AudreyDhamer
New member
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2017
- Messages
- 29
Hello all, I have been on here with a few accounts in the past, the only memorable one being 'Niner'.
I have to admit, since dedicating in 2016, I have slowly lost my way, made little to no effort in meditations and have even made apologetics for Christianity/Christian nationalism on places such as /pol/.
I'm not that bad financially after selling my home.
Needless to say, I haven't been happy and have degenerated in many ways; I've become a boring person and lost my way in many ways, even my partner has noticed. Only 3 days ago did I decide to start doing some forms of exercise. It is a start. I want to get myself into a close bond with Satan and the high ranking gods. I do feel embarrassed with some of my actions and even things I've said about JoS elsewhere, such as wondering why Mageson could ever make it to HP if Satan as the JoS know him was really all knowing. Some things I've been reading such as the exposing the exposing JoS has come exactly at the right time and I'm thankful for that and can only apologize for things said in the past. I have no interest in politics really, but I do in spirituality and magick again; too much time of mine has been taken up with abstract concepts like politics that are of much lesser importance.
I find it very difficult to focus when meditating/doing void or trying to feel/visualize. This has been a huge setback. I really need help as well as helping myself. I really want to.
I have to admit, since dedicating in 2016, I have slowly lost my way, made little to no effort in meditations and have even made apologetics for Christianity/Christian nationalism on places such as /pol/.
I'm not that bad financially after selling my home.
Needless to say, I haven't been happy and have degenerated in many ways; I've become a boring person and lost my way in many ways, even my partner has noticed. Only 3 days ago did I decide to start doing some forms of exercise. It is a start. I want to get myself into a close bond with Satan and the high ranking gods. I do feel embarrassed with some of my actions and even things I've said about JoS elsewhere, such as wondering why Mageson could ever make it to HP if Satan as the JoS know him was really all knowing. Some things I've been reading such as the exposing the exposing JoS has come exactly at the right time and I'm thankful for that and can only apologize for things said in the past. I have no interest in politics really, but I do in spirituality and magick again; too much time of mine has been taken up with abstract concepts like politics that are of much lesser importance.
I find it very difficult to focus when meditating/doing void or trying to feel/visualize. This has been a huge setback. I really need help as well as helping myself. I really want to.