F_For_Flamingo
Member
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2020
- Messages
- 275
A important heads up: I am writing this minutes after I had this insight, so while evereything I wrote makes sense for me, for you it might come off as incoherent gibberish.
The past few months went by like in a dream. Time was moving so fast. I have been meditating daily but something felt off. So many synchronicities were happening around me and even though I witnessed them and logicaly understood that they were happening I could not feel them. It was as if I was not there.
Tonight it became clear to me where the issue was. I was living in the future constantly.
The term "living in the moment" is something that has been on my mind for years. Never could I truly understand what it meant, I "lived" that sensation from time to time, only for a few minutes and sometimes it were seconds but it felt like a blissful eternity. But now when I was unable to feel it I finally understood it.
I was not present when doing the Rtr's, while i was doing them i was thinking of the returning curses rituals, while I was doing the returning curses rituals I was thinking of going to my job, when I was at my job I was thinking of the Rtr's I had to do when i came home, and so on and so on in a continuous endless loop.
But now im present. Evereything im doing im trying to focus on it. My mind is trying to wander off somewhere else, but I bring it back every time. Time is moving "normal" again and I feel alive.
This was deffinetley influenced by the fact that I recently incresed the lenght of my vibrations from 2 seconds to 7-8 seconds( a big thanks to Demonic, Lydia and Stormblood as the thread they were writing on helped me make the change), forcing me to be more present while chanting.
I am off to meditate now to try to cement this understanding.
Hail Father Satan!
Hail Mother Lilith!
Hail Teacher Biffrons!
Hail Guardian!
The past few months went by like in a dream. Time was moving so fast. I have been meditating daily but something felt off. So many synchronicities were happening around me and even though I witnessed them and logicaly understood that they were happening I could not feel them. It was as if I was not there.
Tonight it became clear to me where the issue was. I was living in the future constantly.
The term "living in the moment" is something that has been on my mind for years. Never could I truly understand what it meant, I "lived" that sensation from time to time, only for a few minutes and sometimes it were seconds but it felt like a blissful eternity. But now when I was unable to feel it I finally understood it.
I was not present when doing the Rtr's, while i was doing them i was thinking of the returning curses rituals, while I was doing the returning curses rituals I was thinking of going to my job, when I was at my job I was thinking of the Rtr's I had to do when i came home, and so on and so on in a continuous endless loop.
But now im present. Evereything im doing im trying to focus on it. My mind is trying to wander off somewhere else, but I bring it back every time. Time is moving "normal" again and I feel alive.
This was deffinetley influenced by the fact that I recently incresed the lenght of my vibrations from 2 seconds to 7-8 seconds( a big thanks to Demonic, Lydia and Stormblood as the thread they were writing on helped me make the change), forcing me to be more present while chanting.
I am off to meditate now to try to cement this understanding.
Hail Father Satan!
Hail Mother Lilith!
Hail Teacher Biffrons!
Hail Guardian!
