Question #2108: I don't know how to explain this but it's eating me up

[AskSatanOperator]

I'm starting to think I'm more beautiful and have a little confidence but I still feel like I'm just "normal and average" so I go back to the feeling of ugliness. I'm thinking about having multiple plastic surgeries, completely changing my hair, and transforming myself into a completely different person than I am now. I still feel weird and weird in a way I can't explain there's a bump in my way

 

[Korpi]

Plastic surgeries are superficial. "You" will not change.
A deceptive beauty, not truly so. Change must come from within.
You are truly beautiful - NakedPluto

You can begin a Spiritual Venus Square on Friday 10th November.
Do not begin during a Void of Course Moon.
Download the SS Calendar.
ChronosXP and Setting up ChronosXP.
Alternatively, Planetary Hours

SVAHA (Spiritual) = Within (Internal)
NAMA (Material) = Outside (External)

AUM DRAAM DRIM DRAUM SAU SHUKRAYA SVAHA
AHH-UUU-MMM ٠ DD-RAH – AHMM ٠ DD-RR-EE-MM ٠ DD-RR-AHH-UUU-MM ٠ SAH-UUU ٠ SHH-UUU-KKK-RR-AH-YAH ٠ S-V-AH-HAH

If you do not feel comfortable doing a Square, you can use the Shortened Mantra for a 40-Day Working.
AUM SHUKRAYA SVAHA
AHH-UUU-MMM ٠ SHH-UUU-KKK-RR-AH-YAH ٠ S-V-AH-HAH

Listen to HPS Maxine's audio file to ensure correct pronunciation.
Satan's Magickal Squares CDs [Mp3 Zip File]

Workings related to Venus are successful with multiples of 5.

Numerology - "The Core Meanings Of Basic Numbers" 1-10

5. The five elements, union, connection, eros, shape and form, beauty, splendor, balance, harmony

Venus

Venus rules:
One's love life, indulgence, money, jewelry, ornaments, women's clothing, bed linens, polished substances, social activities, art, beauty, ornaments, luxury pleasure, sexual intercourse with affection, dancing, poetry, singing, acting, cosmetics, hairdressing, and cosmetology.

See the overlap?

Vibrate the mantra 40 (5x8) or 50 (5x10) times. Take your pick.
VoiceofEnki has stated, "the number 50 has healing/regenerative properties".

As for the affirmation, I have an idea.
[...]

"]I found my affirmation, completely randomly. It was "I am becoming more beautiful in every way". That's it, and it worked very well, with no bad side effects or anything, even though it didn't have "in positive ways" or anything like that.

I recommend adding ", in the best way for me." at the end. Affirm this 10x (5x2).

Keep in mind, 40-Days may not be enough. Continue the working until you are completely satisfied with the result.

[...]

40 and 50 day workings are great. 100 can be applied on a hundred day working circle. This is a powerful number to work with. The next number to look for is 180 days, which is something very powerful in regards to workings. Then, we have the full year working which is very strong to alleviate karmic negativity.

Workings like 365/360 days can change one's life.

An SS tool to keep track of your Runic Workings and Planetary Squares.
Lilith's Master Runes - Version 2.2
Lilith's Master Squares v1.3.1

See also,
Some Questions About Planetary Squares Answered - HP. Hoodedcobra666
Feeling Worse from Energy Workings? - Blitzkreig [JG]
Spotting an Afflicted or Debilitated Venus - Shadowcat
Love Spells and Venus Squares - Korpi

 

[MiniMe3388]

It is possible that your problem is not your appearance but your self-esteem.

Find the positive aspects in your appearance. You are sure to find something about yourself that is beautiful. It could be your figure, your eyes or your hair. Look at yourself in the mirror and start telling yourself that you are beautiful. You should reject comparing yourself to other people. Everyone is different and it's hurtful to yourself if you think someone is prettier than you. Maybe such a person would envy something about you that you don't like about yourself?
Ask your close friend what is nice about you and allow yourself to believe that person's words.

You can start doing magic work. The rune wunjo is good for boosting confidence and self-esteem.

Good luck!

