Serious problems with break up

[DarkAmaranthine]

I've been a Satanist for a while now... even if I haven't been active on the forums.

But I'm in a situation that... begs for help. Not directly. Just... advice and emotional help.

I've been struggling a lot with my life. University and spiritualism. Until recent years, I was a workaholic and always based my achievements on what I can do. Nothing else. And now...

Now that I'm failing, I feel like I have no value. But the only thing that was going perfectly fine was my relationship.

We've been together for two years. After my mother and the Gods, he's the person I love the most. He's... my heart. I trusted him so, so much. We were doing so well.

Well, a week ago he went to a New Years party. After that... he changed. He told me half of his family is high risk with covid. Dying. He said that he wants us to take a break - in which we agreed we are still, officially, in a relationship -. I helped him so much with university throughout these two years. Even this week, I did... everything for him. Knowing his life must be a struggle at the moment.

Tonight, I just... realized some things he said didn't match. I have a pretty strong intuition. And my intuition has been saying, for a week, that something is horribly, horribly wrong. I don't know what impulse made me check out his discord - I know it's wrong, but I do have his most used passwords thanks to helping him with uni so much - and...

I saw everything. He's been in a relationship since the 4th of February with another girl. A girl I know. He lied to her that... we broke up. I saw the texts with his best friend, planning this stuff.

There's so much. So much... betrayal. So many wrong and hurtful things. Even now, he lies and tries to save his ass by saying we did break up.

We've been talking this time. I've been sending him homework. And messages of encouragement. He's been calling me almost daily.

I sent her screenshots of everything and she realized... what happened.

His lie is over. Everything is over. The man I trusted and loved so much. The man I was hoping to marry. Every relationship I had until now ended because of infidelity on their part.

I've been failing quite a lot in every aspect of my life. Except this one.

And his infidelity sent... every last piece of self-esteem and self-worth down the drain. I feel empty. I feel broken. I feel like... I'm nothing.

I've done so much for this relationship. I've given every last bit of my heart. I wasn't perfect. But I've been doing my best to improve for him. To maintain this relationship.

And we were doing so well. Our relationship was doing so good. And then...

I've had trust issues... for a very long time. But I trusted him. Until this feeling of dread and of... "something IS happening" pushed me to check his discord. It was just TOO strong. I knew something was wrong. The whole week has been a... build up to this.

And now I'm left broken. I don't know how I'm going to tell my mother or... how I'm going to recover from this.

Besides that, I have problems in my family as well. My uncle is an alcoholic and tends to get abusive. My mother is also an alcoholic and seeing her drink herself to death every death just... affects me in horrible ways.

I would love some advice, to be honest. Not for revenge. I'm... not interested in that right now.

Advice for how to... improve myself spiritually and raise from this point in my life. Because I've hit the lowest point in my life and I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to recover from this.

 

[Jack]

I'm sorry for what has happened to you. It's not your fault and you don't deserve what happened to you. But this is the only something in life that doesn't have rules or patterns. When you put your trust in someone else they may break it and when you give your mantle to someone else to take charge, they might abandon you. Intelligent high iq people who deserve more than others may suffer heartbreak which low iq people might not. It's all about who you got lucky with or who was attracted to you.

I have learnt that you cannot find happiness and fulfillment through others ,especially romantically. You can only keep moving forward while focusing on the Spiritual path and whatever happens besides that happens but it doesn't really matter that much. Having that mindset will shield you from unnecessary heartbreak. Don't open yourself up for being taken advantage of.

 

[MercuryWisdom]

Hey, sister.

I am sorrry to hear this. But I am sure you can overcome it.

I know how it feels to be in the lowest point in your life. But I also know that you can always remove yourself from this swamp by your effort and hard work alone.

Here's what you need to do.

-Meditate:
You need to meditate daily. This will help clean you of negative influences and increase your personal power. With your spiritual power you can achieve anything whether it's cutting ties with that piece of shit or getting your dream job. Meditation will make you healthy and clean.

-Get closer to father Satan:
Father Satan is the best father you can ever have. Vent to him and talk to him with everything you are feeling with all your worries and stress. He will listen, support you and try to guide you and help you out.

-Cut ties:
When you find a good date do a working to cut ties with that person and do freeing your soul working from him. This will help you completely get over him so you can focus on your future and have better relationships.

-Study and start being successful:
I know you've been going through a tough time. But now you've hit the lowest point in your life. Now you either get up or you stay down. It's your choice. If you choose to get up then you need to become a workaholic again and start succeeding once more so you can be proud of yourself. Focus on your studies and study hard. Also, focus on your career and try to find ways to get a good career that can help you succeed.

-Take care of yourself and start feeling pretty again:
Take care of your hygiene, your self-care and try to make yourself pretty and healthy. Try to start working out or do yoga. Make him regret leaving you! But at the same time don't make it your main focus you are not doing this for him, you are doing it for you! If he does regret it and he wants you back never get back to him. He doesn't deserve you and someone who cheated once, will cheat twice and thrice.

This venus retrograde has been brutal for all of us but I am glad you know the truth instead of being decieved anymore.

You are a child of Satan and you are special. Believe me you deserve better but first you are gonna have to work on yourself to get a better and more faithful partner. Someone who truly deserves your awesomeness.

Hail Satan!!

 

[Username]

First and foremost, the Gods and the people reading this are with you. We hear what you say and are saddened to hear about this. I won't say that we understand the kind of pain you are going through but I do want to say that we do hear you, are with you and that you are not alone.

I have admiration towards you for juggling through university and spiritual Satanism. You are someone hardworking and I hold you in respect for that because I myself haven't been into a Uni for years now.

Now that I'm failing, I feel like I have no value. But the only thing that was going perfectly fine was my relationship.

Sister, please do not say this. You are valuable to the Gods and to us even if you think otherwise. Your value shouldn't be decided by cheap people's betrayal but by you yourself as an individual. To be honest, from what I feel by reading this post, you are exactly the kind of women that men want in their lives but can only dream about it. That said, you do need to take this as a lesson to grow. You invested your love, loyalty and trust in someone who is worthless and cheap. Do reflect back and see where, when and how you were wrong and improve accordingly.

Every relationship I had until now ended because of infidelity on their part.

This sounds like a karmic issue or something similar. Do Munka x108 working for at least 40 days, 90 if you really want to get rid this karma once and for all. If you haven't already, at least start Hatha yoga. Kundalini yoga too if you can manage time for that which I advise you to do so as it is said that it burns karma.

Take a look at this:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=66328&p=311254&hilit=Yoga+burns+karma&sid=7dd7d3ddb79063722de826c4cd4f5536#p311254

There is valuable knowledge and useful affirmation to be found in the exchange between the two members, both of which whom I trust highly. Also see the part about mental hang-ups.

Also see VoE's experience here:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=54410&p=247650&hilit=ansuz+detach#p247650
Reading VoE's experience would be helpful if you plan to do detachment exercises in the advanced section.

I would recommend you to do two workings at magic dates. First is Munka working to get rid of negative karma and another is Ansuz to detach yourself form him once and for all. There's this page about detaching yourself from unwanted people inside power meditation page on the advanced section but I do not know if you should do this over Ansuz working. The reason being that its in the advanced section.

https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Words-of-Power.html

Begin this working at the waning part of the full moon.
Munka, morning after sunrise( learn about planetary hours) daily x108 times for at least 40 days.
1. Raise your energies: https://archive.fo/nLuwC
2. Vibrate Munka 108 times.
3. Affirm 9 times: "I am now totally free to have a happy and fulfilling love relationship with whomever I consciously desire in my present life right now."

At evening, do this:
Working To Remove Negative People From Your Life

START: Waning Moon in Scorpio, Pisces or Capricorn. The best time to start this is as close to the new moon as possible. Never start this working during the Void of Course moon.

1. Raise your energies: https://archive.fo/nLuwC
2. Vibrate ANSUZ 40 times.
3. Affirm 9 times:"In a positive and healthy manner for me, I am eternally free from 'Name of your past bf'"

Do this for 40 days, 80 days or 90 days.

How to pronounce ANSUZ and THURISAZ: https://mega.nz/#!9Ag1VRLb1pjN3bkQJVT8R ... VMXFwUQwws

How to pronounce MUNKA: https://archive.is/87FxL

I copy pasted and then edited this from:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=54768&p=242350&hilit=list+of#p242350

Check the Satanic calendar. 25 January is a good day to start both the workings as pointed out in the Satanic calendar. However, that is for my region and it could be either 24th or 26 th January for your region. The correct date for can be found by checking the calendar for your region. Visit jos-astro.com

It is said that one should only do maximum of two workings to prevent the dilution of energies. The reason I tell you to do one working at morning after sunrise and at evening or night is to prevent dilution and also taking account of the fact that you go to university. I saw a post about HP Hooded Cobra saying that dilution is prevented if there is a minimum gap of a few hours between each workings. A few hours would be 2-3 hours. If you can manage time, then do the workings with the said gap. If not, do one working at morning and the other at evening after coming back home from Uni and after taking sufficient rest.

It is very important to do workings for each day after sunrise. A new magickal day begins always after sunrise, not after 12 AM. Which means if you did a working a little before sunrise, it wouldn't be counted for the new day. Its same as doing the working two times a day. I ask you to research about this on the forums. I am not sure about this part myself either but better to be safe. I would do the working at least 10-20 min after sunrise to secure myself from any inaccuracies.

About the dilution part, if it happens that you couldn't do one working at morning, then do not stress about it. You can do both workings back to back with 10-20 min gap at the evening or at any time of the day. Do not stress about the dilution part. Follow it if you can, if not, then do both workings at evening. Regardless, never skip any days.

Besides that, I have problems in my family as well. My uncle is an alcoholic and tends to get abusive. My mother is also an alcoholic and seeing her drink herself to death every death just... affects me in horrible ways.

Ask the Gods for guidance regarding this part. I once read that no Satanist should take any kind of abuse written by HPS Maxine. To be honest, I am conflicted to advise you to start binding your uncle or if to do the workings. However, if his abuse is serious and needs attention, skip the detaching exercise and begin the binding and munka working at 25th of January(Again, check the Satanic calendar for your region. It might not really be 25th for your region but either 24th or 26th.)
I will tell you this, you shouldn't be complacent with any kind of abuse or think that its normal. Any and all forms of abuse should be rooted out from your life once and for all. If the abuse is physical, call the cops on him without any hesitation or fear of consequences.

Ask for guidance from the Gods or Sir Satan by visualizing their respective sigils.Also, sincerely ask for guidance in general.
For binding:
https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Binding_Spell.html
Skip the poppit part if its not viable or feasible. Do vibrations and affirmation.

Advice for how to... improve myself spiritually and raise from this point in my life. Because I've hit the lowest point in my life and I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to recover from this.

You need to develop a strict Satanic routine of Yoga, void meditation, aop, aoc and warfare daily if you plan to spiritually uplift yourself. Recover from what you are going through and once you have done so, start following the routine. You might skip some days. However, the important thing is to never give up and start following the routine again.
Sister, you are absolutely going to recover from this. I have faith in you and believe in you that you will. Remember that you are not alone and we are always there for you when you fall. We will always help you get back up but you also need to put effort for yourself.

Good luck to you dear sister, I hope for you a well recovery.
Do not hesitate to quote me or anybody else if you need any kind of help or want to ask some question no matter how trivial, would be happy if you did.
Take care.

 

[Fuchs]

I've been a Satanist for a while now... even if I haven't been active on the forums.

