Trapped and lost In the Void - need advice?

[ShadowLopunny]

Hi All

I am not feeling well at all and completely broken and dead inside 24/7, I've been at this for over 10 years but stopped for 2 years with every day life and other stuff been going on, barely been able to keep up with rtrs every day and feel contently endless drained every day and night nonstop feel need to sleep for over 9 or more hours a day, mediation's every time in the past i did them did not feel or hear any thing depending on what was needed to do even yoga was the same thing as well?

It extremely frustrating and disheartening to be in this for 10 years and feels like got nothing out of this for all my efforts to show, i contently feel as complete failure had to deal with so many near death situations between being born to a motorcycle accident to a stroke after i left work that day and other things i rather not talk about, and i keep wondering why the hell am i not dead already or lost my eyesight and hearing completely and be completely useless to this world and Spiritual SS, Since know from the beginning going to go blind and deaf soon or later in life just a matter of when and where.

i'ved done so many rituals and such for when we had them on here when posted and such ect. including Bastet and Seshat ritual and trying to do as much as possible with out frying my self ect. when able too but every time i did them felt completely nothing? and left me wondering if i did it right or not? feeling like i have been completely abandon and left to rot in this void of nothingness. feel like nothing i do to try to improve to raise my Kundalini or developed other things ect. to better my self and not have to work so dam hard in the next life, but it feel like that will never happen i will just die physical then spirtual and be erased from existence in this life never to be rembered at all.

Yes i know every thing can't be done in one life time and it not a race when doing personal development of one self, even when i want to get to know the gods and goddess and my guardian ect. to be close ect. i am trapped in this void with no way out and feeling as consent annoyance ect. that nothing i do would even have the gods and goddess see i even existe at all, have no right to ask for advice or help or any thing for that matter of them, since i have nothing to give them, i feel like ived been tosses aside as some useless toy when a child is done playing with it abandoned in some forgotten corner of the closet.

It seem so hopeless if and when we win this war and every one else will be celebrating with the god and goddess, while all i see is death and misery of void of the abyss to no end, ived never once seen,hear or any thing from the gods and goddess, if they are as parent's and teachers i don't know what to think any more?

curled up into a fuzzy ball with loped ears rapped around thy self scared. sorry if some of this is a rehash or such ect.

The Cabbit in the void

 

[UDDTHU]

Can you summarize the work you have done in these ten years or remember to see if it was sufficient and correct or not? I have seen people who have worked intelligently and principledly within two years and been able to really achieve a higher level of power. Can you communicate with your guardian demon and ask for guidance? As far as I know the Guardian Demon guides you and asks nothing but your progress. During these ten years, have you been able to talk to the gods and let them guide you in this direction? You don't need to give something really impossible to the gods in return for their help, as it is always said that respect and being on this path and fighting the enemy is very important to the gods and you can give this to the gods and receive their help.
Ask yourself these questions and try to think intelligently. Most of your limitations are just made up in your mind and are not real. My advice is not to waste even a single day and continue to progress in this direction. Study the website and the content on the website and try to communicate with the gods, And your guardian demon.
Good luck brother .

 

[ShadowLopunny]

Hi Uddthu

The past 10 years i have started with 40 day program but can't seem to find it then foundation meditation with opening/closing the chakras, with Chakra Alignment, Directing Energy, Energy Meditation, EZ Chakra Spin, Complete Chakra Meditation, for a few months then thought i was good but i guest was not then when and did Void Meditation, Opening and Meditating on Your Clairaudience/Clairvoyance but only did it a few times never had any success with so stopped. did a few Yogic Breathing Basics like sun and moon, breath of fire for a 1 year but stopped since was not feeling any thing.

Then did try Ball of Light Meditation,Meditation from Satan, BUT nothing came of it only did this 2x Star of Astaroth/Mer Ka Ba Meditation then stopped was getting to tired and burn out. while for the whole time from start to present current done Final RTR + Killing Tetragrammaton RTR +Shattering Jewish Soul Protection RTR with Returning Curses Part 1 & 2 with Aura Of Protection and Clean Your Aura with yoga but for the last 2 years have not done it with no space to do it in my apartment and my own body gotten so weak with age being 43 now.

