Spiritual Healing from lingering effects of Past Drug Abuse

[darkmonkey666]

I think I should post that topic here. Maybe there is an herb that reverses the brain effects in a physical way that must cause these issues.

The past drugs I abused were Alchohol Benzos Crack and Heroin.

I am for certain the emotional effects was the benzos. I havent touched those hard drugs since I came back to Satan last year can someone tell me why I have dreams where I am using them and still get this odd temptation to go out and buy them.

Thats one thing. Next is the effects of benzos. I ended up using those for many years this all did start when neptune transitted my Ascendant along with some other really wierd stuff around that time. I invoked Neptune for awhile before the second incident that happened with drugs. That was a big mistake. I had gotten off of benzos but on alchohol at the time.

I advanced a lot this year cause I wasnt using the drugs. Before it didnt matter how much I meditated i didnt make much progress. I think though it still may have helped me grow more now cause I did open my chakras and stuff.

So this is part of the reason I dont really fully consider myself as a Satanist till June 20th of last year it is so odd cause I felt this strong pull. I was praying to shitangel Michael at the time fearing myself always being a slave to angels praying they wouldnt make me suffer if I served them like for a couple years I was held hostage. Then all of a sudden I started thinking of Enki and wanting to be on his side. I created this account almost right before the final rtr was posted. So thats an interesting story. I did it often mutiple times pretty much every day since then and have been serious with meditating and advancing.

Now I want to heal from this.

The effects from benzos is kind of shallow emotions blunted when I was using the street drugs kind of no emotions. I cannot be as powerful unless I figure out how to heal this or as enjoying of life. I do feel things but in a detached way. I will work on elements like that other post. I feel earth and water is needed i will take it slow

Anything else. You guys can suggest. My energy is much better after a lot of cleansing now. I may use Sun in Leo to cleanse my soul with the square as well. That did help but it didnt heal all this. I am wondering what will. Nothing is unfixable. Origionally I was a very deep feeling person I have cancer moon btw. I wonder if this is some defense mechanism from that from what i read it may be.

 

[Aquarius]

Do a soul freeing working in my opinion

 

[darkmonkey666]

Oh and the other thing I want to ask is is there some way to sublimate Neptune energy in a positive way. Neptune will be in my first house for awhile longer. Anyways I already had a bunch of issues with being taken advantage of before that as pisces is fully in my first house. I tend to immediately want to help everyone. That is how I got suckered in by those drug people. Into eventually trying it cause I was around it so much. I wanted to be a savior figure orgionally and hated people who used drugs and change them by taking them off the street and I guess teach them about meditation and stuff I cant fully remember my mindset back then.

Anyways I wont bore you with that but I need help with that issue as well. I still kind of just dream about life and have trouble figuring out any practical thing to do.

I know as soon as probably neptune changes signs or leaves my first house this issues will just be me being somewhat sensitive in social situations again but no problematic stuff like it was before this. Oddly as soon as this Neptune first went exact on my ascendant I got taken advantage of by some people sexually in my area it was in quick succession and I first ended up trying Marajuanna. Then I got given those pills etc and issue after issue started popping up in my life it kind of went to Chaos until the last year or so. But that energy is there still.

I kind of want my old self back before this transit and before I even tried drugs. I dont know why cause I absolutely hate the energy of some of those drugs in my system and what it does to me but I feel nostelga for this and almost want to go out and do drugs again. I mean its not hard to get them and that is a problem for me but what stops me is I want to advance and be part of the New world a part of history not a loser that has to get reincarnated later if at all and start over with meditations.

 

[Centralforce666]

Continue meditating. This in and of itself will help to sublimated Neptune's influence as Neptune rules meditation.

Eventually, your life force will. Increase to a point where your mind and spirit will start to heal and your emotions will return with depth.

Invoke the sun and work on your solar chakra to improve will power and maintain your position of restraint when it comes to substances which affect the mind.

 

[darkmonkey666]

Thanks a lot i forgot to add also this messed up my visualization skills a lot I am getting a little better at that (i was pretty good before this) is there any meditations that would help with this.