But I'm in a situation that... begs for help. Not directly. Just... advice and emotional help.

I've been struggling a lot with my life. University and spiritualism. Until recent years, I was a workaholic and always based my achievements on what I can do. Nothing else. And now...

Now that I'm failing, I feel like I have no value. But the only thing that was going perfectly fine was my relationship.

We've been together for two years. After my mother and the Gods, he's the person I love the most. He's... my heart. I trusted him so, so much. We were doing so well.

Well, a week ago he went to a New Years party. After that... he changed. He told me half of his family is high risk with covid. Dying. He said that he wants us to take a break - in which we agreed we are still, officially, in a relationship -. I helped him so much with university throughout these two years. Even this week, I did... everything for him. Knowing his life must be a struggle at the moment.

Tonight, I just... realized some things he said didn't match. I have a pretty strong intuition. And my intuition has been saying, for a week, that something is horribly, horribly wrong. I don't know what impulse made me check out his discord - I know it's wrong, but I do have his most used passwords thanks to helping him with uni so much - and...

I saw everything. He's been in a relationship since the 4th of February with another girl. A girl I know. He lied to her that... we broke up. I saw the texts with his best friend, planning this stuff.

There's so much. So much... betrayal. So many wrong and hurtful things. Even now, he lies and tries to save his ass by saying we did break up.

We've been talking this time. I've been sending him homework. And messages of encouragement. He's been calling me almost daily.

I sent her screenshots of everything and she realized... what happened.

His lie is over. Everything is over. The man I trusted and loved so much. The man I was hoping to marry. Every relationship I had until now ended because of infidelity on their part.

I've been failing quite a lot in every aspect of my life. Except this one.

And his infidelity sent... every last piece of self-esteem and self-worth down the drain. I feel empty. I feel broken. I feel like... I'm nothing.

I've done so much for this relationship. I've given every last bit of my heart. I wasn't perfect. But I've been doing my best to improve for him. To maintain this relationship.

And we were doing so well. Our relationship was doing so good. And then...

I've had trust issues... for a very long time. But I trusted him. Until this feeling of dread and of... "something IS happening" pushed me to check his discord. It was just TOO strong. I knew something was wrong. The whole week has been a... build up to this.

And now I'm left broken. I don't know how I'm going to tell my mother or... how I'm going to recover from this.

Besides that, I have problems in my family as well. My uncle is an alcoholic and tends to get abusive. My mother is also an alcoholic and seeing her drink herself to death every death just... affects me in horrible ways.

I would love some advice, to be honest. Not for revenge. I'm... not interested in that right now.

Advice for how to... improve myself spiritually and raise from this point in my life. Because I've hit the lowest point in my life and I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to recover from this.

I´m sorry for your loss, of your relationship. Know you can always approach the gods/Satan talk to them/fokus on thear sigils they will hear you and try to help, as best as they can, they are always there for us when we need them.

My personal opinion:
If he did lye to you since the 4 February last year (nearly one year) about beeing in a relationship with a other girl, keeping you, so you could help him with university this is unforgivabel. I would totally cut contact to him. You are a girl, there are thousands of good trustworthy men outthere who don´t have a girlfriend. You could do a love working to find your perfect partner.

About your family you can bind them from drinking alcohol or being abusive with a ISA rune working, just adjust the affirmation and look for a good date in the SS Calendar 2022 no void of course moon. Start with the person you think does or would cause you the most trouble (your mother probably). Do it 40 days straight.

ISA Rune working you can do less reps like 18 40 or 88 :
https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=53865

 

[Fuchs]

First and foremost, the Gods and the people reading this are with you. We hear what you say and are saddened to hear about this. I won't say that we understand the kind of pain you are going through but I do want to say that we do hear you, are with you and that you are not alone.

I have admiration towards you for juggling through university and spiritual Satanism. You are someone hardworking and I hold you in respect for that because I myself haven't been into a Uni for years now.

Now that I'm failing, I feel like I have no value. But the only thing that was going perfectly fine was my relationship.

Sister, please do not say this. You are valuable to the Gods and to us even if you think otherwise. Your value shouldn't be decided by cheap people's betrayal but by you yourself as an individual. To be honest, from what I feel by reading this post, you are exactly the kind of women that men want in their lives but can only dream about it. That said, you do need to take this as a lesson to grow. You invested your love, loyalty and trust in someone who is worthless and cheap. Do reflect back and see where, when and how you were wrong and improve accordingly.

Every relationship I had until now ended because of infidelity on their part.

This sounds like a karmic issue or something similar. Do Munka x108 working for at least 40 days, 90 if you really want to get rid this karma once and for all. If you haven't already, at least start Hatha yoga. Kundalini yoga too if you can manage time for that which I advise you to do so as it is said that it burns karma.

Take a look at this:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=66328&p=311254&hilit=Yoga+burns+karma&sid=7dd7d3ddb79063722de826c4cd4f5536#p311254

There is valuable knowledge and useful affirmation to be found in the exchange between the two members, both of which whom I trust highly. Also see the part about mental hang-ups.

Also see VoE's experience here:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=54410&p=247650&hilit=ansuz+detach#p247650
Reading VoE's experience would be helpful if you plan to do detachment exercises in the advanced section.

I would recommend you to do two workings at magic dates. First is Munka working to get rid of negative karma and another is Ansuz to detach yourself form him once and for all. There's this page about detaching yourself from unwanted people inside power meditation page on the advanced section but I do not know if you should do this over Ansuz working. The reason being that its in the advanced section.

https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Words-of-Power.html

Begin this working at the waning part of the full moon.
Munka, morning after sunrise( learn about planetary hours) daily x108 times for at least 40 days.
1. Raise your energies: https://archive.fo/nLuwC
2. Vibrate Munka 108 times.
3. Affirm 9 times: "I am now totally free to have a happy and fulfilling love relationship with whomever I consciously desire in my present life right now."

At evening, do this:
Working To Remove Negative People From Your Life

START: Waning Moon in Scorpio, Pisces or Capricorn. The best time to start this is as close to the new moon as possible. Never start this working during the Void of Course moon.

1. Raise your energies: https://archive.fo/nLuwC
2. Vibrate ANSUZ 40 times.
3. Affirm 9 times:"In a positive and healthy manner for me, I am eternally free from 'Name of your past bf'"

Do this for 40 days, 80 days or 90 days.

How to pronounce ANSUZ and THURISAZ: https://mega.nz/#!9Ag1VRLb1pjN3bkQJVT8R ... VMXFwUQwws

How to pronounce MUNKA: https://archive.is/87FxL

I copy pasted and then edited this from:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=54768&p=242350&hilit=list+of#p242350

Check the Satanic calendar. 25 January is a good day to start both the workings as pointed out in the Satanic calendar. However, that is for my region and it could be either 24th or 26 th January for your region. The correct date for can be found by checking the calendar for your region. Visit jos-astro.com

It is said that one should only do maximum of two workings to prevent the dilution of energies. The reason I tell you to do one working at morning after sunrise and at evening or night is to prevent dilution and also taking account of the fact that you go to university. I saw a post about HP Hooded Cobra saying that dilution is prevented if there is a minimum gap of a few hours between each workings. A few hours would be 2-3 hours. If you can manage time, then do the workings with the said gap. If not, do one working at morning and the other at evening after coming back home from Uni and after taking sufficient rest.

It is very important to do workings for each day after sunrise. A new magickal day begins always after sunrise, not after 12 AM. Which means if you did a working a little before sunrise, it wouldn't be counted for the new day. Its same as doing the working two times a day. I ask you to research about this on the forums. I am not sure about this part myself either but better to be safe. I would do the working at least 10-20 min after sunrise to secure myself from any inaccuracies.

About the dilution part, if it happens that you couldn't do one working at morning, then do not stress about it. You can do both workings back to back with 10-20 min gap at the evening or at any time of the day. Do not stress about the dilution part. Follow it if you can, if not, then do both workings at evening. Regardless, never skip any days.

Besides that, I have problems in my family as well. My uncle is an alcoholic and tends to get abusive. My mother is also an alcoholic and seeing her drink herself to death every death just... affects me in horrible ways.

Ask the Gods for guidance regarding this part. I once read that no Satanist should take any kind of abuse written by HPS Maxine. To be honest, I am conflicted to advise you to start binding your uncle or if to do the workings. However, if his abuse is serious and needs attention, skip the detaching exercise and begin the binding and munka working at 25th of January(Again, check the Satanic calendar for your region. It might not really be 25th for your region but either 24th or 26th.)
I will tell you this, you shouldn't be complacent with any kind of abuse or think that its normal. Any and all forms of abuse should be rooted out from your life once and for all. If the abuse is physical, call the cops on him without any hesitation or fear of consequences.

Ask for guidance from the Gods or Sir Satan by visualizing their respective sigils.Also, sincerely ask for guidance in general.
For binding:
https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Binding_Spell.html
Skip the poppit part if its not viable or feasible. Do vibrations and affirmation.

Advice for how to... improve myself spiritually and raise from this point in my life. Because I've hit the lowest point in my life and I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to recover from this.

You need to develop a strict Satanic routine of Yoga, void meditation, aop, aoc and warfare daily if you plan to spiritually uplift yourself. Recover from what you are going through and once you have done so, start following the routine. You might skip some days. However, the important thing is to never give up and start following the routine again.
Sister, you are absolutely going to recover from this. I have faith in you and believe in you that you will. Remember that you are not alone and we are always there for you when you fall. We will always help you get back up but you also need to put effort for yourself.

Good luck to you dear sister, I hope for you a well recovery.
Do not hesitate to quote me or anybody else if you need any kind of help or want to ask some question no matter how trivial, would be happy if you did.
Take care.

One can also do a Venus square to improve thear overal love live /relationships.

 

[DarkAmaranthine]

I didn't expect to get so much support, to be honest. I wish to thank you all for being here for me. It's greatly appreciated.

Two common friends we have helped me realize just... how used I was. They did have some concerns regarding our relationship, but they are teenagers and didn't want to get involved in something that didn't concern them. I was always the one reaching out for us to meet. He lives 3 hours away because of covid. I'd always be the one to plan things.

I felt like... it became one-sided at some point. Like he just kept the relationship with me until he found someone better. And the way he tried to lie about it. To manipulate me.

All he had to say is that he did break up with me - which he didn't - and when that didn't work... He said that I emotionally abused him.

Look, I'm not perfect. But I put everything I had into this relationship because I loved him so damn much. I really thought he might be the one. I'm still pretty young. I know I shouldn't expect a serious relationship at this point. But besides the casual way he was treating this relationship, he never gave any signs that he might cheat on me.

In only a week, everything changed.

One of his friends called him - he said my ex didn't seem too bothered. Didn't really feel that much guilt. So he checked out of this relationship a while ago.

I was also in the situation where he'd never take in consideration my concerns. Or... things I'd get quite upset about. Always said I'm exaggerating... or that's how guys are. He never showed empathy then. Never tried to actually understand my part. And when he'd realize I was right with a thing, he'd just offer a half-assed apology.

I'm upset that this is how it ends. It was a very difficult night to pass through. I don't know if it was the Gods, but during the night, while crying and asking myself what did I do wrong to get here, I'd feel sudden spots of intense heat on my body. Mainly my back and my arms. It was... comforting. Felt like a fever, but much more intense. Especially in my hands.

I know I can go to the Gods with this but it's still hard to shake the feeling that I'm a failure. He was the last person I would have expected to cheat. it feels like he turned into a monster in only a few days.

