Question #147: My biggest personal problems

[AskSatanOperator]

Post (Modified to protect anonymity): First thing I masturbated from when I could remember. As a small child what was turning me on were thoughts of dying, imaginating hopelessness and slow death, now it takes form of thinking of pain and humiliation. I am scared if by doing this for so many years I programmed my mind in the wrong way and weakened myself. I really wish for my sexuality to become healthy and to find a way to get sexual excitation without any negative imaginations/affirmations.

The second thing that is bothering me is my asperger syndrome and overall interactions with people. I am in [school] and from the beggining Ive had a friend only 4 years. I am alone 7 years in a row now. I lack any social interactions and i feel like im starting to be like wild animal hurting others when i speak. I am scared that I lack empathy and have problems with feeling gratitude. When i want to befriend someone i never know what to say, I'm afraid Ill either start talking about myself and be egocentric or pry into someones life. I was once in love with a classmate, I managed to speak to them 4 times in 3 years. Didn't went too well.

Well, I don't think I formulated an actual question yet, so what can I do to fight/solve my problems?

Any help in anything appreciated <3
Sorry for bad english and being pathetic.

 

[Rebellious Mercury]

You're not what your mind says you're .That's just how the ego(programmed mind) works, it always trys to maintain certain personalities or habits however bad or negative they're to the victim. The best thing to do is try alot through meditation to get in contact with your higher self(this part of you knows you more than you even know yourself and knows what's good for you) Our minds are programmed by the enemy to fuck us up. After you learn how to control your mind everything will flow including meeting the right people

 

[DarkPagan666]

Unfortunately, a mindset such as this can be influenced by planets placed in the 8th house of death, 12th house of suffering, especially when the planets and house cusps are placed in violent degrees such as 16, 17, 22 and so on. Other placements such as Venus in Scorpio or even Virgo in a certain degree can also manifest fetishes that is of an extreme and nasty nature.

You are in need of deep cleaning of your soul from negative and destructive energies, curses, ill will, depravity and thoughtforms. The mantra Visuddhi is used for this along with FRTR.

Look out for Esbaths and Sabbaths, or other dates for deep cleaning in the SS 2023 Calendar:
https://www.jos-astro.com/#/astro-calendars

Deep clean working:
https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=57615

Cleaning the soul during Witches Sabbath:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=257348

 

[Dahaarkan]

You are mentally ill and spiritually rotten to the core. Perform thorough soul-cleaning consistently for at least a year and consider seeking psychological help. If you are given medication, research anything you've given thoroughly before you take any of it.

Change your masturbation habits, stop masturbating entirely for at least a week, and when you do masturbate again, either visualize healthy sexual relations or watch normal porn. Do not continue to masturbating to such vile thoughts. The longer you go without release, the easier it will be to release the sexual energy when you masturbate again, and you can do this to teach your mind to be stimulated by imagery of normal sex again, instead of the disgusting things you've described.

Clean your aura, chakras and soul thoroughly every day, and breathe in solar energy on a daily basis. Pay special attention to your sacral chakra and clean and empower it thoroughly on a daily basis. Refer to the links posted by Darkpagan666.


Lydia has also recommended this for another person with a somewhat similar issue:

it would be beneficial to do deep cleaning on your sacral chakra. Visuddhi, Surya, as some examples, and affirm that your sacral chakra is purified and healthy, for example. This will alleviate guilt relating to sexuality, and will help you to make healthier choices regarding sexuality, masturbation, etc.

 

[Gearshift]

Unfortunately, a mindset such as this can be influenced by planets placed in the 8th house of death, 12th house of suffering, especially when the planets and house cusps are placed in violent degrees such as 16, 17, 22 and so on. Other placements such as Venus in Scorpio or even Virgo in a certain degree can also manifest fetishes that is of an extreme and nasty nature.

You are in need of deep cleaning of your soul from negative and destructive energies, curses, ill will, depravity and thoughtforms. The mantra Visuddhi is used for this along with FRTR.

Look out for Esbaths and Sabbaths, or other dates for deep cleaning in the SS 2023 Calendar:
https://www.jos-astro.com/#/astro-calendars

Deep clean working:
https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=57615

Cleaning the soul during Witches Sabbath:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=257348

I don't mean to hijack this thread. But I'll say something for the A.P.O.P.(Anonymous Private Original Poster) or APOP.

