Today I think I had my first and hopefully last mental breakdown.

[Demonic Tech]

I wrote a lot just to missclick and close the tab, and now here I am writing this again, but in notepad this time, just to be sure.

I can't live anymore like this. If I wasn't so scared of death, didn't have Satan by my side, didn't have a war to win, who knows what I could have possibly done by now.
I have a new phobia, the kind of phobia that ruins your life. I have always been scared of heights and suffered from vertigo, but this reached it's almost-maximum level.
Usually you are scared of heights when you don't want to fall down, not up. And yes, now I'm also scared of falling up. This sounds pretty stupid right? It is stupid. Even I know it.
This is like agoraphobia but way worse. I panic the moment I step out of a closed place. Without a ceiling, I'm just terrified by falling in the sky, being so tall, so infinite.

Endless.

It's like fearing that gravity gets reversed.
I tried to avoid talking about it here because I tried to pretend that it wasn't real, but it didn't work. Today I had one of the worst episodes of this phobia.
I was carrying some stuff from a warehouse to another, i was there, right under the sky, I started panicking in front of my colleague. I had to walk near a fence to get a little of relief.
I am so much ashamed of this phobia... But I had to explain him why I was walking near a wall like a crackhead. Luckily he's not an asshole and didn't laugh at me.
When I reached my car (running, in order to stay the least time possible under the sky) to go home, I started crying, because this is not life, this is a nightmare.
This is a mental prison, and I am both the prisoner and the jailer. Especially since the lockdowns started, I'd enjoy so much to breath fresh air, to go out for a walk, I even started to work out, but now this limits me so much. I am not free of living like a decent human being, and I could not be angrier, because there is physically no one to limit my freedom.
It's just my mind that got fucked up years ago, after something happened to me (and it's only my fault), I kept developing phobias and forms of anxiety.
By the way, this is not the first time that my "normal" fear of heights gets upgraded. But I'll talk about that in a minute.

Ok... This is going to be long both to write and read, I hope someone of you will have the time and patience to do it. I feel like that if I don't explain everything since the beginning, this post won't be useful.

It happened 3 years and a month ago (circa). Let's say that probably a month ago was the 3rd anniversary of my mental problems. Oh, that's probably why this new phobia blew up in this
period. Good to know. Anyway, I was 17 at that time (I know that I should not give too much personal info, but I don't see any other way to tell this). My birthday is also very near.
Maybe it's better to not tell when it is, I don't know, if I post too much personal info maybe the post won't be accepted in order to protect me, and I need this post being posted and answered a lot, really really a lot... I'm starting to go off-topic. My bad.

I was saying, 3 years ago I literally ruined my life, at least my life between now and that period, and there is a 99.99% chance that it was all thanks to that wonderful substance that rappers enjoy so much and make their teenage listeners want to smoke. Marijuana dude! The drug that doesn't harm you! Goy, smoke weed everyday and ACAB!
I was a pothead too. I smoked almost twice a week. I didn't have any anxiety nor anything, I was a little happy NPC with it's meaningless problems.
Fuck... That day I wish I didn't smoke. Not that much at least. I wonder how my life would have went if that damn day I did not smoke.
That day I got a panic attack after smoking, which is something not even that rare, it can happen to everyone who smokes and most times it just goes away after a while and nothing happens.
I already got a couple of after-weed panic attacks before that, and they weren't such a big deal.
But this time, after I managed to get out of it... It just... kept returning. Usually, when you panic from weed, you have tachycardia. Congratulations Mr. Young Faith, you are now officially diagnosed with imaginary tachycardia. That's what happened to me. I started to feel tachycardia randomly, even the day after, it just didn't stop, I really thought I had it, until a heart doctor saw me and visited me. He told me that my heart was perfect. The hits in my chest that I felt were some systole, nothing harmful at all he said.
And now I know it's true, because after that visit I never got any particular problems with the "imaginary tachycardia".
But little did I know that my mind was already fucked up, and soon enough, it provided me a cool new thing to fear. A brain cancer phobia. Every headache I had, panic.
Everytime my head was spinning a bit, panic. That's why I did a cranial nerve exam or stuff like that. Pretty relaxing as exam. And now, the brain cancer phobia was "cured".
Since that day, my anxiety learned to not focus on one thing, but to just come and fuck me up every once in a while.
Meeting my girlfriend helped me a bit.

I forgot to say that the brain doctor gave me a little dose of xanax, really a little dose, luckily. It kinda helped, I guess? I did feel better, but I also didn't want to take it
anymore. I didn't trust that stuff.
When I stopped, I kept feeling almost good. The problem in the following years were mostly random panic attacks whenever I got some weird symptom of anything. It also happened recently,
when I caught shingles, AKA herpes zoster, what a pain it was. That's a disease that usually old people gets, or people under chemio.
This says a lot about my weakness.

So even if I got better, I still had my panic attacks every once in a while.
Then something awful happened. There it comes the first upgrade to my fear of heights.
Ever since I was a kid, I never had problems with taking an airplane. I was never scared of that. I always took it.
But that time, I got a panic attack on the plane, it was like being 100% sure that at any moment it would fall.
The next time I had to take a plane, I just got blocked in the airport by my anxiety, started crying, the plane left and I was there.
The road to the airport was like when a death row inmate walks towards the lethal injection. My mind was 100% sure that I would have died if I hopped on that plane.
Plane which of course, didn't fall.
I never took an airplane since that episode. I am too scared. Here goes my freedom to visit a lot of other countries. But I thought it wasn't a big deal since I didn't even like to travel that much. I could have lived without taking a plane anymore.

A little more than year ago, I met JoS once again (I already knew JoS since when I was 13, but my mom caught me and well the story is on my first ever post here).
To be completely honest, sometimes I feel like I didn't advance at all. Especially in these moments, in these days, where I show all my weakness to my phobias.
Of course I advanced, I woke up about the world, I started distinguishing beauty from shit, but spiritually I feel like I still can't do anything, the only thing I feel I can do kind of well is moving energy in my body and breathing it. I can't even go into trance, want to know why? Because of my fear of heights, lol. We all know that you have to "fall" to reach a state of trance. I can't fall, the moment I start falling I panic. It always has been like that, even when I tried the first times, almost 8 years ago. I wonder how I would be if I just kept being a Satanist for all those years.

Even if I feel like I didn't advance at all, I don't regret joining JoS, at all. It's the best thing I ever did. I have a goal now, I have a mission, I have hope...
I still remember what it feels like the "Joy of Satan", meaning that feeling of Joy when you get reunited with Father Satan... Beautiful.
But how can I fight the enemy when I have another enemy right in my mind, that doesn't even let me go out for a walk? It's overwhelming.

And here I am, it's been a month since my fear of heights, after stealing my ability to take a plan, stole my ability to be in the outside.
I could have maybe given up on taking a plane, but I can't give up on being outside... I'm a human, not a mole.
And I decided that I won't give up on taking a plane either, because I want to be free of any phobia. But I said this some days ago too, it's all cool talk but then I shit myself right as I step out of the house... These words mean nothing if I don't find a real solution to this...

But even if I find a solution, I have to fight my laziness too. If I want to heal my mind, I need to stop using the PC so much, especially since I already have to use it for 8 hours a day at my job, since I'm a programmer. Sometimes I feel like programming harms my mind. The problem is that I love programming and it feeds me.

Hopefully, someone of you just read this pitiful story of mine, and I hope someone can help me. I am very ashamed and sorry to show myself like this, but I have to.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

Sounds like too much air element. One time I was out in a big wind storm, so I used the opportunity to try to invoke as much elemental air energy as I could. For the next few days, I had kind of similar symptoms as you. Extreme nervousness, anxiety, and fear. Each elemental energy can have good and bad qualities, and I know that air energy is good for some things, but for me invoking air mostly just causes nervousness when I usually do not feel nervous.

