Question #5415: Excitement

[AskSatanOperator]

The times when I believed in fairies, my childhood, I long for those times so much... I want to forget reality for a day and live that fairy tale again. I want to listen to Viking music and watch pirate movies again with the most sincere excitement. I want to read the fantastic books I read with the same excitement, with the same childlike spirit and dream again.

I want to wake up at night to watch cartoons again, not to be restless when I wake up at night. I want my doll back, I was in too much of a hurry to grow up, I'm not ready for the realities of life, I'm just now realizing that.

I was introduced to Spiritual Satanism at a very early age, I spent my childhood with our beautiful faith and our Father. I never regret it and I'm proud of myself. But as you can understand I was young and I took great responsibility for myself. At a young age I had a dream to save the world. From then on I worked hard for our future. I guided people to find the right path, and after a while it became mundane.

When I first found this place, everything was so new and there wasn't so much information, yet I spent days researching. Months passed, years passed and there was nothing left to research. Now I'm starting to miss the past, I have no idea what I should do, I don't even have the slightest excitement in me.

I love our gods and our religion, I think they're the only thing I love, but I don't feel excited anymore. Lord Asmodeus is very dear to me, I have a special love for him, but his Ritual did not excite me enough. I'm afraid of upsetting the gods, and I'm becoming more and more distant, even if I don't want to admit it to myself. Sometimes I don't read the high priest's sermons, it's a very terrible thing for me. Because I love him very much and I like to think about what he says.

I want the light in my eyes and my innocence back...

What do you think I should do..?

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

The times when I believed in fairies, my childhood, I long for those times so much... I want to forget reality for a day and live that fairy tale again. I want to listen to Viking music and watch pirate movies again with the most sincere excitement. I want to read the fantastic books I read with the same excitement, with the same childlike spirit and dream again.

I want to wake up at night to watch cartoons again, not to be restless when I wake up at night. I want my doll back, I was in too much of a hurry to grow up, I'm not ready for the realities of life, I'm just now realizing that.

I was introduced to Spiritual Satanism at a very early age, I spent my childhood with our beautiful faith and our Father. I never regret it and I'm proud of myself. But as you can understand I was young and I took great responsibility for myself. At a young age I had a dream to save the world. From then on I worked hard for our future. I guided people to find the right path, and after a while it became mundane.

When I first found this place, everything was so new and there wasn't so much information, yet I spent days researching. Months passed, years passed and there was nothing left to research. Now I'm starting to miss the past, I have no idea what I should do, I don't even have the slightest excitement in me.

I love our gods and our religion, I think they're the only thing I love, but I don't feel excited anymore. Lord Asmodeus is very dear to me, I have a special love for him, but his Ritual did not excite me enough. I'm afraid of upsetting the gods, and I'm becoming more and more distant, even if I don't want to admit it to myself. Sometimes I don't read the high priest's sermons, it's a very terrible thing for me. Because I love him very much and I like to think about what he says.

I want the light in my eyes and my innocence back...

What do you think I should do..?

Some of this can be simple nostalgia of your past. Also, there is a misunderstanding that we have discovered everything. In reality, we are at the tiniest beginning of life, whereas the Gods experience the full unfolding of life. In other words, we have read the first line of text in the "Book of Life", yet they have passed through a whole trilogy of experience. All of this awaits us.

On an energetic level, remember that these feelings of discovery and childlike behavior pertain to Jupiter and Neptune, respectively. Therefore, Fehu can be used to recreate an optimism for expansion in any area, like new beginnings. Kenaz creates a desire to study and explore. Laguz can create or enhance dreaming. Look at the state of your natal Jupiter to see how this may currently manifest.

The other fire energies, like the Sun and Mars, create a drive for life in their own ways, too. Solar energies make one see/feel the value and fulfillment in the activities of life. So, there are many options here, with Fehu being the closest to child-like excitement.

 

[WoadWarrior]

I will say your story sounds similar to mine in terms of starting very early and fully embracing Satanism as your true path, but what your describing is believe it or not a good thing, you say your bored that is actually good its your mind maybe even the Gods themselves telling you to take the next steps, I myself am exploring the theology of our Gods beyond the JoS by learning more about the Vedic texts and trying (poorly) to learn Sanskrit, now I am not telling you to start uncritically consuming a bunch of new age bullshit or start trying spells you find online, but I promise you there is mountains of information about our Gods out there simply written in different languages begging to be read and decoded with a Satanic viewpoint.

As for childhood nostalgia, thats normal people often feel the way you do its not an issue just dont obsess on the past too much the future is much more interesting.

 

[Voice of Enki [JG]]

I'm slowly closing in on 10 years of Spiritual Satanism in my current life, and every day I am making mind boggling and almost unfathomable discoveries and reaching new understandings that 2 years ago I couldn't even imagine in my wildest dreams.

It's all about perspective and what you open your mind to. To me, it sounds like your mind is still stuck on an earlier stage in life, which you have already fully explored and thus are bored by, yet you have not yet moved on from this, thinking this is all there is to things and you have seen all there is to offer. There is so much you cannot even imagine that is waiting to be experienced and discovered by yourself, even endless advancement and knowledge to see and explore, some of which is truly so incredible even a single glimpse can keep your mind engaged for years because it takes that long to unravel the mysteries in what you have seen.

You need to seek out the excitement and the next chapters, by continuing to keep moving forward, rather than stay on page 1 of the book and thinking that it is the end, without even knowing you can flip the page.

Please open your mind to the knowledge there are many more pages you have yet to even imagine in your wildest imaginations and your most mysterious dreams. You will rediscover the excitement that has temporarily halted, when you look beyond the nostalgia in which you remain, and open the book for real.

 

[Ĥl·lĥæ]

This is normal, just keep meditating.