Just because you ingrained this habit and these negative things, which SHOULD be reprogrammed you don't want this stuff manifesting.

Doesn't mean the "Dark side" of your existence is wrong or bad. Humans much like animals have a dark side and you might want to compartmentalize and use this dark side against an oppressor or use it as fuel to clean yourself. Also consider a freeing the soul working. Aside from cleaning.

Anyways to ask my own personal question to you DarkPagan666 or any other person viewing this post.

I'm someone who only recently started re-vibrating into my centerline main chakras 7 main, 3E, both shoulders, and pineal gland. I've dropped it as I get sick and tired of vibrating over time. I burn out, I'm going to consider doing a modified 40-day guide working next year in 2023. In other words instead of starting from square F'ing one, start somewhere where the guide gets a little more intense.

Anyways my question is these past near 5 years. I've kept up with cleaning since at least 2017 but was working with returning curses pt.1/2 since 2018. I don't know what clean is nor feel clean nor nothing. I'm not a spiritual person nor a feeling of anything. Sometimes I think JoS is fake but it's okay I prefer this place for the political but I understand we have the spiritual as well. Some people are meant to be physicalist and some people are meant for spiritual glory and some have both.

Excuse my despondent or disrespectful thoughts. I know training to elevate spiritual isn't impossibility nor extraordinary hard but people such as myself do have great difficulty with trance and controlling the mind for void/mindfulness. Yes meditation but meditation isn't part of our civilization en mass rather localized over certain areas. Societies don't teach and ingrain this stuff since birth like I'm sure the Empire of Orion does.

Anyways my questions are.

[1.]If I spend some time cleaning my soul. Does the fact I don't elevate my soul mean the visual and factor component of cleaning isn't working to a higher degree?

What I mean is if I don't enhance my soul and elevate it. Does it limit what can and can't be removed? Are negative energies attached to what level you are?(working on the soul or elevating the visual 3E/Pineal)

[2.]If I clean and and remove stuff. What exactly are the factors of being clean or cleaner? How would I know I'm cleaning?

[3.]As with question one. Does the fact I can't enter a trance whereby I feel the trance and it's strongly affecting me. Does
that limit my cleaning?

[4.]If I spend a solid period of time cleaning. Does that mess with spirituality? For example say I open a chakra or open myself up. Does the fact I'm cleaner/clean mean the negatives I've removed are so far gone I go through it swimmingly and negativity doesn't manifest?

In other words at what point is there such a thing as overcleaning and the cleanliness is so clean only the negativity from the outside Universe is affecting me thus my cleaning went from deep cleaning to basic maintenance of cleaning/AoP. Can I overclean? is there a point I have to dive down into vibrating into chakras and elevate the soul through direct stimulation of the working of the metaphysical component.

[5.]Finally in Lydia's message she uses a basketball sized white-gold energy ball like one of the forum members signature that shows an excellent white-gold picture. My question is isn't that just using your mind and imagining stuff coming out? I can visualize all day and spend my time seeing the basketball drain out negativity from my chakra/soul. Especially if I use vibration to clean. Isn't it just thoughts and thinking i.e. pretending to do it. Or is there a genuine action occurring whereby the negativity is coming out?

I guess my only other concern is simply #4. Is there such a thing as overcleaning and if I overclean does the cleaning only clean up to that level. Do I need to elevate myself to clean further?

I know HP.Cobra and another member mentioned Clean/Protected, Unempowered Soul >>>>> Dirty/Unprotected, Empowered Soul plus Cleaning/Protecting is a form of empowerment and elevates the soul further. I guess that is it if I'm overdoing the cleaning. Or is there no such thing as overdoing?

In other words if I become a Hermetic seal before empowering my soul. Does the empowerment phase go smoother till the chakra is open and operating normally.

BTW one more question.

1. If I empower a chakra and it opens up to normal operations. Is that the entire point of chakra work? To simply have the chakra activated, open, and empowered so that it normally operates on it's own? Does mantra on chakras become useless to open further but there are other mantras that empower further and elevate. In other words is chakra mantra work simply to activate and open? In other words I'm awakening the chakra to operate as a conscious structure of my soul.