I would suggest for you to try to breathe out some air energy. Follow the directions for invoking the elements, but backwards. Instead of sucking air into your body, imagine air energy being sucked out from your body. But only do a small amount and then wait and see how it feels, because I don't know if this could have other effects.

Also try invoking some Earth energy to balance against the air energy. But again, only do very small amounts to see how it feels.

Work with the Akasha energy. This should make you balanced and even out your elements. Whatever element you are lacking, the Akasha will become it. And it may also flatten down some element energy that you have too much of.

But I would first try removing some of the air energy. See if that helps.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

Also, you have to find some activity that uses up some of this energy in a healthy way. I have too much of a certain kind of energy, and when it gets too much, I play my guitar. It's like the energy goes out of my soul and into the guitar, instead of being inside me. And it does immediately help a lot.

I don't know if music will help you. But there must be some activity that will help. Find something to create, repair, or work on somehow and it will distract you and make you feel better.

 

[Alexandros Iowno [TG]]

Brother. Just stop. Listen to me, I will help you right now but you need to fully comprehend what I say.

I will start off on a personal note and relate to you. I am a good SS, with a satisfactory amount of power. I had endless experiences and a handful of passing siddhis and permanent ones. Recently something happened in my life, that I saw it would come to a degree.

Suddenly after the passing of someone, and stress from the courts, my single person most close to me , SS, as well as being my father in this life, had a terrible stroke. Such a powerful stoke that only death would follow, only that our God's granted me the opportunity for my father to survive as so I can help him spiritually and not reincarnate so soon.

I am a tough guy. Very cold and detached. One month in I did everything psychopathic sufficient to not lose equilibrium. I had visions before, I had sustenance from the Gods yet at one point my psychic broke down and from the same source of power and pineal bliss, I was in the opposite, close to insanity.

More panic attacks than me, I guarantee you, no one had. From a cold soldier to a crying female, unable to even have my eyes open as to not puke. The situation was that I was also obligated to go into my career, which was shocking enough to make any person insane. That's why I failed, because of my "mental" problem.

I had also a heart attack with no apparent health problem, only psychic. Being very open on the astral I also had amplified attacks. Irrational fears and whatnot. Everything you state about I had, and is textbook 101 psychiatric panic disorder. Phobias are a by product of subconscious panic attack.


First of all, you need to find out the source and reason for this. I had multiple traumatic experiences that broke me down. What about you? You used drugs. Ok. You stopped using drugs. Very good. You are also a SS. Extremely good.

What all of this is about, in reality, is losing touch and perceiving disharmony between internal comfort and rationality with the exterior and reality.

Your body is in flight mode by a subconscious loop of worry and inner alertness. Once a panic attack surfaced, it is enough for the subconscious to be afraid of, in turn making your body in the know, creating paradoxically, a panic attack.

Your number one enemy is your mind. Being with higher bioelectricity in this state is also a danger. Panic attack disorder can have many symptoms. From tachycardia to paralysis, nausea and endless thing. If you have sidhhis is even worse, as by the bioelectricity all is amplified. I astral projected without my will besides my fathers bedside. Which made me even worse.

1.Stop reading health information and seeking health problem solutions on the internet.
2.Take some Magnesium and B6 soon, daily.
3.Have people around you, when in a panic attack you need to ride it out and even pass out asleep.
4.Seek medical help at the psychiatry if you are unable to cop it out. You have to be sincere with yourself.

About the psychiatric part. It is very important to understand that this is a malfunctioning of the electrical and chemical system. Even if not desired, treatment for this is necessary in cases when: you have more than 2 panic attacks daily, live with extreme anxiety with the fear of the next one, begin to have heart problems, and start to have other organ dysfunctionalities. If you start to think you go crazy or you die. I called the ambulance 3 times in the span of 4 days, thinking I'll die.

I was a big tough guy riding out the panic attacks, as I am not a "girl" until I had a heart attack scarring me for life on that matter.

Tachycardia happens and blood pressure arises, untreated it becomes an illness of itself, separate from the source it started.

Not treating this will lead you to suicidal thoughts, which are a default when dealing with these low ass states of being.

The treatment will consist in a mood stabilizer and some benzos. It will dumb you down 2 weeks. If you have depression you will also get some SSRIs.


With medication you will find heaven on earth, physically speaking. The aim for you, as the treatment will dumb down the effects and not the source of the problems, is in this time period of treatment, to master void meditation and cleaning aura. Nothing more.

No breathing exercises, only minimal if you desire but I advise against. Yoga only for stretching. Only visual aura cleaning. No warfare. You have to become stable and aware and in charge of your own body.


The doctor will prescribe you alprazolam (xanax) most likely or lorazepam. These are not good. Use them only for short time, max 2 weeks. What you need to get if possible is Clonazepam. Clonazepam used smartly will help you in a month become normal and you will never have any problems of this sort.

With Clonazepam, never take more than 0.5 a day. If your doctor prescribes you more that a day, without being a shock dose, change the doctor.

If you are an addictive person, ask someone to keep your pills. You will likely abuse them as Clonazepam specifically is a therapeutic and recreational drug more so than others.


Follow your doctors scheme of treatment and of withdrawal. I withdrew from xanax, diazepam and clonazepam without any problems by halfling every 3 days. You will be advised to do it every 5 days


Have discipline and a routine. Meals at fixed time, sleep at fixed time. Don't lose track of your actions, the treatment as I said will dumb you down temporarily and make you not remember things sometimes.

I had the kundalini energy and this terrible situation and I sought help myself as a normal human being. There's no shame in that. I got there, got treated 2 weeks, was fine, got out, had problems again as I had no benzos to help myself, got a prescription from a doctor. Followed 2 months on it. Now I'm normal, back on track. Took 1 week to get back my bioelectricity, I understand my mind and self better, have more endurance and came back to being a tough and detached guy with more power than ever.

I still take clonazepam for withdrawal doses and I have no reaction with spiritual advancement. It is totally different and better than any medication.

Be smart when talking with the doctors and be truthful of your drug abuse and what you feel. Do not say you are a satanist, talk to gods and see things. I don't think I need to say that to you..

When in panic attack focus on Satans sigil. I did it when I was extremely down and Satan directly sent me extremely cold energy that engulfed my feet and whole body and calmed me to peaceful bliss.

Discussing this happening with our HP Cobra he suggested me to use ISA in this situation.

Do not worry as this is treatable and a known "illness". Relax, take a deep breath and contact the Gods. Ask for guidance and proceed strategize your healing.

If you have any questions please ask. Also you might want to have your thyroid checked. Even if you have hormonal level beyond the normal limit, it is normal when having panic attacks, but you need to find a specialist of the glands to observe you.

 

[Demonic Tech]

Also, you have to find some activity that uses up some of this energy in a healthy way. I have too much of a certain kind of energy, and when it gets too much, I play my guitar. It's like the energy goes out of my soul and into the guitar, instead of being inside me. And it does immediately help a lot.

I don't know if music will help you. But there must be some activity that will help. Find something to create, repair, or work on somehow and it will distract you and make you feel better.

But I already create, repair and work on code basically everyday at my job, though it's prettytt
About the air element, eh maybe you're right, I recently started meditating more than my usual and one of the meditations I do is the aura of protection, maybe I inhaled too much air doing this and somehow this happened (?) I am not an expert. It's likely that I concentrate too much on the air when I try to inhale energy. But again, these are all theories. I will try following your advice, it seems like a good one, thank you fellow SS.