Right now I'm just trying to gather my thoughts and strength and... slowly start doing things for myself. Physically and spiritually. I gave so much of myself to him that I feel... empty. Not myself anymore.

I read every piece of advice and encouragement you guys are sending my way - and it leaves me in awe to know that...you care. Because it is really, really hard to get over this.

 

[DarkAmaranthine]

First and foremost, the Gods and the people reading this are with you. We hear what you say and are saddened to hear about this. I won't say that we understand the kind of pain you are going through but I do want to say that we do hear you, are with you and that you are not alone.

I have admiration towards you for juggling through university and spiritual Satanism. You are someone hardworking and I hold you in respect for that because I myself haven't been into a Uni for years now.

Now that I'm failing, I feel like I have no value. But the only thing that was going perfectly fine was my relationship.

Sister, please do not say this. You are valuable to the Gods and to us even if you think otherwise. Your value shouldn't be decided by cheap people's betrayal but by you yourself as an individual. To be honest, from what I feel by reading this post, you are exactly the kind of women that men want in their lives but can only dream about it. That said, you do need to take this as a lesson to grow. You invested your love, loyalty and trust in someone who is worthless and cheap. Do reflect back and see where, when and how you were wrong and improve accordingly.

Every relationship I had until now ended because of infidelity on their part.

This sounds like a karmic issue or something similar. Do Munka x108 working for at least 40 days, 90 if you really want to get rid this karma once and for all. If you haven't already, at least start Hatha yoga. Kundalini yoga too if you can manage time for that which I advise you to do so as it is said that it burns karma.

Take a look at this:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=66328&p=311254&hilit=Yoga+burns+karma&sid=7dd7d3ddb79063722de826c4cd4f5536#p311254

There is valuable knowledge and useful affirmation to be found in the exchange between the two members, both of which whom I trust highly. Also see the part about mental hang-ups.

Also see VoE's experience here:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=54410&p=247650&hilit=ansuz+detach#p247650
Reading VoE's experience would be helpful if you plan to do detachment exercises in the advanced section.

I would recommend you to do two workings at magic dates. First is Munka working to get rid of negative karma and another is Ansuz to detach yourself form him once and for all. There's this page about detaching yourself from unwanted people inside power meditation page on the advanced section but I do not know if you should do this over Ansuz working. The reason being that its in the advanced section.

https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Words-of-Power.html

Begin this working at the waning part of the full moon.
Munka, morning after sunrise( learn about planetary hours) daily x108 times for at least 40 days.
1. Raise your energies: https://archive.fo/nLuwC
2. Vibrate Munka 108 times.
3. Affirm 9 times: "I am now totally free to have a happy and fulfilling love relationship with whomever I consciously desire in my present life right now."

At evening, do this:
Working To Remove Negative People From Your Life

START: Waning Moon in Scorpio, Pisces or Capricorn. The best time to start this is as close to the new moon as possible. Never start this working during the Void of Course moon.

1. Raise your energies: https://archive.fo/nLuwC
2. Vibrate ANSUZ 40 times.
3. Affirm 9 times:"In a positive and healthy manner for me, I am eternally free from 'Name of your past bf'"

Do this for 40 days, 80 days or 90 days.

How to pronounce ANSUZ and THURISAZ: https://mega.nz/#!9Ag1VRLb1pjN3bkQJVT8R ... VMXFwUQwws

How to pronounce MUNKA: https://archive.is/87FxL

I copy pasted and then edited this from:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=54768&p=242350&hilit=list+of#p242350

Check the Satanic calendar. 25 January is a good day to start both the workings as pointed out in the Satanic calendar. However, that is for my region and it could be either 24th or 26 th January for your region. The correct date for can be found by checking the calendar for your region. Visit jos-astro.com

It is said that one should only do maximum of two workings to prevent the dilution of energies. The reason I tell you to do one working at morning after sunrise and at evening or night is to prevent dilution and also taking account of the fact that you go to university. I saw a post about HP Hooded Cobra saying that dilution is prevented if there is a minimum gap of a few hours between each workings. A few hours would be 2-3 hours. If you can manage time, then do the workings with the said gap. If not, do one working at morning and the other at evening after coming back home from Uni and after taking sufficient rest.

It is very important to do workings for each day after sunrise. A new magickal day begins always after sunrise, not after 12 AM. Which means if you did a working a little before sunrise, it wouldn't be counted for the new day. Its same as doing the working two times a day. I ask you to research about this on the forums. I am not sure about this part myself either but better to be safe. I would do the working at least 10-20 min after sunrise to secure myself from any inaccuracies.

About the dilution part, if it happens that you couldn't do one working at morning, then do not stress about it. You can do both workings back to back with 10-20 min gap at the evening or at any time of the day. Do not stress about the dilution part. Follow it if you can, if not, then do both workings at evening. Regardless, never skip any days.

Besides that, I have problems in my family as well. My uncle is an alcoholic and tends to get abusive. My mother is also an alcoholic and seeing her drink herself to death every death just... affects me in horrible ways.

Ask the Gods for guidance regarding this part. I once read that no Satanist should take any kind of abuse written by HPS Maxine. To be honest, I am conflicted to advise you to start binding your uncle or if to do the workings. However, if his abuse is serious and needs attention, skip the detaching exercise and begin the binding and munka working at 25th of January(Again, check the Satanic calendar for your region. It might not really be 25th for your region but either 24th or 26th.)
I will tell you this, you shouldn't be complacent with any kind of abuse or think that its normal. Any and all forms of abuse should be rooted out from your life once and for all. If the abuse is physical, call the cops on him without any hesitation or fear of consequences.

Ask for guidance from the Gods or Sir Satan by visualizing their respective sigils.Also, sincerely ask for guidance in general.
For binding:
https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Binding_Spell.html
Skip the poppit part if its not viable or feasible. Do vibrations and affirmation.

Advice for how to... improve myself spiritually and raise from this point in my life. Because I've hit the lowest point in my life and I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to recover from this.

You need to develop a strict Satanic routine of Yoga, void meditation, aop, aoc and warfare daily if you plan to spiritually uplift yourself. Recover from what you are going through and once you have done so, start following the routine. You might skip some days. However, the important thing is to never give up and start following the routine again.
Sister, you are absolutely going to recover from this. I have faith in you and believe in you that you will. Remember that you are not alone and we are always there for you when you fall. We will always help you get back up but you also need to put effort for yourself.

Good luck to you dear sister, I hope for you a well recovery.
Do not hesitate to quote me or anybody else if you need any kind of help or want to ask some question no matter how trivial, would be happy if you did.
Take care.

Thank you for such a detailed guide. I will look into it... not today, though. I can barely struggle with eating today. I told my mom about the situation - as expected, she wasn't too happy. But...

At least I got a sign from the Gods. A 666 sneaked in while I was listening to some songs to cheer me up. I find it easy to communicate with Father Satan and my GD through numbers. It... felt good. To have that.

At the moment I just feel incredibly weak physically and emotionally. Emotions and feelings can get quite overwhelming for me. Up to the point where I feel like I'm suffocating. I've had to deal with a lot of shit in my childhood. Lots of abuse, being abandoned, watching my grandmother - who had raised me for so long - slowly die from cancer.

I just hate cheating. I despise it. After being cheated on in the past and watching my father cheat on my mother, it's one of those things that just.. I can't even explain it.

He knew what he was doing when he cheated on me.

I do wish things would've gone differently. I can barely find any energy to lift my hands, let alone... deal with my life as it is. But I do have emotional support from quite a few people. Even his friends took my side. I'm happy to know they can realize the gravity of what he had done.

At this point, I might just... focus on my process of healing and ask Father Satan for a demon partner. I know that, being part of the white race, I should have children with how things are going - but... I'm struggling with scoliosis and... I don't want that to be something that might get to my children.

I feel like at this point, I could only put my trust into a demon. As fucked up as that might sound. All I see around is lies and cheating and so... little love. So little fidelity and loyalty and responsibility for relationships.

People kept until you get bored of them, throwing them away as if they're broken toys.

It makes me feel sick.

 

[Sundara]

I've been a Satanist for a while now... even if I haven't been active on the forums.

But I'm in a situation that... begs for help. Not directly. Just... advice and emotional help.

I've been struggling a lot with my life. University and spiritualism. Until recent years, I was a workaholic and always based my achievements on what I can do. Nothing else. And now...

Now that I'm failing, I feel like I have no value. But the only thing that was going perfectly fine was my relationship.

We've been together for two years. After my mother and the Gods, he's the person I love the most. He's... my heart. I trusted him so, so much. We were doing so well.

Well, a week ago he went to a New Years party. After that... he changed. He told me half of his family is high risk with covid. Dying. He said that he wants us to take a break - in which we agreed we are still, officially, in a relationship -. I helped him so much with university throughout these two years. Even this week, I did... everything for him. Knowing his life must be a struggle at the moment.

Tonight, I just... realized some things he said didn't match. I have a pretty strong intuition. And my intuition has been saying, for a week, that something is horribly, horribly wrong. I don't know what impulse made me check out his discord - I know it's wrong, but I do have his most used passwords thanks to helping him with uni so much - and...

I saw everything. He's been in a relationship since the 4th of February with another girl. A girl I know. He lied to her that... we broke up. I saw the texts with his best friend, planning this stuff.

There's so much. So much... betrayal. So many wrong and hurtful things. Even now, he lies and tries to save his ass by saying we did break up.

We've been talking this time. I've been sending him homework. And messages of encouragement. He's been calling me almost daily.

I sent her screenshots of everything and she realized... what happened.

His lie is over. Everything is over. The man I trusted and loved so much. The man I was hoping to marry. Every relationship I had until now ended because of infidelity on their part.

I've been failing quite a lot in every aspect of my life. Except this one.

And his infidelity sent... every last piece of self-esteem and self-worth down the drain. I feel empty. I feel broken. I feel like... I'm nothing.

I've done so much for this relationship. I've given every last bit of my heart. I wasn't perfect. But I've been doing my best to improve for him. To maintain this relationship.

And we were doing so well. Our relationship was doing so good. And then...

I've had trust issues... for a very long time. But I trusted him. Until this feeling of dread and of... "something IS happening" pushed me to check his discord. It was just TOO strong. I knew something was wrong. The whole week has been a... build up to this.

And now I'm left broken. I don't know how I'm going to tell my mother or... how I'm going to recover from this.

Besides that, I have problems in my family as well. My uncle is an alcoholic and tends to get abusive. My mother is also an alcoholic and seeing her drink herself to death every death just... affects me in horrible ways.

I would love some advice, to be honest. Not for revenge. I'm... not interested in that right now.

Advice for how to... improve myself spiritually and raise from this point in my life. Because I've hit the lowest point in my life and I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to recover from this.

You should be sure to cut him off completely and get a full rebound. Focus on yourself and work to moving on. Keep affirming and knowing that this behavior has nothing to do with your looks, value, ect, it’s him with the self-worth issues most likely. People can be dishonest with themselves, unable to communicate because they’re cowardly, or just outright selfish. If he’s willing to offer a valid explanation and say what went wrong in the relationship it’s helpful but not necessary. I don’t like to seek closure from others past a certain point and give it to myself.

 

[Henu the Great]

One can also do a Venus square to improve thear overal love live /relationships.

This is true, but reading the OP and by the looks of it, it is best to do a bit of karma destroying in relation to attracting unsuitable partners. Then after the obstacles are removed, applying empowerment for a suitable partner. This ensures that dross would not get empowered.