As for communication with guardian demon and the gods not been able to talk/hear them for the whole 10 years with having bad case of Tinnitus and don't have a single clue who my guardian demon is. i am beyond completely fusterated and so tired i have just given up asking for help from the gods since can't differated my own thoughts to some one as powerful as them it just to confusing any more. as for the enemy i hate them to my core every day and night.

hope that helps a litle bit since got to go to work in a few hours had tiny bit of sleep like 1-3 hours for 3 days.

any way hope to hear from your self or any one else when able too.

Thank you

​

 

[UDDTHU]

Hi Uddthu

The past 10 years i have started with 40 day program but can't seem to find it then foundation meditation with opening/closing the chakras, with Chakra Alignment, Directing Energy, Energy Meditation, EZ Chakra Spin, Complete Chakra Meditation, for a few months then thought i was good but i guest was not then when and did Void Meditation, Opening and Meditating on Your Clairaudience/Clairvoyance but only did it a few times never had any success with so stopped. did a few Yogic Breathing Basics like sun and moon, breath of fire for a 1 year but stopped since was not feeling any thing.

Then did try Ball of Light Meditation,Meditation from Satan, BUT nothing came of it only did this 2x Star of Astaroth/Mer Ka Ba Meditation then stopped was getting to tired and burn out. while for the whole time from start to present current done Final RTR + Killing Tetragrammaton RTR +Shattering Jewish Soul Protection RTR with Returning Curses Part 1 & 2 with Aura Of Protection and Clean Your Aura with yoga but for the last 2 years have not done it with no space to do it in my apartment and my own body gotten so weak with age being 43 now.

As for communication with guardian demon and the gods not been able to talk/hear them for the whole 10 years with having bad case of Tinnitus and don't have a single clue who my guardian demon is. i am beyond completely fusterated and so tired i have just given up asking for help from the gods since can't differated my own thoughts to some one as powerful as them it just to confusing any more. as for the enemy i hate them to my core every day and night.

hope that helps a litle bit since got to go to work in a few hours had tiny bit of sleep like 1-3 hours for 3 days.

any way hope to hear from your self or any one else when able too.

Thank you

​

You shouldn't think, "If a meditation doesn't work for me, then I'll give it up." This is completely wrong. Many of us did not experience any special feeling at the very beginning of meditation. Every soul is different and every meditation experience is different. About the 40-day meditation program, I must say that it is true that it is called "the 40-day program" but it is a lifelong path. Many of us started the 6 month meditation program after completing the 40 day program. which is very useful for clairvoyance, astral senses and seeing and hearing gods. Seeing and hearing the gods does not require strong ears or eyes like an eagle. If you don't have enough time for meditation during the day and you go to work, it is better to arrange a proper management and prioritization for your life. To achieve all your tasks and duties. If you have enough progress and commitment in this path, you can ask the gods for help in most cases and they will help you and they will not ask you for impossible things. They can help and guide you a lot in healing your body and improving your life. Answers to many of your questions are available on the main Joy of Satan website and library. I recommend you to read them.

 

[ShadowLopunny]

hey every one

i have read and reread to make sure what was said to understand will get a system back in place to get back into meditation routine and will try to ask the gods for assistance when can and same with the guardian too. thank you for the help and all, just had to much piled on me for every day life and such to the point that was having a break down and with my jobs giving so little hours to work it getting frustrating since i am close to just quitting since only getting 3h for 1 day and the other 3h for 2 days, and having a tough time looking for work that would pay and give way better hours ratio for me before i hoping to go back to school for a course next year and completely change careers i hope?

again thank you

 

[Visitor]

Hi Uddthu

The past 10 years i have started with 40 day program but can't seem to find it then foundation meditation with opening/closing the chakras, with Chakra Alignment, Directing Energy, Energy Meditation, EZ Chakra Spin, Complete Chakra Meditation, for a few months then thought i was good but i guest was not then when and did Void Meditation, Opening and Meditating on Your Clairaudience/Clairvoyance but only did it a few times never had any success with so stopped. did a few Yogic Breathing Basics like sun and moon, breath of fire for a 1 year but stopped since was not feeling any thing.

