I knew I'd be told, "Apologies are for the weak." If I could find solutions, be sure I wouldn't be asking for support here. We are each different and we have to help each other. I'm disappointed and I'm honest, I really can't, I'd give anything to do regular rituals, but I can't... . I would choose tetragrammaton because rtr is from 2018 , I have worked actively on this fact and those who are in my situation , can make tetragrammaton , others can continue regularly and so the energy would be more beneficial. I would still like to know if I'm doing it right.