 

[ForgedSS]

Here you go just go to how to attract a loved one.
https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/AURA.html

 

[DarkAmaranthine]

One can also do a Venus square to improve thear overal love live /relationships.

This is true, but reading the OP and by the looks of it, it is best to do a bit of karma destroying in relation to attracting unsuitable partners. Then after the obstacles are removed, applying empowerment for a suitable partner. This ensures that dross would not get empowered.

I imagine it is karma but...

I don't want to blame the enemy for this. I don't want to... blame my problems on the enemy.

But the relationships... they start so well. And yeah, there might be problems - but they are problems that should be solved through communication.

And then something like this happens. Like a switch is flipped in their mind and they... are another person. It's so painful and devastating, especially when your relationship seems to be going in such a great direction.

Yes, I did realize some big red flags with the help of our mutual friends - but... I've been in a relationship with him for a long time. Never have I glimpsed this ugliness inside of him. It's so devastating and scary. It makes it so hard for me to trust other people now.

 

[TheNewGuy]

I'm sorry to hear that. I recently broke things off with my girlfriend of two years and I spiraled into a pretty low point in my life. Through this whole recovery process I realized that I was stagnant in life. I had tunnel vision for how my life is supposed to go, but I'm learning to be present and to be thankful for each day.

Breakups suck. Being cheated on sucks even more. But this can be a great opportunity for you to learn that your worth is so much more than what you can do for someone. While you may have loved your boyfriend with all your heart, it seems like he was just using you. He was taking advantage of your nature. Just take things one step at a time, heal, and move forward.

And as for your family members' self destructive habits, you're not responsible for them. You gotta take care of you

 

[NinRick]

I've been a Satanist for a while now... even if I haven't been active on the forums.

But I'm in a situation that... begs for help. Not directly. Just... advice and emotional help.

I've been struggling a lot with my life. University and spiritualism. Until recent years, I was a workaholic and always based my achievements on what I can do. Nothing else. And now...

Now that I'm failing, I feel like I have no value. But the only thing that was going perfectly fine was my relationship.

We've been together for two years. After my mother and the Gods, he's the person I love the most. He's... my heart. I trusted him so, so much. We were doing so well.

Well, a week ago he went to a New Years party. After that... he changed. He told me half of his family is high risk with covid. Dying. He said that he wants us to take a break - in which we agreed we are still, officially, in a relationship -. I helped him so much with university throughout these two years. Even this week, I did... everything for him. Knowing his life must be a struggle at the moment.

Tonight, I just... realized some things he said didn't match. I have a pretty strong intuition. And my intuition has been saying, for a week, that something is horribly, horribly wrong. I don't know what impulse made me check out his discord - I know it's wrong, but I do have his most used passwords thanks to helping him with uni so much - and...

I saw everything. He's been in a relationship since the 4th of February with another girl. A girl I know. He lied to her that... we broke up. I saw the texts with his best friend, planning this stuff.

There's so much. So much... betrayal. So many wrong and hurtful things. Even now, he lies and tries to save his ass by saying we did break up.

We've been talking this time. I've been sending him homework. And messages of encouragement. He's been calling me almost daily.

I sent her screenshots of everything and she realized... what happened.

His lie is over. Everything is over. The man I trusted and loved so much. The man I was hoping to marry. Every relationship I had until now ended because of infidelity on their part.

I've been failing quite a lot in every aspect of my life. Except this one.

And his infidelity sent... every last piece of self-esteem and self-worth down the drain. I feel empty. I feel broken. I feel like... I'm nothing.

I've done so much for this relationship. I've given every last bit of my heart. I wasn't perfect. But I've been doing my best to improve for him. To maintain this relationship.

And we were doing so well. Our relationship was doing so good. And then...

I've had trust issues... for a very long time. But I trusted him. Until this feeling of dread and of... "something IS happening" pushed me to check his discord. It was just TOO strong. I knew something was wrong. The whole week has been a... build up to this.

And now I'm left broken. I don't know how I'm going to tell my mother or... how I'm going to recover from this.

Besides that, I have problems in my family as well. My uncle is an alcoholic and tends to get abusive. My mother is also an alcoholic and seeing her drink herself to death every death just... affects me in horrible ways.

I would love some advice, to be honest. Not for revenge. I'm... not interested in that right now.

Advice for how to... improve myself spiritually and raise from this point in my life. Because I've hit the lowest point in my life and I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to recover from this.

Oh damn this dude used you to the fullest, wasted your time and exploited you completely.

Well, it is good you saw thorough him and that you broke up, you don’t want to spend all your life with him trust me. Sounds like a low level pleb to me.

You need to grow a bit mor selfish. This is YOUR live, live it the way YOU want, do not live for others, DO WHAT YOU WANT!
You should try to be independent, however, it looks like you also need very mich emotional stability, support in your relationship, and that you want to be really close to your partner. He couldn’t give you that anyways, and if, he would probably just fake it. So actually this was a good riddance.

Well, I can just speak from my view, but spiritual power, advancement, understanding and being close to the Gods is very fulfilling for me. How about you try to grow seriously close to the Demons? And try to seriously advance?

After you have reached that, you can work to find the perfect partner, who is also a satanic soul.
You could start a jupiter square to attract a very suitable partner.

But how about for now, you first use this opportunity of being free to clear your mind up, looking where you are, understanding who you are, understanding where you want to go and who you want to become.

As this is the most important thing there is. Spiritual advancement... or rather.. PERSONAL EVOLUTION, is the most important thing there is, this leads to power, a positive outlook, and also to a very bright future. You should stay here for now, and just try to advance as mich as you can.
Altho I am pretty sure you need human love and closeness, someone who is open for you and someone you are open to as well.

Welp, to be fair, when you are advanced enough, (preferably your partner as well), you can fully understand him, as you can feel what he feels when you tune into him, no matter where he is. After seriously advancing you can become one person, with no secrets and lies anymore.
But if you want this, spiritual evolution is needed first.
And I mean serious advancement by that.

 

[DarkAmaranthine]

I've been a Satanist for a while now... even if I haven't been active on the forums.

But I'm in a situation that... begs for help. Not directly. Just... advice and emotional help.

I've been struggling a lot with my life. University and spiritualism. Until recent years, I was a workaholic and always based my achievements on what I can do. Nothing else. And now...

Now that I'm failing, I feel like I have no value. But the only thing that was going perfectly fine was my relationship.

We've been together for two years. After my mother and the Gods, he's the person I love the most. He's... my heart. I trusted him so, so much. We were doing so well.

Well, a week ago he went to a New Years party. After that... he changed. He told me half of his family is high risk with covid. Dying. He said that he wants us to take a break - in which we agreed we are still, officially, in a relationship -. I helped him so much with university throughout these two years. Even this week, I did... everything for him. Knowing his life must be a struggle at the moment.

Tonight, I just... realized some things he said didn't match. I have a pretty strong intuition. And my intuition has been saying, for a week, that something is horribly, horribly wrong. I don't know what impulse made me check out his discord - I know it's wrong, but I do have his most used passwords thanks to helping him with uni so much - and...

I saw everything. He's been in a relationship since the 4th of February with another girl. A girl I know. He lied to her that... we broke up. I saw the texts with his best friend, planning this stuff.

There's so much. So much... betrayal. So many wrong and hurtful things. Even now, he lies and tries to save his ass by saying we did break up.

We've been talking this time. I've been sending him homework. And messages of encouragement. He's been calling me almost daily.

I sent her screenshots of everything and she realized... what happened.

His lie is over. Everything is over. The man I trusted and loved so much. The man I was hoping to marry. Every relationship I had until now ended because of infidelity on their part.

I've been failing quite a lot in every aspect of my life. Except this one.

And his infidelity sent... every last piece of self-esteem and self-worth down the drain. I feel empty. I feel broken. I feel like... I'm nothing.

I've done so much for this relationship. I've given every last bit of my heart. I wasn't perfect. But I've been doing my best to improve for him. To maintain this relationship.

And we were doing so well. Our relationship was doing so good. And then...

I've had trust issues... for a very long time. But I trusted him. Until this feeling of dread and of... "something IS happening" pushed me to check his discord. It was just TOO strong. I knew something was wrong. The whole week has been a... build up to this.

And now I'm left broken. I don't know how I'm going to tell my mother or... how I'm going to recover from this.

Besides that, I have problems in my family as well. My uncle is an alcoholic and tends to get abusive. My mother is also an alcoholic and seeing her drink herself to death every death just... affects me in horrible ways.

I would love some advice, to be honest. Not for revenge. I'm... not interested in that right now.

Advice for how to... improve myself spiritually and raise from this point in my life. Because I've hit the lowest point in my life and I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to recover from this.

Oh damn this dude used you to the fullest, wasted your time and exploited you completely.

Well, it is good you saw thorough him and that you broke up, you don’t want to spend all your life with him trust me. Sounds like a low level pleb to me.

You need to grow a bit mor selfish. This is YOUR live, live it the way YOU want, do not live for others, DO WHAT YOU WANT!
You should try to be independent, however, it looks like you also need very mich emotional stability, support in your relationship, and that you want to be really close to your partner. He couldn’t give you that anyways, and if, he would probably just fake it. So actually this was a good riddance.

Well, I can just speak from my view, but spiritual power, advancement, understanding and being close to the Gods is very fulfilling for me. How about you try to grow seriously close to the Demons? And try to seriously advance?

After you have reached that, you can work to find the perfect partner, who is also a satanic soul.
You could start a jupiter square to attract a very suitable partner.

But how about for now, you first use this opportunity of being free to clear your mind up, looking where you are, understanding who you are, understanding where you want to go and who you want to become.

As this is the most important thing there is. Spiritual advancement... or rather.. PERSONAL EVOLUTION, is the most important thing there is, this leads to power, a positive outlook, and also to a very bright future. You should stay here for now, and just try to advance as mich as you can.
Altho I am pretty sure you need human love and closeness, someone who is open for you and someone you are open to as well.

Welp, to be fair, when you are advanced enough, (preferably your partner as well), you can fully understand him, as you can feel what he feels when you tune into him, no matter where he is. After seriously advancing you can become one person, with no secrets and lies anymore.
But if you want this, spiritual evolution is needed first.
And I mean serious advancement by that.

I have a huge yearning for love and understanding. Frankly, all I want from life is a decent job, to do my work as a SS and to have someone who loves me and whom I love back.

I understand this was needed. And I understand I need to focus on myself and review how I see relationship and how I deal with this type of matter. I'm still really young and while I was hoping this would be one of those stories where we grow and mature together, helping each other...

It still feels surreal.

At least now I have all of this time to focus on myself and grow. I'm not saying the relationship was pulling me back, but he was very dependent on my help. I enjoyed spending time together - I haven't mentioned this but he was my best friend as well.

I lost my love. And my best friend. All at the same time.

The betrayal is horrible.

But I had... so much support. From so many people. And it helps. I've heard he regrets what he did now that... all of our friends avoid him for what he had done.

But I have a feeling that he only regrets being caught. If he did regret, he wouldn't have done this to me. He wouldn't have manipulated me like this, after I spent the last two years literally worshipping him and trying to love him as much as I could. That was my mistake.

I feel... horrible. Sick. Betrayed. In pain. It hurts so much to have lost the person I loved.

But I also feel liberated. We were good for each other - but something in him changed and... this happened. I don't know.

Thank you - I know that right now, the best thing I can do is focus on myself and on advancing.

 

[Jrvan]

Spend more time at the gym for a while. You're going to want to release the emotions through intense workouts, maybe even with a punching bag.