Then did try Ball of Light Meditation,Meditation from Satan, BUT nothing came of it only did this 2x Star of Astaroth/Mer Ka Ba Meditation then stopped was getting to tired and burn out. while for the whole time from start to present current done Final RTR + Killing Tetragrammaton RTR +Shattering Jewish Soul Protection RTR with Returning Curses Part 1 & 2 with Aura Of Protection and Clean Your Aura with yoga but for the last 2 years have not done it with no space to do it in my apartment and my own body gotten so weak with age being 43 now.

As for communication with guardian demon and the gods not been able to talk/hear them for the whole 10 years with having bad case of Tinnitus and don't have a single clue who my guardian demon is. i am beyond completely fusterated and so tired i have just given up asking for help from the gods since can't differated my own thoughts to some one as powerful as them it just to confusing any more. as for the enemy i hate them to my core every day and night.

hope that helps a litle bit since got to go to work in a few hours had tiny bit of sleep like 1-3 hours for 3 days.

any way hope to hear from your self or any one else when able too.

Thank you

​

Let me see if I understand your situation, you meditate and then you don't make any progress and you stop?

From what you've said, the problem is in how you're doing it, as well as meditating you need to study too, what I mean by that is for example

Aspects of the Soul
There are several different aspects that make up the human soul. The aura, the light body, the chakras, the etherial double, [the ghost that takes on the image of the physical body], and the intelligence/consciousness.

The goal is to transform the soul, so you must be neglecting the consciousness part, with that said, you can try to take a step back and start slowly, what I think is most important now is that you try to be aware of what you are trying to achieve, so I recommend 2 meditations, or the fundamental meditation, focus only on it so you can begin to understand how energy works, or meditation in the void, with meditation in the void you won't be focusing on energy but on controlling your thoughts, and you can already have the benefits of them such as practicing meditation in the void daily and then going to do something and always bringing your thoughts to here or now.

What's the point of doing intermediate meditation if you haven't even mastered the basics?

 

[ShadowLopunny]

To visitor

My life been completely hectic for the last year and when Cabbitcide into a blender, been trying to concentrate on getting better employment but the money is completely dead where i work right now for a whole year, as for being aware of what trying to achieve i just try to do any thing but keep failing so much and was getting completely frustrated and with getting older and older i am running out of time and i am not sure were i stand on any of this any more having no confidence or self esteem just don't think nothing will work any more after trying for so long? again i know it not a race but if i can't achieve any level of spiritually be for i am dead then i don't know any more?

Thank you

 

[Ĥl·lĥæ]

Falun Dafa Exercises

Falun Gong exercise instruction video and music

en.falundafa.org

If meditation doesn't work, don't wear yourself out over it.
Do something simple and quick and focus on something you enjoy afterwards.

Cleanse your soul

Your situation as described must be very complicated.
Meditate with the aim of a better rebirth

That's what I would do

Falun dafa without soul cleansing is useless and causes problems.
Clean very well

 

[Ĥl·lĥæ]

Some people really don't feel any energy at all.
It can be really confusing.
I, for one, can say that I'm in the same situation as you were 8 years ago.

However, I've already created a plan
If nothing works out in the time I've set, I'll certainly do what I really want and like.

