Did you really think that upon dedicating to Satan, into spiritual Satanism, that all your problems would disappear and life will be magickal and full of rainbows and sunshine, with a snap of your fingers?It doesn't work that way. Reality is reality. It doesn't go away. We have to face it daily. It's called LIFE.
What you put in is what you get out of it. Satan and the gods give us the knowledge. It's up to you what you do with what you are given.What you put into yourself, via yoga and power meditation, evolving yourself through other disciplines, is what you get out of it.
Keep studying Joy of Satan If you had read it thoroughly it would be highly likely you would not have the attitude you do, because the information on there is enlightening and opens one's eyes to the truth.
Please also see
http://www.exposingchristianity.com because then you would see that returning to the enemy religions, right back into the enemy's grip, you will be much more unhappy than you are now.
The enemy doesn't go away. Christians don't go away. In fact, they may sense you are no longer "of them" and not one of the sheep. They may pray harder for you. You may get enemy spirits harassing you. That is because you are a spiritual Satanist and therefore a threat to their agenda. Do you fold and let the enemy win? Do you really want to return to them because you cannot be bothered to read. study, and enlighten yourself first?
No, you take the necessary steps to protect yourself, harden and strengthen your body and mind and soul. The tools are there. You just have to use them.
http://web.archive.org/web/201503302044 ... stries.pdf
The above is a 40 Day Meditation Program by High Priest Hooded Cobra. It will help you get started. It's all up to you to change your life. The gods help those who help themselves. So get up, stay strong, and take the first step (which are usually the hardest) to better yourself, your life, and forge a strong relationship with Satan. It's worth it, all of it, despite the enemy. They are just annoying, once you learn to tune them out and ignore them.
However, if after all this, and you are dead set on leaving Satan and Satanism for good, you can just change the words around in the dedication ritual so it reads and says that you want him to leave you, and you are leaving him and Satanism, for good. I think it was HPS Maxine that wrote that "Satan doesn't force himself" on anyone.
Joy of Satan
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Hail Satan.