Devilinside
New member
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2024
- Messages
- 32
After I was granted some Wisdom by april I choose to do some work and went to go void mediate before I did some yoga.
I was having trouble focusing due to some noise and saw it as a mental challenge to push myself. I focused in on Father Satans Sigil to help bring my focus. I opened up my void meditation by speaking the starting phrase with the standard ritual. "In Nomine Dei Nostri Satanas, Luciferi Excelsi." I did so I'm not exactly sure why but I do so love that phrase. I adore the way the language feels to me. Anyways I spoke it and gave thanks to april for having giving me wisdom and because of doing so pushed me into doing some work.
I focused in on Father Satans Sigil and it helped bring me focus. I felt buzzing in my forehead (third eye I believe) and I got a stronger sense of focus than I had without doing so. I focused but when I visualized myself sitting in front of it towering very high above me with smoke all around, like wafting gas that was both coming from and just around the base of the sigil while seeing myself in front of it mentally I lost focus.
After a bit Thoths Shenu Protection Ring popped in my head and even though I could not visualize every single detail I knew what it was and I went with it.
I focused in on it and started having body twitches and a deeper sense of calm and rolled with it before I imagined it flowing into my skull. I remembered I said the Sap of Thoths wisdom today on the forums and it felt correct to associate it with that. It kept going and going until I had this sense of falling. I knew I would fall into what was behind me if I did it so I tried too keep myself up right and I kept getting that sense.
I stayed still as best I could but than become fearful. Scared of what might happen should I just let go and keep going. By doing so I lost visualization.
I had quite a bit of feelings going on and right afterwards I felt like I didn't wanna do anything. I wanted to eat before hand and felt the need much stronger after.
What happened?
From what I can gather and deduce it was either enemy programming or my mind reeling and not wanting to experience the new sensation due to not having felt it before. I remember reading about how the mind can react due to not knowing what's going on but I am unsure right now and feeling unsure of myself.
Also was it wrong to focus in on the ring? I know it is Sacred but it popped in my head of it's own accord and so I rolled with it. I know it was doing something but me but was I being blasphemous to Thoth? I had no ill will or anything of the kind it just popped in so I focused and felt myself naturally breathing in it's bounty but I've no idea if that was good or not. I don't wish to offend nor presume I've any right to the energies there gathered.
Actually right now while asking it inside my head I'm feeling a sense of no that it was not wrong and I felt a touch on my sixth Charka again or what I interpret as that. I feel if that is right and that I should be confident in that guidance but at the same time arrogance is a clever thing. If this was disrespectful I would like to know. Obvious this isn't question many can answer giving the serious nature of the Gods Rituals so if someone learned can guide me I'd appreciate it.
I feel as if this right and that I should even ask to know to show faith: I did so and it came up when I asked to show itself trice with a coinflip what it was. I was having trouble at first until I focused in on the sigil in my minds eye and I got the answer right away that it was ok for me to.
I post this here because I still feel that I should for any insight or wisdom into what happened that I'm missing or understanding or merely to told that I should instead just meditate over it to try and figure it out myself.
I was having trouble focusing due to some noise and saw it as a mental challenge to push myself. I focused in on Father Satans Sigil to help bring my focus. I opened up my void meditation by speaking the starting phrase with the standard ritual. "In Nomine Dei Nostri Satanas, Luciferi Excelsi." I did so I'm not exactly sure why but I do so love that phrase. I adore the way the language feels to me. Anyways I spoke it and gave thanks to april for having giving me wisdom and because of doing so pushed me into doing some work.
I focused in on Father Satans Sigil and it helped bring me focus. I felt buzzing in my forehead (third eye I believe) and I got a stronger sense of focus than I had without doing so. I focused but when I visualized myself sitting in front of it towering very high above me with smoke all around, like wafting gas that was both coming from and just around the base of the sigil while seeing myself in front of it mentally I lost focus.
After a bit Thoths Shenu Protection Ring popped in my head and even though I could not visualize every single detail I knew what it was and I went with it.
I focused in on it and started having body twitches and a deeper sense of calm and rolled with it before I imagined it flowing into my skull. I remembered I said the Sap of Thoths wisdom today on the forums and it felt correct to associate it with that. It kept going and going until I had this sense of falling. I knew I would fall into what was behind me if I did it so I tried too keep myself up right and I kept getting that sense.
I stayed still as best I could but than become fearful. Scared of what might happen should I just let go and keep going. By doing so I lost visualization.
I had quite a bit of feelings going on and right afterwards I felt like I didn't wanna do anything. I wanted to eat before hand and felt the need much stronger after.
What happened?
From what I can gather and deduce it was either enemy programming or my mind reeling and not wanting to experience the new sensation due to not having felt it before. I remember reading about how the mind can react due to not knowing what's going on but I am unsure right now and feeling unsure of myself.
Also was it wrong to focus in on the ring? I know it is Sacred but it popped in my head of it's own accord and so I rolled with it. I know it was doing something but me but was I being blasphemous to Thoth? I had no ill will or anything of the kind it just popped in so I focused and felt myself naturally breathing in it's bounty but I've no idea if that was good or not. I don't wish to offend nor presume I've any right to the energies there gathered.
Actually right now while asking it inside my head I'm feeling a sense of no that it was not wrong and I felt a touch on my sixth Charka again or what I interpret as that. I feel if that is right and that I should be confident in that guidance but at the same time arrogance is a clever thing. If this was disrespectful I would like to know. Obvious this isn't question many can answer giving the serious nature of the Gods Rituals so if someone learned can guide me I'd appreciate it.
I feel as if this right and that I should even ask to know to show faith: I did so and it came up when I asked to show itself trice with a coinflip what it was. I was having trouble at first until I focused in on the sigil in my minds eye and I got the answer right away that it was ok for me to.
I post this here because I still feel that I should for any insight or wisdom into what happened that I'm missing or understanding or merely to told that I should instead just meditate over it to try and figure it out myself.