After you've done that for a while, reinvent yourself. Dress in leather and start going to concerts, for one good example. Whatever you do, make it about you exclusively and no one else. Give yourself all your time and attention. Take all that love and care that you wasted on him, and give it to yourself instead.

You don't really need to trust anyone. Most people in this world right now will eventually fall short or let you down so it's not worth worrying about. You have magick, and you also have Satan. Satan is one being you can always trust no matter what. So until this world gets better, trust yourself and trust Satan.

 

[Aquarius]

Dress in leather and start going to concerts

Literally makes no sense.

 

[Weasel]

Ugh I am sorry for what happened to you, yes every time we enter a relationship there is a risk for betrayals this, for different reasons and the fact that we are not that evolved spiritually, while I desire to help you most of the answers have the solution i wanted to propose, prehaps this then:
https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Detaching.html
and
https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Freeing_the_Soul.html

You know, you may either curse him or ignore him, yes i know that after a break up many people would choose to gossip the traitor on the back, to dehumanize him but that's wrong bcs by doing that you kinda let him tingle on your mind, my opinion is that the best way is to distract yourself with HEALTHY activities that would help you to forget him, try and go to the gym, meditate more thus reaching closer to the Gods or get out with your friends more. Yes this may be a hard time but please do not stay and home and think of the old memories, try to get outside and do activities, even finding a new hobby.

Hope I was usefull

 

[Henu the Great]

One can also do a Venus square to improve thear overal love live /relationships.

This is true, but reading the OP and by the looks of it, it is best to do a bit of karma destroying in relation to attracting unsuitable partners. Then after the obstacles are removed, applying empowerment for a suitable partner. This ensures that dross would not get empowered.

I imagine it is karma but...

I don't want to blame the enemy for this. I don't want to... blame my problems on the enemy.

But the relationships... they start so well. And yeah, there might be problems - but they are problems that should be solved through communication.

And then something like this happens. Like a switch is flipped in their mind and they... are another person. It's so painful and devastating, especially when your relationship seems to be going in such a great direction.

Yes, I did realize some big red flags with the help of our mutual friends - but... I've been in a relationship with him for a long time. Never have I glimpsed this ugliness inside of him. It's so devastating and scary. It makes it so hard for me to trust other people now.

Things are complicated when you look at every detail in the big picture. Usually things are not black-white, but more detailed manifestations of many different aspects.

We are under enemy occupation, the effect of their dirty manifestation should not be discounted. There are astrological influences in play all the time for those of us who have not ascended above that level. And also consequenses for every action - even the smallest are in play 24/7 which must be taken into consideration.

So some steps to make things better for you over time is to apply spiritual solutions, such as karma removal and empowering desired aspects and participating in spiritual warfare while taking good care of the physical side of things. These tying together in harmonious way should make your romantic endeavors better in the future.

 

[Jrvan]

Dress in leather and start going to concerts

Literally makes no sense.

You don't approve of subcultures? Leather has had a long association with bands ever since The Ramones popularized it.

It was only one suggestion. What I'm saying is that she needs change. In this case, a dramatic change I believe is best.

 

[DarkAmaranthine]

Update.

Things have come to an end.

Having a group of mutual friends, things were... complicated. He tried to convince them that aw had broken up before he cheated. It didn't work as I had proof that didn't happen. Proof that went against his proof.

I feel... incredibly down. Why? The girl he cheated on me with told me he had wanted to sleep with her on the new years party. It just seems to go back and back and back. I have no idea how much he had been thinking about this. Or for how long he had been planning it.

Obviously, I wish to have it back. I'm still incredibly attached to him. He was not only my boyfriend. He was also my best friend.

His best friend admitted to him cheating. To me and to others as well. He told me he regrets not telling me - that he wanted to remain neutral and not get involved. His neutrality brought him hatred as well. By knowning, he became almost as bad as my ex.

I had given him too much. I can barely eat. I barely forced myself today to eat a meal in two days without being sick. The feeling remains. While talking to some friends, I had gone over some things that were always red flags.

1. I can be a jealous person. But he always downplayed my feelings. Saying I'm exaggerating and not making an effort to understand my side - even if I was right. Several girls had told me that they wouldn't have accepted these things from him. Things, he said, that made me jealous.

2. He lied to me about certain things so I would have sex with him faster. I lost my virginity to him. When I found out, he told me it was to make me feel better about it.

3. Sex with him was always painful after we had to go long distance because of covid. We would meet once a month and he never took enough time to warm me up or slow down when he needed to. During those few days I would stay at his place, sex would be painful because of that - and because of the sore and chafed feeling that would follow. Even while knowing this, he still pressured me into sex. Asking so much that, being tired from the 4 hours road and the hours before of preparation, I would give in to sex just to have him shut up.

Now I realize that I'm quite afraid of sex. I got used to the idea that sex hurts because of him. He could never bring me to orgasm because he was quite impatient. There were quite a few times he tried, but I always felt bad about how long it takes.

There were times when I felt like a whore. Like... something to fuck and send out the door. Very unpleasant feeling.

4. He would never come to my place. In two years and a half of relationship, I was always the one to go to his place- excluding two times. Even so, in the past year he had never come after me at the train station. I would always have to take a taxi. And even while I was the one doing all the travelling, he would spend like 10 minutes cleaning his room in a half-assed effort. The first thing he would do is beg for sex. Not ask me if I'm hungry or tired. Or feeling bad.

5. A few friends said they didn't like the way he would sometimes talk to me. A male friend said he had expected him to cheat. Like a brat who keeps a toy until he finds a better one. This guy had spent the last days trying to make me feel better. Spending time with me. Talking to me. He asked me if I drank water. If I ate. Tonight, when he asked if I drank water like he asked me to a few minutes earlier... i realized my ex never did this. Ask me if i ate or if I'm hydrated. Or pushing me to become better.

I write these for other women and girls. It took me this betrayal to realize just how much he was using me. Just how much I was blinded by the huge amount of unconditional love and attachment I felt for him.

I never made him work for my love. Or be worthy for it. I just... gave it away.


Now that I realized the full extent of his betrayal and what a horrible human he actually is... it's time to try and, slowly, move on.

It's hard. Love is almost like a drug. Love leaves you so vulnerable and raw in front of betrayal
I feel empty and too full at the same time. I feel out of place. This whole situation feels wrong. Alien. The person I talked to and spent time with almost daily for over two years. Completely gone.

I talk to people. But I still feel lonely. It still hurts. I still want him.

But I know he doesn't deserve me. Personally, I found something that helps me face this with more dignity. I imagined how it would have been if Father Satan asked me to leave this relationship. I would have. Because I know Father Satan wants my best.

With this, I imagine it was the will of Father Satan. I had never felt such a strong extent to my intuition before - the thing that literally forced me with desperation to look into his discord, to find out. This incredibly strong feeling that something is wrong. That he is lying. That he is cheating on me.

Father Satan didn't want me to maintain this relationship. I know this. And this helps me go through this pain.

I did think he was the one. We did have so many happy moments together.

I was hoping we would get married one day. Have children.

But I'm aware I'm still very long and that this is a life lesson. My first true, physical love.

I'm not doing good - I feel almost delusional at times - but I am doing better. And I want to thank you all for your support.

I know I must have standards as a satanist. I know I can't let this guy, who hadn't accomplished anything in his life, pull me down. I know I shouldn't crave his presence or love so much.

And I know he will regret it one day. On his own. Sooner or later. Because I can guarantee there will be very few women who will be willing to love him with the same dedication I had.

 

[NinRick]

Update.

Things have come to an end.

Having a group of mutual friends, things were... complicated. He tried to convince them that aw had broken up before he cheated. It didn't work as I had proof that didn't happen. Proof that went against his proof.

I feel... incredibly down. Why? The girl he cheated on me with told me he had wanted to sleep with her on the new years party. It just seems to go back and back and back. I have no idea how much he had been thinking about this. Or for how long he had been planning it.

Obviously, I wish to have it back. I'm still incredibly attached to him. He was not only my boyfriend. He was also my best friend.

His best friend admitted to him cheating. To me and to others as well. He told me he regrets not telling me - that he wanted to remain neutral and not get involved. His neutrality brought him hatred as well. By knowning, he became almost as bad as my ex.

I had given him too much. I can barely eat. I barely forced myself today to eat a meal in two days without being sick. The feeling remains. While talking to some friends, I had gone over some things that were always red flags.

1. I can be a jealous person. But he always downplayed my feelings. Saying I'm exaggerating and not making an effort to understand my side - even if I was right. Several girls had told me that they wouldn't have accepted these things from him. Things, he said, that made me jealous.

2. He lied to me about certain things so I would have sex with him faster. I lost my virginity to him. When I found out, he told me it was to make me feel better about it.

3. Sex with him was always painful after we had to go long distance because of covid. We would meet once a month and he never took enough time to warm me up or slow down when he needed to. During those few days I would stay at his place, sex would be painful because of that - and because of the sore and chafed feeling that would follow. Even while knowing this, he still pressured me into sex. Asking so much that, being tired from the 4 hours road and the hours before of preparation, I would give in to sex just to have him shut up.

Now I realize that I'm quite afraid of sex. I got used to the idea that sex hurts because of him. He could never bring me to orgasm because he was quite impatient. There were quite a few times he tried, but I always felt bad about how long it takes.

There were times when I felt like a whore. Like... something to fuck and send out the door. Very unpleasant feeling.

4. He would never come to my place. In two years and a half of relationship, I was always the one to go to his place- excluding two times. Even so, in the past year he had never come after me at the train station. I would always have to take a taxi. And even while I was the one doing all the travelling, he would spend like 10 minutes cleaning his room in a half-assed effort. The first thing he would do is beg for sex. Not ask me if I'm hungry or tired. Or feeling bad.

5. A few friends said they didn't like the way he would sometimes talk to me. A male friend said he had expected him to cheat. Like a brat who keeps a toy until he finds a better one. This guy had spent the last days trying to make me feel better. Spending time with me. Talking to me. He asked me if I drank water. If I ate. Tonight, when he asked if I drank water like he asked me to a few minutes earlier... i realized my ex never did this. Ask me if i ate or if I'm hydrated. Or pushing me to become better.

I write these for other women and girls. It took me this betrayal to realize just how much he was using me. Just how much I was blinded by the huge amount of unconditional love and attachment I felt for him.

I never made him work for my love. Or be worthy for it. I just... gave it away.


Now that I realized the full extent of his betrayal and what a horrible human he actually is... it's time to try and, slowly, move on.

It's hard. Love is almost like a drug. Love leaves you so vulnerable and raw in front of betrayal
I feel empty and too full at the same time. I feel out of place. This whole situation feels wrong. Alien. The person I talked to and spent time with almost daily for over two years. Completely gone.

I talk to people. But I still feel lonely. It still hurts. I still want him.

But I know he doesn't deserve me. Personally, I found something that helps me face this with more dignity. I imagined how it would have been if Father Satan asked me to leave this relationship. I would have. Because I know Father Satan wants my best.

With this, I imagine it was the will of Father Satan. I had never felt such a strong extent to my intuition before - the thing that literally forced me with desperation to look into his discord, to find out. This incredibly strong feeling that something is wrong. That he is lying. That he is cheating on me.

Father Satan didn't want me to maintain this relationship. I know this. And this helps me go through this pain.

I did think he was the one. We did have so many happy moments together.

I was hoping we would get married one day. Have children.

But I'm aware I'm still very long and that this is a life lesson. My first true, physical love.

