Ghost in the Machine said:
I kind of wondered what your opinion would be on this prospect of mine.
SPOILER:
I have no idea what the fuck happened, but more than half my reply got lost and doesn't show in the forum. I'm going to try and add the missing parts in a poorer format as I saved a big chunk of it. Please disregard the one I sent before this as it lacks hours of typing.
Brother, I haven't even finished reading all of your post but something told me to start writing right now as some of what you're saying has been tremendously familiar to me and, lo and behold, I just started to realize a couple of these things two days ago, when I was still postponing reading and answering all messages due to personal problems and freaking xmas stuff.
I'll put down the things I've been realizing as I answer your post. Some of this is scary accurate. This is not going to be an easy post to answer to.
Note to self: is the solution "Earth"?
You: "but in seeing it I've been working towards a fantastic recovery in objectivity."
First thing that comes to mind, perhaps because the previous post had to do with it, is that "Earth has made you aware".
I'm slowly becoming aware myself of how Earth seems to uncover information that was just out of my reach. Perhaps because Earth slows down, or the fact that it makes the physical 'more obviously physical' for the observer to see, but there's fragments of reality I've been noticing.
I wonder if this has anything to do with what you've recently conquered.
I'm not well aware of all the attacks and problems that I've suffered as sometimes I tend to decide whether or not someone or something is an asset or an attack before the time is right to tell. As you can imagine this has created all sorts of troubles in my social life for as long as I can remember. I'm not even going to dig deeper in the whole 'love relationships' matter as it all feels like a big joke. Matter of fact, I now avoid relationship entirely, and really only feel a Demoness as the ONLY suitable partner (this will take more time for to become capable to reach one, of course). Even seemingly very trustworthy and attractive females just suggest it would be another waste of time and effort. Funny thing: I recently woke up after a dream about my ex who was a giant and was trying to kill me. Weird enough when I think of Freud's interpretation of "giants" in dreams, as he states it means the dreamer feels admiration for that person. Admiration is possibly the last thing I feel for her, the one who completely failed in 8 years to come to her senses and realize Father Satan is our Creator and that Demons definitely don't look like horror monsters at all. 'Psychic nightmares'? I very rarely have pleasant dreams. This is why I prefer to go to sleep very late and can take my time with rituals started around midnight (when I can finally "go to bed" and meditate/do rituals).
You: "For too long I lived in my head and not in true physical reality from these habits, and this bonded a natural habitual connection from my heart chakra to my imagination where reality and material aspects of the base chakra could not be properly perceived in connection."
I'm not too sure on how would work. The heart chakra is usually the easiest for an enemy to attack as it's neutral and I guess it's easier to mingle with 'a bridge' connecting two countries rather than having to deal with the countries themselves. Take out the bridge and you stop the economy and traffic between them, for one thing. Same could be said for the hearth chakra and the upper and lower chakras. I'm also thinking this does indeed have to do with Earth Element, as it makes one more grounded/rooted/aware of the physical, and this has to do with the base chakra indeed. (This is basically what I'm trying to do with Earth Element right now, only this time I'm being super careful and not overdoing like I've always stupidly done...)
You: "The reason why the gods could not help me or get rid of the nightmares, the malevolent energies, the 'psychic attacks', the reason why so much horrible shit would spiral out of control for me, why I had struggled so severely to see clarity, why so much 'noise' on the astral and in my head was going on all the time, it was all my own doing."
Suddenly I am thinking of how the Egyptian Gods painted on walls cross and protect their heart chakra. I'm also kind of thinking of the whole distance between 1st and 7th chakras (the Sushumna line) as a physical 'pipe'. Think of energy as water and of the heart chakra as the only point in this pipe where you can place of remove a cork. We usually do the Awakening the Chakras exercises starting with the upper chakras and going down/lower to the 1st one.
Try thinking of this 'pipe' as a pipe that fills up with opposite gravity, water enters the head first and as the pipe fills up the water level "rises downward", moving toward the base chakra. What happens if there is a hole in the middle? Water won't make it past the heart chakra.
So you put the cork in the hold and seal the leak. Energetically this is probably analogous to opening and closing the heart chakra at will, we have a page on this in the JoS, I guess this is a suitable example for how to use it.
