hardstyle_and_shufflin
New member
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2003
- Messages
- 0
I did the dedication ritual in blood about a month ago. Those first 3 days i hardly slept ate and did much of anything except study father satan and the goetic demons and read almost every last drop of info on the joy of satan homepage. i did power meditations until i got physically sick. i was completely obsessed with my new spiritual path.
after the first week though i began to question if what i was following was the truth. in the past i was a christian albeit a confused one. so the doctrine about making sure what you believe is the truth has sorta been drilled into me very hard. of course i know that christianity isnt true, etc, i found way WAYYY to many obvious things about it that were screwed up to convince me it was a massive joke. but what im getting at is i ended up questioning spiritual satanism and the while theory about the nephilim and the aliens creating religion to distract humans and all that stuff. it all makes perfect sense when i used my head and reason about it, but since satan stresses using reason (at least this is what i read on joyofsatan) i began to reason about where the info came from, who got the info. how did i know someone didnt just make it all up? etc. i even began to dabble in druidism again and other various neopaganisms, etc, mainly bc my love for nature is massive.
so its been almost 2 or 3 weeks now since ive done anythign regarding satan bc i was using reasoning to figure out just how true what i was getting into was, but now i have been reassured that satanism IS the truth.
but does satan still accept me? does he understand that i was merely using reason? i read once that satan will never leave you unless you do like a reverse dedication and then he leaves you for good. i also read that he wont help those who dont study and remain diligent. but will he understand though that ive simply been making sure about everything?
after the first week though i began to question if what i was following was the truth. in the past i was a christian albeit a confused one. so the doctrine about making sure what you believe is the truth has sorta been drilled into me very hard. of course i know that christianity isnt true, etc, i found way WAYYY to many obvious things about it that were screwed up to convince me it was a massive joke. but what im getting at is i ended up questioning spiritual satanism and the while theory about the nephilim and the aliens creating religion to distract humans and all that stuff. it all makes perfect sense when i used my head and reason about it, but since satan stresses using reason (at least this is what i read on joyofsatan) i began to reason about where the info came from, who got the info. how did i know someone didnt just make it all up? etc. i even began to dabble in druidism again and other various neopaganisms, etc, mainly bc my love for nature is massive.
so its been almost 2 or 3 weeks now since ive done anythign regarding satan bc i was using reasoning to figure out just how true what i was getting into was, but now i have been reassured that satanism IS the truth.
but does satan still accept me? does he understand that i was merely using reason? i read once that satan will never leave you unless you do like a reverse dedication and then he leaves you for good. i also read that he wont help those who dont study and remain diligent. but will he understand though that ive simply been making sure about everything?