 

[DarkPagan666]

Unfortunately, a mindset such as this can be influenced by planets placed in the 8th house of death, 12th house of suffering, especially when the planets and house cusps are placed in violent degrees such as 16, 17, 22 and so on. Other placements such as Venus in Scorpio or even Virgo in a certain degree can also manifest fetishes that is of an extreme and nasty nature.

You are in need of deep cleaning of your soul from negative and destructive energies, curses, ill will, depravity and thoughtforms. The mantra Visuddhi is used for this along with FRTR.

Look out for Esbaths and Sabbaths, or other dates for deep cleaning in the SS 2023 Calendar:
https://www.jos-astro.com/#/astro-calendars

Deep clean working:
https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=57615

Cleaning the soul during Witches Sabbath:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=257348

I don't mean to hijack this thread. But I'll say something for the A.P.O.P.(Anonymous Private Original Poster) or APOP.

Just because you ingrained this habit and these negative things, which SHOULD be reprogrammed you don't want this stuff manifesting.

Doesn't mean the "Dark side" of your existence is wrong or bad. Humans much like animals have a dark side and you might want to compartmentalize and use this dark side against an oppressor or use it as fuel to clean yourself. Also consider a freeing the soul working. Aside from cleaning.

Anyways to ask my own personal question to you DarkPagan666 or any other person viewing this post.

I'm someone who only recently started re-vibrating into my centerline main chakras 7 main, 3E, both shoulders, and pineal gland. I've dropped it as I get sick and tired of vibrating over time. I burn out, I'm going to consider doing a modified 40-day guide working next year in 2023. In other words instead of starting from square F'ing one, start somewhere where the guide gets a little more intense.

Anyways my question is these past near 5 years. I've kept up with cleaning since at least 2017 but was working with returning curses pt.1/2 since 2018. I don't know what clean is nor feel clean nor nothing. I'm not a spiritual person nor a feeling of anything. Sometimes I think JoS is fake but it's okay I prefer this place for the political but I understand we have the spiritual as well. Some people are meant to be physicalist and some people are meant for spiritual glory and some have both.

Excuse my despondent or disrespectful thoughts. I know training to elevate spiritual isn't impossibility nor extraordinary hard but people such as myself do have great difficulty with trance and controlling the mind for void/mindfulness. Yes meditation but meditation isn't part of our civilization en mass rather localized over certain areas. Societies don't teach and ingrain this stuff since birth like I'm sure the Empire of Orion does.

Anyways my questions are.

[1.]If I spend some time cleaning my soul. Does the fact I don't elevate my soul mean the visual and factor component of cleaning isn't working to a higher degree?

What I mean is if I don't enhance my soul and elevate it. Does it limit what can and can't be removed? Are negative energies attached to what level you are?(working on the soul or elevating the visual 3E/Pineal)

[2.]If I clean and and remove stuff. What exactly are the factors of being clean or cleaner? How would I know I'm cleaning?

[3.]As with question one. Does the fact I can't enter a trance whereby I feel the trance and it's strongly affecting me. Does
that limit my cleaning?

[4.]If I spend a solid period of time cleaning. Does that mess with spirituality? For example say I open a chakra or open myself up. Does the fact I'm cleaner/clean mean the negatives I've removed are so far gone I go through it swimmingly and negativity doesn't manifest?

In other words at what point is there such a thing as overcleaning and the cleanliness is so clean only the negativity from the outside Universe is affecting me thus my cleaning went from deep cleaning to basic maintenance of cleaning/AoP. Can I overclean? is there a point I have to dive down into vibrating into chakras and elevate the soul through direct stimulation of the working of the metaphysical component.

[5.]Finally in Lydia's message she uses a basketball sized white-gold energy ball like one of the forum members signature that shows an excellent white-gold picture. My question is isn't that just using your mind and imagining stuff coming out? I can visualize all day and spend my time seeing the basketball drain out negativity from my chakra/soul. Especially if I use vibration to clean. Isn't it just thoughts and thinking i.e. pretending to do it. Or is there a genuine action occurring whereby the negativity is coming out?

