanted you in the first place, why would he ever want
someone as worthless as you'? Not verbatim, I'm paraphrasing, but
that's basically what the thoughts wer telling me. I've always had
really shitty self-esteem, my mother and father are partially to blame
for that, as I believe I've mentioned in previous postings. They are
really good people, and they both love me very much, but specially my
dad...he's not very good at expressing affection, so he criticizes or
sounds mad when he really isn't. But yeah...so I've never had a very
stellar self-image, and my mom and dad are not the whole problem. I
don't really know what's the matter with me in that regard. Maybe past
life shit? Or maybe I'm just broken somehow. I dunno. But anyways, I'd
gotten myself round to knowing that these stupid thoughts wer of the
enemy aliens, that Father really was not disappointed in me at least
not to that extent, I've really not been a very good disciple. He gave
me a mandate, and I've tried super hard to fulfill it, but no one
cares! How can i tell people of Satan's love for them, his wish to see
them ascended, if no one fucking listens? Father told me that it
wasn't my fault if they chose not tolisten. it's their choice. He said
I did nothing wrong, that he wasn't mad at me. I thought all was wel,
that I'd licked the enemy barrage. But now it's back again, just
today, and if anything it seems worse! I' fucking gods-damn sick of
it! Why don't they leave me the fuck alone? Why don't they go bother
the stupid fucking vapid, empty-brained xians? They're the ones who
desire to serve that piece of shit, good-for-nothing, impotent,
callous yahweh and its ilk anyways! I desire only to serve Satan/Enki!
Enki is the name of my taken father, not adonai! I want nothing from
that worthless excuse for an entity. Fucking slave-master angels and
their honeyed, silken promises. They always lie, insinuate
half-truths. But there's like a constant radio transmission in my
head, or a CD that's stuck on bloody repeat for 4 hours at a stretch.
"You're just fooling yourself Satan doesn't love you he never did,
you're worthless and you should just kill yourself. Everybody thinks
you're useless anyway'. And they really are right, I mean really. I'm
totally blind, I have no real useful skills, except for writing. But
that isn't paying any fucking bills. I have no other viable skills
well, maybe phone answering. My dad always told me i had a good phone
voice. I suppose I could do that. I've never actually held down a job
like normal people before, ever. I always just only draw SSI, that has
been my only real income. It shames me to say this, but I can't lie to
you my family. I've never done anything really, truly useful in my
life, not truly. And Father...he probably is better off without me
anyway. That as the title of this post...when does satan just throw up
his hands and say "I've had it? Grace period's over. You've had your
requisite chances. I'm through waiting for you to be an actual useful
member of my association. I'll come back to you when you're less
pathetic". I try and try...but meditation, it's always been super hard
for me, I guess due to my blindness. Visualization is a fucking bitch,
I know I've beaten that one to death over this forum, but it really
is, for me. I hate it! But I keep on trying, because I would rather
die than see Satan look at me with disappointment in those beautiful
cerulean eyes of his. I'd die for him if he asked, though i know he
never would. I feel like I"m is samurai, like from feudal times; he's
my Daimyo, and I'd do absolutely anything for him. His smile, to me,
is like the sunrise breaking upon the ocean's shore. And this feeling
is just so very, very awful....that I've disappointed him, that I have
perpetrated some egregious, totally unforgivable act against him, and
that he will never, ever forgive me. It feels like someone's stabbed
me through with a rapier through the chest. forgive me, O
Lightbringer! Be merciful unto me, Master Father! I beg, lift not thy
gaze from me, my precious one! Forsake me not i beg, O Satan! For my
heart is desolate without thy incandescent presence. O Satan, have
mercy upon my long distress!

 

[Paul Grantham]

Hey sorry if I’m bugging you. I’m new to the JOS chat. I was checking my emails and noticed your email. I found what you typed out was very inspiring.
I dedicated myself in September of 2018. I also noticed in your email that you spoke to Lucifer. I am getting help by someone in the chat with meditation, evolving, etc.. If possible I would like to know how you are able to speak to Lucifer.
I envoked. Meditated with without Sigil, gave permission to enter my dreams, called out to help but nothing. I would like to speak to him but I was also told that eventually I will be able to but need to evolve and become more in tune .
Thanks for reading, PEAcE
From: [email protected] <[email protected] on behalf of Allison Passino apocalypseofjon@... [JoyofSatan666] <[email protected]
Sent: July 6, 2018 4:09:06 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: When does he get tired of our fucking up?     I will never give up! I will never back down! I wil always serve HIM!
I ain't going anywhere. Satan/Enki is infinite in his mercy! He told
me today, in no uncertain terms, that I am HIS. That he would never
leave nor forsake me. That's all I needed to hear. Thanks all for your
support! Love and blessings of Satan upon all of you!

