Serious personal problems

[vabzirteloch]

Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a „friend”, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know this guy for at least 6 years...
The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a „mask” when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my „friends”, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice „act, speak and live like the person you want to be”, I think „That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself”.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Always a good thing to open up vabzirteloch,quit thinking that you are a loser,or not a real man because you cried.A real man is emotional at times,and it is nothing to be ashamed of.So you are not like,or feel like you don't fit in.You really don't want to fit in with most people anyway.None of us ,me included,don't have many friends.Remember we are not sheep,so we will not fit in.So don't let the enemy discourage you in any way.If you are a dedicated Satanist,then you are a valuable asset to Satan's family. The enemy for years have made us feel that we were nothing,but Satan is always making us more,than what we ever were before we dedicated to Him.And when the time is right,you do have a lot to offer another SS.Just concentrate on your Yoga,and Power meditations,and always put an aura of protection around you.As you grow in Satan,you will start feeling better about yourself,and your life will start to make more sense.Hail SatanBrian

From: vabzirteloch <vabzirteloch@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, December 14, 2011 3:07 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Serious personal problems

  Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a &#8222;friend&#8221;, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know this guy for at least 6 years...
The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a &#8222;mask&#8221; when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my &#8222;friends&#8221;, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice &#8222;act, speak and live like the person you want to be&#8221;, I think &#8222;That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself&#8221;.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[strengththroughsatan89]

As Brian has already stated you really do not want to be associated with the majority of people out there anyway. They are the mindless slaves of the jew and they all hold the traits of their masters. You even mentioned one they are leeches and only know how to take and ask. As you mentioned about getting drunk this is a social norm within our age group and so is smoking weed. If you ask me if getting drunk or getting high is the way of joining social groups than I would rather be a loner. So do not think of yourself as a loser you are far stronger than those who think they need to get drunk and find pleasure in doing such things. It is important you remember this YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THEM. Hanging out with those type of people will only end badly in the end. What you are feeling is probably social pressure and only hanging out with these kind of people will make things as I said worse.

Ok I never thought I would have to do this again but I will do so to show you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

In the past I have shared exactly the same feelings and emotions that you feel right now and I mean EXACTLY. It was about seven years ago so I will recall what I can.

When I was young (in my early double digits) I began to grow more and more alienated from those around me. By doing so I was constantly attacked by everyone around me. I can not tell you how emotonally and mentally abused I was. This led me to do anything that I thought I could to gain the acceptance of the social groups. I did things that I now regret and know it was not worth it. With this going on I began to feel nothing but hatred for those around me. Soon hatred was all that I could think, feel, speak. It destroyed me inside and I was an empty shell. I began to have thoughts of suicide and would scratch myself just to feel something. I also began to take my anger and hate on those around me. Because of being an empty shell and wished to shun people out of anger due to what they did to me I showed no emotion. I trained myself not to smile. Even after much healing I still do not trust people I am not a socialable person. I have told several people this and they are here on the group. Those who know me can tell you the same thing. Something good that came out of all of this is that I am a VERY strong and independent individual. Due to being alienated I had only myself to rely upon and that has transfered over to my Satanic life which is a benefit.

Over time I have come to the conclusion that we were born to be Satanists. We were with the Gods in a past life and the energy that we gained in a past life the gifts we gained in a past life have followed us into this one. This causes our aura to be different than the sheep and this is why many of us were alienated and did not fit in. This is not a bad thing in my opinion as it helps us not to be affected by the enemy. This can be hard trust me I and you know better than anyone but there is light at the end of the tunnel trust me.

When it comes to crying do not be ashamed, I have cried at times as does any normal human being. Gender stereotypes are 100 percet shit. As with anything there must be equilbrium and emotion is no exception. By suppressing certain emotions is never good. So cry all you want and do not feel ashamed as feeling ashamed will again make things worse. Crying is a way of dealing with things and trust me it is a cleanser. Away from this topic when I was touched by Satan recently when I was talking to him his energy made me shed tears. I am sure men and women on these groups can say the same. Get away from gender stereotypes and just be human.