I'm not doing good - I feel almost delusional at times - but I am doing better. And I want to thank you all for your support.

I know I must have standards as a satanist. I know I can't let this guy, who hadn't accomplished anything in his life, pull me down. I know I shouldn't crave his presence or love so much.

And I know he will regret it one day. On his own. Sooner or later. Because I can guarantee there will be very few women who will be willing to love him with the same dedication I had.

As far as sex goes, it is all about communication, you should have told him that he doesn’t satisfy you. So you could have worked on that, he could as you said „warm you up real good“ first.

Also if he was SS, to last as long as you wish, you just need to direct energy away from your little friend.

Try to forget him and move on, he used and exploited you on all fronts. If you find the other guy attractive who cheered you up, maybe this will develop into something better for you. You could check your synastry before hand, this would help you in overcoming this situation.

Recover, get back on your feet, grow stronger and find someone who will make you happy.
You are witch you can definitely do this.

 

[DarkAmaranthine]

Update.

Things have come to an end.

Having a group of mutual friends, things were... complicated. He tried to convince them that aw had broken up before he cheated. It didn't work as I had proof that didn't happen. Proof that went against his proof.

I feel... incredibly down. Why? The girl he cheated on me with told me he had wanted to sleep with her on the new years party. It just seems to go back and back and back. I have no idea how much he had been thinking about this. Or for how long he had been planning it.

Obviously, I wish to have it back. I'm still incredibly attached to him. He was not only my boyfriend. He was also my best friend.

His best friend admitted to him cheating. To me and to others as well. He told me he regrets not telling me - that he wanted to remain neutral and not get involved. His neutrality brought him hatred as well. By knowning, he became almost as bad as my ex.

I had given him too much. I can barely eat. I barely forced myself today to eat a meal in two days without being sick. The feeling remains. While talking to some friends, I had gone over some things that were always red flags.

1. I can be a jealous person. But he always downplayed my feelings. Saying I'm exaggerating and not making an effort to understand my side - even if I was right. Several girls had told me that they wouldn't have accepted these things from him. Things, he said, that made me jealous.

2. He lied to me about certain things so I would have sex with him faster. I lost my virginity to him. When I found out, he told me it was to make me feel better about it.

3. Sex with him was always painful after we had to go long distance because of covid. We would meet once a month and he never took enough time to warm me up or slow down when he needed to. During those few days I would stay at his place, sex would be painful because of that - and because of the sore and chafed feeling that would follow. Even while knowing this, he still pressured me into sex. Asking so much that, being tired from the 4 hours road and the hours before of preparation, I would give in to sex just to have him shut up.

Now I realize that I'm quite afraid of sex. I got used to the idea that sex hurts because of him. He could never bring me to orgasm because he was quite impatient. There were quite a few times he tried, but I always felt bad about how long it takes.

There were times when I felt like a whore. Like... something to fuck and send out the door. Very unpleasant feeling.

4. He would never come to my place. In two years and a half of relationship, I was always the one to go to his place- excluding two times. Even so, in the past year he had never come after me at the train station. I would always have to take a taxi. And even while I was the one doing all the travelling, he would spend like 10 minutes cleaning his room in a half-assed effort. The first thing he would do is beg for sex. Not ask me if I'm hungry or tired. Or feeling bad.

5. A few friends said they didn't like the way he would sometimes talk to me. A male friend said he had expected him to cheat. Like a brat who keeps a toy until he finds a better one. This guy had spent the last days trying to make me feel better. Spending time with me. Talking to me. He asked me if I drank water. If I ate. Tonight, when he asked if I drank water like he asked me to a few minutes earlier... i realized my ex never did this. Ask me if i ate or if I'm hydrated. Or pushing me to become better.

I write these for other women and girls. It took me this betrayal to realize just how much he was using me. Just how much I was blinded by the huge amount of unconditional love and attachment I felt for him.

I never made him work for my love. Or be worthy for it. I just... gave it away.


Now that I realized the full extent of his betrayal and what a horrible human he actually is... it's time to try and, slowly, move on.

It's hard. Love is almost like a drug. Love leaves you so vulnerable and raw in front of betrayal
I feel empty and too full at the same time. I feel out of place. This whole situation feels wrong. Alien. The person I talked to and spent time with almost daily for over two years. Completely gone.

I talk to people. But I still feel lonely. It still hurts. I still want him.

But I know he doesn't deserve me. Personally, I found something that helps me face this with more dignity. I imagined how it would have been if Father Satan asked me to leave this relationship. I would have. Because I know Father Satan wants my best.

With this, I imagine it was the will of Father Satan. I had never felt such a strong extent to my intuition before - the thing that literally forced me with desperation to look into his discord, to find out. This incredibly strong feeling that something is wrong. That he is lying. That he is cheating on me.

Father Satan didn't want me to maintain this relationship. I know this. And this helps me go through this pain.

I did think he was the one. We did have so many happy moments together.

I was hoping we would get married one day. Have children.

But I'm aware I'm still very long and that this is a life lesson. My first true, physical love.

I'm not doing good - I feel almost delusional at times - but I am doing better. And I want to thank you all for your support.

I know I must have standards as a satanist. I know I can't let this guy, who hadn't accomplished anything in his life, pull me down. I know I shouldn't crave his presence or love so much.

And I know he will regret it one day. On his own. Sooner or later. Because I can guarantee there will be very few women who will be willing to love him with the same dedication I had.

As far as sex goes, it is all about communication, you should have told him that he doesn’t satisfy you. So you could have worked on that, he could as you said „warm you up real good“ first.

Also if he was SS, to last as long as you wish, you just need to direct energy away from your little friend.

Try to forget him and move on, he used and exploited you on all fronts. If you find the other guy attractive who cheered you up, maybe this will develop into something better for you. You could check your synastry before hand, this would help you in overcoming this situation.

Recover, get back on your feet, grow stronger and find someone who will make you happy.
You are witch you can definitely do this.

The thing is, I told him. Repeatedly. But he was still pushy about doing what he wanted.

I know. I just feel so used. Honestly, I even regret meeting him. Very few good things came out of this relationship. And cheating is one of the things I despise the most.

 

[DarkAmaranthine]

I've been a Satanist for a while now... even if I haven't been active on the forums.

But I'm in a situation that... begs for help. Not directly. Just... advice and emotional help.

I've been struggling a lot with my life. University and spiritualism. Until recent years, I was a workaholic and always based my achievements on what I can do. Nothing else. And now...

Now that I'm failing, I feel like I have no value. But the only thing that was going perfectly fine was my relationship.

We've been together for two years. After my mother and the Gods, he's the person I love the most. He's... my heart. I trusted him so, so much. We were doing so well.

Well, a week ago he went to a New Years party. After that... he changed. He told me half of his family is high risk with covid. Dying. He said that he wants us to take a break - in which we agreed we are still, officially, in a relationship -. I helped him so much with university throughout these two years. Even this week, I did... everything for him. Knowing his life must be a struggle at the moment.

Tonight, I just... realized some things he said didn't match. I have a pretty strong intuition. And my intuition has been saying, for a week, that something is horribly, horribly wrong. I don't know what impulse made me check out his discord - I know it's wrong, but I do have his most used passwords thanks to helping him with uni so much - and...

I saw everything. He's been in a relationship since the 4th of February with another girl. A girl I know. He lied to her that... we broke up. I saw the texts with his best friend, planning this stuff.

There's so much. So much... betrayal. So many wrong and hurtful things. Even now, he lies and tries to save his ass by saying we did break up.

We've been talking this time. I've been sending him homework. And messages of encouragement. He's been calling me almost daily.

I sent her screenshots of everything and she realized... what happened.

His lie is over. Everything is over. The man I trusted and loved so much. The man I was hoping to marry. Every relationship I had until now ended because of infidelity on their part.

I've been failing quite a lot in every aspect of my life. Except this one.

And his infidelity sent... every last piece of self-esteem and self-worth down the drain. I feel empty. I feel broken. I feel like... I'm nothing.

I've done so much for this relationship. I've given every last bit of my heart. I wasn't perfect. But I've been doing my best to improve for him. To maintain this relationship.

And we were doing so well. Our relationship was doing so good. And then...

I've had trust issues... for a very long time. But I trusted him. Until this feeling of dread and of... "something IS happening" pushed me to check his discord. It was just TOO strong. I knew something was wrong. The whole week has been a... build up to this.

And now I'm left broken. I don't know how I'm going to tell my mother or... how I'm going to recover from this.

Besides that, I have problems in my family as well. My uncle is an alcoholic and tends to get abusive. My mother is also an alcoholic and seeing her drink herself to death every death just... affects me in horrible ways.

I would love some advice, to be honest. Not for revenge. I'm... not interested in that right now.

Advice for how to... improve myself spiritually and raise from this point in my life. Because I've hit the lowest point in my life and I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to recover from this.

You should be sure to cut him off completely and get a full rebound. Focus on yourself and work to moving on. Keep affirming and knowing that this behavior has nothing to do with your looks, value, ect, it’s him with the self-worth issues most likely. People can be dishonest with themselves, unable to communicate because they’re cowardly, or just outright selfish. If he’s willing to offer a valid explanation and say what went wrong in the relationship it’s helpful but not necessary. I don’t like to seek closure from others past a certain point and give it to myself.

I've gotten enough details from people to realize he was making really bad excuses to justify break up. A break up that didn't even exist. He is trying to justify cheating. Now that we had actually broken up, things are tough but... I'll get better. Slowly.

I know he'll regret this in time. And I know he'll get what he deserves.

But right now I'm too heartbroken to think about revenge.

 

[Username]

You do not have to look or research about what I said all at once. Occasionally look at it and decode it at your own pace.

Your bf was someone who was not a normal sympathetic human being. It was coded in his brain or in his soul to do what he did. Its not that he wavered over cheating on you or was indecisive about it. Such a thing never entered his mind. To him, cheating was equally normal as drinking water. He is a low consciousness robot whom you are now over with. Do not think about him at all.

Its time to find someone who actually cares for you. Do the workings and follow the routine. After which you could do a working to attract a suitable partner to yourself either by natural forces or by Satanic forces(spiritual workings). I would not advise to be in any romantic relationship until and unless you have cleared yourself of all negative karma regarding it.

At this point, I might just... focus on my process of healing and ask Father Satan for a demon partner. I know that, being part of the white race, I should have children with how things are going - but... I'm struggling with scoliosis and... I don't want that to be something that might get to my children.

I feel like at this point, I could only put my trust into a demon. As fucked up as that might sound. All I see around is lies and cheating and so... little love. So little fidelity and loyalty and responsibility for relationships.

People kept until you get bored of them, throwing them away as if they're broken toys.

It makes me feel sick.

Do not let the doings of a filthy robot or the negative karma from your past life warp your interpretation of world or relationships. There are many people in this world who are very caring and radiate warmth by themselves. I know you might be scorning at this sentence or unbelieving to it but trust me there are some people like that . Proof would be the Satanists here.

When you find that someone, he will absolutely detest the idea of viewing you as a toy. He would view you as someone who is to be loved and protected at all costs and at all times. You would be the shining light to him and vice-versa.

Whether you choose to be into a demonic relationship with someone or not, that's up to you. I will only advise you to be in any romantic relationship, demonic or not, only after you have moved on and cleared yourself from any and all negative karma regarding it. Ask for guidance regarding this from Sir Satan.