There is something else tho. Ok, this phobia is the worst ever, but I want to overcome the mental structure that develops new phobias every once in a while. I have already started to notice how it works.

The phobia makes its first contact, in the case of this phobia the first contact was a lot of time ago, years ago, watching the sky once made me feel vertigos. I never had that symptom anymore in years. Than it happens again, I start thinking about it, so it happens even more and here I am. Other phobias followed a similar pattern. They're like a disease spreading taking out my psyche. I have to defeat that, or I will suffer again and again.

My girlfirend showed me the symptoms of Asperger's syndrome, and I have some of the main ones since birth, but to be honest half of gen-Z seems to suffer from those symptoms, I don't even know if Asperger's syndrome is real or some jewish bullshit

 

[Sundara]

Brother. Just stop. Listen to me, I will help you right now but you need to fully comprehend what I say.

I will start off on a personal note and relate to you. I am a good SS, with a satisfactory amount of power. I had endless experiences and a handful of passing siddhis and permanent ones. Recently something happened in my life, that I saw it would come to a degree.

Suddenly after the passing of someone, and stress from the courts, my single person most close to me , SS, as well as being my father in this life, had a terrible stroke. Such a powerful stoke that only death would follow, only that our God's granted me the opportunity for my father to survive as so I can help him spiritually and not reincarnate so soon.

I am a tough guy. Very cold and detached. One month in I did everything psychopathic sufficient to not lose equilibrium. I had visions before, I had sustenance from the Gods yet at one point my psychic broke down and from the same source of power and pineal bliss, I was in the opposite, close to insanity.

More panic attacks than me, I guarantee you, no one had. From a cold soldier to a crying female, unable to even have my eyes open as to not puke. The situation was that I was also obligated to go into my career, which was shocking enough to make any person insane. That's why I failed, because of my "mental" problem.

I had also a heart attack with no apparent health problem, only psychic. Being very open on the astral I also had amplified attacks. Irrational fears and whatnot. Everything you state about I had, and is textbook 101 psychiatric panic disorder. Phobias are a by product of subconscious panic attack.


First of all, you need to find out the source and reason for this. I had multiple traumatic experiences that broke me down. What about you? You used drugs. Ok. You stopped using drugs. Very good. You are also a SS. Extremely good.

What all of this is about, in reality, is losing touch and perceiving disharmony between internal comfort and rationality with the exterior and reality.

Your body is in flight mode by a subconscious loop of worry and inner alertness. Once a panic attack surfaced, it is enough for the subconscious to be afraid of, in turn making your body in the know, creating paradoxically, a panic attack.

Your number one enemy is your mind. Being with higher bioelectricity in this state is also a danger. Panic attack disorder can have many symptoms. From tachycardia to paralysis, nausea and endless thing. If you have sidhhis is even worse, as by the bioelectricity all is amplified. I astral projected without my will besides my fathers bedside. Which made me even worse.

1.Stop reading health information and seeking health problem solutions on the internet.
2.Take some Magnesium and B6 soon, daily.
3.Have people around you, when in a panic attack you need to ride it out and even pass out asleep.
4.Seek medical help at the psychiatry if you are unable to cop it out. You have to be sincere with yourself.

About the psychiatric part. It is very important to understand that this is a malfunctioning of the electrical and chemical system. Even if not desired, treatment for this is necessary in cases when: you have more than 2 panic attacks daily, live with extreme anxiety with the fear of the next one, begin to have heart problems, and start to have other organ dysfunctionalities. If you start to think you go crazy or you die. I called the ambulance 3 times in the span of 4 days, thinking I'll die.

I was a big tough guy riding out the panic attacks, as I am not a "girl" until I had a heart attack scarring me for life on that matter.

Tachycardia happens and blood pressure arises, untreated it becomes an illness of itself, separate from the source it started.

Not treating this will lead you to suicidal thoughts, which are a default when dealing with these low ass states of being.

The treatment will consist in a mood stabilizer and some benzos. It will dumb you down 2 weeks. If you have depression you will also get some SSRIs.


With medication you will find heaven on earth, physically speaking. The aim for you, as the treatment will dumb down the effects and not the source of the problems, is in this time period of treatment, to master void meditation and cleaning aura. Nothing more.

No breathing exercises, only minimal if you desire but I advise against. Yoga only for stretching. Only visual aura cleaning. No warfare. You have to become stable and aware and in charge of your own body.


The doctor will prescribe you alprazolam (xanax) most likely or lorazepam. These are not good. Use them only for short time, max 2 weeks. What you need to get if possible is Clonazepam. Clonazepam used smartly will help you in a month become normal and you will never have any problems of this sort.

With Clonazepam, never take more than 0.5 a day. If your doctor prescribes you more that a day, without being a shock dose, change the doctor.

If you are an addictive person, ask someone to keep your pills. You will likely abuse them as Clonazepam specifically is a therapeutic and recreational drug more so than others.


Follow your doctors scheme of treatment and of withdrawal. I withdrew from xanax, diazepam and clonazepam without any problems by halfling every 3 days. You will be advised to do it every 5 days


Have discipline and a routine. Meals at fixed time, sleep at fixed time. Don't lose track of your actions, the treatment as I said will dumb you down temporarily and make you not remember things sometimes.

I had the kundalini energy and this terrible situation and I sought help myself as a normal human being. There's no shame in that. I got there, got treated 2 weeks, was fine, got out, had problems again as I had no benzos to help myself, got a prescription from a doctor. Followed 2 months on it. Now I'm normal, back on track. Took 1 week to get back my bioelectricity, I understand my mind and self better, have more endurance and came back to being a tough and detached guy with more power than ever.

I still take clonazepam for withdrawal doses and I have no reaction with spiritual advancement. It is totally different and better than any medication.

Be smart when talking with the doctors and be truthful of your drug abuse and what you feel. Do not say you are a satanist, talk to gods and see things. I don't think I need to say that to you..

When in panic attack focus on Satans sigil. I did it when I was extremely down and Satan directly sent me extremely cold energy that engulfed my feet and whole body and calmed me to peaceful bliss.

Discussing this happening with our HP Cobra he suggested me to use ISA in this situation.

Do not worry as this is treatable and a known "illness". Relax, take a deep breath and contact the Gods. Ask for guidance and proceed strategize your healing.

If you have any questions please ask. Also you might want to have your thyroid checked. Even if you have hormonal level beyond the normal limit, it is normal when having panic attacks, but you need to find a specialist of the glands to observe you.

Thanks for this response to him, the internet isn’t a place to be with these issues. A person needs to get out of isolation no matter the suffering.

For secondary input this sounds like what happened to me. I stepped outside once, kundalini was active and I had to back off of meditation. I could t stop pondering the universe, the stars, asking questions to myself. One day I looked up at the stars and had a thought that if I simply think of a black hole my energy could go there and get infinity sucked up. Not possible, irrational, and it began as just a fleeting thought but the thought caused a reaction of immense fear and a sinking feeling. It felt like the world was spinning. This was the very day that ocd fully onset for me. I had to step out of spirituality to overcome this immense battle. I had to learn a lot, think a lot, think less, tried medications but only for 2-4 weeks to reduce damages. I wound up taking ketamine for it once a month at a decent dose. This was the most effective and controlling resolution for me as well as a stable relationship and learning to get out of my head. If something sounds irrational it is irrational. You’ll get through it. If kundalini manifests something it’ll come out as some kind of text book disorder. A person wouldn’t want to take the same medications another person took. With kundalini sometimes medications can make matters much worse. Once I crossed over to another point, ketamine was no longer helpful and was damaging and dangerous to take since it’s very mind altering. There was a really specific way I had to go about using that for treatment.