Since everyone grows in their own way I can only tell you to have more faith in yourself. Try to rely on yourself more instead of hanging out with friends for support, supply your own support. Meditate on yourself, meditate on your strenfths and bring them into the physical world, make them reality. Know that you are you and no one and nothing can and should not affect that. You are a Spiritual Satanist, you are above the herd, you were born to be a God. By relying on yourself and believing in your self is the way to begin the healing process. Do not be afraid of it for it will be very rewarding. It will be a struggle, you will face many things you may not life but everything beneficial is worth fighting for.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "vabzirteloch" <vabzirteloch@... wrote:

Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a „friend”, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know this guy for at least 6 years...
The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a „mask” when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my „friends”, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice „act, speak and live like the person you want to be”, I think „That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself”.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[strengththroughsatan89]

Also yes you and I probably had an incounter in a past life that brought this upon us. That is one possability but I also found after having my astro chart done by Maxine that everything that happened in my childhood was their in my chart. Also in my chart showed healing. I am sure you have similar aspects to your chart and I know there is healing in your future. It will happen without you even knowing it trust me it happened to me this way. But you also must take action as this will speed up the process. There are spiritual things to help you heal but I always believe we should not rely solely on our spiritual gifts to help us but take action on our own.

If you ever need to talk just email me and I will do what I can. I experienced much the same as you so trust me I can help.

Dark Blessings

Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "vabzirteloch" <vabzirteloch@... wrote:

Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a „friend”, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know this guy for at least 6 years...
The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a „mask” when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my „friends”, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice „act, speak and live like the person you want to be”, I think „That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself”.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[Joshua Mckee]

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From: strengththroughsatan89 <horrorfan89@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, December 14, 2011 9:03 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Serious personal problems

  Also yes you and I probably had an incounter in a past life that brought this upon us. That is one possability but I also found after having my astro chart done by Maxine that everything that happened in my childhood was their in my chart. Also in my chart showed healing. I am sure you have similar aspects to your chart and I know there is healing in your future. It will happen without you even knowing it trust me it happened to me this way. But you also must take action as this will speed up the process. There are spiritual things to help you heal but I always believe we should not rely solely on our spiritual gifts to help us but take action on our own.

If you ever need to talk just email me and I will do what I can. I experienced much the same as you so trust me I can help.

Dark Blessings

Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "vabzirteloch" <vabzirteloch@... wrote:

Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a &#8222;friend&#8221;, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I

know this guy for at least 6 years...

The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a &#8222;mask&#8221; when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't

want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my &#8222;friends&#8221;, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now,

as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice &#8222;act, speak and live like the person you want to be&#8221;, I think &#8222;That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself&#8221;.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes

too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[kenessa dunn]

Ur not alone. I have been like that for yrs. I do my chakras and clean my aura and feel so much better. Im me if u wanna talkOn Wed, Dec 14, 2011 3:07 PM CST vabzirteloch wrote: Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well? So here it goes: I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a „friend”, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know
this guy for at least 6 years... The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve. I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure... I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a „mask” when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too
concerned about what others might think about me. I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my „friends”, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with
very soon, and I'm afraid of that time. My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too. So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice „act, speak and live like the person you want to be”, I think „That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself”. I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys
think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me. I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this. HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[ninja2skilled]

I'm 17 so im not sure if you'll take my advice as strongly but this advice his served me well in my years in life, just stop caring what people think you're your own person you have to take charge of your life and do what you want and stop living to what you think you're forced to do, dont like parties? dont go. do what makes you happy and think life is worth living, if you hold on to all these notions on how to live your life you become a slave to them, instead of having preconcieved notions just try and live your life to what makes sense and makes you happy its as simple as that its not as hard as you think, every time you get a chance to face a fear or break free out of something that enslaves you from what you dont like, try and find a way around it or to break it and try and get it out of your life and live with the things that are positive and make you happy! and another thing you can do is when you're meditating give yourself some energy to help with your needs/wants whatever they may be! hope any of this advice helped with your life and really hope you start living your life in a positive way that you want to live!

Hail Father Satan
Hail all the demons of hell!

 

[darrklady13]

Thanks for sharing Vab. You sound quite "normal" to me, and your not a loser.
A loser for what? because you aren't in the in crowd, or driving a Mercedes, or fucking a hot girl?

That doesn't make anyone a loser. And your not a loser for having emotions, a gift of Satan.

I don't have many friends, NEVER have in my entire life, had more than a couple friends I hung with. Now I have had co workers who were close, cuz we worked together constantly. But no socializing outside of work, really.

Consider yourself lucky you aren't one of "them."
The feelings of loneliness you have will change as you grow older, and you will be more confident of who you are. And knowing that whoever you are, is fine with Satan, fine with YOURSELF.

You don't have to make others happy. Make YOU HAPPY. Learn what you love and don't love, same for people you CHOOSE to love, who are WORTHY OF YOUR LOVE OR FRIENDSHIP. You can hate the ones who snub you, I did. And there is no guilt in it at all.

Love yourself, and you will in time. When you do, you won't give a fuck what others think, as you kmow yourself and what your capable of.

Its just growing pains, thats what I call it.

Again, thanks for sharing this.

hailz

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "vabzirteloch" <vabzirteloch@... wrote:

Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a „friend”, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know this guy for at least 6 years...
The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a „mask” when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my „friends”, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice „act, speak and live like the person you want to be”, I think „That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself”.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Ya I get that strengththroughsatan,I can see where my phobia's,come from past life experiences too.Hail SatanBrian

From: strengththroughsatan89 <horrorfan89@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, December 14, 2011 11:03 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Serious personal problems

  Also yes you and I probably had an incounter in a past life that brought this upon us. That is one possability but I also found after having my astro chart done by Maxine that everything that happened in my childhood was their in my chart. Also in my chart showed healing. I am sure you have similar aspects to your chart and I know there is healing in your future. It will happen without you even knowing it trust me it happened to me this way. But you also must take action as this will speed up the process. There are spiritual things to help you heal but I always believe we should not rely solely on our spiritual gifts to help us but take action on our own.

If you ever need to talk just email me and I will do what I can. I experienced much the same as you so trust me I can help.

Dark Blessings

Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "vabzirteloch" <vabzirteloch@... wrote:

Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a &#8222;friend&#8221;, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know this guy for at least 6 years...
The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a &#8222;mask&#8221; when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my &#8222;friends&#8221;, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice &#8222;act, speak and live like the person you want to be&#8221;, I think &#8222;That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself&#8221;.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[vabzirteloch]

Thank you guys for the answers and support. It's good to hear that I'm not alone with these feelings and problems. I guess I had been programmed severely by society (and enemy teachings) to think the way I think. I've always been different from the others, even as a child, and I know I have to free my soul form these things to really empower myself. Sometimes I feel the only creatures I could really love, are animals. They don't want your for your money, they don't fuck you over on purpose, they have no evil in their hearts. My love for animals has grown a lot in the last 10 years.

Again, thanks for the advice and help.

Vabzir Teloch

HAIL SATAN!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "vabzirteloch" <vabzirteloch@... wrote:

Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a „friend”, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know this guy for at least 6 years...
The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a „mask” when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my „friends”, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice „act, speak and live like the person you want to be”, I think „That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself”.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[Indigo Nation]

