AFODO said:
Gear88 is also an expert when it comes to politics, national socialism, ect. You can also send them private emails if you want.
Actually no never quote me nor use my information to it. I don't know what National Socialism is nor politics nor nothing. In reality I know nothing.
I just add it to my mind contemplate it a bit if it fits my parameters or positive I add it in. Perhaps having such a toxic mind and being such a toxic person I just add stuff. For example 2A Gun/Militia system seems NSy especially towards the whole "elimination of an army and the creation of a volkish force". I just add stuff to my head like a computer I don't discriminate nor hold anything as "sacred" I just download stuff and added never know when you need it. Even if 99.9% of my entire life non of what I learned or added to my mind has ever done anything. IF anything in the last few years the 99.9% of my mind has become a constant fight and constant attack of others.
And even the 0.1% that isn't NS/Politics/Satanism/Sex/Violence/etc.etc. is simply an expression of a person who is like I don't even know fucking anything but good luck getting that out of my mind. Less than 0.1% of 0.1% comes out in any appropriate way. In fact 99.9% of the 0.1% comes out all convoluted and crazy.
I wonder if that other thread on these A-K forums by Blitz reply to a member. I wonder if the Ansuz rune he mentions to the person on the as he calls it off-topic but really is side-topic. I wonder if Ansuz could help me translate my mind unto my communication i.e. writing/speech/typing.
But the reality is I already quit meditation and meditation never served a purpose for me. It's pointless I'm still the same person back in 2016 when I said "Fuck it I've been dedicated since 2003, I've been meditating on and off after high school more meditation, it led no where. Hell for all intents and purposes it might have led to my mental health break down and the incident with the police with being arrested for being mentally abberrated and going through some sort of mental fugue state".
Sheer fact is I'm about the last person you should speak to. Yes I've been watching history channel in the past from 1997 till just about before I left high school particularly when WW2 was being killed off and the entrance to more modern or less historical properties came in. I think I even got involved with a solid year or so of Ancient Aliens. But the fact of the matter is there is nothing in me that knows or is political. To be honest I'm sick and tired of politics, sick and tired of my entire existence and every thought in my head. I just exist there is no upward nor and or lateral mobility.
Sure by 1999 was using the internet limitedly to study WW2. But for me I just absorb it I thought back when I was a kid Hitler and NS were cool. The holocaust was boring and I avoided that shit and frankly I always had the thought of. If your imprisoned by your state or country it's because you did something bad or wrong. Knowing what I know now my flash of superstition was correct. The holocause is a major big stick wielded by people who are against freedom and believe whatever it is to believe.
It was video taped and photographed. In this country your innocent until proven guilty. Just because someone has evidence on you doesn't make it automatic proof it needs to be proven. Hell with deep fakes coming in I wouldn't be surprised if people use it both to generate positive warfare i.e. attack those who are steeped into the lies. And negative warfare those who are steeped in a lie/lies or simply wish to create non-sense cuz muh snowflake existence.
The reality is I wish to leave these forums never post again and cease NS/SS as it's never served me. Even if I did a historical career I'd be lambasted by the community and probably put on a few death lists as a professional career in historical overview.
The reality is I grow more sick and tired and older and never accomplished anything nor had anything accomplish with neither politics nor Satanism. In fact judging from everything I've learned and done in this shit life I exist in. I accomplished A) Nothing and B) It seems whenever I speak or express myself my family bombs me down. And I've grown up to be more immature, more childish, more of a shitbag, more of an asshole. Hell someone might state "Did you absorb gallons of white energy and became all angel magi arrogant."
No but the reality is I'm just a person full of problems and no solution or if there is a solution it requires such a drastic change from my normal routine of torture and boredom and general shit life. That it's like "Why should I do that, I don't want to do that". It's like Styx said recently We've been lied to and our families were told lies like if you just make 40K a year and accept some debt you'll pay it off in no time, in regards to going to college.
The reality is I'm completely ignorant, stupid, possibly retarded or growing to become retarded, childish, immature, and generally a scumbag and I posses not a single virtue or anything that is positive.
I'm simply a person who absorbs something into their head, adds it to their databanks, and spends hours mashing it around until it becomes a new parameter. The reality is like a therapist said to me a few years ago. Remember and regurgitating stuff isn't smart.
I'm sorry but I'm not smart. If I was smart I would not be NS/SS and I would probably be a Doctorate in some degree despite the fact that Doctors are crappy people who posses such a defined, limit master of one property that they are a failure in others. Or if they aren't failures they know how to be studios and studied and apply critical properties to their existence.
I'd rather be a generalist, jack of all trades, master of all.
The reality is I just live. I don't know how I handle my day. Most of my mind is my mind. I barely if ever do any research it's just what I feel and what I contemplate. Yeah sure I've looked and read stuff. But the reality is pragmatically it's 2023 and nothing that I ever did in my life helped me with anything.