There are things I wanted to add:
Go to morning walks. No, you do not need to do it for moving on. Just go for morning walks to your parks with your friends or by yourself without any expectation and with a blank mind. Also, go for groceries and do some light chores. I know it is hard to do so and if you don't want to, then don't do it. Just saying that if you can, you should move your body and never be always closed up in your room. Listen to some music that always soothed you in the past or any other. Talk with your mother about light hearted things or you can even gossip about your relatives with her if you want to lol.

Do void meditation. Doing 5 minutes a day is fine. It is very useful to clear yourself of all the useless thoughts. Also, learn about void of course moon on the forums if you don't know about it.
Take things slow and steady. Moving on doesn't have to happen all at once. You can move on at your own pace. Btw, I hope you have already deleted each and everything physical and digital about him from your house,mobile and laptop etc. Do it if you haven't already.

Also, slowly but surely study and decode things I have advised you to do. For eg correct pronouncing of mantras from mp3 , learning about negative karma, mantras uses etc.
Oh ! I almost forgot. You should start doing Aop's daily with suryae or algiz soon(The moon should not be VoC). It will help you a lot in the short and long term. Do not be overwhelmed by all things advised by me or other members. Take your time and study at your own pace.
That's all.Quote me or anyone else if you have any questions or need advice with zero hesitation.
Take care.

 

[Aquarius]

Dress in leather and start going to concerts

Literally makes no sense.

You don't approve of subcultures? Leather has had a long association with bands ever since The Ramones popularized it.

It was only one suggestion. What I'm saying is that she needs change. In this case, a dramatic change I believe is best.

She doesn't need to join a subculture or create a new identity, she needs to cope, and be totally herself.

 

[NinRick]

Literally makes no sense.

You don't approve of subcultures? Leather has had a long association with bands ever since The Ramones popularized it.

It was only one suggestion. What I'm saying is that she needs change. In this case, a dramatic change I believe is best.

She doesn't need to join a subculture or create a new identity, she needs to cope, and be totally herself.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Sounds like this is a ripoff from a movie or something :lol:

 

[Jrvan]

Literally makes no sense.

You don't approve of subcultures? Leather has had a long association with bands ever since The Ramones popularized it.

It was only one suggestion. What I'm saying is that she needs change. In this case, a dramatic change I believe is best.

She doesn't need to join a subculture or create a new identity, she needs to cope, and be totally herself.

So it's a difference of opinion over what she needs. What she asked for is advice and suggestions, and I thought it was best to give more variety for her to select from rather than saying the things that have already been said.

Going out in the world and exploring yourself is a way to cope as well. You saying she needs to cope doesn't make sense here as an argument towards me because she already knows that, and she was asking for ways to cope, as in ideas. I offered one such idea.

Here's what I don't think she needs: staying in her house with her negative emotions brewing within her and eating at her. In my opinion, the sooner she is able to go out and do something new the better. She needs something fresh to explore that she hasn't done before. Something new and exciting in life that will keep her occupied while she heals. Maybe she should meet new people instead of staying exclusively within her current friend group. In any case, I think if she dwells on this for too long then she's going to drive herself crazy so she needs something new to focus on. She shouldn't process what happened to her for anymore than a month, in my opinion. After that it's just wasting time when she could be out having fun new experiences and enjoying life. She will still have moments where she gets triggered and cries, but it will be better and healthier than if she's stuck where she is now in this stage of her life. Expansion and exploration, that's what I'm suggesting to her. A new outfit and choice of activity (concerts) was just one single idea for this, a mere example.

 

[Purified666]

...

Hey. Best thing you can do is focus on meditation and spirituality. I've experienced a similar breakup(though it was my fault in this case, which made me feel even worse) and I know it feels like crap and how what you're currently feeling won't ever end.

I felt like a piece of my soul was torn away. I'm not phased by much, but boy I think it gave me PTSD and sent be down a 2 year path of darkness I never wish to walk on.

I don't want the same to happen to you. First, I suggest you let it all out. Cry as much as you need, don't try to hold it in. Please!
I didn't allow myself to be healed before starting a new relationship and it ended up a disaster. I too also wanted a Demon lover after that, but I decided not to. Mainly because I still hope to find a Human lover and have a family... but I came really close to giving up on that and just be with a Demoness.

So again, let it all out. Process the breakup. Otherwise the pain will poison just about everything you love and care. Pay attention to the signs Gods give you. In my case, they came in form of YouTube recommended videos. And don't ignore them if they seem out of place. I got recommended videos on how to deal with a breakup in a stoic manner. And I never searched anything about stoicism(nor how to deal with breakups) on youtube or google!

Secondly, find something that gives your comfort. It could be a new hobby, maybe a new beverage, anything. I found that warmth helps out with the pain. I felt much worse if the room I was in wasn't warm, coldness somehow enhanced the feelings of pain and loneliness. So if you can, put your AC on the highest setting and warm the room up. Hugging a pillow also helped out.

Thirdly, start meditating. The sooner you raise your bio-electricity, the better. I was doing good with meditations before the breakup and I had high bio-electricity and, despite feeling like a wounded animal, the pain wasn't completely clouding my mind. I could still feel a weird wound in my soul, like someone stabbed it with a knife. But it didn't control me. Unfortunately, you will have to fight off the feelings of depression, loneliness, until you process the pain. Something which I failed at, making the pain much worse than it had to be.
"Disregard nihilism, embrace Satan." Should've listened to my own advice.

Fourthly, unlike me, this wasn't your fault. I know it hurts, but you must understand that. Just because you're not perfect doesn't mean you (somehow) caused it. If there's a problem in a relationship, you talk about it. It's that simple.

I know I mixed my experience with yours, but I hope it made you feel better. It always helps talking to someone who's been over a horrible breakup when you're in pain from it. It shows that there is a way out of the pain even though it might not feel like it at the time of the breakup.

*HUG* And hugs help out too

 

[DarkAmaranthine]

...

Hey. Best thing you can do is focus on meditation and spirituality. I've experienced a similar breakup(though it was my fault in this case, which made me feel even worse) and I know it feels like crap and how what you're currently feeling won't ever end.

I felt like a piece of my soul was torn away. I'm not phased by much, but boy I think it gave me PTSD and sent be down a 2 year path of darkness I never wish to walk on.

I don't want the same to happen to you. First, I suggest you let it all out. Cry as much as you need, don't try to hold it in. Please!
I didn't allow myself to be healed before starting a new relationship and it ended up a disaster. I too also wanted a Demon lover after that, but I decided not to. Mainly because I still hope to find a Human lover and have a family... but I came really close to giving up on that and just be with a Demoness.

So again, let it all out. Process the breakup. Otherwise the pain will poison just about everything you love and care. Pay attention to the signs Gods give you. In my case, they came in form of YouTube recommended videos. And don't ignore them if they seem out of place. I got recommended videos on how to deal with a breakup in a stoic manner. And I never searched anything about stoicism(nor how to deal with breakups) on youtube or google!

Secondly, find something that gives your comfort. It could be a new hobby, maybe a new beverage, anything. I found that warmth helps out with the pain. I felt much worse if the room I was in wasn't warm, coldness somehow enhanced the feelings of pain and loneliness. So if you can, put your AC on the highest setting and warm the room up. Hugging a pillow also helped out.

Thirdly, start meditating. The sooner you raise your bio-electricity, the better. I was doing good with meditations before the breakup and I had high bio-electricity and, despite feeling like a wounded animal, the pain wasn't completely clouding my mind. I could still feel a weird wound in my soul, like someone stabbed it with a knife. But it didn't control me. Unfortunately, you will have to fight off the feelings of depression, loneliness, until you process the pain. Something which I failed at, making the pain much worse than it had to be.
"Disregard nihilism, embrace Satan." Should've listened to my own advice.

Fourthly, unlike me, this wasn't your fault. I know it hurts, but you must understand that. Just because you're not perfect doesn't mean you (somehow) caused it. If there's a problem in a relationship, you talk about it. It's that simple.

I know I mixed my experience with yours, but I hope it made you feel better. It always helps talking to someone who's been over a horrible breakup when you're in pain from it. It shows that there is a way out of the pain even though it might not feel like it at the time of the breakup.

*HUG* And hugs help out too

Didn't think we'd get the chance to talk after everything that happened then.

I guess it's been... two long years in which we both went through our hardships and processes.

If you want to get in touch again, send me a message on what we used to talk on. My phone got messed with these past days and it went through a reset for absolutely no reason so I don't have your number anymore.

 

[DarkAmaranthine]

You don't approve of subcultures? Leather has had a long association with bands ever since The Ramones popularized it.

It was only one suggestion. What I'm saying is that she needs change. In this case, a dramatic change I believe is best.

She doesn't need to join a subculture or create a new identity, she needs to cope, and be totally herself.

So it's a difference of opinion over what she needs. What she asked for is advice and suggestions, and I thought it was best to give more variety for her to select from rather than saying the things that have already been said.

Going out in the world and exploring yourself is a way to cope as well. You saying she needs to cope doesn't make sense here as an argument towards me because she already knows that, and she was asking for ways to cope, as in ideas. I offered one such idea.

Here's what I don't think she needs: staying in her house with her negative emotions brewing within her and eating at her. In my opinion, the sooner she is able to go out and do something new the better. She needs something fresh to explore that she hasn't done before. Something new and exciting in life that will keep her occupied while she heals. Maybe she should meet new people instead of staying exclusively within her current friend group. In any case, I think if she dwells on this for too long then she's going to drive herself crazy so she needs something new to focus on. She shouldn't process what happened to her for anymore than a month, in my opinion. After that it's just wasting time when she could be out having fun new experiences and enjoying life. She will still have moments where she gets triggered and cries, but it will be better and healthier than if she's stuck where she is now in this stage of her life. Expansion and exploration, that's what I'm suggesting to her. A new outfit and choice of activity (concerts) was just one single idea for this, a mere example.

I know what I want. The Gods helped me so much in this - i don't think I would've found out without Them. My intuition is strong, but my trust is stronger. What made me check his Discord that night was... incredibly strong.

It did affect my self-confidence and self-esteem quite a lot, but... I feel good. I feel like I can breathe again. I feel like my will and passion for studying and improving myself is slowly returning.

It will take a while, I know. But I want to prove to Father Satan and to my GD that I can be a good SS and that I am grateful for all the help they have offered me.

After all of this, I feel like I can be something else again.

I'm not a very outgoing person - I live in a village as well. Not a lot to do here. But I will definitely try to be more active and focus on my hobbies again - which I had neglected.

 

[DarkAmaranthine]

Literally makes no sense.

You don't approve of subcultures? Leather has had a long association with bands ever since The Ramones popularized it.

It was only one suggestion. What I'm saying is that she needs change. In this case, a dramatic change I believe is best.

She doesn't need to join a subculture or create a new identity, she needs to cope, and be totally herself.

Thank you. I am trying to be myself right now.

I feel like I haven't been myself for a really long time now.

At least I have some good reading to do while dealing with this situation and studying. Nietzsche, Gibbon. Hume. I feel like nothing heals the soul more than a good book.

 

[NinRick]

The thing is, I told him. Repeatedly. But he was still pushy about doing what he wanted.

I know. I just feel so used. Honestly, I even regret meeting him. Very few good things came out of this relationship. And cheating is one of the things I despise the most.

Awh my cute poor little Pisces friend

 

[Sundara]

I've been a Satanist for a while now... even if I haven't been active on the forums.

But I'm in a situation that... begs for help. Not directly. Just... advice and emotional help.