Once that is done, you can let the water flow downward and reach the 1st chakra.
Ok, I'm going to visualize this further just in case this makes any sense to you and helps you (and me, possibly) realize more.
Say that this 'water' reaches the 1st chakra. The 1st chakra is the ground, the root, the place where this Serpent shaped 'flower' is coiled and stored away for later... Water bathes the ground. When it does, energy fills the entire pipe, clearing it of all obstructions, making it a safe place for the Serpent shaped 'flower' to grow to its adulthood. The heart chakra is well sealed and nothing can enter without your consent. No parasites to infect this perfect place, no negative thoughts or energies to 'connect' with you and steal the Serpents' place.
I know it sounded probably more stupid or childish than intended but I hope it delivers the message I'm trying to get to. I guess this is ALSO why xianity encourages everyone to OPEN the heart... it leaks badly and not only ultimately prevents Kundalini from rising, but creates an easily violable space for corruption to infect the Soul.
Talk about motherfuckers.....
You: "that amount of stress for years can do a number on the health of the physical heart (and heart chakra in mirror as well) I'm sure..."
I wanted to elaborate a little on this. There have been times lately that I felt..... like I was about to have a heart attack or something. This isn't the first time it happened. Two years ago I was a mess. Not only a dear family member was dying but (perhaps in order to escape that stress) I ended up in a 'mental' (in every sense, not that I think about it) relationship with a complete psychotic sociopath. She obviously was well educated and knew exactly what to say to make me believe she could help me unblock myself and reach Father Satan faster, so I quickly enough became her little thrall. The emotional abuse I suffered was so crushing I wondered about suicide... but let me tell you, it was REALLY really hard to let go of her. I was psychically attacked one night, I could feel tendrils brushing and 'hooking' my brain, I was sure I was closer to death than life, but I also discovered I didn't really want to die. I thought of Father Satan, of how I would disappoint him if I just let go of life, and of the Demons that had showed themselves to me, trusting me. I couldn't lose this this. So I revamped my energy, detached everything that was trying to grasp me and whatever this shit was finally let go of me. It/they did try to hook me back, but I felt these 'tendrils' or probes or whatever they were as powerless, as pointlessly waving without getting anywhere close to me.
My heart at that time was severely tested, I did feel like this was what it felt like to die, the fear, the complete inability to do anything to prevent it, but in the end.. fuck it, I'm still ticking, bitches.
Stress..... stress is a powerful weapon, Brother. Influence an enemy's army with fear and doubt and your opponent can't possibly win (I've been reading a lot of Sun Tzu). Invalidate the cause of your stress and you have nothing left to fear from it.
You: "These past few weeks, the way I've seen the world around me has been completely different, I can actually
see the physical plane around me without it feeling like some kind of blur or fog is in the way, and in that proper tie to the actual material realm I've had my own conscious been able to expand in awareness to beyond what my physical sight sees, as in my psychic conscious is actually on the level of reality and I've felt aware of physical locations or places on the other side of the damn planet even. It's difficult to explain but I've never felt any of this before or seen everything around me this way in the near decade I've been on this path."
This is when I decided to start answering before reading all of what you wrote.
Over the last couple of days... well, not very much, but there have been moments here and there... I felt reality was... how the fuck am I going to describe this now... 'Different' will tell you nothing really. Ok, let's say this. I think I realized what it's actually like to have no Earth in my chart. I "have no Earth". Meaning, I am here, but I am not here completely. I lack the physical. I do still have a physical body and can interact with anything physical, but I don't feel like I 'am' here. :/ Does that make any sense at all?
I also realized how it is that my magick seems weak, other than in some moments, or other than when used on people that can actually grip the astral better than most, whether they like or not, or whether they know it or not. I've also met those that were 'physically' psychic but didn't know the first thing about magick, had no interest in it, but were potentially very good candidates to becoming my 'experimental subjects' (I've never used magick on someone that asked me not to do it anymore after an initial consensual test of course... I guess I should review my own decision regarding enemies that otherwise only damage me, there's never shortage of those it seems).
Back on topic....