Once my mind was settled and stable I had a much bigger awakening that was difficult to control just because the sheer power of it was almost crushing but with trust in the gods and myself (also not knowing what was going on fully for some reason helped) the everything was fine. I couldn’t describe how this felt or why it made me want to go to a hospital after it settled down (extreme anxiety and couldn’t sleep) but I’m glad I hung in there and didn’t. They would’ve likely given me xanax or something mind altering which at that point would’ve made it worse. Whether or not someone can persevere through it or needs to go get medication is up to their discretion.

Kundalini is a major mental battle and it takes a lot of perseverance and strength, which you DO possess and it’ll level out. Just hang in there. I couldn’t even think of energy for the longest time or it would trigger the ocd. Made meditation very difficult. My mind was wound up in so many different directions but if I can come out of the cluster fuck that was you’ll be good too.

 

[Demonic Tech]

...

Wow. Thanks, this was so enlightening! I don't think that my situation is as bad as you described your past situation, I never called an ambulance or stuff like that, but I was surely closer to that in the past than now. At least now I know for a fact that I won't die from falling into the sky lol. When I had disease-based phobias I really thought I'd die during panic attacks. It only worries me that you had a heart attack from anxiety, I gotta avoid that thought as a plague. "Brother. Just stop." this is the best start ever.
A good thing is that being an SS gives me an extremely strong determination to overcome this situation and absolutely zero will to give up. About the "no warfare" thing, I thought about that too, but I don't know, these last two days I avoided except today. I want to take a break from warfare, I feel like I need rest from it, but I want to win this war too. It's hard.

Anyway, Ol argedco luciftias's advice might have worked a bit too. Today my phobia was very much less than yesterday and the day before. It was not completely gone, but it was definitely better.

 

[Demonic Tech]

Little update: I'm pretty sure that this phobia blew up in this period because of loneliness!
The worst day was the one before my birthday, and I was suffering a lot because I knew I'll had to spend my birthday alone thanks to the lockdown, and in this period I am basically living alone, that is because my father is always out, even to sleep. Good for him and his new girlfriend.
Another thing that points out how this phobia is being kept alive by loneliness is that it almost completely disappeared when I was in an open place but with my little sister and my mom, who both I don't see since months.
When I got that panic attack even if I was with my colleague, well that's a different case. For some reason, even if there is a nice environment in the office, I feel like I don't trust him completely. He doesn't know me, and he's also my boss in a certain sense, because he's the son of the CEO. I laugh with him and everything but I unwillingly keep this feeling of mistrust against him... You know, a ultra-rich family, which possesses a lot of companies, and thanks to my work and my colleague's is going to get even richer and by a lot if that works... I wouldn't be surprised if they were jews, or have bounds with them... So yea basically if I am alone, I am more weak to panic attacks, same thing if I am with a person who I don't trust, while being with a trusted/loved person brings me relief.
Loneliness definitely is a thing that keeps this phobia strong. The problem is that I can't avoid loneliness during the lockdown. But, knowing what feeds this phobia will help a lot in taking it down, so I'm happy that I had this revelation.

 

[Demonic Tech]

...

Oh and by the way, based on what I responded you and my recent update, do you think I can just go with visual aura cleaning and void meditation (while resting from breathing exercises and warfare) and it'll work or do you suggest psychiatry? I'd rather avoid it of course, and I think I can do it but I wanna know what is your opinion, since you look informed

 

[Alexandros Iowno [TG]]

...

Oh and by the way, based on what I responded you and my recent update, do you think I can just go with visual aura cleaning and void meditation (while resting from breathing exercises and warfare) and it'll work or do you suggest psychiatry? I'd rather avoid it of course, and I think I can do it but I wanna know what is your opinion, since you look informed

From what it seems you don't need to go there. Psychiatry for a SS is when in urgency and most dire situations when you have no options left and you become truly unfunctional.

You also experience maturing as a consequence and product of this loneliness, this is the most common producer of panic attacks, that individual will have symptoms like the phobias you say you have.

Go with aura cleaning and the most basic things. Do not stimulate your system with warfare or any other powerful meditation. Design a scheme of meditations that will focus solely on different types of void meditation for a week or two.
After you can start slowly with balancing meditations and breathing exercises. All that matters is to build a solid ground that cannot be questioned by any panic attack.

Your mind alone is the sole activator of these states of confusion and misplacement, getting control over your mind you control your body. Take vitamins and have a fixed schedule. Sleep is very important and also things that you THINK are good for you (even if they are not) are good to dabble with. Play some games, develop a positive addiction, such as reading books. Do not push yourself out of the comfort zone until you have stable control over yourself. You will observe that even when in conscious comfort and positivity, a panic attack can surface. This is because of the weak foundation and will of your conscious male aspect of the mind. Use rationality every time, if failing, surrender to sleep and being calm. Having an astral altar helps. Create at least a mental comfort scenery where nothing but happiness and peace can enter there.

Also, adapting and understanding how you deal with these panic attacks is extremely important. Every experience of such is a demonstration that you can pull of without any problems and experience normality again. Fearing will always be irrational but let me tell you a secret. The real fear is not irrational, thus your fear and this kind of panic attack fear is to be totally ignored as it is not real. This is by Void meditation, learning to ignore thoughts, destroy thoughts and focus on positives and productivity of self. In time you'll observe directly how your mind influences your body on a direct basis and how you can also shut down subconscious fears.

You are never alone. You are a SS, you and I are connected on a level far beyond any outsider human can comprehend, same with our sisters and brothers. You are also connected to our Gods and you are being watched and cared for every day. Besides these you also have yourself, your mind, your emotions, and your body to realize that you are a complex life force that desires you to be happy, strong, and healthy, so help your life that's within you flower properly.

 

[Demonic Tech]

...

Oh and by the way, based on what I responded you and my recent update, do you think I can just go with visual aura cleaning and void meditation (while resting from breathing exercises and warfare) and it'll work or do you suggest psychiatry? I'd rather avoid it of course, and I think I can do it but I wanna know what is your opinion, since you look informed

From what it seems you don't need to go there. Psychiatry for a SS is when in urgency and most dire situations when you have no options left and you become truly unfunctional.

You also experience maturing as a consequence and product of this loneliness, this is the most common producer of panic attacks, that individual will have symptoms like the phobias you say you have.

Go with aura cleaning and the most basic things. Do not stimulate your system with warfare or any other powerful meditation. Design a scheme of meditations that will focus solely on different types of void meditation for a week or two.
After you can start slowly with balancing meditations and breathing exercises. All that matters is to build a solid ground that cannot be questioned by any panic attack.

Your mind alone is the sole activator of these states of confusion and misplacement, getting control over your mind you control your body. Take vitamins and have a fixed schedule. Sleep is very important and also things that you THINK are good for you (even if they are not) are good to dabble with. Play some games, develop a positive addiction, such as reading books. Do not push yourself out of the comfort zone until you have stable control over yourself. You will observe that even when in conscious comfort and positivity, a panic attack can surface. This is because of the weak foundation and will of your conscious male aspect of the mind. Use rationality every time, if failing, surrender to sleep and being calm. Having an astral altar helps. Create at least a mental comfort scenery where nothing but happiness and peace can enter there.

Also, adapting and understanding how you deal with these panic attacks is extremely important. Every experience of such is a demonstration that you can pull of without any problems and experience normality again. Fearing will always be irrational but let me tell you a secret. The real fear is not irrational, thus your fear and this kind of panic attack fear is to be totally ignored as it is not real. This is by Void meditation, learning to ignore thoughts, destroy thoughts and focus on positives and productivity of self. In time you'll observe directly how your mind influences your body on a direct basis and how you can also shut down subconscious fears.

