666WithGratitude
New member
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2023
- Messages
- 4
I’ve made some mistakes over the years. Fell down so many times but each and every time I’ve gotten back up. The problem is I haven’t made any real progress, and due to my own (now admitted) stupidity, and miscommunications with the gods and Satan. I heard from Satan not too long ago that I will never be saved. This obviously shocked me back into reality, and I am ready to make some real progress… I just regret that it took all this to make this decision.
I did have a bad habit of being negative, and due to miscommunications with the gods and possibly enemy interference, things weren’t great between me and Satan.. but still I NEVER left him, I NEVER turned to the enemy or any BS like that!!! I did hear from him that he left ME though.. because I “failed him” and that he considers me “dead”. I also spoken to him last week, and did hear that he does indeed hate me. And this absolutely breaks me..
Now, since the 20th I’ve started a working to be consistent with meditation and to deny laziness. I started with 216 vibrations of Nauthiz and Sowilo, and saying the affirmation 40 times. This admittedly might be burning me out so I reduced the number to 111 instead of 216. I also plant to start a working to further empower my astral communication senses today to clearly communicate with Satan and the Gods and to tell the difference between them and the enemy. I’ve also never backed off warfare!!! I joined in the recent RTR schedule and many many before that! and I do around 3-4 final RTRs every day (since the 20th) Previously I only did one a day, have I have also donated this month and plan to keep doing so! I’ve also been sending Satan RAUM energy every day after working on my hand chakras.
Yesterday I was talking to a demon to apologize to him for my previous behavior, and I told him that even if I’m never to be saved, I’m still gonna meditate, do warfare, send Satan energy, donate..etc even if I never benefit from it. And he said “you’re not helping” I don’t know what he meant by this… he just said “sorry.” (He wasn’t mean about it, just matter of fact) Is everything I’m doing really in vain?? I can’t understand why Satan is permanently punishing me when I’m ACTIVELY working on being better, I’m actively working on myself to do better. If I was truly a failure wouldn’t I be dead?? Wouldn’t I have stopped fighting and given up?? I know 5 days isn’t enough to show Satan I’m serious either. But I am going to stay consistent this time…
My question is what do I do now?? Out of the many times I’ve failed, why is it too late now?? I just don’t know how to cope with being given up on when I haven’t given up on myself. I’ll never know the glory of Godhead like you all will… but so long as I’m alive I still want to fight the enemy and be useful.. even if I’m only a mere ally that will only be judged by my mistakes and failures.
I did have a bad habit of being negative, and due to miscommunications with the gods and possibly enemy interference, things weren’t great between me and Satan.. but still I NEVER left him, I NEVER turned to the enemy or any BS like that!!! I did hear from him that he left ME though.. because I “failed him” and that he considers me “dead”. I also spoken to him last week, and did hear that he does indeed hate me. And this absolutely breaks me..
Now, since the 20th I’ve started a working to be consistent with meditation and to deny laziness. I started with 216 vibrations of Nauthiz and Sowilo, and saying the affirmation 40 times. This admittedly might be burning me out so I reduced the number to 111 instead of 216. I also plant to start a working to further empower my astral communication senses today to clearly communicate with Satan and the Gods and to tell the difference between them and the enemy. I’ve also never backed off warfare!!! I joined in the recent RTR schedule and many many before that! and I do around 3-4 final RTRs every day (since the 20th) Previously I only did one a day, have I have also donated this month and plan to keep doing so! I’ve also been sending Satan RAUM energy every day after working on my hand chakras.
Yesterday I was talking to a demon to apologize to him for my previous behavior, and I told him that even if I’m never to be saved, I’m still gonna meditate, do warfare, send Satan energy, donate..etc even if I never benefit from it. And he said “you’re not helping” I don’t know what he meant by this… he just said “sorry.” (He wasn’t mean about it, just matter of fact) Is everything I’m doing really in vain?? I can’t understand why Satan is permanently punishing me when I’m ACTIVELY working on being better, I’m actively working on myself to do better. If I was truly a failure wouldn’t I be dead?? Wouldn’t I have stopped fighting and given up?? I know 5 days isn’t enough to show Satan I’m serious either. But I am going to stay consistent this time…
My question is what do I do now?? Out of the many times I’ve failed, why is it too late now?? I just don’t know how to cope with being given up on when I haven’t given up on myself. I’ll never know the glory of Godhead like you all will… but so long as I’m alive I still want to fight the enemy and be useful.. even if I’m only a mere ally that will only be judged by my mistakes and failures.