By missing Earth (and having been trying to restore it in my Soul at a slower pace, intending to fix my Soul once and for all, no matter if it takes weeks or months of a year or more) I miss the 'link' to the physical, and this means that I cannot 'physically' interact magickally. This is most likely why my workings have been failing. I remember the precise moment when I was trying Telekinesis again and felt stupid and powerless as it didn't move the paper thing, and how it felt so different, more magnetic, when I decided to try and connect the upper and lower with the hearth chakra and made the paper thing fall. The heart chakra connects upper and lower, but there can't be Electric without Magnetic and vice versa. I think I'm starting to understand why each chakra has one Element, they all have to work together in order to make the Soul unleash its true potential in the form of abilities (for now, it's definitely going to be much more than 'abilities' once one passes a certain point).
I don't know what you felt reality as, what you're feeling it as right now, but I can tell you're 'more complete' than you've probably ever been (in this life at least).
You: "Now the obstacle here is how strong that tie of the heart chakra to the upper chakras is. I still feel it naturally pull out of habit my perception to 'in my head' and looking out through practically these 'goggles' of perception in disclarity, it's like being pulled into a veil and usually past habits like watching movies, videos, fantasy things or even in spending too much time on electronic devices can cause it to 'trigger' or 'activate' like that again. For the most part I've been avoiding such triggers at large, I don't watch movies anymore and despite haven't even touched upon the indulgence of a video game on my PC (biggest trigger), and only give my most focus and attention to when I'm doing something physical such as my exercise routine or yoga sessions."
I can't tell you how much I relate to this.
Triggers like that work on your ability to visualize more, think more, I might say enjoy art more... but it's blind sided, as you put it.
Trust me when I say I know how much that world, even a PC videogame, can be alluring as I am trying to only 'use it for good'. In this case I'm revisiting my past as a martial artist and learning more about actual martial arts' styles I haven't studied much or for long from videogames that feature motion capture actors impressing them on a character.. one of these styles in particular, Baji Quan/ Hakkyokuken, is an extremely grounding martial art.. almost doesn't even seem like one: there's lower stances, floor stomping, it's a VERY sturdy martial art, yet it seems there's a lot of effectiveness in it (so much that it was chosen and official martial art for the Chinese army among more than 200 candidate arts). And even here, while fully understanding that events and very possibly the Gods, have led me to learn this style years ago when I hadn't even heard of before, I still find myself gawking at less effective but more 'flashy and cool looking' styles, and very possibly styles that I am not so capable in, like Tae Kwon Do and Savate (which use a lot of constant high kicks and leg flexibility I can no longer boast as I haven't trained that aspect much in years).
This is probably analogous to wanting to entertain oneself with videogames or relax watching a movie or something like that. You KNOW what's right for you and what direction you're meant to go, but you still feel attracted to what you used to be because it feels familiar and more part of your comfort zone.
From an Air point of view, I'd almost say that if you hold yourself from playing a game or writing some fantasy chapter of whatever you enjoyed years ago, this could very well feel like you're
limiting yourself right now, that there's "no harm" in wanting to re-explore something your used to do. (Next thing you know, you're hooked and your progress comes to another stop...)
I truly admire your resolve then.
To mention one more thing about the Gods giving me directions to an effective martial arts style for me (I've been "looking for the perfect style" since I was a kid)... I'll put it down as a list as everything seems chained to the previous piece here:
I've been seeing a LOT of "Tiger" and "Crane", everywhere, almost every few hours.
"Tiger and Crane" is the notorious best expression of a style called "Hung Gar", often translated "The Devil's Claw".
Hung Gar is probably the most, or second most (second only to Baji Quan), GROUNDING style in all martial arts, has also a lot to do with internal energy and use of Chi (energy/aura/prana/etc).
And, cherry on top, Hung Gar was the style given to the Earthbending characters in the famous "Avatar: The Last Airbender" show.
Earth and Grounding. It literally couldn't be more obvious to me right now.
This brings in another thought about your chart. You mentioned, if I'm not mistaken, that your weakness is in Water, correct? Stupid question, have you ever tried Qi Gong (aka Chi Kung)? It's ...well, it's technically a martial art, only nobody you can ask today will tell you so. They'll call it "Chinese wellness exercise" or other shit like that. If you look at it it looks very much like T'ai Chi and is performed with very slow movements and control over your breathing. I think HP Maxine mentioned T'ai Chi when talking about people that have naturally raised their energy above the initial level.