I've been struggling a lot with my life. University and spiritualism. Until recent years, I was a workaholic and always based my achievements on what I can do. Nothing else. And now...

Now that I'm failing, I feel like I have no value. But the only thing that was going perfectly fine was my relationship.

We've been together for two years. After my mother and the Gods, he's the person I love the most. He's... my heart. I trusted him so, so much. We were doing so well.

Well, a week ago he went to a New Years party. After that... he changed. He told me half of his family is high risk with covid. Dying. He said that he wants us to take a break - in which we agreed we are still, officially, in a relationship -. I helped him so much with university throughout these two years. Even this week, I did... everything for him. Knowing his life must be a struggle at the moment.

Tonight, I just... realized some things he said didn't match. I have a pretty strong intuition. And my intuition has been saying, for a week, that something is horribly, horribly wrong. I don't know what impulse made me check out his discord - I know it's wrong, but I do have his most used passwords thanks to helping him with uni so much - and...

I saw everything. He's been in a relationship since the 4th of February with another girl. A girl I know. He lied to her that... we broke up. I saw the texts with his best friend, planning this stuff.

There's so much. So much... betrayal. So many wrong and hurtful things. Even now, he lies and tries to save his ass by saying we did break up.

We've been talking this time. I've been sending him homework. And messages of encouragement. He's been calling me almost daily.

I sent her screenshots of everything and she realized... what happened.

His lie is over. Everything is over. The man I trusted and loved so much. The man I was hoping to marry. Every relationship I had until now ended because of infidelity on their part.

I've been failing quite a lot in every aspect of my life. Except this one.

And his infidelity sent... every last piece of self-esteem and self-worth down the drain. I feel empty. I feel broken. I feel like... I'm nothing.

I've done so much for this relationship. I've given every last bit of my heart. I wasn't perfect. But I've been doing my best to improve for him. To maintain this relationship.

And we were doing so well. Our relationship was doing so good. And then...

I've had trust issues... for a very long time. But I trusted him. Until this feeling of dread and of... "something IS happening" pushed me to check his discord. It was just TOO strong. I knew something was wrong. The whole week has been a... build up to this.

And now I'm left broken. I don't know how I'm going to tell my mother or... how I'm going to recover from this.

Besides that, I have problems in my family as well. My uncle is an alcoholic and tends to get abusive. My mother is also an alcoholic and seeing her drink herself to death every death just... affects me in horrible ways.

I would love some advice, to be honest. Not for revenge. I'm... not interested in that right now.

Advice for how to... improve myself spiritually and raise from this point in my life. Because I've hit the lowest point in my life and I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to recover from this.

You should be sure to cut him off completely and get a full rebound. Focus on yourself and work to moving on. Keep affirming and knowing that this behavior has nothing to do with your looks, value, ect, it’s him with the self-worth issues most likely. People can be dishonest with themselves, unable to communicate because they’re cowardly, or just outright selfish. If he’s willing to offer a valid explanation and say what went wrong in the relationship it’s helpful but not necessary. I don’t like to seek closure from others past a certain point and give it to myself.

I've gotten enough details from people to realize he was making really bad excuses to justify break up. A break up that didn't even exist. He is trying to justify cheating. Now that we had actually broken up, things are tough but... I'll get better. Slowly.

I know he'll regret this in time. And I know he'll get what he deserves.

But right now I'm too heartbroken to think about revenge.

Yeah I wouldn’t recommend any direct revenge for cheating it’s completely pointless. You’re better than all of that.

 

[DarkAmaranthine]

The thing is, I told him. Repeatedly. But he was still pushy about doing what he wanted.

I know. I just feel so used. Honestly, I even regret meeting him. Very few good things came out of this relationship. And cheating is one of the things I despise the most.

Awh my cute poor little Pisces friend

...how did you know?! XD

 

[NinRick]

The thing is, I told him. Repeatedly. But he was still pushy about doing what he wanted.

I know. I just feel so used. Honestly, I even regret meeting him. Very few good things came out of this relationship. And cheating is one of the things I despise the most.

Awh my cute poor little Pisces friend

...how did you know?! XD

Who knows?

You were supposed to tell me that I am wrong, my bad sorry, I should have known better.

 

[Jrvan]

She doesn't need to join a subculture or create a new identity, she needs to cope, and be totally herself.

So it's a difference of opinion over what she needs. What she asked for is advice and suggestions, and I thought it was best to give more variety for her to select from rather than saying the things that have already been said.

Going out in the world and exploring yourself is a way to cope as well. You saying she needs to cope doesn't make sense here as an argument towards me because she already knows that, and she was asking for ways to cope, as in ideas. I offered one such idea.

Here's what I don't think she needs: staying in her house with her negative emotions brewing within her and eating at her. In my opinion, the sooner she is able to go out and do something new the better. She needs something fresh to explore that she hasn't done before. Something new and exciting in life that will keep her occupied while she heals. Maybe she should meet new people instead of staying exclusively within her current friend group. In any case, I think if she dwells on this for too long then she's going to drive herself crazy so she needs something new to focus on. She shouldn't process what happened to her for anymore than a month, in my opinion. After that it's just wasting time when she could be out having fun new experiences and enjoying life. She will still have moments where she gets triggered and cries, but it will be better and healthier than if she's stuck where she is now in this stage of her life. Expansion and exploration, that's what I'm suggesting to her. A new outfit and choice of activity (concerts) was just one single idea for this, a mere example.

I know what I want. The Gods helped me so much in this - i don't think I would've found out without Them. My intuition is strong, but my trust is stronger. What made me check his Discord that night was... incredibly strong.

It did affect my self-confidence and self-esteem quite a lot, but... I feel good. I feel like I can breathe again. I feel like my will and passion for studying and improving myself is slowly returning.

It will take a while, I know. But I want to prove to Father Satan and to my GD that I can be a good SS and that I am grateful for all the help they have offered me.

After all of this, I feel like I can be something else again.

I'm not a very outgoing person - I live in a village as well. Not a lot to do here. But I will definitely try to be more active and focus on my hobbies again - which I had neglected.

Good. That's good you can breathe now. He was special to you, but he's not the center of your universe. And as hard as it is, and as much as you wanted him to be part of your life and can't imagine life without him, it will get easier. It's a little hard for me to say these words to you, to be honest. That's because I know what it means to make yourself a part of someone's life and form a deep, special connection and bond. I know and can feel exactly how hard it would be for my wife if I was no longer in her life, for any reason. I know her heart wouldn't be able to take it. So I didn't want to say these things to you like the others were, and instead I focused my advice on what I thought would have the best chance of helping you to find enjoyment in life and new experiences. Not knowing you personally, I took the generalized approach. Exploring the world and having an adventure, expanding one's horizons... basically showing you that the world is bigger than your own life circumstances, and there's more to connect to and experience.

I guess that's difficult if you live somewhere like that. Saving up money for traveling one day might be a good idea anyway, even if you don't use it. Having the option is nice.

 

[DarkAmaranthine]

Awh my cute poor little Pisces friend

...how did you know?! XD

Who knows?

You were supposed to tell me that I am wrong, my bad sorry, I should have known better.

I was so confused when you said that. XD

Either way, thank you very much for all the advice. I'm still suffering - I think he's trying to get together with the other girl, so yeah - but I know I'll find someone better.

As I have said, I feel a deep yearning to feel love and to love. All I want from this life is to do my duty as a SS, find a decent job and have my own place, my own family.

My childhood and teenager hood had been so horrible that all I want is a quiet, fulfilling and simple life.

 

[DarkAmaranthine]

So it's a difference of opinion over what she needs. What she asked for is advice and suggestions, and I thought it was best to give more variety for her to select from rather than saying the things that have already been said.

Going out in the world and exploring yourself is a way to cope as well. You saying she needs to cope doesn't make sense here as an argument towards me because she already knows that, and she was asking for ways to cope, as in ideas. I offered one such idea.

Here's what I don't think she needs: staying in her house with her negative emotions brewing within her and eating at her. In my opinion, the sooner she is able to go out and do something new the better. She needs something fresh to explore that she hasn't done before. Something new and exciting in life that will keep her occupied while she heals. Maybe she should meet new people instead of staying exclusively within her current friend group. In any case, I think if she dwells on this for too long then she's going to drive herself crazy so she needs something new to focus on. She shouldn't process what happened to her for anymore than a month, in my opinion. After that it's just wasting time when she could be out having fun new experiences and enjoying life. She will still have moments where she gets triggered and cries, but it will be better and healthier than if she's stuck where she is now in this stage of her life. Expansion and exploration, that's what I'm suggesting to her. A new outfit and choice of activity (concerts) was just one single idea for this, a mere example.

I know what I want. The Gods helped me so much in this - i don't think I would've found out without Them. My intuition is strong, but my trust is stronger. What made me check his Discord that night was... incredibly strong.

It did affect my self-confidence and self-esteem quite a lot, but... I feel good. I feel like I can breathe again. I feel like my will and passion for studying and improving myself is slowly returning.

It will take a while, I know. But I want to prove to Father Satan and to my GD that I can be a good SS and that I am grateful for all the help they have offered me.

After all of this, I feel like I can be something else again.

I'm not a very outgoing person - I live in a village as well. Not a lot to do here. But I will definitely try to be more active and focus on my hobbies again - which I had neglected.

Good. That's good you can breathe now. He was special to you, but he's not the center of your universe. And as hard as it is, and as much as you wanted him to be part of your life and can't imagine life without him, it will get easier. It's a little hard for me to say these words to you, to be honest. That's because I know what it means to make yourself a part of someone's life and form a deep, special connection and bond. I know and can feel exactly how hard it would be for my wife if I was no longer in her life, for any reason. I know her heart wouldn't be able to take it. So I didn't want to say these things to you like the others were, and instead I focused my advice on what I thought would have the best chance of helping you to find enjoyment in life and new experiences. Not knowing you personally, I took the generalized approach. Exploring the world and having an adventure, expanding one's horizons... basically showing you that the world is bigger than your own life circumstances, and there's more to connect to and experience.

I guess that's difficult if you live somewhere like that. Saving up money for traveling one day might be a good idea anyway, even if you don't use it. Having the option is nice.

Oh yes, I understand your intentions. Maybe a radical change would help me more now. Believe me, at the moment I do feel like... leaving everything behind to go somewhere new, start something new.

But I have to finish a degree I no longer enjoy and... settle my life a bit. I was planning on going to a another country during the summer for work. Might take an additional semester to finish my license paper.

For now, I want to take things easy. I am pressured from every side to do something greater and greater with my life just because I have the potential - but all I want is to have a nice, quiet life.

 

[CrossRoadsPedestrian]

You sound like a good person who tries to do the right thing. However, you are probably doing something wrong to attract this type of energy into your life, unless you are just really that unlucky


Please don't let these types of experiences create a reverse hyper-polarization of your personality in which you turn into a clingy untrusting partner to your future lovers as a result of being betrayed.

Yes, cheating partners are pieces of shit who deserve bad things do happen to them. BUT, you also have on the opposite spectrum, partners who are so clingy and untrusting as well. Don't treat your future partners any differently in this manner because of an experience you had with a previous partner. Its not fair to them. It will just create a vicious cycle wherein the energies you are put out will come right back at you in a worse form.

You need to stop paying attention to this person. They are now a parasite. Be patient, live your life as an individual, and one day a better person will come your way. Just please please please, if you are thinking about altering your behavior and worldviews as a result of this experience, don't let your emotions dictate how you will change. Let the emotions be the motivating force, not do not let them be in charge of what you should do moving forward....