AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
I will start my story from afar so that people can understand me more clearly. All my conscious life, past and present, I feel only loneliness and emptiness inside me. Trouble with the staff at school, bullying. After college, first attempts at socialization, another failure. No matter how hard I try to find peace, it is always disturbed by a mind that won't shut up. Being spiritually on the middle level, my psychology still dwells in the lowest levels, along with worms and dirt. No matter how many times I try to find "the one and only girl," I can't get a damn thing. People just ignore me, with my sisters in Satan also nothing works out, money, respectively, and mobility in movement. Loneliness just ruins me, not allowing me to break the fucking restrictions, suppression. I can drown out these feelings with anything, but I can't shut them out completely. I struggle to do my meditative practices as well as rituals on a schedule. I don't know how much longer I can keep up this pace. My parents aren't doing well either, I lost contact with them a long time ago, there is no trust at all. Only my duties to Satan keep me alive physically, but spiritually I am rotting. No purification helps at all, it's just another pill for conditional schizophrenia. The higher I go, the more my problems come out. I'm just so fucking fucked up.