Question #3896: I am such an embarrassment!

[AskSatanOperator]

Why do I even exist? And why do I even bother! All I do is make a complete idiot of myself! And it's because of my fucking grammar! I would literally pay anybody?! Just spend a couple of hours with me and help me with my grammar

 

[AskSatanOperator]

I have never been so ashamed of myself! I feel like I disgusting piece of shit

I never thought that I would live to see the day where I would make a big ass of myself in front of a whole community of people! All because of my fucking grammar! At least I know how to spell! And I'm not afraid to look things up out of the dictionary! And I can fucking cook! And I can clean house and I can grow vegetables and flowers! And I can grill a steak on the barbecue! Everything else is fine! And the things that I can't do I learn! And the things that I can do is a breeze! Harder things and harder problems were fun for me to attack and Conquer is a little kid! I don't mind trying out new things! And I'm not afraid of trying something new and different! But the one thing that stands out more than anything! And I'm surprised people don't get paid for writing? Whatever happened to beautiful handwriting these days? I've noticed that since people started using cell phones and texting! Handwriting and grammar has went south! And that's exactly what happened to me! It's not like I suck it everything laugh out loud but when it comes to my handwriting! It gives people the impression that I am so damn stupid! That I shouldn't even fucking live or breathe! Why in the hell did the gods blow their breath into me? I'm a no good piece of shit nobody no good for fucking nothing! If I can't do something about my grammar? Then strike me with lightning! Even the Jews would sit and laugh and make fun of me and the last thing I need is the enemy to give me shit just because of my fucking grammar! And why would I want to embarrass Satan and his gods and demons! With my ugly grammar too,?

 

[AskSatanOperator]

I am so embarrassed! I can fucking scream and pull every hair out of my fucking head! I never thought that I would be such an embarrassment on here! And I admit I suck it everything! My handwriting sucks! I get everything all out at once! Instead of one thing at a time! It's like my head is just loaded with ideas! Too many questions looking for too many answers! And at the same time trying to impress people! And making a bigger ass of myself! I don't even know what to do or say?! Other than just go and fucking blow my head off somewhere! I am sitting here laughing my fucking head off! Embarrassed and ashamed of myself! I feel like I just want to go buy myself a sawed-off shotgun and blow my fucking head off! And here I am on this website of all places! Making the biggest ass of myself! Maybe I would have fit on here perfectly back as a fucking teenager! When my handwriting was impeccable and easy to read and when I had penmanship! And back in the days when I had discipline! I took dance and I took gymnastics and I was a good speller! I was a good writer laugh out loud I used to write poetry and everything! And then I graduate high school and then my job become my job! Other than that I would go home cook and clean! And then get on social media! And since then my handwriting went out the window and everything went south! And now I am a fat ugly disgusting pig! And I'm a fucking slob! My handwriting sucks! And here I'm on here trying to impress people with what? Yeah I've always been curious about Satan and I've always been curious about satanism! And I always wanted to know the truth about Satan and here I am in the right place getting the truth! Only everybody on here is better than me and smarter than me and can do everything better than me! And I fucking suck! Suck suck suck! What can I do? Without fucking making a bigger ass of myself? I honestly feel like committing suicide! It's one thing being a recovering drug addict! Laugh out loud a lot of crackheads and meth heads could write better than I could! Even prostitutes walking the street had better handwriting than me! Most doctors have better handwriting than I do! And here I am 52 years old! That is a definite Far Cry for help! Even my mom who is an elderly lady! In her fucking 70s writes better than me! Even my nephew who is fucking retarded could write better than me! And I remember back in the days my handwriting was beautiful and I had a lot of compliments on it! Why in the hell can I fucking ride just as well and just as nice! Without making an ass of myself! In the middle of the joy of Satan website and in the middle of the ancient forms! With all of these intellectuals and gods and goddesses Satan and his gods and demons? Please help me! I will give you everything and anything you want! I am sick and tired of the embarrassment and I'm sick and tired of being ashamed! It's no wonder everybody on here thinks I'm a fucking asshole! And then on top of that I act like one question mark instead of telling people that I have poor penmanship? Which everybody can see loud and clear with all my big ass fucking editorials

 

[AskSatanOperator]

I really really really need! To go back to school! And brush up on all and everything I have learned! And I mean everything that I have learned from a to z! From my childhood on up! MY GRAMMER SUCKS!!!!
And I feel like a complete idiot! Laugh out loud I'm giving these people the impression that I am some fucking baby! Here I'm 52 years old laugh out loud! And yes I admit that I need to go back to school!