I hope you find some people that will accept you for who you are. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you shouldn't have to hide yourself. Being sensitive (which usually means caring as well) I actually think is a wonderful trait to be honest, BTW I am a guy Think about it where did the ideas of what a man is come from anyway (in todays society the mainstream idea that most accept has to be kike inspired/unbalanced same with a woman the idea that anyone has to be any certain way is stupid) or a loser think about that. A loser is a different thing to different people. Remember your always a winner in the eyes of someone in this world and about being sensitive people that pick on the sensitive people often have underlying issues where they themselves are overly sensitive themselves. Just like people who will call you gay the people making remarks like this are often gay themselves or bisexual and trying to hide it (this is what my counsolor said to me btw) I honestly think its very unhealthy to try to mask who you truly are. An important part (probably one of the most important steps) in spiritual advancement is learning to know yourself for who you truly are and accept yourself. I should note everyone is different, I know it can be hard. Harder for some than others.
Here are a few articles on it.
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... OUGHT.html
Also i directly address the issues you are dealing with on my website.
http://spiritualtruth.yolasite.com/the- ... ociety.php

I can't say how to overcome not trusting anyone. Lets just say its best not to but I myself am dealing with the issue of hating not having many friends. So im still working on in my mind on what to do you too have to make a decision on what you want. I honestly would say if someone doesn't accept you for you or makes fun of you or your beliefs constantly they are NOT your friend at all.
Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Always a good thing to open up vabzirteloch,quit thinking that you are a loser,or not a real man because you cried.A real man is emotional at times,and it is nothing to be ashamed of.So you are not like,or feel like you don't fit in.You really don't want to fit in with most people anyway.None of us ,me included,don't have many friends.Remember we are not sheep,so we will not fit in.So don't let the enemy discourage you in any way.If you are a dedicated Satanist,then you are a valuable asset to Satan's family. The enemy for years have made us feel that we were nothing,but Satan is always making us more,than what we ever were before we dedicated to Him.And when the time is right,you do have a lot to offer another SS.Just concentrate on your Yoga,and Power meditations,and always put an aura of protection around you.As you grow in Satan,you will start feeling better about yourself,and your life will start to make more sense.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: vabzirteloch <vabzirteloch@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Wednesday, December 14, 2011 3:07 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Serious personal problems


 
Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a „friend”, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know this guy for at least 6 years...
The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a „mask” when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my „friends”, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice „act, speak and live like the person you want to be”, I think „That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself”.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[vabzirteloch]

Thanks, Indigo, I read your article.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Indigo Nation" <gutterrainbow@... wrote:

I hope you find some people that will accept you for who you are. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you shouldn't have to hide yourself. Being sensitive (which usually means caring as well) I actually think is a wonderful trait to be honest, BTW I am a guy Think about it where did the ideas of what a man is come from anyway (in todays society the mainstream idea that most accept has to be kike inspired/unbalanced same with a woman the idea that anyone has to be any certain way is stupid) or a loser think about that. A loser is a different thing to different people. Remember your always a winner in the eyes of someone in this world and about being sensitive people that pick on the sensitive people often have underlying issues where they themselves are overly sensitive themselves. Just like people who will call you gay the people making remarks like this are often gay themselves or bisexual and trying to hide it (this is what my counsolor said to me btw) I honestly think its very unhealthy to try to mask who you truly are. An important part (probably one of the most important steps) in spiritual advancement is learning to know yourself for who you truly are and accept yourself. I should note everyone is different, I know it can be hard. Harder for some than others.
Here are a few articles on it.
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... OUGHT.html
Also i directly address the issues you are dealing with on my website.
http://spiritualtruth.yolasite.com/the- ... ociety.php

I can't say how to overcome not trusting anyone. Lets just say its best not to but I myself am dealing with the issue of hating not having many friends. So im still working on in my mind on what to do you too have to make a decision on what you want. I honestly would say if someone doesn't accept you for you or makes fun of you or your beliefs constantly they are NOT your friend at all.
Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Always a good thing to open up vabzirteloch,quit thinking that you are a loser,or not a real man because you cried.A real man is emotional at times,and it is nothing to be ashamed of.So you are not like,or feel like you don't fit in.You really don't want to fit in with most people anyway.None of us ,me included,don't have many friends.Remember we are not sheep,so we will not fit in.So don't let the enemy discourage you in any way.If you are a dedicated Satanist,then you are a valuable asset to Satan's family. The enemy for years have made us feel that we were nothing,but Satan is always making us more,than what we ever were before we dedicated to Him.And when the time is right,you do have a lot to offer another SS.Just concentrate on your Yoga,and Power meditations,and always put an aura of protection around you.As you grow in Satan,you will start feeling better about yourself,and your life will start to make more sense.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: vabzirteloch <vabzirteloch@
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Wednesday, December 14, 2011 3:07 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Serious personal problems