The point is: Qi Gong has a peculiar training that makes the spine the healthiest, flexible and it makes energy move through it. This also means that the spine curves and straightens in natural ways that inevitably pass through some stances one wouldn't normally use. You mentioned your stance has improved and aligned your chakras in a way that allowed you to see what you couldn't see before.
I would suggest you try this art and see if it helps you control your spine and abilities more. It's also very fluid and the movements remind me of Water and waterflow... I think it could help you big time. Just my two cents though.
You: The prospect here I've come to seek your opinion of is that because this connection is so powerful and strongly tied, it's like it takes the full space and position of a 'pedestal' where it leaves little to no room for this connection to fully and more properly be in latching to the base chakra and the material plane, only in two rare moments thus far has this connection occurred more properly"
I'm not the best person to ask for advice on something you have been (even slightly) successful with, as I don't feel anywhere near your current level, so what I say you should now take as advice but just a personal view that's based on my own understanding of how things may be.
I do believe you should take more time shielding your heart and actually think of it (the hearth chakra) in terms of 'pipes and holes' and water flowing through them.
I thought of another example later in the day (I had to stop typing and come back to reply to the rest almost half a day later) analogous to the waterflow I wrote above: sunlight, ground and a tree.
The channel that should be unobstructed through meditation and energy work between the 7th and 1st chakras is the space where the sunlight comes from the top and pierces the "root" in the ground, the tree then (Kundalini) rises and grows stronger and bigger until it reaches the 7th chakras and above that, to the 8th and 9th, producing fruits in the form of new abilities that become fully unlocked and free for you to use. But it all comes from the ground/root and until that sunlight can reach the dormant 'seed' Kundalini won't feel the time to grow is right.
That said, if you feel the problem lies in the heart, being too exposed to outer manipulations, to the point of letting problems in and ultimately manipulating you, you should work on it and learn how to open and close it completely at will, so that if something tries to enter it will just slam against a wall.
Right now that's the best I got.. I can't really fathom what you go through, being this the first year I actually felt something in forever, so I wouldn't know how to help you otherwise, other than speculating on what might be the cause and the solution.
You: "I've come to believe strongly that there is no more truth that could be found than what is real, the sheer importance of a proper and balanced connection to the physical plane and base chakra in that context is insurmountable, after all it did show me a life-changing truth of which my imagination never saw once for a decade."
I feel that you've had a good view of something I had only the slightest glimpse of for now, but I realize you're on the right path here. You're probably feeling more complete, balanced and in tune with everything, so it's no surprise your perception is opening up to more than just the dimension everyone else perceive. I'm kind of thinking of you as an instrument that lacks nothing, a body for resonance, cords, bits and pieces to play music, but that you're not yet tuned to make the sounds you're supposed to make... so the few notes that come out right are short and occasional, and don't seem easy to repeat at will, for now. But you will improve. Just give yourself time and keep practicing with the things you already know have worked before.
You: ...about using ISA and feeling the 'zombie in the chest' feeling...
Fucking shit on a stick. This is where I no longer saved the bloody message. -_- Gotta type it, briefly, again.
Here we go...
So, ISA.. I don't have much experience with this rune as I only used it once knowing it causes 'dullness' so in order to avoid it I stopped using it the moment I sensed something duller and my energy harder to be felt.
As for the 'zombies in the chest' feeling...
Have you ever (I know it's a stupid question, gotta ask) moved your entire attention to the inside, the within, and just entered a (light) trance there, feeling yourself only?
Two years ago when I used this method suggested by a psychopath trying to harm me I had success with it, I mentioned it before, the time I 'went down' to the Titanic wreck and felt it. This had to do with a strong method of introspection that focuses solely on things we tend to avoid like the plague: fear and pain. Thing is, fear and pain are also commonly stored in our psyche since mostly childhood and tender years, when our minds get shaped and start growing into adulthood. These fears and pain become sort of crystallized and stick inside, until dealt with.
