Question #5071: Need answers please

[AskSatanOperator]

Hi I was part of a cult that has left me traumatized, without giving the name the cult it was based on cosmicism/nihilism , they were very dogmatic and their beliefs are basically that we are Maggots grasping for significance and the gods are bound to return and when they do it will be akin to one retuning from vacation and finding critters around the house and if we are lucky they will spare some of us if we worship them enough and spread their words through our works,
I left the cult because I couldn't take it anymore I started living in fear of the old gods as they call them I had panic attacks just to leave my room and go to the bathroom I was sweating had to turn on all the lights trembling my way to trough the hallway, I just want answeres and relief from my torment, in one hand I find your beliefs very comforting and hopeful a glimpse of light, on the other hand I fear that can be just another illusion a joke by the old gods on makind as a punishment for our arrogance to drive the unworthy into madness, sorry for the long post I just need help

 

[COfA]

Hi I was part of a cult that has left me traumatized, without giving the name the cult it was based on cosmicism/nihilism , they were very dogmatic and their beliefs are basically that we are Maggots grasping for significance and the gods are bound to return and when they do it will be akin to one retuning from vacation and finding critters around the house and if we are lucky they will spare some of us if we worship them enough and spread their words through our works,
I left the cult because I couldn't take it anymore I started living in fear of the old gods as they call them I had panic attacks just to leave my room and go to the bathroom I was sweating had to turn on all the lights trembling my way to trough the hallway, I just want answeres and relief from my torment, in one hand I find your beliefs very comforting and hopeful a glimpse of light, on the other hand I fear that can be just another illusion a joke by the old gods on makind as a punishment for our arrogance to drive the unworthy into madness, sorry for the long post I just need help

That's pretty brutal dude. You very well may have had a negative entity attached to you as well. However, the gods that we follow here are much more powerful than any entity that would put you in contact. You will be very happy to know that Satan and the gods are very loving. I would suggest doing a modified version of the working to deprogram from the enemy from "list of magical workings" by academic scholar to suit this specific cult, along with the warfare oriented AoP by Blitzkrieg to protect yourself from any nasty entities you may have been connected with. I would also highly suggest a working to ground yourself to reality using Nauthiz, as it seems you may be somewhat paranoid and delusional. This was suggested by Blitzkrieg (I think, this is from memory) in a thread about schizophrenia. From my own personal experience, I have found focusing on cleanliness, balance, and harmony, also bring you back to sanity.

 

[tiajra13]

An option for the panic attacks, (flashbacks?) look into EMDR therapy. (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.) It helped me get over PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from a similar, but physically abusive, cult situation. And it was resolved in just 5 months of therapy for me.........please note-at the same time I went thru EMDR Therapy, I found Spiritual Satanism and was meditating and reading the Joy of Satan website and Satans Library voraciously. Between finding the right andTrue Path, and the therapy to release my tortuous past, it all came together in a short amount of time. I’m not in the medical field, so research it for yourself. Only you can determine if this is something you’re interested in. I’m only saying all of it worked together for me.

 

[HPS Lydia]

Welcome to the JoS

You were right to leave the cult. We are not a cult here, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You can read our website, have a look around, post any questions you may have, and take it all one step at a time.

Reading the joyofsatan.org and related posts in these forums will help your mind. Focus on healing yourself, start to enjoy life again, and find what is best for you

 

[AristocraticDragon666]

Hi I was part of a cult that has left me traumatized, without giving the name the cult it was based on cosmicism/nihilism , they were very dogmatic and their beliefs are basically that we are Maggots grasping for significance and the gods are bound to return and when they do it will be akin to one retuning from vacation and finding critters around the house and if we are lucky they will spare some of us if we worship them enough and spread their words through our works,
I left the cult because I couldn't take it anymore I started living in fear of the old gods as they call them I had panic attacks just to leave my room and go to the bathroom I was sweating had to turn on all the lights trembling my way to trough the hallway, I just want answeres and relief from my torment, in one hand I find your beliefs very comforting and hopeful a glimpse of light, on the other hand I fear that can be just another illusion a joke by the old gods on makind as a punishment for our arrogance to drive the unworthy into madness, sorry for the long post I just need help

Welcome to the JoS

I recommend reading this link:

https://www.satanisgod.org/NEWPEOPLE.html

Dedication To Satan - The Initiation Ritual