throwaway88
New member
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2021
- Messages
- 86
Disclaimer: I'm not writing this in order to claim any sort of power, rank, authority or whatever. I'm just looking for information. If you want to call bullshit that's up to you, I have no doubts that my experiences are real. I have never used drugs. I sometimes drink in heavy social situations (1-2 beers), alcohol is a separate topic to this.
Background: I was born with a damaged throat chakra. This is visible in my natal chart (my venus is completely unaspected with other planets) and in my general inability to understand certain things in social situations. I spent years working on my throat chakra, clairaudience/clairvoyance points without any effect (when it comes to my ability as a spirit medium). However, I have had many experiences with astral projections, and during projection I can mentally hear and communicate with the gods/other entities. I cannot however like some people project whenever I want to, it's usually a combination of good planets and my guardian taking me somewhere when needed.
In 2017 I had my preliminary kundalini ascension, clearing the pathway, opening the chakras fully through the blockages. In 2018 and 2019 I had the full ascension, including the physical effects - seemingly random nerve pain, inability to sleep, physical heat from the base all the way up my spine, elevated/lowered body temperature. The culmination was the energies manifesting the darkest part of myself, the part which was harboring all the depression, suicidal thoughts, basically the part that didn't want me to be alive at all. I basically went to sleep, woke up at 3am in a state of psychosis where that voice was telling me all the gods were dead, Satan lost, and that I had no reason to live any more since the enemy would destroy me very soon. No matter what I did at that point, calling for father, my guardian, doing the invocation of the crowns, nothing worked. It had completely convinced me that we lost and that it was all over for me. I forced myself to stay up until daylight when I calmed down, and the next day I had a projection where my guardian explained that due to overloading myself on energy with cobra breaths and kundalini yoga, that part managed to overtake a large amount of energy and attack me. She also told me to stop all meditation for a week. After a week I faced that part of me again and killed it completely, after which the kundalini symptoms intensified again until the full ascension. After the ascension the biggest change in me was that I was able to invoke my higher self at any point. In other words, I'm able to switch my mind from a regular human ego into the consciousness of my higher self at any point. My higher self is also the only entity that physically spoke through me, or in other words is able to control my words any my voice if I invoke it. Other manifestations of power I have are a much higher ability to feel the energy of others, including which chakras are blocked etc, how does the person feel, are we energetically compatible, is the person jewish etc. But the main thing is simply wisdom, I am able to comprehend any spiritual concept fully and explain it to others if needed. Even if I don't know about something, my higher self usually can explain it in a pretty elaborate way. Spiritual comprehension is different to reading about something in a textbook and thinking you understand it, it's a lot more in-depth.
In march 2020 I started feeling like I should read up again about the magnum opus. I was reading through a meditation Azazel gave me in 2017 and told me that it was going to be several years before I could actually use it properly. Here's a summary since I don't know if I'm allowed to share the whole thing:
1. You need to be aware that your source is infinite, and it will become so.
2. Fully empower all your chakras, you don't need to have their ABILITY unlocked. They just need to overflow with energy.
3. When they carry excess, take it all and combine it with your aura into the philosophers stone and place it into your heart chakra. This should be done both spiritually and physically(?) (this is the part that took several year to complete, post kundalini ascension only my crown and solar plexus were overflowing completely)
4. Layer it with energy until it is strong enough to be merged with the kundalini, they are opposite energies that polary interact.
I decided to start it on march 20th 2020, the first couple weeks I was just trying to add all the energy I could and pushed myself. After a month, I tried touching the stone with my astral hand and felt what seemed like a cold block of polished marble, I assumed this meant I'd successfully done both the physical and spiritual merge. I started to focus more on the layering energy part from there on. After about 4 months I joined one of the RTR schedules, before that I was worried that if I expended my energies too much the stone would be consumed in the process. After doing the FRTR I was pretty exhausted as usual, but then I felt the stone starting to warm me up and replenish my energies. I was surprised at how easily it worked since it was the first time I expended energy towards something since starting the working, and didn't even have to will it to start working, it just did it on its own. I kept layering it, when I felt it was strong enough I merged it with the kundalini, and then with my heart chakra. When I stopped doing the heart chakra merging affirmation, the energy more or less felt like it dissapearead. I did my energy raising without directing it into a singular spot, and I felt more and more as if I had perhaps lost the stone. So one day I directed it back into my heart chakra and it fully manifested again, the same way as it was before basically.
