there is the “illogical” impulse of your life being perfectly fine and yet thoughts arise that it could be even better with a drink or a cigarette or joint
this is called energy, in the sense that it is already engraved in your soul, in the astral map, taking you to this garbage
maybe you have a prominent neptune
https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Neptune_Prominent.html
consciously remove this, it sure helps
or you can have a fucked up life today, with no needs met, no wishes fulfilled, just surviving, and trying to escape, because there is a lot of work to be done and faced
in any case, void meditation, it may be difficult for you, but persistence wins