 

[Epiphany]

I'm starting to think I'm more beautiful and have a little confidence but I still feel like I'm just "normal and average" so I go back to the feeling of ugliness. I'm thinking about having multiple plastic surgeries, completely changing my hair, and transforming myself into a completely different person than I am now. I still feel weird and weird in a way I can't explain there's a bump in my way

If you do those things, don't do them for the reasons that you are wanting to do them now. If these are done they should be done because the end product is what you want, and not because you feel inadequate.

You are still going to be you and altering your natural beauty and mutilating your body will not transform you and how you feel about yourself on the inside. Many people are not attracted by those who have had alot of "work" done on them and the risks compound the further you go into this. Depending on the type of partner you want to attract, they may even be repulsed by this.

Just telling you this so that you will carefully consider your decision. You have already made progress without surgeries and other things, so this shows that you still have the potential to heal and grow.

Beauty is not what trends on instagram. It's not a brand of clothing, it's not a type of phone, it's not your bust or waist size, nor whether your hair is straight or curly or black or blonde. Beauty is being who you are, completely, truly and authentically. It's being genuine, and caringly cultivating a better being and a better world.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

I'm starting to think I'm more beautiful and have a little confidence but I still feel like I'm just "normal and average" so I go back to the feeling of ugliness. I'm thinking about having multiple plastic surgeries, completely changing my hair, and transforming myself into a completely different person than I am now. I still feel weird and weird in a way I can't explain there's a bump in my way

This is a solar deficiency, as the problem is your self-confidence and not your external appearance. Please work on this, rather than on what you suggest, because I promise you will feel better.

Not to make you worry or anything, but people will also "see through" the surgeries and other attempts to fix yourself, as these are not healthy expressions.

 

[SapphireDragon]

One of the most important thing you can do for yourself is learn to love and accept yourself for who you are. A lot of self hate and disgust for one's self and body is purely mental and in the mind.

A lot of it is enemy curses, some of it may come from negative interactions from people in your life, or could be from deficiencies of planets in your chart that may need some work. Blitz and Korpi and the others already have given you some good advice in regards to all of this.

Changing your perspective to one that is more positive about yourself may not be easy at first but using positive affirmations about yourself daily can help you gain a better outlook on yourself. Telling yourself that you are beautiful and worthy, complimenting yourself and highlighting your best features. Wearing clothing that makes you look and feel good. Working out and eating well, just taking it easy and replacing negative thoughts with positivity, and implementing small changes like this will lead to good habits and a happier more positive life and feel of yourself.

If you were to go for plastic surgery with the negative mindset you have of yourself it would solve nothing, you may keep finding flaws in yourself and getting more and more surgery until you've completely ruined your body. Plastic surgery is not a solution but changing your mindset is!


Good luck and don't hesitate to reach out for more support if needed.

 

[LiliumS]

Completely distorting one's appearance is unhealthy, changing a single appearance can sometimes be resolving for someone, but if you don't work on your self-esteem, you wouldn't like yourself even after 40 surgeries.

Remember that there is beauty not visible to the eyes, and visible only to those who have the eye to see. Work on yourself, you have excellent advice written above, and don't let this dystopian world shape you to its liking.

 

[GoldenxChild1]

Plastic surgeries are superficial. "You" will not change.
A deceptive beauty, not truly so. Change must come from within.
You are truly beautiful - NakedPluto

You can begin a Spiritual Venus Square on Friday 10th November.
Do not begin during a Void of Course Moon.
Download the SS Calendar.
ChronosXP and Setting up ChronosXP.
Alternatively, Planetary Hours

SVAHA (Spiritual) = Within (Internal)
NAMA (Material) = Outside (External)

AUM DRAAM DRIM DRAUM SAU SHUKRAYA SVAHA
AHH-UUU-MMM ٠ DD-RAH – AHMM ٠ DD-RR-EE-MM ٠ DD-RR-AHH-UUU-MM ٠ SAH-UUU ٠ SHH-UUU-KKK-RR-AH-YAH ٠ S-V-AH-HAH

If you do not feel comfortable doing a Square, you can use the Shortened Mantra for a 40-Day Working.
AUM SHUKRAYA SVAHA
AHH-UUU-MMM ٠ SHH-UUU-KKK-RR-AH-YAH ٠ S-V-AH-HAH

Listen to HPS Maxine's audio file to ensure correct pronunciation.
Satan's Magickal Squares CDs [Mp3 Zip File]

Workings related to Venus are successful with multiples of 5.

