sinbad
Member
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2023
- Messages
- 486
I'm having some serious concerns about my race... These are somewhat unarticulated thoughts. Apologies if it's difficult to read at times.
tl;dr
1. I don't know if I'm Jewish, which doesn't make sense and I know is also a form of psychic attack, but I just can't shake the feeling, and the feeling of no sense of belonging anywhere. I have some weird features, such as "Stahl's ear" which the origin of the word itself is apparently Germanic and Ashkenazi Jewish. I am worried is this some coen-gene reptillian DNA shit? And a few of the features listed in the Identify jews pdfs, albeit they are kinda common in Bengalis (I am one) bcos of heavy race-mixing in the Indian continent (full lips, slightly asian eyes, kinda weird ears, small bump in the nose but NOT like the ugly jew type nose). That being said, my features are harmonious and overall attractive, not uncanny looking and mismatched like a Jew. Is there a possibility of being a Jew Indian tho?? or Am i overthinking. Idk if anyone is familiar with MBTI would consider "INTJ" a "Jew-ey" personality? There is a lot to imply I am not a Jew, but it is hard to verify and is unreliable. E.g., the numbers "666" is/were prevalent in most of my legal documents, very strong attraction to the occult, paganism and the Norse/Greek Gods, frequent synchronicities etc., but how can I be sure?
2. I don't know if I am some sort of British bastard soul or Jewish or what and it's tearing me apart, I need a way to figure it out with certainty. What can I do? I almost Identify as being European and share in the grief over their plight, and I genuinely forget I'm not white and have to remind myself. Idk if this is just because of hatred of leftist politics over the years or... but it's kinda always been the case. Or Idk if this is from reading too much about European culture, extensive travels/scholarly studies in past lives, or due to having a mixed soul because for some reason I find Indian culture quite unnappealing. Perhaps if certain factors such as poverty wasn't so prevalent this would change my perception.
3. I am not attracted to my race because the Indian continent is too mixed-race and most of the one's in the UK do not look like me. I hate the fact India is a heavily mixed culture... Will this ever be rectified or have us seperate from the other types such as Dravidians and what not with our own countries? Most of the population density of Indian's in the UK are not the type of Indian's that I am attracted to. They are either brown, black, muslim or just straight up unnattractive or too dissimilar to me. I also see way too many attractive European women frequently because of the population ratio (naturally, beauty is rare, and so the higher the numbers of a population, the more chances of seeing that rarity) and seeing them, being attracted to them, whilst not seeing very many good examples of my own race is creating an unwanted attachment to them by sheer repetition and the void of no viable women of my own race. Even searching on Google and celebrities... They just don't... "feel right" or like they're of "my people" including North Indians. My personality is also incompatible with like 80% of people, which makes it harder to resist when these hoes and coal burners flirt with me as there is a creeping sense of desperation at this point due to heavy Libra placements, and because I am 24 and have not yet had sex because of the above dilemma^ my resolve is kinda starting to crack from their attention and the constant interaction with multiculturalism in my work sector. On top of this, I have horrible love/relationship karma, which just makes it all even harder... I see many of the actual attractive Indian's have annoyingly micsegenated with white or black men and I can never be sure of their cleanliness as they also lie about it. It feels very difficult to find a compatible partner considering all of the above factors. Will the love spell really work or does the extremity of factors require a more powerful magickal ability to overcome? How long does a love spell typically take? My HYADES fixed star is making me too hungry for sex which I've been desperately holding back.
4. I feel more closer to certain Iranian/Pakistani branches such as Sindhi's, despite being born in Bangladesh. Is it possible my real ratial heritage is there? If not, am I still able to date people from there or is India/Bangladesh too different racially and/or genetically.
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I am from Britain but I am Bangladeshi, however, I always feel like an alien around people who are from Bangladesh, as well as the Indian continent overall. In fact, I feel like a foreigner basically everywhere I go, not too dissimilar to the feeling I assume a mixed-race person experiences.
Admittedly, I haven't had much exposure to Indian culture, but I am really not attracted to it outside of the topic of spirituality, nor am I attracted to the people (namely women) and do not feel a sense of kinship with fellow Indians. I cannot view them as "my people", but I don't know why. In fact, I don't really feel I belong anywhere because of this. Which I hope does not somehow make me a jew. My throat/heart chakra is also weak, which worries me. And as I do not look like the typical Indian either. I look more Iranian with slight Asiatic features and very pale skin.
I hate the fact India is mixed race. How could this happen? I wish I had a country or something of the type of Indians that look like me. Just white. Not this mixed bullshit.