I would completely destroy any expectation of meditation and live in peace, and free

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

I read many very good advice from other SS on here so I will only add a few points, based on my experience.
You seem suffering from negative energy backlash or so, bringing accidents or setbacks in your life, right?
I would just analyze people around you, I mean your close relationships, to find out if you are clashing with too many people all together. Heavy xians, commies, relatives or parents or co-workers who are at odds with your spirituality, I mean, very programmed by the enemy and also have some sort of power on you.
Reducing the number of people at odds with you, cutting them off from your life and cutting ties to your chakras (for negative people I mean) may help to boost your energies and also be more focused on your meditations.

 

[ShadowLopunny]

Thank you every one that left me a message.

to summarize i am going to take it slow again and do little things to slowly build back up and such. not going to quit just was completely frustrated for a long time and was dealing with a lot of things in life like losing a few family members the most recent was my grandfather while for my furbaby's dogs that i tried to take care of 3 of then died from year 1 to 3.5 was my last dog that i lost then had my husky for 5 years and family just got rid of her on me and threaten my self and my husky that they were going to kill us both if i don't get rid of her while they where able to keep their 4 dogs while i had no place to go, heck could not even leave since they sold my car that i payed for in full in cash and to make matter worst they took financial hostage of my money and denied me any thing while they handle it but i could not touch my own money being on disability program.

Family were completely toxic and insane and did not care what happen to me in the slightest and just whine and bitched when every time i had something wrong with me like had skin cancer then deal got it fixed and am ok for now hopefully, or asking for help trying to go through my stuff fro m that i could save and seriously go through it all and figure out what i really wanted to keep or get rid of, but no i was toss around like a rag doll when was trying to go through the trailer to try to sort through all my stuff and family did not like that just wanted for me to leave it alone and telling me 9-10 of the law since it in their trailer and on their property every thing was their to own not me - own nothing and be happy-

while i have been hit and punched in the face and mouth for speaking out and such even when i try to help them with the chores they would just snap at me and lose their shit and clearly and openly told me i am not wanted there or should have been alive period right to my face because my grandmother back in 2018 had cancer it was my fault every thing was always my fault, while being strangled 7 times when moved to my family place after my grandmother passed away.

100% of the time the whole family but my grandfather/ other grandmother thought i was completely useless and to dumb and stuiped to do any thing in life. i still talk to them but only by text or in a pitch a phone call but thsat is rare. for relationship i am in with demoness been the only one's that seem to trying to keep me safe and happy, sicne she saw a good lot of things go on with them dealing with me. i even talked about her like she was here on earth living some place and they Threatened to kill her even was not allow to have any freinds, life ect. while telling me that my wife was a peice of shit,loser, gold digger ect. which really piss her off.

right now i have my own aparment and a job ect. working for 5 days a week for 5 hours then for the last year was cut down to 1day for 3 hours which is extreamly hard on me. well i just got to belive in my self more to get better ect.

so that is the nuts and bolts of the story so far.

 

[Visitor]

To visitor

My life been completely hectic for the last year and when Cabbitcide into a blender, been trying to concentrate on getting better employment but the money is completely dead where i work right now for a whole year, as for being aware of what trying to achieve i just try to do any thing but keep failing so much and was getting completely frustrated and with getting older and older i am running out of time and i am not sure were i stand on any of this any more having no confidence or self esteem just don't think nothing will work any more after trying for so long? again i know it not a race but if i can't achieve any level of spiritually be for i am dead then i don't know any more?

Thank you

Ok, I think I'm understanding better now

So what I said above is more valid, in this case studying what is in Jos could be the key for you to solve these problems, you say "... just don't think nothing will work any more after trying for so long?" but there is on the site itself to check about it: Most Workings are not Just to 'One Shot Deal' (in the meditations) and Overcoming Obstacles (Migick and Witchcraft)

Thank you every one that left me a message.

to summarize i am going to take it slow again and do little things to slowly build back up and such. not going to quit just was completely frustrated for a long time and was dealing with a lot of things in life like losing a few family members the most recent was my grandfather while for my furbaby's dogs that i tried to take care of 3 of then died from year 1 to 3.5 was my last dog that i lost then had my husky for 5 years and family just got rid of her on me and threaten my self and my husky that they were going to kill us both if i don't get rid of her while they where able to keep their 4 dogs while i had no place to go, heck could not even leave since they sold my car that i payed for in full in cash and to make matter worst they took financial hostage of my money and denied me any thing while they handle it but i could not touch my own money being on disability program.