Numerology - "The Core Meanings Of Basic Numbers" 1-10

5. The five elements, union, connection, eros, shape and form, beauty, splendor, balance, harmony

Venus

Venus rules:
One's love life, indulgence, money, jewelry, ornaments, women's clothing, bed linens, polished substances, social activities, art, beauty, ornaments, luxury pleasure, sexual intercourse with affection, dancing, poetry, singing, acting, cosmetics, hairdressing, and cosmetology.

See the overlap?

Vibrate the mantra 40 (5x8) or 50 (5x10) times. Take your pick.
VoiceofEnki has stated, "the number 50 has healing/regenerative properties".

As for the affirmation, I have an idea.
[...]

"]I found my affirmation, completely randomly. It was "I am becoming more beautiful in every way". That's it, and it worked very well, with no bad side effects or anything, even though it didn't have "in positive ways" or anything like that.

I recommend adding ", in the best way for me." at the end. Affirm this 10x (5x2).

Keep in mind, 40-Days may not be enough. Continue the working until you are completely satisfied with the result.

[...]

40 and 50 day workings are great. 100 can be applied on a hundred day working circle. This is a powerful number to work with. The next number to look for is 180 days, which is something very powerful in regards to workings. Then, we have the full year working which is very strong to alleviate karmic negativity.

Workings like 365/360 days can change one's life.

An SS tool to keep track of your Runic Workings and Planetary Squares.
Lilith's Master Runes - Version 2.2
Lilith's Master Squares v1.3.1

See also,
Some Questions About Planetary Squares Answered - HP. Hoodedcobra666
Feeling Worse from Energy Workings? - Blitzkreig [JG]
Spotting an Afflicted or Debilitated Venus - Shadowcat
Love Spells and Venus Squares - Korpi

Hey Korpi, why did you recommend a spiritual square for beauty instead of a material square?

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

You sound like you are improving, so I am happy for you. Sometimes large things take longer time to fix, but you are healing and improving so this is a good thing.

 

[Korpi]

Hey Korpi, why did you recommend a spiritual square for beauty instead of a material square?

I was wrong. A Material Square is the correct choice.

[...]

Lydia"]Material, if for beautiful skin, to make your face skin more clear and beautiful. If you have a skin disease, then it is health-related and spiritual would be the one to use. But acne is not a disease, so material.

I assumed I was correct, and neglected to validate my guesswork.

 

[GoldenxChild1]

Hey Korpi, why did you recommend a spiritual square for beauty instead of a material square?

I was wrong. A Material Square is the correct choice.

[...]

Lydia"]Material, if for beautiful skin, to make your face skin more clear and beautiful. If you have a skin disease, then it is health-related and spiritual would be the one to use. But acne is not a disease, so material.

I assumed I was correct, and neglected to validate my guesswork.

Okay, thanks!

However, I bet you could use a spiritual square for beauty of the mind and soul, and maybe even the appreciate of beauty in general.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

Hey Korpi, why did you recommend a spiritual square for beauty instead of a material square?

I was wrong. A Material Square is the correct choice.

[...]

Lydia"]Material, if for beautiful skin, to make your face skin more clear and beautiful. If you have a skin disease, then it is health-related and spiritual would be the one to use. But acne is not a disease, so material.

I assumed I was correct, and neglected to validate my guesswork.

I believe that the energies will work either way, too. It is not that a material or spiritual square would totally fail, but it would be less effective. According to Frawley, Nama promotes for stabilization, whereas Svaha promotes for stimulation, so there is a yin/yang difference here.

Personally, I have done a spiritual Venus square for general improvement and it gave both mental/relationship and physical changes. It also caused me to receive extra clothing from an external source.

 

[HPS Lydia]

I assumed I was correct, and neglected to validate my guesswork.

:lol:

I agree with JG Blitzkreig though, either one will likely have benefits. But from personal experience, the material square cleared acne for me. And it's been about 11 years since I've done it and my skin has been great every since.

" post_id=470018 time=1698729072 user_id=21286]
[...] It also caused me to receive extra clothing from an external source.

This happens to me too, nearly every time I do the Venus square. Either someone will give me clothes, or a gift certificate to a clothing store. Even if it's a spiritual square just to improve my natal chart.