 
Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a „friend”, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know this guy for at least 6 years...
The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a „mask” when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my „friends”, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice „act, speak and live like the person you want to be”, I think „That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself”.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[Karen Krug]

Most of my life has been in ridicule and abuse mostly by my so called blood family .  It took me years to finally accept me for who I am and you know what those people do not matter anymore Now as I start my life the way I want it a peace has entered my spirit and now I feel I can truly be the person I was always meant to be
Hail Satan our dear and loving Father

From: vabzirteloch <vabzirteloch@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2011 12:21 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Serious personal problems

  Thanks, Indigo, I read your article.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Indigo Nation" <gutterrainbow@... wrote:

I hope you find some people that will accept you for who you are. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you shouldn't have to hide yourself. Being sensitive (which usually means caring as well) I actually think is a wonderful trait to be honest, BTW I am a guy Think about it where did the ideas of what a man is come from anyway (in todays society the mainstream idea that most accept has to be kike inspired/unbalanced same with a woman the idea that anyone has to be any certain way is stupid) or a loser think about that. A loser is a different thing to different people. Remember your always a winner in the eyes of someone in this world and about being sensitive people that pick on the sensitive people often have underlying issues where they themselves are overly sensitive themselves. Just like people who will call you gay the people making remarks like this are often gay themselves or bisexual and trying to hide it (this is what my counsolor said to me btw) I honestly think its very unhealthy to try to mask who you truly are. An important part (probably one of the most important steps) in spiritual advancement is learning to know yourself for who you truly are and accept yourself. I should note everyone is different, I know it can be hard. Harder for some than others.
Here are a few articles on it.
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... OUGHT.html
Also i directly address the issues you are dealing with on my website.
http://spiritualtruth.yolasite.com/the- ... ociety.php

I can't say how to overcome not trusting anyone. Lets just say its best not to but I myself am dealing with the issue of hating not having many friends. So im still working on in my mind on what to do you too have to make a decision on what you want. I honestly would say if someone doesn't accept you for you or makes fun of you or your beliefs constantly they are NOT your friend at all.
Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Always a good thing to open up vabzirteloch,quit thinking that you are a loser,or not a real man because you cried.A real man is emotional at times,and it is nothing to be ashamed of.So you are not like,or feel like you don't fit in.You really don't want to fit in with most people anyway.None of us ,me included,don't have many friends.Remember we are not sheep,so we will not fit in.So don't let the enemy discourage you in any way.If you are a dedicated Satanist,then you are a valuable asset to Satan's family. The enemy for years have made us feel that we were nothing,but Satan is always making us more,than what we ever were before we dedicated to Him.And when the time is right,you do have a lot to offer another SS.Just concentrate on your Yoga,and Power meditations,and always put an aura of protection around you.As you grow in Satan,you will start feeling better about yourself,and your life will start to make more sense.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: vabzirteloch <vabzirteloch@
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Wednesday, December 14, 2011 3:07 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Serious personal problems


 
Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a &#8222;friend&#8221;, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know this guy for at least 6 years...
The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a &#8222;mask&#8221; when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my &#8222;friends&#8221;, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice &#8222;act, speak and live like the person you want to be&#8221;, I think &#8222;That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself&#8221;.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[tfbailey1969]

You say you are concerned that Father Satan is mad that you do not like His creation. I don't think you have anything to worry about because despite what you say I think YOU LIKE PEOPLE. If you didn't like people why would you care how they look at you on the bus, why would you care if someone forgot your birthday, why would you be concerned about what others think about you. I used to be just like you. Always beating myself up for just not measuring up socially and relationship wise. I used to keep a score board with people and after I screwed up one too many times I was out of the "game". What my problem was was I did not know how to love myself. I did not think that I had anything to offer to a relationship or friendship. I was constantly selling myself short. Don't be so hard on yourself, a lot of what you are going through we have all gone through to some extent.
All those other people on the bus are wondering why and who is staring at them too. The only advice I can offer is what turned my entire life around and that is: Believe You Are Who Father Satan Says You Are and Believe You Can Do What Father Satan Says You Can Do.