On 7/3/18, rpbarbati@... [JoyofSatan666]
<[email protected] wrote:

I would recommend you give up any and all religious followings, and look for
happiness in all that surrounds you - it never judges and you are already
part and parcel with it. You are even made of the same stuff.

 

[Magus Immortalis]

Hi Paul,
you can speak to Satan-Lucifer whenever you like. He hears all of us. He hears everything.
But you have to work on your astral hearing, sight and do power meditation to become more sensitive to energy. Be patient with yourself. This takes time and we all come to Satanism and Satan at different levels of awareness and psychic openness.
You can find power meditations here:Satanic Meditation

[/TD][/TR][/TABLE][/TD][/TR][/TABLE]


Hail Satan!

On Thursday, July 12, 2018, 6:55:29 a.m. EDT, Paul Grantham paulgrantham45@... [JoyofSatan666] <[email protected] wrote:

  Hey sorry if I’m bugging you. I’m new to the JOS chat. I was checking my emails and noticed your email. I found what you typed out was very inspiring.
I dedicated myself in September of 2018. I also noticed in your email that you spoke to Lucifer. I am getting help by someone in the chat with meditation, evolving, etc.. If possible I would like to know how you are able to speak to Lucifer.
I envoked. Meditated with without Sigil, gave permission to enter my dreams, called out to help but nothing. I would like to speak to him but I was also told that eventually I will be able to but need to evolve and become more in tune .
Thanks for reading, PEAcE
From: [email protected] <[email protected] on behalf of Allison Passino apocalypseofjon@... [JoyofSatan666] <[email protected]
Sent: July 6, 2018 4:09:06 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: When does he get tired of our fucking up?     I will never give up! I will never back down! I wil always serve HIM!
I ain't going anywhere. Satan/Enki is infinite in his mercy! He told
me today, in no uncertain terms, that I am HIS. That he would never
leave nor forsake me. That's all I needed to hear. Thanks all for your
support! Love and blessings of Satan upon all of you!

On 7/3/18, rpbarbati@... [JoyofSatan666]
<[email protected] wrote:
I would recommend you give up any and all religious followings, and look for
happiness in all that surrounds you - it never judges and you are already
part and parcel with it. You are even made of the same stuff.

 

[thisisafalsealias]

Make sure if you're talking to someone they dont ask for your info or ask you to pay or try to mess with you or whatever. Yes you need to evolve and get to a point where the higher levels first can be accessed with psychic ability, and secondly to a point where it is not going to over stress you in life. So if you're 15 or something don't expect any intense visions the very next day after dedication unless you're very stable.

 

[Paul Grantham]

Awesome, thanks for the reply. Take Care, Hail Satan.
I say: Lead Lucifer Lead
PEAcE
From: [email protected] <[email protected] on behalf of Paul Grantham paulgrantham45@... [JoyofSatan666] <[email protected]
Sent: July 9, 2018 11:55:42 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: When does he get tired of our fucking up?     Hey sorry if I’m bugging you. I’m new to the JOS chat. I was checking my emails and noticed your email. I found what you typed out was very inspiring.
I dedicated myself in September of 2018. I also noticed in your email that you spoke to Lucifer. I am getting help by someone in the chat with meditation, evolving, etc... If possible I would like to know how you are able to speak to Lucifer.
I envoked. Meditated with without Sigil, gave permission to enter my dreams, called out to help but nothing. I would like to speak to him but I was also told that eventually I will be able to but need to evolve and become more in tune .
Thanks for reading, PEAcE
From: [email protected] <[email protected] on behalf of Allison Passino apocalypseofjon@... [JoyofSatan666] <[email protected]
Sent: July 6, 2018 4:09:06 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: When does he get tired of our fucking up?     I will never give up! I will never back down! I wil always serve HIM!
I ain't going anywhere. Satan/Enki is infinite in his mercy! He told
me today, in no uncertain terms, that I am HIS. That he would never
leave nor forsake me. That's all I needed to hear. Thanks all for your
support! Love and blessings of Satan upon all of you!

On 7/3/18, rpbarbati@... [JoyofSatan666]
<[email protected] wrote:

I would recommend you give up any and all religious followings, and look for
happiness in all that surrounds you - it never judges and you are already
part and parcel with it. You are even made of the same stuff.

 

[Mikel Batsard]

I got through your message to the point where you started receiving the voices, "SATAN doesn't/never wanted you" was a big fat LIE from the opposition. You can tune out from all that noise, it takes consistent practice. Our enemy instills self-doubt and even loathing into Satan's strongest warriors,.If you're going to do (/already did) battle against the great enemies of humanity, make sure to be well established in your own protection, first.