You are never alone. You are a SS, you and I are connected on a level far beyond any outsider human can comprehend, same with our sisters and brothers. You are also connected to our Gods and you are being watched and cared for every day. Besides these you also have yourself, your mind, your emotions, and your body to realize that you are a complex life force that desires you to be happy, strong, and healthy, so help your life that's within you flower properly.

Thank you so much Brother, I don't know how but everything you wrote felt like an extreme relief and gave me chills to an extent. Like if this words were meant to reach me. Again, thanks and Bless you!

 

[Alexandros Iowno [TG]]

Glad I could help. If you have any other questions email me anytime and I'll be there to support you.

 

[Wayofthegods]

Little update: I'm pretty sure that this phobia blew up in this period because of loneliness!
The worst day was the one before my birthday, and I was suffering a lot because I knew I'll had to spend my birthday alone thanks to the lockdown, and in this period I am basically living alone, that is because my father is always out, even to sleep. Good for him and his new girlfriend.
Another thing that points out how this phobia is being kept alive by loneliness is that it almost completely disappeared when I was in an open place but with my little sister and my mom, who both I don't see since months.
When I got that panic attack even if I was with my colleague, well that's a different case. For some reason, even if there is a nice environment in the office, I feel like I don't trust him completely. He doesn't know me, and he's also my boss in a certain sense, because he's the son of the CEO. I laugh with him and everything but I unwillingly keep this feeling of mistrust against him... You know, a ultra-rich family, which possesses a lot of companies, and thanks to my work and my colleague's is going to get even richer and by a lot if that works... I wouldn't be surprised if they were jews, or have bounds with them... So yea basically if I am alone, I am more weak to panic attacks, same thing if I am with a person who I don't trust, while being with a trusted/loved person brings me relief.
Loneliness definitely is a thing that keeps this phobia strong. The problem is that I can't avoid loneliness during the lockdown. But, knowing what feeds this phobia will help a lot in taking it down, so I'm happy that I had this revelation.

I was gonna say... are you alone?

Boy does this look farmilar. Being alone drives the human mind insane. You try to bring yourself up, and you become bipolar. You go up and then down, up and then down.

 

[Demonic Tech]

Little update: I'm pretty sure that this phobia blew up in this period because of loneliness!
The worst day was the one before my birthday, and I was suffering a lot because I knew I'll had to spend my birthday alone thanks to the lockdown, and in this period I am basically living alone, that is because my father is always out, even to sleep. Good for him and his new girlfriend.
Another thing that points out how this phobia is being kept alive by loneliness is that it almost completely disappeared when I was in an open place but with my little sister and my mom, who both I don't see since months.
When I got that panic attack even if I was with my colleague, well that's a different case. For some reason, even if there is a nice environment in the office, I feel like I don't trust him completely. He doesn't know me, and he's also my boss in a certain sense, because he's the son of the CEO. I laugh with him and everything but I unwillingly keep this feeling of mistrust against him... You know, a ultra-rich family, which possesses a lot of companies, and thanks to my work and my colleague's is going to get even richer and by a lot if that works... I wouldn't be surprised if they were jews, or have bounds with them... So yea basically if I am alone, I am more weak to panic attacks, same thing if I am with a person who I don't trust, while being with a trusted/loved person brings me relief.
Loneliness definitely is a thing that keeps this phobia strong. The problem is that I can't avoid loneliness during the lockdown. But, knowing what feeds this phobia will help a lot in taking it down, so I'm happy that I had this revelation.

I was gonna say... are you alone?

Boy does this look farmilar. Being alone drives the human mind insane. You try to bring yourself up, and you become bipolar. You go up and then down, up and then down.

Am I alone? Phisically, yes. A lot. I live only with my father and he's out most nights. The only people I am with are coworkers, and as I said I don't trust them that much.
What makes me suffer more than everything is that I miss being with my friends, and being with my girlfriend. This is the enemy's fault by the way. I want to fucking destroy them all but according to the advices, doing warfare is fucking me up too, since I have these problems.

Anyway, some days have passed and I feel a lot better than before. My phobia still isn't completely gone, but it's a lot weaker. I still have to start practicing my void meditation because I am a dumbass who gets distracted too easily. The shitty ending of my favorite manga and the complete character assassination of my favorite character didn't help a fucking bit (I am talking about Attack on Titan and Eren Jaeger, I legitimately thought that was a Satanic inspired masterpiece but I guess not after this shitty ending).

 

[Blitzkreig [TG]]

...

Since we are discussing physical treatments and what not: In TCM, the "shen" or mind/consciousness is housed in the heart. Weed destabilizes this and that is why you felt tachycardia. Of course the doctors didn't pick up on this because this is a holistic concept.

As far as physical symptoms for mental stability go, and also for vertigo, you should seek out a TCM doctor. They will definitely be able to stabilize the shen. Especially considering that it was agitated by a physical substance, then it can be helped by a physical substance (herbs) as well. These herbs are way safer than allopathic drugs as well.

This article briefly discusses this:
https://www.healthcmi.com/Acupuncture-Blog/760-shenlonggu

 

[Ninja 666]

...

I'm not a psychiatrist or have any experiences with this, but you seem very willing to continue with the spiritual warfare effort. "Where there is a will there is a way", please don't neglect considering trying out spiritual warfare to see how it goes. The RTR removes the curses and bindings on your soul and mind, so the phobias will be easier to be dealt with and heal, but do it with your own personal care and consideration. As you have all the facts here.

Visualization cleaning, void meditation and Hatha Yoga are all mild ways to stay on the spiritual side while caring for your mental health, and dealing with the phobias. But use your own judgment here.

We are also under heavy psychic attacks, and the enemy are trying desperately to discourage warfare.

If you're willing to at least attempt doing some RTRs, even if just the Final RTR, I'm almost certain you are able to stay on your warfare effort. Also remembering to clean with visualizing the "brilliant bright light like the sun" HPS Maxine posted and asking Satan for a Demon/ess to help you with this.

You can also ask Satan to help you with this or your Guardian Demon. "No human being is of more importance to Satan than a warrior is." so that will of yours to stay on the war and wanting to continue with the spiritual practices, I'm sure is of consideration and importance to them, and they also care for you as an individual.

 

[Ninja 666]

...

I'm not a psychiatrist or have any experiences with this, but you seem very willing to continue with the spiritual warfare effort. "Where there is a will there is a way", please don't neglect considering trying out spiritual warfare to see how it goes. The RTR removes the curses and bindings on your soul and mind, so the phobias will be easier to be dealt with and heal, but do it with your own personal care and consideration. As you have all the facts here.

Visualization cleaning, void meditation and Hatha Yoga are all mild ways to stay on the spiritual side while caring for your mental health, and dealing with the phobias. But use your own judgment here.

We are also under heavy psychic attacks, and the enemy are trying desperately to discourage warfare.

If you're willing to at least attempt doing some RTRs, even if just the Final RTR, I'm almost certain you are able to stay on your warfare effort. Also remembering to clean with visualizing the "brilliant bright light like the sun" HPS Maxine posted and asking Satan for a Demon/ess to help you with this.

You can also ask Satan to help you with this or your Guardian Demon. "No human being is of more importance to Satan than a warrior is." so that will of yours to stay on the war and wanting to continue with the spiritual practices, I'm sure is of consideration and importance to them, and they also care for you as an individual.

I oppose any detriment to our war effort, that's why I'm trying to persuade you to continue, but I'm no expert on mental illnesses and haven't experienced it, so I'm cautious with this.

 

[Henu the Great]

I oppose any detriment to our war effort, that's why I'm trying to persuade you to continue, but I'm no expert on mental illnesses and haven't experienced it, so I'm cautious with this.