 

[AskSatanOperator]

My grammar!!!!!

It sucks!!!

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

So get some paper and pens and start practicing writing. And it will get better. It's bad because you haven't been using it, but you will get better again when you do it.

 

[Egon]

Sun Squares will increase your self appreciation exponentially, and you should also clean your soul a lot from what it seems.

Mercury Squares will help with your education and grammar.

When doing a Mercury Square/magical working for increasing your intellect, you can definitely couple it with doing the Thoth's Power Ritual as well:

Thoth's Power Ritual: NOW LIVE!!! [Jan 28th to Feb 5th 2024]

Greetings to all of our Satanic Family. I am very proud to announce to all of you the Ritual of our God Thoth. That Ritual will be of paramount importance going into the future, as Thoth's importance is one of the highest in our Pantheon. All the Gods themselves, highly revere and respect Lord...

ancient-forums.com

Sun Square thread:

Sun Square Thread! + additional information

With the Sun now in Leo, I believe it is very important for the majority of SS to make use of this. I would like to list helpful information related to this, as well as example workings. Basic Description of our Natal Sun: Described in one sentence: The Sun is one's ego, the personality...

www.ancient-forums.com

About Magical Workings and Affirmations:

Specificity with Workings and Affirmations

" post_id=409080 time=1671932271 user_id=21286] Otherwise, it would still make sense to clear out karma attached to one's Sun, Venus, and Jupiter which could hinder their overall ability to attract wealth. blitzkrieg, the most effective is usually to start by removing the affairs of the house...

www.ancient-forums.com

Using words of power: https://satanisgod.org/Words-of-Power.html

Deep Cleaning:

Deep Cleaning

I’m outlining a process I went through some years ago, after the F-RTR first came out. Now that the Moon is in the 3rd/4th day of Waning, it is a great time to begin this. Step 1: Do the F-RTR (now that we have the Shattering and Tetra, you can do those as well). Step 2: Vibrate Vi-Suddhi 7x...

www.ancient-forums.com

 

[Epiphany]

Dragonheart, nobody here thinks you're an asshole and nobody is spending even a fraction of the amount of time and energy that you are spending on obsessing and agonizing over these things.

There's no need to impress anybody and no need to be embarrassed. You're accepted as you are and you can only grow at your own pace. Just take deep breaths and be yourself and take small steps to change the things that you want to change. Hating yourself will not help anybody, you have to try to be more kind to yourself.

Most importantly, you must meditate and/or do yoga at least, to ground yourself. Clean your soul, it makes a huge difference, and try to start an exercise routine. Just do a little bit to build a habit each day.

If you feel bad about your writing, there are adult education classes you can take that will help you improve it. They are easy going and a wide variety of people take them. I took one once when I was younger but didn't finish it because I felt embarassed about my writing and didn't feel that it was worth sharing, even just to turn in for grades. It wasn't until later, with more experience, that I gained the confidence to just do the best I can and be okay with putting it out there.

Some problems can seem like one thing on the surface but are really driven by something else, something deeper inside. Insecurity can do a number on self expression. Some people overload and say way too much. Others shut down. Sometimes it's both. Something to think about.

 

[Dragonheart666]

Whatever helps! I am going to do it. Thank you!

 

[Dragonheart666]

Thank you!!

 

[AskSatanOperator]

I suck it all in everything! It doesn't matter if it's something I've done before? Something new? It doesn't matter what it is? And what it consist of! I suck! I'm fat I'm old I'm ugly! And it mild age? It's embarrassing enough as it is! I am not young and agile like a used to be back in my younger years! And it is my bad that I should have done something about it! But when you graduate your job is your job! And the moment I walked out those doors with my graduation certificate all I did was just go home and take off my cap and gown! Put my Levi's on and went straight to work! Working two jobs ever since I was fucking 18 years old! And taking care of my grandmother! And now I am taking care of my mom! Who is in her 70s! I'm lucky that I've got a life to live! A chance to do anything at all! I am lucky that I've got a job! I am lucky that I have a fucking life to live! And lucky to do anything at all! Whether I suck at it or not! I am lousy when it comes to video games! I am clumsy it's sports! I am somebody who has to write down my password and my email address! On a post it! And practically have to stick it on my damn forehead! And it doesn't matter if it's a PIN number or a zip code or whatever! I have to have things written down! And like my grandpa said if I had the brains of a canary I would fly backwards! And I am somebody who has a lot of shit on my mind 24/7! And when I write things down laugh out loud everything comes out all at once! Instead of taking my time with one thing like normally people are fucking supposed to? It's like my mind is just loaded with shit of all kinds and everything just wants to come splitting out all at once! And my hand it just ends up just writing down every word that pops into my head everything that just wants to come out of me! And it makes me look like a pathetic ass! And then I get frustrated and then I get angry! My therapist told me that it was best to get a fucking pencil and a notepad already and just jot everything down as much as I can! So the way I write on here is how my psychiatrist told me to write! Just get it all out on paper and it doesn't matter what it looks like and whether it makes sense or not! He says that it was just my way of getting my frustrations out and getting my head together! He didn't care whether it was a proper grammar or not! After being on drugs this was my way of getting my head together and getting out all of my problems and my shit on paper! And yes I suck! My handwriting and my grammar sucks! And that's not the only thing I suck at! I don't like attention! I don't like drawing attention especially unwanted attention! And I'm not somebody who likes the attention! Laugh out loud that's what Jews and Christians are into! Is drawing I wanted attention or getting attention of any kind! Just because they're Jews and Christians and because they're angry with the world! I am somebody who is not angry with the world laugh out loud! I am somebody who has had my feelings hurt! And put down in this world dealing with stupid people all over! My childhood was so much more pleasant compared to my adult years! Things were easier to learn and easier to follow when you're young! And I was a bit of a perfectionist back in my days! Kept my bedroom clean folded my sheets and my towels cleaned up my own bathroom! And did my own laundry! And sat down to do my own homework! And I was one of those kids who had a locked the door and let myself in after school because both of my parents were working and they were busy! Nobody even really took the time to play with me or interact with me as a little kid as it is! I had to learn to figure out shit on my own! And I was somebody that didn't have a lot of friends! Most the time I was alone! And I learned to like it! And I didn't care! Whether I was perfect or not! I did take the time to correct my spelling errors when it come to my grammar back in the days I wanted to do things right! Because I wanted the grades and I wanted my parents to be proud of me! And now that I've gotten old has gotten to the point where I don't give a shit! People are so fussy about everything and anything! And I'm tired of trying to please people! I do the best I can and it doesn't matter what it is! And if I suck at it I suck at it! There is always room for improvement!? And even when it comes to that I suck! And yes you can definitely say I have a low self-esteem! Because of this! And I am ashamed of myself and I am highly embarrassed! My confidence level is low! Because of the crap I had to put up with being on the drugs and being on the streets! Dealing with an abusive boyfriend who was always putting me down 24/7 and could never say anything nice to me at all! Without making me cry first! I used to be really confident and I used to have a real high self-esteem knowing that I could do anything and go anywhere! Laugh out loud and then I wind up going with the loser boyfriend to drag me into his world of bullshit and his games! Being the narcissist that he is! And the type of psychopath that he is! Always gaslighting me and blaming me for things blaming me for his problems! And putting me in the spotlight every time I did or said anything wrong! Instead of discussing it between the two of us laugh out loud he had to bring the whole world in by yelling at the top of his lungs and telling his friends about it! And it always come back to me! So my self-esteem and my confidence pretty much went out the window! No I am not a happy-go-lucky person! And I don't want people to take me the wrong way! I am not trying to make a big impression and I'm not asking for compliments and I'm not asking for something higher or something lower! I'm not asking to be put on a fucking pedestal! And I'm not asking for a fucking Blue Ribbon that I haven't earned! Or a trophy that I didn't win or deserve! I am a human being like everybody else on this planet and just like everybody else on this fucking planet I have my problems too! And I am not perfect like everybody else on here who has been to college and been to school and kept themselves up! I am not somebody who pays a million dollars to this cause or that cause! I am just barely trying to figure out this digital money system! Bitcoin and whatever else that people are using! Because I'm somebody who uses paper cash and money and I'm somebody who writes a check! I don't even own a debit card or a credit card! And when I get on here to talk about it! It becomes a fucking joke! Everything I do or say anymore is a fucking joke to people! Yes I get it I suck at everything! My grammar is rotten! And I am not a perfect person! And I'm not trying to be perfect! Especially in the world where damn if you do and damn if you don't! You get laughed out because you're dumb and stupid! And you get laughed at and put down because you're smart! And you get your face slapped just for trying to be the better person! In a world where people can't be themselves and love who they are in spite of their problems and their mistakes! Yes I'm pretty aware of my fucking disgusting handwriting! Everybody hates it! And I get it I wish that there was something that I could do about it! And I wish the hell that I was somebody else! Instead of a pathetic waste of time like myself

 

[AskSatanOperator]

Especially the way Jews put it! Making us all feel like we're a bunch of idiots! As if it isn't bad enough! Christians put it out there loud and clear! The we are a disgrace to the world! And that's because there are disgrace to themselves! Yes it's one thing to have our personal problems and our handicaps! And maybe I'm not as pretty as other girls! And maybe I don't have that supermodel Slim Trim figure about me anymore! I am at the age where my weight goes up and down! And it doesn't matter what I eat or breathe I still put on pounds! I tried to go out and exercise and do yoga as much as I can throughout the week! But when I have been given night shift hours where I have to work from 4:00 until 9:00 every fucking night! It doesn't make it any easier for me to enjoy myself and just sit down and breathe and relax let alone do a yoga! Because I'm usually upstairs cooking dinner and taking care of my folks! And by the time I get around to taking care of my own fat sorry ass! I'm either hanging out on here? Or I am on social media somewhere? Or I am in the bedroom having I discussion with my husband about things! Before I even get around to doing yoga or meditating or anything! And by the time I get through with any of that it's almost 3:00 in the morning! And it really throws me off! My days and my nights are all askew! Trying to figure out my hours and my time is not fun and it's not easy! And I have to admit! I am somebody that likes to sleep in! Unless there is a reason for me to get up early? Other than that! I am somebody who struggles with my time and my hours trying to squeeze in a program and work! And I will do whatever works! I am somebody that doesn't like to be bossed around and told what to do! Because I've dealt with bossy people all my life! And I've got PTSD from that! And yes I've got attention deficit disorder! And I was a behavioral student in school! And I was in resource classes on and off! I am somebody who literally had to work my ass off just to show my parents that I can do things! And I was somebody that would turn friends down just because I wanted the grades! I was always somebody that was trying to be better! And yet I was always somebody that got into trouble! For some reason or another! Back then it was my attitude and the way I carried myself! Doing the best I could at all and everything! And still dealing with the criticism everyday! And now that I'm older! That stuff doesn't mean anything much to me anymore! I am leaving life and doing the best I can as a human being and a grown ass adult and now it is my handwriting and my grammar that sucks! And that is the reason why I feel depressed about myself! And I don't mean to get on here and dump my shit all over the place! And I didn't mean to use this website as a form of Facebook or a dumping site! I don't mean to put myself out there to be a bitch or a whiner or a complainer! I'm just simply sick and tired! Of being criticized! I'm pretty aware of my problems! And I'm pretty aware of the fact that my grammar and my handwriting is a fucking mess! I wish that I could just go back to school and start all over again! I wish that I could just go back to school now and brush up on all and everything I've learned! And then take it from there! But until then I am here and I might as well just do the best I can! I'll do whatever I can to improve my handwriting and my grammar! And I want to apologize to people for being an asshole on here! I said some things to people on here that wasn't nice! I wasn't very cooperative! And I took things the wrong way! Use this website the wrong way instead of the right way! Took advantage of everybody and everything! Without even realizing it! I acted like I was a little kid in school figuring that I could have fun! You guys don't even know who I am and I don't even know who you are! But we read each other's content everyday! And we put up with each other the best we can! Yes I was very rude yes I was destructive and disturbing! And I didn't mean to be rude and disrespectful! Can you please forgive me? And I seriously need some help with my grammar! And I need to work on my self-esteem as well! And then maybe everything else will fall into place? Hopefully!

 

[AskSatanOperator]

I do have something positive to say:
Especially after all the ranting and complaining!

I would rather be here! Getting the advice that I want and need!
Anx the HELP! On my grammar!
My handwriting skills!
And brush up on my education here!
And get my advice from Satan and his Gods and demons. Then to go to some fucking XTIAN run or Jewish run community lol.. and get my head filled with more lies and more bullshit!! And end up getting into more trouble in the future taking that risk! Is not worth it!
Especially since I've been lied to all my life! About religion and god! And who is God and who isn't! And getting into the politics of religion.. when all I want is the truth! And I would rather come here to get my schooling and my education! As a Studint Spiritual Satanist. And remove all of The Unwanted garbage from out of my head! And replace it with education that makes sense!

And I would rather be in the company of real people! Who are smart! People that I can look up to! Even if I'm not favored right now at this moment! It's best to know that I can start off on the right track here!

I would much rather look up to the people that are on this website! And learn from them and work for myself what is right! And learn from those that are smarter than me and higher than me!
And to be a part of something! And know that I'm learning something and getting somewhere!❤

Being somewhere where I know I can feel comfortable and fit in! And maybe at the moment? I'm not favor here because of my actions and mighty eight you're on here!.. and not thinking about things? And not asking for us! Taking the risk and making myself look like a spammer! Instead of asking permission?
Jumping into things! Leaving a necessary things on friends that are not supposed to be there! Just because I have something to say or because I have an apology! And I know that a lot of you have done everything you could to help me here so far! And I don't want to lose it!
I don't want to lose my welcome here! Because I come here to learn and to receive and gain knowledge and intelligence! And to heal myself,
From drug addiction and other things! I am not going to sit here and explain my whole life and go into detail! Laugh out loud I don't want to leave another big thread! One of the big reasons why I'm getting into trouble all the time is because of this! And yes I do need some major help with my grammar! Ans Maybe I will have some confidence! And develop a self-esteem especially after being on the drugs and the shit that I've been threw in the past. And I had to learn to accept the fact that I made that stupid choice to begin with! I made some pretty dumb decisions in the past! And now it's time for me to turn around and get this plane flying straight and headed the right direction! And take responsibility of being pilot of this point! And getting my stuff up off the ground developing Wings to fly! Cleansing my mind body and soul! And becoming a better person! And Show everyone here that I'm not some dumb problem,
I don't want to be a burden and I don't want to be somebody's responsibility! I've always hated that about christians! Girls having that impression that they're supposed to be Dependable of other people! Well I am somebody that doesn't roll that way! In spite of my problems! I take the responsibility on myself! I don't care how hard or heavy the work is or how painful or miserable the task is! I would rather take the stride and do things on my own and be independent! And be as self-reliant as can be. When it comes down to it! I know that I'm good at a lot of things! And I'm not down here to beat myself over the head or put myself down!
And to take my time to show people on here! That I'm not a complainer and a whiner!

That if I have a problem! I own up to it and take care of it!
And at least I'm honest about that! And I'm going to be honest about many things!

And I know that I've been rude to everybody on here! Very disrespectful ful those that have been trying to help! And I feel bad especially with the things that I have done getting on threads and spamming and posting big posts all over the place I'm not taking my time to do the punctuation work and read through all my content before a post it! At least I'm on the right place! And at least I'm in the right crowd and in the right group here! And I would rather be here with you guys and face our battles and responsibilities as a team and a family and learn things! And be a part of this community! And take my time to do things right! And to help out with this community and donate and do whatever it takes! And I do know but I have got to work on my handwriting! Not only on here! But also with pen and paper! And I would rather be on here to learn and to get an education! Them to be stuck in some christian-owned fucking classroom and some Jew would fight Christian Judo own a fucking school! Dealing with fucking Christians and jews! I would rather be here with You and Satan. To get my education and help. And I'm not just looking up to you guys to help me! I'm also looking into myself as well! And thank you for getting me started in the 40-day challenge! That is going to help me bring up my self-esteem! And at least I will have some structure in my life and some discipline! And I want to thank you guys for that! That is a good start! And again I apologize to anybody who I've hurt were insulted!❤ I didn't mean to come in here acting like a wretched child! I apologize for being rude. And now I want to get started on the Education part. Especially my nasty grammar/ Handwriting... because I know that I'm a lot better than this! And I want people to know that I've Got Brains and Intelligence on here as well! In spite of my handwriting

 

[AskSatanOperator]

Satan is the truth
He is Higher education!
And he is my teach of life.
And I look up to the Gods and His Dwmons
I also look up to melf as well, to find the answers. I want and need as an adult.
This website has evening I need, to help me, with my schooling, education on a higher level. And I know it will help me brush up on EVERYTHING! I WAS taught in school back in younger years.

It has History class. Were I van get the truth on real facts about the Goda,
Important information on Europe, and our people.
Its Science! And social skills, and if I need any help or information? All I have to do is ask! Plus it will allow me time to look things up? If I need the proper answers to things!

Plus it'll help me on my path!
Help me with some questions! Help me look for answers? Because it's all here! Plus it's fun to sit and study and read the format!
And to get on to the old Joy of Satan website! And brush up on reading! And there is plenty to read!
Not to mention the fact behavior skills and social skills! Learning from other people on here.
What's more I'm not going to be bogged down with a bunch of religious bullshit! And told that I have to go to church when it's not necessary!
And with all the complaints I got with my grammar! It'll also give me a good excuse to practice my handwriting and bring up my skills in that!
Not to mention the fact learning how to meditate! And to understand the history and the background of meditation.
Plus the history and the science of yoga and kundalini!
So I'm getting mental exercise! Spiritual exercise! Mental help! And evaluation! Plus there's social activity on here! A lot of things that I am learning! At any age.
There's no exception to the rules!
I know that everybody plays the fool! And I know that everybody has their special moments
And I pretty much know the rules on here and the discipline I appreciate! And at any age it's not going to hurt to have a little structure in your life!
Structure helps out with all and everything! And I have nothing against discipline and taking advice from others!
Not to mention the fact I can study and do my homework anytime! And I can get on here and share my knowledge and talk about things that I'm learning!

Plus it's nice to get to know people on here and make friends! It's nice to feel wanted and appreciated! And to be accepted in a place for you feel comfortable. I am a pretty good speller! And I do have a couple of good dictionaries on my desk here at home!
And not to mention the fact learning about satan! Spiritual Satanism the true religion! And learning about Satan and what he expects of us.
I so wanted and appreciated here!

EVEN IF I DID SPAMM. AND BEAK A FEW RULES...I apologize! And I didn't mean to be rude to anybody or disrespectful!❤

And it's nice to know that I can look up to the clergy for help! And I'm not afraid to ask for help when it's wanted and needed! You have everything I need right here!
As far as a full College course is concerned! Or brushing up on everything that I learned in grade school junior high and high school! Only minus the stupid politics and the Christian bullshit! And instead of reading out of a dirty old textbook where you get the same old same old shit twisted with juice shit! I am getting the truth! And the answer is and the facts straight! So it makes me feel more comfortable being here!.

And I am sorry for making a big mess on here. And I'm sorry about the confusion and the misunderstandings! When it comes to my big ugly posts, anx my miscellaneous threads!.. and instead of being butt hurt and making an ass of myself! I'd rather come clean and take care of shit right now! And get serious and learn on here while I can! And make the most of it!

 

[Dragonheart666]

Thank you!!...well at least got it all out now...lol...And now perhaps? I can chill out.

 

[Dragonheart666]

Aaaaarrrgggg,!!!!!@#% And now I think?
I know what my problem is.
Let me PLEASE take care of it.
You have given me every reason to take a step back here. And think.
Pluse! you all have given plenty of advice. And things that i can do here.
Montas i can use to help me. Meditations and I can do a sun square. And just let me chill out now.. and work on my problems here now..
I said what I had to say. Now it out of the way.

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

Provided all this spamming is serious, that is highly possible, it seems you are facing internal unresolved problems related to childhood, teenage - early life in general.
You say you are 52 years old so, it often happens late in life the main "ego" is reduced in power for some reasons, and it lets come out the internal unresolved hang-ups. Most likely you have been bullied or addressed as non-worthy at school.
Let me guess, it may have been a jewish teacher ?
It seems to me your posts can be read and I understand what you write so, it does not seems to me your grammar is awful even if English is not my mother tongue. Letting repressed emotion come out may lead to this kind of outburst. As, internally, those emotions become thoughtforms that continuously repeat the same thing. If they reach your conscious mind, this happens.

HPs Maxine often said that meditation can bring out repressed emotions, etc. This s a step in evolving.
As I often say, when the inner personality is so crying for help, try to understand if you suffer any kind of childhood abuse. Often this is a cause for emotional umbalance and outburst in later years of life, together with self-blame and self-hate (you show this).
In case, have a look to previous thread and messages where I wrote some comments to try to cope with any kind af abuse you suffered, if any.

Calm down, grammar is not the base of life. Body, mind and soul are the base of existence, just ground your feet on them and calm down.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

Your therapist told you to get paper and write all of this on paper. Not post it all here so all of us have to sort through it.

 

[AFODO]

Read and STUDY each of these points and try to implement all of them every time you want to write something here.

15 Ways to Improve Your Writing Skills Dramatically

Learning a variety of tricks to improve writing skills isn’t as difficult as you may think. We’ve put together a list of steps…

www.grammarly.com

 

[Aquarius]

Can you buy yourself a jornal and write your complaints there? This forum isn't your diary. Nobody cares about your grammar, i actually think you write quite well, but it's the fact that you're treating this forums as your personal blog that makes people annoyed at you.

 

[Dragonheart666]

YES!!!!❤❤❤❤ by they way. There are like' two or three : more posts! On the way,. BUT THEY were sent a couple" of days ago " to ..THE TALK TO SATAN FORM. So just to let you know before hand. And THANK YOU! ❤❤❤❤ I am going to get busy! With my homework here.

 

[Dragonheart666]

And if you need to talk to me.
Just message me. ❤ Hail Satan!

 

[Dragonheart666]

And YES! It would be better to write" on paper. And keep my person rants. "To myself". Instead ! of blasting" my self ,.to" The talk to Satan form."
Because....it ends up on the site for all to see, INCLUDING" the enemy" Who is also getting a good laugh" at my rants! and huge posts....the
Pour grammar, and are properly copying it and looking to use it against me as a weapon of some kind.? Too. And that is creepy to think about.
And as a Spiritual Satanist! My personal problem/ Problems should be discussed with Satan in privacy. When I write to him in my personal, gernal and pray. And Meditate. That way. I would be safer. And so will everyone else on here. AND keep this website clean. And friendly.
And inviting to others who need help. And only go to Talk to Satan? When it is necessary. For conversation topics that are more important to the website. And yes I was abused as a child. By teachers and my Folks Who was overly corrective. So that I admit. I am still so trying to recover from all that. The PTSD is still very strong to this very day. And I do have attention deficit disorder as well. And OCD. I took medications for that and it never helped. And that smoked marijuana " instead when I got older.
And ended up. Getting" into other things too. Long story short.
Trying to find happiness. And trying to be the better person.
So I have come here to relern and get mental, emotional, and spiritual evaluation. I appreciate you people! And thank you for listening!