On Tue, Jul 3, 2018, 12:11 AM Allison Passino apocalypseofjon@... [JoyofSatan666] <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:

  um, look, Brethren...I'm sorry, I just need a bit of encouragement is
all. I'm very tired, so this message probably won't make much sense.
So please, just bear with me. Last week, i kept getting the very, very
strong impression that Lord/Father Satan was errevocably disappointed
in me, that he was going to leave me. He and my Guardian Daemons are
pretty much all of what keeps me going these days. I mean, of course I
love my earthly mother and father, but...they just don't get me. Not
really. But Satan does, he understands. But thehn as I say, last week
kept getting all of these damn insistent thoughts: 'Satan hates you,
you'd be doing the world a big favour if you just ended yourself.
Satan never wanted you in the first place, why would he ever want
someone as worthless as you'? Not verbatim, I'm paraphrasing, but
that's basically what the thoughts wer telling me. I've always had
really shitty self-esteem, my mother and father are partially to blame
for that, as I believe I've mentioned in previous postings. They are
really good people, and they both love me very much, but specially my
dad...he's not very good at expressing affection, so he criticizes or
sounds mad when he really isn't. But yeah...so I've never had a very
stellar self-image, and my mom and dad are not the whole problem. I
don't really know what's the matter with me in that regard. Maybe past
life shit? Or maybe I'm just broken somehow. I dunno. But anyways, I'd
gotten myself round to knowing that these stupid thoughts wer of the
enemy aliens, that Father really was not disappointed in me at least
not to that extent, I've really not been a very good disciple. He gave
me a mandate, and I've tried super hard to fulfill it, but no one
cares! How can i tell people of Satan's love for them, his wish to see
them ascended, if no one fucking listens? Father told me that it
wasn't my fault if they chose not tolisten. it's their choice. He said
I did nothing wrong, that he wasn't mad at me. I thought all was wel,
that I'd licked the enemy barrage. But now it's back again, just
today, and if anything it seems worse! I' fucking gods-damn sick of
it! Why don't they leave me the fuck alone? Why don't they go bother
the stupid fucking vapid, empty-brained xians? They're the ones who
desire to serve that piece of shit, good-for-nothing, impotent,
callous yahweh and its ilk anyways! I desire only to serve Satan/Enki!
Enki is the name of my taken father, not adonai! I want nothing from
that worthless excuse for an entity. Fucking slave-master angels and
their honeyed, silken promises. They always lie, insinuate
half-truths. But there's like a constant radio transmission in my
head, or a CD that's stuck on bloody repeat for 4 hours at a stretch.
"You're just fooling yourself Satan doesn't love you he never did,
you're worthless and you should just kill yourself. Everybody thinks
you're useless anyway'. And they really are right, I mean really. I'm
totally blind, I have no real useful skills, except for writing.. But
that isn't paying any fucking bills. I have no other viable skills
well, maybe phone answering. My dad always told me i had a good phone
voice. I suppose I could do that. I've never actually held down a job
like normal people before, ever. I always just only draw SSI, that has
been my only real income. It shames me to say this, but I can't lie to
you my family. I've never done anything really, truly useful in my
life, not truly. And Father...he probably is better off without me
anyway. That as the title of this post...when does satan just throw up
his hands and say "I've had it? Grace period's over. You've had your
requisite chances. I'm through waiting for you to be an actual useful
member of my association. I'll come back to you when you're less
pathetic". I try and try...but meditation, it's always been super hard
for me, I guess due to my blindness. Visualization is a fucking bitch,
I know I've beaten that one to death over this forum, but it really
is, for me. I hate it! But I keep on trying, because I would rather
die than see Satan look at me with disappointment in those beautiful
cerulean eyes of his. I'd die for him if he asked, though i know he
never would. I feel like I"m is samurai, like from feudal times; he's
my Daimyo, and I'd do absolutely anything for him. His smile, to me,
is like the sunrise breaking upon the ocean's shore. And this feeling
is just so very, very awful...that I've disappointed him, that I have
perpetrated some egregious, totally unforgivable act against him, and
that he will never, ever forgive me. It feels like someone's stabbed
me through with a rapier through the chest. forgive me, O
Lightbringer! Be merciful unto me, Master Father! I beg, lift not thy
gaze from me, my precious one! Forsake me not i beg, O Satan! For my
heart is desolate without thy incandescent presence. O Satan, have
mercy upon my long distress!

 

[[email protected]]

If i have learned anything in my life it is this never give up you give up you for real have truly failed and that is exactly what the enemy wants perhaps you pose as a threat to them and on top of the subject my advice is if you have any ties with any other religion could be past life could be current but if cutting ties don't help and sounds like to me you are truly dedicated here so i would not really worry about that to much i mean getting a little upset is one thing but to that extant no that is not satan or his demon's that is someone whishing you to give up satan doesn't give up unless there was a siersly good reason for it he does not judge on past lifes though it is good idea to know you're past lifes and burn any memories that relates to other religions and toxic people.