Hail Satan!!
Death to the Xtian Church!!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "vabzirteloch" <vabzirteloch@... wrote:

Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a „friend”, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know this guy for at least 6 years...
The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a „mask” when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my „friends”, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice „act, speak and live like the person you want to be”, I think „That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself”.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Glad to see Karen,that you are starting to see who you really are in Satan's eyes,and the real you.I too have had to be deprogrammed,from the kike programs,and know now,that I am nothing that xtianity,or my family,told me I was either.Labels do hurt.And most of the time,are only used to lower your self esteem.But that shit doesn't work any more,when you are loved by Satan,and the Demons.Father Satan shows us how much we bare really worth,and that can not be taken away.Hail SatanBrian

From: Karen Krug <aries16640@...
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]
Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2011 5:39 PM
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Serious personal problems

  Most of my life has been in ridicule and abuse mostly by my so called blood family .  It took me years to finally accept me for who I am and you know what those people do not matter anymore Now as I start my life the way I want it a peace has entered my spirit and now I feel I can truly be the person I was always meant to be
Hail Satan our dear and loving Father

From: vabzirteloch <vabzirteloch@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2011 12:21 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Serious personal problems

  Thanks, Indigo, I read your article.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Indigo Nation" <gutterrainbow@... wrote:

I hope you find some people that will accept you for who you are. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you shouldn't have to hide yourself. Being sensitive (which usually means caring as well) I actually think is a wonderful trait to be honest, BTW I am a guy Think about it where did the ideas of what a man is come from anyway (in todays society the mainstream idea that most accept has to be kike inspired/unbalanced same with a woman the idea that anyone has to be any certain way is stupid) or a loser think about that. A loser is a different thing to different people. Remember your always a winner in the eyes of someone in this world and about being sensitive people that pick on the sensitive people often have underlying issues where they themselves are overly sensitive themselves. Just like people who will call you gay the people making remarks like this are often gay themselves or bisexual and trying to hide it (this is what my counsolor said to me btw) I honestly think its very unhealthy to try to mask who you truly are. An important part (probably one of the most important steps) in spiritual advancement is learning to know yourself for who you truly are and accept yourself. I should note everyone is different, I know it can be hard. Harder for some than others.
Here are a few articles on it.
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... OUGHT.html
Also i directly address the issues you are dealing with on my website.
http://spiritualtruth.yolasite.com/the- ... ociety.php

I can't say how to overcome not trusting anyone. Lets just say its best not to but I myself am dealing with the issue of hating not having many friends. So im still working on in my mind on what to do you too have to make a decision on what you want. I honestly would say if someone doesn't accept you for you or makes fun of you or your beliefs constantly they are NOT your friend at all.
Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Always a good thing to open up vabzirteloch,quit thinking that you are a loser,or not a real man because you cried.A real man is emotional at times,and it is nothing to be ashamed of.So you are not like,or feel like you don't fit in.You really don't want to fit in with most people anyway.None of us ,me included,don't have many friends.Remember we are not sheep,so we will not fit in.So don't let the enemy discourage you in any way.If you are a dedicated Satanist,then you are a valuable asset to Satan's family. The enemy for years have made us feel that we were nothing,but Satan is always making us more,than what we ever were before we dedicated to Him.And when the time is right,you do have a lot to offer another SS.Just concentrate on your Yoga,and Power meditations,and always put an aura of protection around you.As you grow in Satan,you will start feeling better about yourself,and your life will start to make more sense.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: vabzirteloch <vabzirteloch@
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Wednesday, December 14, 2011 3:07 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Serious personal problems


 
Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a &#8222;friend&#8221;, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know this guy for at least 6 years...
The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a &#8222;mask&#8221; when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my &#8222;friends&#8221;, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice &#8222;act, speak and live like the person you want to be&#8221;, I think &#8222;That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself&#8221;.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!

 

[Jane Doe]

First of all you need to stop caring so much about how people see you or what they think of you. Your opinion of yourself is all that matters. If you build up your self confidence others will notice it and take better to your personality. As far as trusting people, don't. I trust no one, aside from myself and my creator. Trust no one, that way when they screw you over its not a surprise because you expected them to. I am guessing you don't like being around people because you absorb their energies. Like being in the subway where people feel nervous for something, you absorb that and feel that way to. My brother is the same way and can only be around certain people for varied amounts of time before he starts losing his energy and taking on other peoples. It just means you are sensitive to peoples energies, its not a bad thing. Ok so your worried about girls liking you now that your a SS. To hang out with girls and get to know them you need to be social. So go hangout with your acquaintance/ friends or whatever they are and make people see you. If your dating someone long enough your beliefs should not affect the way they feel about you. If it does then they never cared for the real you. I do not care about the beliefs of people I am with because they are free to think however they want, as am I. Good luck. Hail Satan.
From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@...
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]
Sent: Friday, December 16, 2011 7:03 AM
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Serious personal problems

  Glad to see Karen,that you are starting to see who you really are in Satan's eyes,and the real you.I too have had to be deprogrammed,from the kike programs,and know now,that I am nothing that xtianity,or my family,told me I was either.Labels do hurt.And most of the time,are only used to lower your self esteem.But that shit doesn't work any more,when you are loved by Satan,and the Demons.Father Satan shows us how much we bare really worth,and that can not be taken away.Hail SatanBrian

From: Karen Krug <aries16640@...
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]
Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2011 5:39 PM
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Serious personal problems

  Most of my life has been in ridicule and abuse mostly by my so called blood family .  It took me years to finally accept me for who I am and you know what those people do not matter anymore Now as I start my life the way I want it a peace has entered my spirit and now I feel I can truly be the person I was always meant to be
Hail Satan our dear and loving Father

From: vabzirteloch <vabzirteloch@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2011 12:21 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Serious personal problems

  Thanks, Indigo, I read your article.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Indigo Nation" <gutterrainbow@... wrote:

I hope you find some people that will accept you for who you are. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you shouldn't have to hide yourself. Being sensitive (which usually means caring as well) I actually think is a wonderful trait to be honest, BTW I am a guy Think about it where did the ideas of what a man is come from anyway (in todays society the mainstream idea that most accept has to be kike inspired/unbalanced same with a woman the idea that anyone has to be any certain way is stupid) or a loser think about that. A loser is a different thing to different people. Remember your always a winner in the eyes of someone in this world and about being sensitive people that pick on the sensitive people often have underlying issues where they themselves are overly sensitive themselves. Just like people who will call you gay the people making remarks like this are often gay themselves or bisexual and trying to hide it (this is what my counsolor said to me btw) I honestly think its very unhealthy to try to mask who you truly are. An important part (probably one of the most important steps) in spiritual advancement is learning to know yourself for who you truly are and accept yourself. I should note everyone is different, I know it can be hard. Harder for some than others.
Here are a few articles on it.
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... OUGHT.html
Also i directly address the issues you are dealing with on my website.
http://spiritualtruth.yolasite.com/the- ... ociety.php

I can't say how to overcome not trusting anyone. Lets just say its best not to but I myself am dealing with the issue of hating not having many friends. So im still working on in my mind on what to do you too have to make a decision on what you want. I honestly would say if someone doesn't accept you for you or makes fun of you or your beliefs constantly they are NOT your friend at all.
Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Always a good thing to open up vabzirteloch,quit thinking that you are a loser,or not a real man because you cried.A real man is emotional at times,and it is nothing to be ashamed of.So you are not like,or feel like you don't fit in.You really don't want to fit in with most people anyway.None of us ,me included,don't have many friends.Remember we are not sheep,so we will not fit in.So don't let the enemy discourage you in any way.If you are a dedicated Satanist,then you are a valuable asset to Satan's family. The enemy for years have made us feel that we were nothing,but Satan is always making us more,than what we ever were before we dedicated to Him.And when the time is right,you do have a lot to offer another SS.Just concentrate on your Yoga,and Power meditations,and always put an aura of protection around you.As you grow in Satan,you will start feeling better about yourself,and your life will start to make more sense.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: vabzirteloch <vabzirteloch@
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Wednesday, December 14, 2011 3:07 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Serious personal problems


 
Hey brothers and sisters, I have never spoken to anyone about this, but I feel I have to do it now. I guess you're not really interested in my personal problems, which I totally understand, but I don't know who else I can tell this. And I wonder if any one of you have some of these problems as well?

So here it goes:

I think my life is a mess, and it's not going the way I wanted it to go. First of all I'm not really a social person, and I have only two people whom I can call a &#8222;friend&#8221;, but maybe this word is too strong... Only one of them wished me a happy birthday, the other one didn't, although we talked about my birthday just a few weeks before it, and when I went to the bathroom, he checked my ID to see when I was born, because he didn't know it! And I know this guy for at least 6 years...
The others I got to know at the university are all assholes, they cannot be trusted, they are like fucking leeches. They don't give, they just want to recieve.

I haven't been to a party for almost 2 years, because I don't like parties, I think everyone hates me or think about me as a loser. The only time I feel good at a party is when I'm drunk, but I don't want to be drunk, I don't want to lose control over my thoughts and actions anymore. But somehow I feel I have to go to parties, and I don't know why. I don't know if this is my real desire, or is it just the social pressure...

I'm very sensitive too, often I can't tell when one is joking or he wants to hurt me. I also feel nervous on buses or on the subway, because I think everyone is watching what I do, how I react. I always take up a &#8222;mask&#8221; when I'm out in the public alone, I don't smile, I don't want anyone to see any emotion on my face. I'm too concerned about what others might think about me.

I don't really like people, and I don't trust anyone. This post of mine is a big step for me, because I have never spoken about these problems in detail to anyone, not even my &#8222;friends&#8221;, because I don't trust them either. I'm afraid of what they might think about me after I told them about this. I don't want to see a psychologist, because talking to a total stranger in person about my problems would be a total emotional suicide for me (I know I would cry, and I would be really fucking embarrassed). I cried in front of my parents recently, and that was the worst day for me in a long time, I was ashamed (I'm 21, male). I thought they think I'm a fucking loser, not even a man, because men don't cry (I know it's bad to repress emotions, but I don't feel like crying when I'm alone)... I'm on the edge of crying right now, as every time I face with my weaknesses. I know these must be dealt with very soon, and I'm afraid of that time.

My another problem is that since I became a SS, I don't think any girl would like me after they find out I'm a SS. Therefore finding a girl is a problem for me (this is another thing that makes me feel I'm a loser), it was easier in high school, but I was very shy then too.

So basically this is it. As you can see, I'm a pretty fucking messed up person, with lots of emotional and social problems. I'm not the person I want to be, and when I hear the advice &#8222;act, speak and live like the person you want to be&#8221;, I think &#8222;That would not be me, I would just fool myself, I wouldn't be myself&#8221;.

I'm afraid to tell anything like this to anyone in person, because I think they might use it against me one time. This happened before, and maybe in earlier lifetimes too. I'm also afraid that Satan is angry at me because I don't like people, His Creation. To be honest, I'm afraid of what You guys think about me when you read this. As I said, this is a big step for me.

I appreciate any help, and I hope I'm not alone with this.

HAIL SATAN AND THE GODS OF DUAT!