Hi there, I know I don't post on here too often (although I do greatly enjoy reading posts) but let me tell you something, I had a back injury and f*cked up surroundings when I was called by father. Don't fear a trance! Start by going into a light trace. Due to the back issue I would both meditate and sleep flat on my back so no one was able to tell. Being brought back from a light to medium trance isn't that horrific of an experience - at least for me, so what if you get a headache. You don't even need a trance to clean your aura. Just do little things when you can. 10 minutes is all I started out with, eventually I was able to ignore my surroundings entirely (I'm now out of those surroundings). Father and the demons understand your situation; they aren't going to randomly show up and compromise you (unless you are alreadly in some sort of dire situation and that is the only option to save you). Father and the demons will come to you in other ways (like for me it was dreams and still is actually). The people you are living with can't read your dreams. Unless you write them down dreams stay inside your head (if you do keep a journal of some sorts keep it locked up safely and then lock it some more and hide it). Eventually I was able to mediate for longer and without taking painkillers. After that it was only a baby step to no more painkillers entirely. I was able to do yoga for the first time, it felt amazing! I look forward to not refilling the rest of the back medications. Once you actaully heal the injury you will need to strengthen your back (this is where I am now). So, look at the healing mediations and find the best one for you (the injury I had wasn't as bad as your's). If you aren't up to healing yet, get there taking baby steps at first but soon you'll be mediating and might even have trouble remembering what the problem was in the first place. Put on headphones and music (personally I listen to Burzum while mediating) to drown out those distractions. You may not want to think about it now but there will come a time when you don't need msuic to ignore what's around you.
If your family say your cursed them when they stub a toe or something stupid laugh it off. Joke with them about it. It will eventually lighten them up. It won't happen over night but they'll start laughing too.
As for your rage (a lot of people seem to be feeling rage, sometimes unwarrented, lately) try to channel it into something constuctive. I know it is harder than it sounds but it is very possible (or the murder rate wouldve considerably increased over the past week or so lol). If you can't use that energy to harm an enemy then draw a picture, write a book, doing something positive with something like rage is the best answer. Keep photos of your kid everywhere you can. Don't focus on how much you despise your ex's family, they can be dealt with later when you can do it calmly (if it won't negatively impact upon your child), but focus on how much you love him. Think of good times you'll share with him, yes really, you will have good times together - I know that seems distant now but you are a Satanist and can make it possible for yourself, Father and your GD will tell you how.
Got too many negatives swimming around in that brain of yours that you can't focus on amything else? Pick up a fictional book! Don't watch a film or switch on the telly. Pick up a fiction book. Read it. It helps. Then once you've read whatever fictional book you fancy. Calmly and distantly focus on one negative thought at a time. Only one. Turn it around. Did someone hurt you on purpose? Curse them, problem solved. Oh boo-hoo, woe is me, blah blah. Why is woe you? (One thought at a time) and change how you see yourself. You miss your kid? Focus on seeing him again. Your family are being annoyingly negative, do you really care? It is their lives, let them attract negativity into their own lives, not your's. I don't know your entire life story, so you'll have to put your own examples here.
Hope that helped. Good luck to you.
Hail Satan------------------
From: eremoslukos8@...
Sender: [email protected] Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2011 21:05:13 +0000
To: <
[email protected]ReplyTo: [email protected] Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Uncontrollable rage...
Well, yes, I do get periodical moments of privacy, the thing is I fear getting too much into anything involving trance, making communication w/ any god an impossibility as at any given second I could have something dropped on the floor directly over my head- purposely. My sister will pull something, or even if someone stubs their toe I'm blamed for "cursing" or sending a demon. With a house full of paranoid, clumsy pill-heads, and an alcoholic, all xians, and the fact that even before coming to Father, my entire life I've been the "scape-goat"-well you can imagine what I go through!Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T<hr>
From: "Shannon Outlaw" <soutlaw92@...
Sender: [email protected] Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:41:37 CDT
To: <
[email protected]ReplyTo: [email protected] Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Uncontrollable rage...
im sry to hear. so you dont have time for anything, not even meditation at all?
-----Original Message-----
Date: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 4:15:47 pm
To: [url=mailto:
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[email protected][/url]
From: eremoslukos8@...
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Uncontrollable rage...
August '09 I "fell off" a bridge breaking my back, I'm paraplegic and in constant, excruciating pain. I have always seemed to be a magnet to negativity, am surrounded by it 24/7. It was the cause of 2 1/2 years of incarceration, there's never an opportunity do the simplest of meditations, there are 7 other people here wich include both parents, sister and her s kids
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
-----Original Message-----
From: "Shannon Outlaw" <soutlaw92@...
Sender: [url=mailto:
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[email protected][/url]
Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:04:15
To: <[url=mailto:
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[email protected][/url]
Reply-To: [url=mailto:
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Subject: RE: [JoyofSatan666] Uncontrollable rage...
ok what do you mean physical condition? why dont you ask father for peace of mind and furcas the daemon. breathe an relax!
-----Original Message-----
Date: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 3:48:42 pm
To: [url=mailto:
[email protected]]
[email protected][/url]
From: eremoslukos8@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Uncontrollable rage...
Greetings: for some time now I
r to put it another way,I never did good with rules,and questioned everything.