This year, on march 20th 2021 I decided to start doing the pineal gland female elixir meditation and the sacral chakra male elixir meditation. A big problem of the second one was sex drive for me. Since I'm mostly socially isolated, the only time I would have a sex drive is intentional stimulation, working with my succubus or abstaining for too long. My succubus helped me a lot with raising the energy, but after a week or so I started experiencing extreme pain in my prostate, and decided to stop. I kept doing the pineal meditation though. Keep in mind I'm way too young to have actual prostate problems, it would have to be a 0.0001% case. I stopped doing it, and after 2 days the pain was gone completely. So naturally I did the meditation again, it was fine at first but after about a week it had gotten to the point where going to the bathroom was extremely painful for me both ways, and even after stopping the meditation for a week I still couldn't sit down without feeling pain. I did a 30x Thurisaz working for a while until it healed completely, and started the third round. This time however I didn't notice anything wrong.
Four days ago I randomly had a feeling as if I was being bitten by bugs, and after I laid down my pinneal gland exploded with pressure and transformed into a feeling of bliss travelling from my pinneal gland into my crown, and then down my spine into my heart chakra. This was about 10x stronger than what I had experienced in my kundalini ascension, and actually pretty different energetically. I was literally moaning from the pleasure. After that, my sacral chakra started emitting heat and traveled to my heart chakra as well, the energies combined and felt 5x more potent than my source usually is. That night I had sex with my succubus and I felt all the energies combine with the orgasm.
Now the reason for writing this post is that the past 3 days I experience the same symptoms usually about the time I lay down in bed, except I can no longer orgasm. These three days it has been very hard for me to maintain arousal at all, even with my succubus. When I did orgasm, I don't feel pleasure, i feel the energy go straight into pressure that's located around my pinneal gland. So basically when I get aroused, the energy starts moving somewhere and draining away instantly, if I am not 100% focused I cannot maintain arousal/erection. In order for me to orgasm, I have to go into the mental fetish territory, the stuff that makes you really horny, but even then the orgasm just goes off without pleasure and gets drained somewhere around my pinneal. The male elixir meditation is also much harder to do, it takes me 3-4x more effort to achieve the same result.
As I'm writing this now post my meditation session, both my pinneal, heart chakra and sacral chakra are burning with their own energy. If any other members have gone through this or something similar and can offer me advice on how to proceed further I would really appreciate it.
Background: I was born with a damaged throat chakra. This is visible in my natal chart (my venus is completely unaspected with other planets) and in my general inability to understand certain things in social situations. I spent years working on my throat chakra, clairaudience/clairvoyance points without any effect (when it comes to my ability as a spirit medium). However, I have had many experiences with astral projections, and during projection I can mentally hear and communicate with the gods/other entities. I cannot however like some people project whenever I want to, it's usually a combination of good planets and my guardian taking me somewhere when needed.
In 2017 I had my preliminary kundalini ascension, clearing the pathway, opening the chakras fully through the blockages. In 2018 and 2019 I had the full ascension, including the physical effects - seemingly random nerve pain, inability to sleep, physical heat from the base all the way up my spine, elevated/lowered body temperature. The culmination was the energies manifesting the darkest part of myself, the part which was harboring all the depression, suicidal thoughts, basically the part that didn't want me to be alive at all. I basically went to sleep, woke up at 3am in a state of psychosis where that voice was telling me all the gods were dead, Satan lost, and that I had no reason to live any more since the enemy would destroy me very soon. No matter what I did at that point, calling for father, my guardian, doing the invocation of the crowns, nothing worked. It had completely convinced me that we lost and that it was all over for me. I forced myself to stay up until daylight when I calmed down, and the next day I had a projection where my guardian explained that due to overloading myself on energy with cobra breaths and kundalini yoga, that part managed to overtake a large amount of energy and attack me. She also told me to stop all meditation for a week. After a week I faced that part of me again and killed it completely, after which the kundalini symptoms intensified again until the full ascension. After the ascension the biggest change in me was that I was able to invoke my higher self at any point. In other words, I'm able to switch my mind from a regular human ego into the consciousness of my higher self at any point. My higher self is also the only entity that physically spoke through me, or in other words is able to control my words any my voice if I invoke it. Other manifestations of power I have are a much higher ability to feel the energy of others, including which chakras are blocked etc, how does the person feel, are we energetically compatible, is the person jewish etc. But the main thing is simply wisdom, I am able to comprehend any spiritual concept fully and explain it to others if needed. Even if I don't know about something, my higher self usually can explain it in a pretty elaborate way. Spiritual comprehension is different to reading about something in a textbook and thinking you understand it, it's a lot more in-depth.