When there is an acute mental problem situation it's best to step away from any excessive stimulation. NakedPluto has grade A advice here and I know something about this too. Nothing wrong about taking some time off from spiritual warfare and such when the mind needs some time to rest & recuperate.

When there is no good reason to take time off from spiritual warfare and other mentally/spiritually stimulating activities then it's of course another matter, but this is not the case here.

 

[Demonic Tech]

I'll heal soon enough and I'll be ready to kick jewish asses again
I won't surrend even if I am taking a break
The enemy will disappear and I will be a part of it

 

[Sunny]

I wrote a lot just to missclick and close the tab, and now here I am writing this again, but in notepad this time, just to be sure.

I can't live anymore like this. If I wasn't so scared of death, didn't have Satan by my side, didn't have a war to win, who knows what I could have possibly done by now.
I have a new phobia, the kind of phobia that ruins your life. I have always been scared of heights and suffered from vertigo, but this reached it's almost-maximum level.
Usually you are scared of heights when you don't want to fall down, not up. And yes, now I'm also scared of falling up. This sounds pretty stupid right? It is stupid. Even I know it.
This is like agoraphobia but way worse. I panic the moment I step out of a closed place. Without a ceiling, I'm just terrified by falling in the sky, being so tall, so infinite.

Endless.

It's like fearing that gravity gets reversed.
I tried to avoid talking about it here because I tried to pretend that it wasn't real, but it didn't work. Today I had one of the worst episodes of this phobia.
I was carrying some stuff from a warehouse to another, i was there, right under the sky, I started panicking in front of my colleague. I had to walk near a fence to get a little of relief.
I am so much ashamed of this phobia... But I had to explain him why I was walking near a wall like a crackhead. Luckily he's not an asshole and didn't laugh at me.
When I reached my car (running, in order to stay the least time possible under the sky) to go home, I started crying, because this is not life, this is a nightmare.
This is a mental prison, and I am both the prisoner and the jailer. Especially since the lockdowns started, I'd enjoy so much to breath fresh air, to go out for a walk, I even started to work out, but now this limits me so much. I am not free of living like a decent human being, and I could not be angrier, because there is physically no one to limit my freedom.
It's just my mind that got fucked up years ago, after something happened to me (and it's only my fault), I kept developing phobias and forms of anxiety.
By the way, this is not the first time that my "normal" fear of heights gets upgraded. But I'll talk about that in a minute.

Ok... This is going to be long both to write and read, I hope someone of you will have the time and patience to do it. I feel like that if I don't explain everything since the beginning, this post won't be useful.

It happened 3 years and a month ago (circa). Let's say that probably a month ago was the 3rd anniversary of my mental problems. Oh, that's probably why this new phobia blew up in this
period. Good to know. Anyway, I was 17 at that time (I know that I should not give too much personal info, but I don't see any other way to tell this). My birthday is also very near.
Maybe it's better to not tell when it is, I don't know, if I post too much personal info maybe the post won't be accepted in order to protect me, and I need this post being posted and answered a lot, really really a lot... I'm starting to go off-topic. My bad.

I was saying, 3 years ago I literally ruined my life, at least my life between now and that period, and there is a 99.99% chance that it was all thanks to that wonderful substance that rappers enjoy so much and make their teenage listeners want to smoke. Marijuana dude! The drug that doesn't harm you! Goy, smoke weed everyday and ACAB!
I was a pothead too. I smoked almost twice a week. I didn't have any anxiety nor anything, I was a little happy NPC with it's meaningless problems.
Fuck... That day I wish I didn't smoke. Not that much at least. I wonder how my life would have went if that damn day I did not smoke.
That day I got a panic attack after smoking, which is something not even that rare, it can happen to everyone who smokes and most times it just goes away after a while and nothing happens.
I already got a couple of after-weed panic attacks before that, and they weren't such a big deal.
But this time, after I managed to get out of it... It just... kept returning. Usually, when you panic from weed, you have tachycardia. Congratulations Mr. Young Faith, you are now officially diagnosed with imaginary tachycardia. That's what happened to me. I started to feel tachycardia randomly, even the day after, it just didn't stop, I really thought I had it, until a heart doctor saw me and visited me. He told me that my heart was perfect. The hits in my chest that I felt were some systole, nothing harmful at all he said.
And now I know it's true, because after that visit I never got any particular problems with the "imaginary tachycardia".
But little did I know that my mind was already fucked up, and soon enough, it provided me a cool new thing to fear. A brain cancer phobia. Every headache I had, panic.
Everytime my head was spinning a bit, panic. That's why I did a cranial nerve exam or stuff like that. Pretty relaxing as exam. And now, the brain cancer phobia was "cured".
Since that day, my anxiety learned to not focus on one thing, but to just come and fuck me up every once in a while.
Meeting my girlfriend helped me a bit.

I forgot to say that the brain doctor gave me a little dose of xanax, really a little dose, luckily. It kinda helped, I guess? I did feel better, but I also didn't want to take it
anymore. I didn't trust that stuff.
When I stopped, I kept feeling almost good. The problem in the following years were mostly random panic attacks whenever I got some weird symptom of anything. It also happened recently,
when I caught shingles, AKA herpes zoster, what a pain it was. That's a disease that usually old people gets, or people under chemio.
This says a lot about my weakness.

So even if I got better, I still had my panic attacks every once in a while.
Then something awful happened. There it comes the first upgrade to my fear of heights.
Ever since I was a kid, I never had problems with taking an airplane. I was never scared of that. I always took it.
But that time, I got a panic attack on the plane, it was like being 100% sure that at any moment it would fall.
The next time I had to take a plane, I just got blocked in the airport by my anxiety, started crying, the plane left and I was there.
The road to the airport was like when a death row inmate walks towards the lethal injection. My mind was 100% sure that I would have died if I hopped on that plane.
Plane which of course, didn't fall.
I never took an airplane since that episode. I am too scared. Here goes my freedom to visit a lot of other countries. But I thought it wasn't a big deal since I didn't even like to travel that much. I could have lived without taking a plane anymore.

A little more than year ago, I met JoS once again (I already knew JoS since when I was 13, but my mom caught me and well the story is on my first ever post here).
To be completely honest, sometimes I feel like I didn't advance at all. Especially in these moments, in these days, where I show all my weakness to my phobias.
Of course I advanced, I woke up about the world, I started distinguishing beauty from shit, but spiritually I feel like I still can't do anything, the only thing I feel I can do kind of well is moving energy in my body and breathing it. I can't even go into trance, want to know why? Because of my fear of heights, lol. We all know that you have to "fall" to reach a state of trance. I can't fall, the moment I start falling I panic. It always has been like that, even when I tried the first times, almost 8 years ago. I wonder how I would be if I just kept being a Satanist for all those years.

Even if I feel like I didn't advance at all, I don't regret joining JoS, at all. It's the best thing I ever did. I have a goal now, I have a mission, I have hope...
I still remember what it feels like the "Joy of Satan", meaning that feeling of Joy when you get reunited with Father Satan... Beautiful.
But how can I fight the enemy when I have another enemy right in my mind, that doesn't even let me go out for a walk? It's overwhelming.

And here I am, it's been a month since my fear of heights, after stealing my ability to take a plan, stole my ability to be in the outside.
I could have maybe given up on taking a plane, but I can't give up on being outside... I'm a human, not a mole.
And I decided that I won't give up on taking a plane either, because I want to be free of any phobia. But I said this some days ago too, it's all cool talk but then I shit myself right as I step out of the house... These words mean nothing if I don't find a real solution to this...

But even if I find a solution, I have to fight my laziness too. If I want to heal my mind, I need to stop using the PC so much, especially since I already have to use it for 8 hours a day at my job, since I'm a programmer. Sometimes I feel like programming harms my mind. The problem is that I love programming and it feeds me.

