AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
My Mother died a few months ago, she died a dogs death, lost her hearing and eyesight and was beddridden for 4 months.
My wife was pregnant at the time and was living in another country(we are same race and nationality), so half of the time I was there and the other half of the time I was with my mother.
I was certain my mother was going to make it. The Doctors were telling us it was postcovid. But she did not make it.
I can't understand this. She was only 60, didnt take the Vax, was not religious. She loved mother Lilith(in a form of a Goddes from our Pantheon). She couldnt even see her grandchild be born.
I was thinking hard why she died, and I cant understand it. I am dedicated for years, was active in all the scheduels without a fault, daily Rtrs(there was a period i was doing 4-6 a day) In the last year less until my mother died when i just stoped. The only thing im doing is cleaning and aop. The only thing i can think of is that im jewish.
And if im not jewish why did she have to die? For me to learn something? All my advancment went to shit, i didnt learn anything I cant even feel the Gods anymore.
Was she not worth keeping alive? Does her life have any worth in the eyes of the Gods? Does mine?
I know the Gods are the Truth, and I could never go back to beeing a christian or something else. I just cant understand why did my mother have to die... there was so much for her to do and see. Thies greif is eating me away and i just dont know what to do.
In the grand scheme of things I understand that her life was not worth anything. But for me her life ment allot, she was the only real family i ever had. Why didnt she have the chance to be happy.
My wife was pregnant at the time and was living in another country(we are same race and nationality), so half of the time I was there and the other half of the time I was with my mother.
I was certain my mother was going to make it. The Doctors were telling us it was postcovid. But she did not make it.
I can't understand this. She was only 60, didnt take the Vax, was not religious. She loved mother Lilith(in a form of a Goddes from our Pantheon). She couldnt even see her grandchild be born.
I was thinking hard why she died, and I cant understand it. I am dedicated for years, was active in all the scheduels without a fault, daily Rtrs(there was a period i was doing 4-6 a day) In the last year less until my mother died when i just stoped. The only thing im doing is cleaning and aop. The only thing i can think of is that im jewish.
And if im not jewish why did she have to die? For me to learn something? All my advancment went to shit, i didnt learn anything I cant even feel the Gods anymore.
Was she not worth keeping alive? Does her life have any worth in the eyes of the Gods? Does mine?
I know the Gods are the Truth, and I could never go back to beeing a christian or something else. I just cant understand why did my mother have to die... there was so much for her to do and see. Thies greif is eating me away and i just dont know what to do.
In the grand scheme of things I understand that her life was not worth anything. But for me her life ment allot, she was the only real family i ever had. Why didnt she have the chance to be happy.