I've always felt attracted to European cultures, especially Britain and ESPECIALLY Medieval England in regards to any sort of mythological stuff. Almost as if I had been there before. There is a great feeling of familiarity and magnetism, same as how I felt towards the Greek Gods. I was extremely attracted to the occult and mythological beliefs present there. Which makes me wonder if some British soldier raped one of my ancestors and I have their blood memory or some shit.
tl;dr
1. I don't know if I'm Jewish, which doesn't make sense and I know is also a form of psychic attack, but I just can't shake the feeling, and the feeling of no sense of belonging anywhere. I have some weird features, such as "Stahl's ear" which the origin of the word itself is apparently Germanic and Ashkenazi Jewish. I am worried is this some coen-gene reptillian DNA shit? And a few of the features listed in the Identify jews pdfs, albeit they are kinda common in Bengalis (I am one) bcos of heavy race-mixing in the Indian continent (full lips, slightly asian eyes, kinda weird ears, small bump in the nose but NOT like the ugly jew type nose). That being said, my features are harmonious and overall attractive, not uncanny looking and mismatched like a Jew. Is there a possibility of being a Jew Indian tho?? or Am i overthinking. Idk if anyone is familiar with MBTI would consider "INTJ" a "Jew-ey" personality? There is a lot to imply I am not a Jew, but it is hard to verify and is unreliable. E.g., the numbers "666" is/were prevalent in most of my legal documents, very strong attraction to the occult, paganism and the Norse/Greek Gods, frequent synchronicities etc., but how can I be sure?
2. I don't know if I am some sort of British bastard soul or Jewish or what and it's tearing me apart, I need a way to figure it out with certainty. What can I do? I almost Identify as being European and share in the grief over their plight, and I genuinely forget I'm not white and have to remind myself. Idk if this is just because of hatred of leftist politics over the years or... but it's kinda always been the case. Or Idk if this is from reading too much about European culture, extensive travels/scholarly studies in past lives, or due to having a mixed soul because for some reason I find Indian culture quite unnappealing. Perhaps if certain factors such as poverty wasn't so prevalent this would change my perception.
3. I am not attracted to my race because the Indian continent is too mixed-race and most of the one's in the UK do not look like me. I hate the fact India is a heavily mixed culture... Will this ever be rectified or have us seperate from the other types such as Dravidians and what not with our own countries? Most of the population density of Indian's in the UK are not the type of Indian's that I am attracted to. They are either brown, black, muslim or just straight up unnattractive or too dissimilar to me. I also see way too many attractive European women frequently because of the population ratio (naturally, beauty is rare, and so the higher the numbers of a population, the more chances of seeing that rarity) and seeing them, being attracted to them, whilst not seeing very many good examples of my own race is creating an unwanted attachment to them by sheer repetition and the void of no viable women of my own race. Even searching on Google and celebrities... They just don't... "feel right" or like they're of "my people" including North Indians. My personality is also incompatible with like 80% of people, which makes it harder to resist when these hoes and coal burners flirt with me as there is a creeping sense of desperation at this point due to heavy Libra placements, and because I am 24 and have not yet had sex because of the above dilemma^ my resolve is kinda starting to crack from their attention and the constant interaction with multiculturalism in my work sector. On top of this, I have horrible love/relationship karma, which just makes it all even harder... I see many of the actual attractive Indian's have annoyingly micsegenated with white or black men and I can never be sure of their cleanliness as they also lie about it. It feels very difficult to find a compatible partner considering all of the above factors. Will the love spell really work or does the extremity of factors require a more powerful magickal ability to overcome? How long does a love spell typically take? My HYADES fixed star is making me too hungry for sex which I've been desperately holding back.
4. I feel more closer to certain Iranian/Pakistani branches such as Sindhi's, despite being born in Bangladesh. Is it possible my real ratial heritage is there? If not, am I still able to date people from there or is India/Bangladesh too different racially and/or genetically.
---------
I am from Britain but I am Bangladeshi, however, I always feel like an alien around people who are from Bangladesh, as well as the Indian continent overall. In fact, I feel like a foreigner basically everywhere I go, not too dissimilar to the feeling I assume a mixed-race person experiences.
Admittedly, I haven't had much exposure to Indian culture, but I am really not attracted to it outside of the topic of spirituality, nor am I attracted to the people (namely women) and do not feel a sense of kinship with fellow Indians. I cannot view them as "my people", but I don't know why. In fact, I don't really feel I belong anywhere because of this. Which I hope does not somehow make me a jew. My throat/heart chakra is also weak, which worries me. And as I do not look like the typical Indian either. I look more Iranian with slight Asiatic features and very pale skin.
I hate the fact India is mixed race. How could this happen? I wish I had a country or something of the type of Indians that look like me. Just white. Not this mixed bullshit.
I've always felt attracted to European cultures, especially Britain and ESPECIALLY Medieval England in regards to any sort of mythological stuff. Almost as if I had been there before. There is a great feeling of familiarity and magnetism, same as how I felt towards the Greek Gods. I was extremely attracted to the occult and mythological beliefs present there. Which makes me wonder if some British soldier raped one of my ancestors and I have their blood memory or some shit.