Hopefully, someone of you just read this pitiful story of mine, and I hope someone can help me. I am very ashamed and sorry to show myself like this, but I have to.

Delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (commonly known as THC, Δ⁹-THC or tetrahydrocannabinol) is one of the largest and best-known active ingredients of cannabis and can be considered the progenitor of the phytocannabinoid family.

Several isomers of THC are known, two of which occur naturally in cannabis. The most notable is the (-)-trans isomer, known pharmacologically as dronabinol.[1][2][3][4]

A psychotropic substance produced from cannabis flowers, it can be ingested, commonly smoked or inhaled through a vaporizer. With pain-relieving properties (e.g. THC-containing drugs such as Sativex or Bedrocan, are used to treat pain), euphoric, anti-nausea, anti-emetic, anti-kinetic, appetite-stimulating, which lowers intraocular pressure, and is capable of lowering aggression.[5]

It was isolated by Raphael Mechoulam, Yechiel Gaoni, and Habib Edery from the Weizmann Institute, Israel, in 1964. In pure form, at low temperatures, it is a crystalline solid, slightly pink in colour[6], with a glass transition that makes it viscous and sticky when heated. Commercially THC is presented in solution as a yellow/brown oily liquid.[7][8] THC has a very low solubility in water, but good solubility in most organic solvents.


THC has been shown to interact with the endorphin system and in particular with μ1 opioid receptors, causing the release of dopamine in the nucleus accumbens and generating the typical cannabinoid pleasure sensation. It can cause feelings of euphoria, relaxation, altered spatiotemporal perception; auditory, olfactory and visual changes, anxiety, disorientation, fatigue, and stimulation of appetite. Binding of cannabinoids to CB1 receptors causes presynaptic inhibition of the reuptake of various neurotransmitters (particularly dopamine and glutamate), and stimulation of periaqueductal grey matter (PAG) and rostral ventromedial medulla (RVM) areas, which in turn inhibit ascending nerve pain pathways. In the spinal cord, the binding of cannabinoids to CB1 receptors causes an inhibition of afferent fibres in the dorsal horn, and in the periphery, the binding of cannabinoids to CB1 and CB2 receptors causes a reduction in the secretion of various prostanoids and pro-inflammatory cytokines, the inhibition of substance P and thus of the pain signal. The mechanism for appetite stimulation is believed to be the result of THC activity in the hypothalamic-gastrointestinal axis. CB1 activity in the hunger centres of the hypothalamus increases the palatability of food when levels of the hunger hormone ghrelin increase following the entry of food into the stomach.


To date, there has never been a documented human fatality from a single overdose of tetrahydrocannabinol or cannabis.[12] The assessment of the danger of THC to humans is widely disputed, not only scientifically, but also politically and ideologically. According to Merck[13], the LD50 of tetrahydrocannabinol is 1270 mg/Kg live weight when administered orally (delivered in sesame oil) in male rats and 730 mg/Kg in female rats; the dose drops to 482 mg/Kg live weight when administered by inhalation[14]. 14] This value is considered very high, according to opinion, so much so that the acute toxicity of THC is considered very low compared to other psychotropic substances or drugs, if only because of the impracticality of such an administration through cannabis (consider that the average concentration of the active ingredient in today's popular consumer substances is 15%, with peaks of around 30%: 10 grams of product therefore contain an average of 1.5 g of THC, or 1500 mg. A human being weighing 70 kg would need 482x70=33740 mg of active ingredient, i.e. approximately 225 grams of product. A 'joint' is normally prepared with 0.5 grams of the substance: 450 joints would be needed to reach the Lethal Dose intake, but the time needed to take such a disproportionate amount would result in the metabolisation of the active ingredient taken previously, making an overdose unlikely[15]. For this reason, legislation in different countries takes different approaches to assessing phytocannabinoids, leading to divergences in regulation. Some studies conducted on THC assimilation conclude that the substance induces neuronal loss in the hippocampus, the area of the brain responsible for short-term to long-term memory fixation[16][17]; several other studies have demonstrated the neuroprotective and anti-inflammatory abilities of THC[18][19][20][21][22].


In favour of the first argument (i.e. that it causes damage to the hippocampus), in an in vivo study[23] rats exposed to THC every day for 8 months (approximately 30% of their life expectancy), examined at 11 or 12 months of age, showed a loss of nerve cells equivalent to animals twice their age.[24]

There are also a number of clinical studies demonstrating a correlation between the presence of significant brain and cognitive impairments and THC intake, without, however, being able to definitively postulate causality, given the presence of numerous interaction effects with other factors, which outweigh the simple effect of THC alone.[16][25][26][27][28][29]

In favour of the second thesis, an in vitro study in rat neurons showed that the cannabinoid HU210 is immunoreactive with the CB1 receptor for cannabinoids, leading the authors to speculate that it may play a role in neuronal proliferation. This hypothesis is supported by the observation that the cannabinoid HU210 stimulates proliferation (but not differentiation) of rat embryonic neuronal cells in vitro.[30] Another study precisely demonstrated that CBD and THC have neuroprotective effects on cortical neuronal cells[31]. Further studies have brought the effect of THC on humans in relation to neurodegenerative diseases such as Alzheimer's and Parkinson's to the attention of scientific circles[32][33].

Marijuana is obviously a harmful substance like tobacco and other things but it is not the trigger for your phobias, this drug has only made your situation worse. You have said in other threads that you have had several phobias since childhood and so we need to get to the root of the problem.

Stress and out-of-control thoughts are among the worst problems a person can have.

Your case is really about lack of self-control of thoughts plus hyperactivity of thoughts, a wrong and dangerous combination. If you're wondering how many people don't have such a problem without mental training, it's because they don't think much.

The most important problem that can arise from this situation is the repetition and subsequent reinforcement of negative thoughts that subsequently become habits. Thus, these are essentially suicidal and self-destructive thoughts and habits. At present, doctors and psychologists know very little about the brain and the mind because of the jews who deceive and limit us in order to abuse and enslave us.

The brain not only needs to be healthy and properly nourished and rested, it also needs to be trained and developed like the rest of the body.

This problem should not be underestimated because it can seriously ruin your life. Now listen to me carefully and do exactly what I tell you to do and you will be free of this problem forever.

You have to do emptiness meditation regularly and master this wonderful and fundamentally important meditation. With emptiness meditation you will be able to switch off and stop unwanted thoughts. And to remove bad habits and/or phobias, you have to use self-hypnosis. The first phobia you need to remove is the phobia of falling, which prevents you from going into trance. You can do this with a long self-hypnosis in a light trance and then in a deep trance, then you can proceed with the other phobias. When you master the meditation of emptiness, you can and should prevent these kinds of problems and will be useful to you in many other things.

 

[hailourtruegod]

...

Since we are discussing physical treatments and what not: In TCM, the "shen" or mind/consciousness is housed in the heart. Weed destabilizes this and that is why you felt tachycardia. Of course the doctors didn't pick up on this because this is a holistic concept.

As far as physical symptoms for mental stability go, and also for vertigo, you should seek out a TCM doctor. They will definitely be able to stabilize the shen. Especially considering that it was agitated by a physical substance, then it can be helped by a physical substance (herbs) as well. These herbs are way safer than allopathic drugs as well.

This article briefly discusses this:
https://www.healthcmi.com/Acupuncture-Blog/760-shenlonggu

This must explain why I've been feeling way more stable since doing the 8 brocades almost everyday. (Only days I've skipped is when I had to skip something of my schedule because I overslept and didn't have time after work). One of the brocades is aimed at calling the heart fire. What the person I've watched describes about the movement reminded me of what you said here.