The reality is I can't really help nor be helped into something. I don't want to be a thralldom slave working and pray and then every weekend pumping the opiate of the masses.
I'm not smart nor anything. People confuse my memory and capacity just to vomit out things like a dog of war doing repetitive stuff.
Again I don't know what National Socialism is. Probably never will and like my entire life I'll never know anything on Who, What, Where, When, and How. The reality is I ONLY come to A-Forums and the only forum I ever joined breaking my rule of joining forums. Frankly if I can't find an answer or don't have an answer or the internet is being unhelpful. I just go fuck it I guess I'll never understand nor learn.
Just like National Socialism. I can't go on the internet and go "Search: What is National Socialism?!".
The reality is I'll get it's an ebil, debil system made to harm innocent people and kill them cuz muh mazturbate raze.
The reality is I see it all the time. Everyone is crying out for a change for National Socialism. It's like Styx's recent backing the money. Hell we did this dude listen to Hitler and Feder, back by labor and other various properties of the Nation. Feder and Hitler agreed to be anti-metal and backing things by bitcoin is bad. So RFKjr's Democratic run is somewhat haphazard.
AFODO I appreciate you believing in me. But I'm simply a toxic person who's been alive a bit too long and is sick and tired of life and wishes to just die off and just reincarnate in either a better society or World or simply if reincarnation is fake and just a method by which people believe in a religion or cause to simply be a good person. I guess life is 0- nearly 100 years of age and that is it. Either it's better luck next life cause life sucks and is a worthless piece of shit not just through self-shitting but the shitting people do on other people.
I'm not smart I'm just a robot like I said in my elementary days '96 just about '99. I'm just a robot I don't feel anything nor care to feel anything. Frankly it's no surprise my personality type is INTP a more logical, ice cold, calculating person. I posses very little feelings funny for a cancarian my feelings are simply force multiplication power output turbo for my crazy mind.
Kinda like the album "The Crazy World of Arthur Brown"; "The Crazy World of Gear88".
I simply as I discussed in an email to my friend a rant he's begun to appreciate my rants and in fact encourages me to rant a lot on the weekends. My daily weekend email bombardment rants to my friend.
I simply discussed that there is more to life than simply thralldom, slavery, of ourselves and the walls of our mind, house, and reality.
I feel more like a prisoner, less free, less libertious, and more just suffering and struggling with every little thing. Every thing is just an enormous mountain to climb. Even throwing out the thrash or doing something as simple as drinking water is a philosophical debate.
The reality is and I appreciate your appreciation of me. I say too much shit and people think that is worth it.
I guess deep down inside it's like my friend when I reconnected with him in Middle School and yet again High School beginning.
I speak with these feeling and attitude that makes people listen because I speak in such a way of the factor of there MUST be something better to reality than simply this worthless shit life of being a self-made prisoner.
I appreciate it AFODO but most of my information is utter garbage and just simply copy-paste and paraphrase from other people.
As my astrological chart possessing a chameleon personality. Like Wayman Stewart said, Do we posses a true personality, do we even have a true personality. It scares people in knowing no we don't have a true personality. The reality is I posses no true personality I change on a whim whenever I feel like and frankly my information is just remembering things since 1997 with the History Channel and everything else on WW2 plus 1999 with the internet and the subsequent years.
If anything I posses Ancient History and funny enough it's meme worthy. Like the Mad TV meme with the guy dressed up as a child jumping around going "Look, what I can do!". It's memetic and a part of history and myself and the cancarian ways. And considering nothing is "sacred" for me and I WILL dissect it at gun point and rip it apart to see the engineering and destroy or construct around it.
But honestly I hate my entire life and I hate every moment of it. Nothing bad has happened to me except maybe my mental health crisis and being arrested by the police and spending time in a hospital.
But other than that nothing good ever happened and I'm just a person with nothing better to do and all day to do it and so I just eat shit all day and contemplate stuff.
I appreciate the thought AFODO but I don't want to say it's bullshit. But just standing on shaky grounds and based on 25 years of history that I have to shift through.
Yeah I know I'm not a computer nor ever will be. But as you can see from my huge wall-o-text critical strike. I'm just another person ranting on the internet.
I really regret signing up for the A-Forums my only forum join. If I can't find or research the data I just assume and probably as on a whim fail to ever look it up or continue.
The reality is I'm just about as stupid or stupider than NPCs. An NPC no matter how much of a thralldom, slave they are is superior than me because they have a life. They do stuff, me, I just don't want to do shit.
I don't hate NS/SS but I just wish it collapsed unto me and provided me with capacity to grow laterally and as well as upwardly.
But I'm still the same person as my hardened self and even my toddler age. I never changed or anything just add more shit into my head and pile more shit and more shit and just simply regurgitate everything by vomiting out.
Hence why I lately been distancing from the forums but every time someone posts it's like, I should really reply it would clear up a lot.
Again appreciate it but never use me as an example. In fact it's one reason why I want to quit the forums like I quit meditation.