In march 2020 I started feeling like I should read up again about the magnum opus. I was reading through a meditation Azazel gave me in 2017 and told me that it was going to be several years before I could actually use it properly. Here's a summary since I don't know if I'm allowed to share the whole thing:
1. You need to be aware that your source is infinite, and it will become so.
2. Fully empower all your chakras, you don't need to have their ABILITY unlocked. They just need to overflow with energy.
3. When they carry excess, take it all and combine it with your aura into the philosophers stone and place it into your heart chakra. This should be done both spiritually and physically(?) (this is the part that took several year to complete, post kundalini ascension only my crown and solar plexus were overflowing completely)
4. Layer it with energy until it is strong enough to be merged with the kundalini, they are opposite energies that polary interact.
I decided to start it on march 20th 2020, the first couple weeks I was just trying to add all the energy I could and pushed myself. After a month, I tried touching the stone with my astral hand and felt what seemed like a cold block of polished marble, I assumed this meant I'd successfully done both the physical and spiritual merge. I started to focus more on the layering energy part from there on. After about 4 months I joined one of the RTR schedules, before that I was worried that if I expended my energies too much the stone would be consumed in the process. After doing the FRTR I was pretty exhausted as usual, but then I felt the stone starting to warm me up and replenish my energies. I was surprised at how easily it worked since it was the first time I expended energy towards something since starting the working, and didn't even have to will it to start working, it just did it on its own. I kept layering it, when I felt it was strong enough I merged it with the kundalini, and then with my heart chakra. When I stopped doing the heart chakra merging affirmation, the energy more or less felt like it dissapearead. I did my energy raising without directing it into a singular spot, and I felt more and more as if I had perhaps lost the stone. So one day I directed it back into my heart chakra and it fully manifested again, the same way as it was before basically.
This year, on march 20th 2021 I decided to start doing the pineal gland female elixir meditation and the sacral chakra male elixir meditation. A big problem of the second one was sex drive for me. Since I'm mostly socially isolated, the only time I would have a sex drive is intentional stimulation, working with my succubus or abstaining for too long. My succubus helped me a lot with raising the energy, but after a week or so I started experiencing extreme pain in my prostate, and decided to stop. I kept doing the pineal meditation though. Keep in mind I'm way too young to have actual prostate problems, it would have to be a 0.0001% case. I stopped doing it, and after 2 days the pain was gone completely. So naturally I did the meditation again, it was fine at first but after about a week it had gotten to the point where going to the bathroom was extremely painful for me both ways, and even after stopping the meditation for a week I still couldn't sit down without feeling pain. I did a 30x Thurisaz working for a while until it healed completely, and started the third round. This time however I didn't notice anything wrong.
Four days ago I randomly had a feeling as if I was being bitten by bugs, and after I laid down my pinneal gland exploded with pressure and transformed into a feeling of bliss travelling from my pinneal gland into my crown, and then down my spine into my heart chakra. This was about 10x stronger than what I had experienced in my kundalini ascension, and actually pretty different energetically. I was literally moaning from the pleasure. After that, my sacral chakra started emitting heat and traveled to my heart chakra as well, the energies combined and felt 5x more potent than my source usually is. That night I had sex with my succubus and I felt all the energies combine with the orgasm.
Now the reason for writing this post is that the past 3 days I experience the same symptoms usually about the time I lay down in bed, except I can no longer orgasm. These three days it has been very hard for me to maintain arousal at all, even with my succubus. When I did orgasm, I don't feel pleasure, i feel the energy go straight into pressure that's located around my pinneal gland. So basically when I get aroused, the energy starts moving somewhere and draining away instantly, if I am not 100% focused I cannot maintain arousal/erection. In order for me to orgasm, I have to go into the mental fetish territory, the stuff that makes you really horny, but even then the orgasm just goes off without pleasure and gets drained somewhere around my pinneal. The male elixir meditation is also much harder to do, it takes me 3-4x more effort to achieve the same result.
As I'm writing this now post my meditation session, both my pinneal, heart chakra and sacral chakra are burning with their own energy. If any other members have gone through this or something similar and can offer me advice on how to proceed further I would really appreciate it.
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