Family were completely toxic and insane and did not care what happen to me in the slightest and just whine and bitched when every time i had something wrong with me like had skin cancer then deal got it fixed and am ok for now hopefully, or asking for help trying to go through my stuff fro m that i could save and seriously go through it all and figure out what i really wanted to keep or get rid of, but no i was toss around like a rag doll when was trying to go through the trailer to try to sort through all my stuff and family did not like that just wanted for me to leave it alone and telling me 9-10 of the law since it in their trailer and on their property every thing was their to own not me - own nothing and be happy-

while i have been hit and punched in the face and mouth for speaking out and such even when i try to help them with the chores they would just snap at me and lose their shit and clearly and openly told me i am not wanted there or should have been alive period right to my face because my grandmother back in 2018 had cancer it was my fault every thing was always my fault, while being strangled 7 times when moved to my family place after my grandmother passed away.

100% of the time the whole family but my grandfather/ other grandmother thought i was completely useless and to dumb and stuiped to do any thing in life. i still talk to them but only by text or in a pitch a phone call but thsat is rare. for relationship i am in with demoness been the only one's that seem to trying to keep me safe and happy, sicne she saw a good lot of things go on with them dealing with me. i even talked about her like she was here on earth living some place and they Threatened to kill her even was not allow to have any freinds, life ect. while telling me that my wife was a peice of shit,loser, gold digger ect. which really piss her off.

right now i have my own aparment and a job ect. working for 5 days a week for 5 hours then for the last year was cut down to 1day for 3 hours which is extreamly hard on me. well i just got to belive in my self more to get better ect.

so that is the nuts and bolts of the story so far.

I further reinforce what I said, there is enough information on the site even to deal with it, we satanist do not accept abuse, if someone tries to hurt or we cause harm, we retaliate, and there is information to fight against that

Now, who should have a priority to solve the most important problem now, is you, is the money the problem? So look for a spell to attract money, Jos possesses, I recommend reading Magick 1001: The Three Steps of Witchcraft for that

 

[Visitor]

Some people really don't feel any energy at all.
It can be really confusing.
I, for one, can say that I'm in the same situation as you were 8 years ago.

However, I've already created a plan
If nothing works out in the time I've set, I'll certainly do what I really want and like.

I would completely destroy any expectation of meditation and live in peace, and free

I don't remember now where I read, but I'm sure someone has already said or wrote somewhere about the energy, and sincerely for me "Some people really don't feel any energy at all." It's the kind of thing I read that irritates me the most

Yes some people do not feel energy, but this is for beginners, I do not remember where I read, but as everyone is individual others have better progress than others but definitely after a while they can feel the energy

I took a week myself so I can feel the energy and this is individual

Another thing is about "I would completely destroy any expectation of meditation and live in peace, and free" I didn't get it right, what are you wanting to say here? Because my expectation would be to get my powers by the strength of my soul for my goals, so if I can't get what I want to simply give up from them? I think this stupid, because if something is not working then is because I do not understand what I am doing or doing wrong or anything else, I really do not understand what you meant here

 

[Ĥl·lĥæ]

I don't remember now where I read, but I'm sure someone has already said or wrote somewhere ab

Hahahah "it took me a week to feel energized"
As if that were a long time

I simply wouldn't care about powers and stuff anymore, and would just meditate for the sheer pleasure of it.

 

[Ĥl·lĥæ]

I don't remember no

I wouldn't care about results, I wouldn't have any expectations.
And I wouldn't want any other kind of skill

The only noticeable thing about meditation is the increase in awareness and observation of the subtle, which is satisfying and healthy for the mind anyway.

But wanting powers is such a thing, I'd just give up.