In my case, I used this method to undo my fear of the sea depths: by going in theta state on the bottom of the sea and opening up my senses (much like you suggested while building and sensing one's own astral temple, "being" there and being aware of it) I became conscious of things I had avoided and missed. This fear removal, in turn, allowed me to link to a few species of fish (much like the Merging Astral Consciousness method in the JoS) and I begun 'feeling the fish', not being scared anymore because they literally live in total fucking darkness, pressed by thousands of liters of water, and eat each other as normally as we turn on our computers.
Today it's not like I'm willing to join James Cameron and go visit the Titanic in a freaking metal bottle but the sea bed is definitely a place on my to-do list for when I can finally astral project and visit the Universe fearlessly.
In your case, by moving your complete attention inward, focusing on almost visually entering your own heart chakra, you may encounter some unresolved issues that need fixing, some past trauma, whatever it is. There may be a cause for this suffering already inside of you, and the enemy (knowing this) takes advantage of it as much as it possibly can, resulting in bad nightmares and whatever you know is happening to you.
(Just remembered a metaphor I used when writing this the first time..)
Remember when HP Maxine described (in the How to enter a trance state page I think) an analogy where you have to turn off the electricity in a building in order to fix the wiring? Try thinking of yourself as a building with a few rooms that have flickering lights. You're trying to change the light bulbs but it's apparently not fixing the problem. So what you need to do is go in the basement and investigate on whatever is causing the lights to malfunction. When you're there the real problem may be apparent.
I know facing one's fear and pain is not an attractive prospect, but Spiritual Satanism is also about being fearless. Anything that stops you in any way HAS to go.
You: "I experienced it very briefly a week ago that feeling of the ego actually being tied more properly to the physical plane and that was when I communicated with Buer. I want that perception and focus more than whatever 'fantasy' the mind can make up, I've always been obsessed with truths, I've always dug hard to find them and I've scrutinized damn near layers upon layers of all kinds of stuff to get to the bottom of things. I'd rather everything real than fake and made up."
I think that 'ego' you felt had very much to do with you BEING balanced, and as little of it as you may have already experienced, I'm sure I had maybe less than a glimpse of so far. Meaning you're already doing a great job at balancing yourself towards evolution. Also, your determination here means a lot. Wanting to find the truth, knowing it, having it, and valuing this as much as you do is certainly something that helps you move forward, keeping you on track to the point of, occasionally, being enough to push you in the right direction itself.
You: "I still eagerly await Lydia's continuation of her yoga series for the rest of the chakras. I've been working on thus far the base and sacral a lot to keep those energies flowing strongly."
Yeah, same here. I was impatient for the crown chakra and upper ones in general at first, but now that I'm set on grounding myself more and fixing my imbalance I feel pretty satisfied with the current one. I'm curious about the heart chakra. If these asanas will help with astral projection in any way, I'll be forever grateful to her.
Hope that helped some, Brother, took me a while to put all that down lol.
HAIL SATAN FOREVER!
PS. Just out of total curiosity... what's your take on the use of all this new technology that's coming in the next few years? I've seen that new post and I must say the idea of xtians and idiots alike (not just jews) playing with it like it's a bunch of toys makes me really uneasy. If anything, I think we should all step back from all the unnecessary technology that flooded the mind of people in the last few decades.. just looking at teens today makes me sick, dug in their instagram and whatever else accounts like it's the secret of life and happiness itself, completely oblivious to the real problems that afflict this world and us. I'm not suggesting we turn off the internet and forget about electricity of course (the internet being the MAIN source of Satanic information and truth for so many) but I feel that to lean on some new 'wonder' would easily create that fixation with all that is technological and new being 'good' and 'only for good use' by too many. Humans, until they discover the spiritual life again, are definitely not ready to be given even more potentially very harmful toys. (I've had visions of this happening and it would be a total disaster.. hope they never come true.)
That said, I would definitely welcome technologies that actually make our lives easier, cheaper, less consuming, less or no destructive for the environment, and able to give us more time to meditate and evolve.
P.P.S.: Holy fuck, this message took me ages to complete and I'm pretty sure I missed something. I hope it can at least partially help you. Now... to face my fears and hit the "Submit" button... :roll: