These phases are most probably because of your Natal chart and your transits. Some may get "better" or "luckier" natal chart and somes are don't.
Raping, sadly can be pretty common in some countries. You have to get over it, think of what you should have learned from it, and do not think about it. As you do a lot of cleaning, traumas, and such things will go down the drain and will
help you to not to be effected by them.
Black magic A.K.A. punishment or justice, is an intermediate or even advanced practice. That is because you should be able to do the 3 steps of witchcraft precisely, so you won't send the energy to someone else, or be effected by it accidentally.
Your soul should also be undoubtedly stronger than the target, because if not, than it can backsplash on you.
If it's not important for you to punish them ASAP, than you should just advance yourself, until you feel comfortable to do it (we are speaking about years here, but at least a year for a safer black magic)
Or you can do the destruction ritual if there is a big need to do justice.
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Destruction.html