Normal understandable things to ponder on, but they all have their answers:
1. There could be karma, Natal Chart alignments, or possibly just how the Jewish Matrix affected your life. For a lot us, we had to go through some tough situations before learning about Satanism and finding the JOS. And sometimes for others, we find ourselves in tough situations AFTER finding the JOS. In both, we merely have to overcome. Don't dwell too much on your past unless it is to learn from. It's not healthy to ONLY feel bad about yourself, we need to accept what's happened and move on.
2. We can't escape from all bad things that can come to us, neither are we supposed to. Certain "bad things" are healthy for us and can truly make us stronger by testing our capabilities. Be accepting of this, and don't be afraid.
3. There are certain things that in a sense, "can't be gained back," but opportunities is not one of those things. Opportunities for success, happiness and completion of your endeavors are always going to be there as long you remain true to Satan, and continue meditating, working and improving yourself. So again, accept what you've lost but also what you can gain anew.
4. Yeah, some serious time meditating and communicating with your Guardian Demon will reveal to you how to rock the world.