You've been making me really interested in TCM and I plan on taking the advice you gave this person to make sure the problems from smoking weed in the past are *completely* gone.

Young Faith, I recommend looking into the 8 brocades as well on top of the great advice given by Blitzkreig.

 

[Ninja 666]

I'll heal soon enough and I'll be ready to kick jewish asses again
I won't surrend even if I am taking a break
The enemy will disappear and I will be a part of it

Great to see you're not discouraged.

Heal well, Young Faith.

 

[Demonic Tech]

I wanna thank every one of you for keep giving me advices, you're all great
I'll overcome my phobias
I'm tired of them
I want to overcome all of them, even the airplane one, I don't want to be slave of phobia never again

I'll seriously start the void meditation intensely

...

I totally agree with you, since the day I was born, I overthink
My family, my elementary school teachers, they always told me that I had my "head up in the clouds", always thinking about something else, always being obsessed with something instead of being just a fan

 

[Sunny]

I wanna thank every one of you for keep giving me advices, you're all great
I'll overcome my phobias
I'm tired of them
I want to overcome all of them, even the airplane one, I don't want to be slave of phobia never again

I'll seriously start the void meditation intensely

...

I totally agree with you, since the day I was born, I overthink
My family, my elementary school teachers, they always told me that I had my "head up in the clouds", always thinking about something else, always being obsessed with something instead of being just a fan

Good luck and take care of yourself.

 

[Blitzkreig [TG]]

This must explain why I've been feeling way more stable since doing the 8 brocades almost everyday. (Only days I've skipped is when I had to skip something of my schedule because I overslept and didn't have time after work). One of the brocades is aimed at calling the heart fire. What the person I've watched describes about the movement reminded me of what you said here.

You've been making me really interested in TCM and I plan on taking the advice you gave this person to make sure the problems from smoking weed in the past are *completely* gone.

Young Faith, I recommend looking into the 8 brocades as well on top of the great advice given by Blitzkreig.

You might find this article on weed and TCM interesting then: https://www.acupuncturetoday.com/mpacms/at/article.php?id=33013

If you think you have heart issues, use this article to differentiate your symptoms: https://www.sacredlotus.com/go/diagnosis-chinese-medicine/get/zang-fu-heart-patterns-tcm

Some of the notable acupoints for the heart are pretty easy to find, so feel free to try them as well:

 

[hailourtruegod]

This must explain why I've been feeling way more stable since doing the 8 brocades almost everyday. (Only days I've skipped is when I had to skip something of my schedule because I overslept and didn't have time after work). One of the brocades is aimed at calling the heart fire. What the person I've watched describes about the movement reminded me of what you said here.

You've been making me really interested in TCM and I plan on taking the advice you gave this person to make sure the problems from smoking weed in the past are *completely* gone.

Young Faith, I recommend looking into the 8 brocades as well on top of the great advice given by Blitzkreig.

You might find this article on weed and TCM interesting then: https://www.acupuncturetoday.com/mpacms/at/article.php?id=33013

If you think you have heart issues, use this article to differentiate your symptoms: https://www.sacredlotus.com/go/diagnosis-chinese-medicine/get/zang-fu-heart-patterns-tcm

Some of the notable acupoints for the heart are pretty easy to find, so feel free to try them as well:

Very interesting reads indeed. I'm planning on sharing this info to the people I care about who's foolishly using drugs.

Reading thru the second link it doesn't seem like I'm suffering from anything too bad at least not anymore but Heart Fire Blazing seems to be my case.

When I was a child my doctor told me I had something wrong with my throat. She noticed I constantly would have some pus there.

I recently looked up GERD, it was found to be a thing in 2015 iirc. My doctor never really diagnosed me with anything but I'm almost certain this might be my case. Many of the minor symptoms have been there for a long time.

I read being fit and healthy helps out a lot and I can vouch for that, now that I'm paying attention. The symptoms have calm down a lot now. (I've always been in decent shape for most of my life but I never really paid attention to the problems or made any connections.) Though some of the problems are still there just not as much or as strong as when I was doing a poor job taking care of my body. Last time I did this was towards the end of last year and I now that I look back I did have symptoms getting really bad. I'm confident that it's nowhere near as problematic that I need surgery or doctor prescribed pills but I do wish to take a holistic (TCM included) approach to it so i can get rid of it completely. I learned to live with it and it doesn't hinder my life. Then again I grew up ignoring pains and illnesses unless they became unbearable.

I used to think it had to do more with the throat chakra as that's the one I noticed was the most damaged besides the heart. Seems like I was wrong? Focusing on calming the heart fire seems to finally do something for me.

I spent a lot of time empowering and cleaning my throat chakra since becoming a SS but I probably should of done as much to the heart chakra. Seems like that's benefiting me way more.

I might make a new Topic in the Health forum about this but any feedback on this would be sublime.

Sorry if I rambled. I'm working on getting to the point instead of being a chatterbox lol but the second link is very helpful and was very needed.

Thank you very much!

 

[Demonic Tech]

Update: eh, I am not getting better. To be fair, I didn't even try hard to get out my situation, despite all the good advice I received here. How am I so dumb and lazy, I really don't know. I reached the point where being at home alone one night automatically gives me a panic attack. I have to stop this. Why the fuck, in all this time, I didn't force myself to sit and meditate NOT EVEN ONCE? How can I be so fucking distracted, how the fuck can I be so stupid, I have all the means to overcome this yet I did nothing for a month or more! For fuck sake what the fuck is wrong with me

 

[Alexandros Iowno [TG]]

Update: eh, I am not getting better. To be fair, I didn't even try hard to get out my situation, despite all the good advice I received here. How am I so dumb and lazy, I really don't know. I reached the point where being at home alone one night automatically gives me a panic attack. I have to stop this. Why the fuck, in all this time, I didn't force myself to sit and meditate NOT EVEN ONCE? How can I be so fucking distracted, how the fuck can I be so stupid, I have all the means to overcome this yet I did nothing for a month or more! For fuck sake what the fuck is wrong with me

Don't be mean to yourself, give yourself space to breathe and compose. Yes now you regret not taking action which on the positive means maturing and advancing yourself in the future better, taking better decisions.

I'm going in a hard withrawal as well with another thing, while keeping a job , different obligations and still doing some hobby. It is horrible but there no other option but forward. You have to man up in the end and pierce by everything. As I said discipline and routine is the foundation of everything. Try do that and take control of yourself. If failing you have other advices already given. Don't lose hope, the enemy attacks, built yourself back up. Meditation and balance is a must!

 

[Demonic Tech]

Update: eh, I am not getting better. To be fair, I didn't even try hard to get out my situation, despite all the good advice I received here. How am I so dumb and lazy, I really don't know. I reached the point where being at home alone one night automatically gives me a panic attack. I have to stop this. Why the fuck, in all this time, I didn't force myself to sit and meditate NOT EVEN ONCE? How can I be so fucking distracted, how the fuck can I be so stupid, I have all the means to overcome this yet I did nothing for a month or more! For fuck sake what the fuck is wrong with me

Don't be mean to yourself, give yourself space to breathe and compose. Yes now you regret not taking action which on the positive means maturing and advancing yourself in the future better, taking better decisions.

I'm going in a hard withrawal as well with another thing, while keeping a job , different obligations and still doing some hobby. It is horrible but there no other option but forward. You have to man up in the end and pierce by everything. As I said discipline and routine is the foundation of everything. Try do that and take control of yourself. If failing you have other advices already given. Don't lose hope, the enemy attacks, built yourself back up. Meditation and balance is a must!

I have to find a way to force myself to keep pushing
I always give up, like I gave up on working out more than once
Anyway, thank you for the good words and I hope you solve your issues as well, brother