I guess my only other concern is simply #4. Is there such a thing as overcleaning and if I overclean does the cleaning only clean up to that level. Do I need to elevate myself to clean further?

I know HP.Cobra and another member mentioned Clean/Protected, Unempowered Soul >>>>> Dirty/Unprotected, Empowered Soul plus Cleaning/Protecting is a form of empowerment and elevates the soul further. I guess that is it if I'm overdoing the cleaning. Or is there no such thing as overdoing?

In other words if I become a Hermetic seal before empowering my soul. Does the empowerment phase go smoother till the chakra is open and operating normally.

BTW one more question.

1. If I empower a chakra and it opens up to normal operations. Is that the entire point of chakra work? To simply have the chakra activated, open, and empowered so that it normally operates on it's own? Does mantra on chakras become useless to open further but there are other mantras that empower further and elevate. In other words is chakra mantra work simply to activate and open? In other words I'm awakening the chakra to operate as a conscious structure of my soul.

You clearly have hang-ups in regards to opening your mind to spirituality, which is why you experiences setbacks or even backlashes in your advancement. Your mind and mentality seems stuck and 'stagnated' in a material mindset, preventing you from accessing trance states, feeling energy and to let yourself open up to paranormal/occult/spiritual experiences. You need to attend to this.

Though you mention that you do too much in your current state, burning yourself out. You should find yourself a new approach as to how to advance further without setbacks (as you've already stated with a modified 40 days program).

Program your mind to be open and receptive to spirituality, Satan and the Demons. 20x affirmation before you enter sleep "I am always open to Satanic Spiritual experiences and Satan. I always feel joy and happiness when meditating every day." Just an example.

You could perform a Freeing of the Soul to free yourself from all obstacles and hindrances that prevents you from advancing spiritually.

It is true that some people have more Earth signs than Water signs for an example, influencing the Earth dominated people to feel energies in a different manner, hence individuality.

There is no such thing as a too clean soul. At least not in my own experience. A perfectly clean soul will deflect any and all negative and harmful energies. A clean soul will be extremely bright, easy to empower and elevate unto higher states of existence.

At some point in our advancement, you don't have to empower your chakras every day to keep them open. The chakras will at some point grow in eneough power and obtain a strong energy circuit that makes them self-sufficient and self-sustaining. They do still need empowerment though. At this point, you will be at such an advacned state that you will know without a doubt. If you are the slightest uncertain, then you are not on any such state.

The Gods will give us new Mantras when we reach higher levels in our advancement, which will empower us further. There are also certain meditations that is for more advanced practicioners that will be revealed to you when you have obtained a certain state.

About Lydia's post on deep cleaning and the ball of light: in this particular working you are not just visualizing or imagining the ball. You direct the ball to suck out the negative energies under the supervision and guardianship of a Demon or Demoness. A Demon(ess) is helping you here to remove such negative depravity from your soul. Even though you cannot sense, feel or see them, they are definitely there, assisting you.

 

[SATchives]

you don't need psychological help from jewish western medicine, holistic and meditation way is the most effective , do not use pharmaceuticals. that's poison, with sex magick when you are able to control it, doing aop, or while doing workings. workings for willpower, and heal sacral, workings to forgive and love yourself, try to do eft tapping on it (meridian tapping). do affirmations everyday in morning and night. use runes. several dates are coming up that would help, you check the new calendar. do a working based on those, during most effective hour and try to do that at the same time for 40 days, and try to be as into the working as you can with 100% feeling, intention. do something to get your emotions and true intent going before doing the ritual. and do more exercises to gain more control over your mind, void, like separate your self from the past and future to and focus on the now. at all times all the time, be that higher self in control, in control of those habits, hormones, and feelings. don't let your past control your future. you're always right now so just every moment do something valuable right now. make a busy routine that you stick to and always do what you need to do.

 

[Gearshift]

You clearly have hang-ups in regards to opening your mind to spirituality, which is why you experiences setbacks or even backlashes in your advancement. Your mind and mentality seems stuck and 'stagnated' in a material mindset, preventing you from accessing trance states, feeling energy and to let yourself open up to paranormal/occult/spiritual experiences. You need to attend to this.

The thing is that it isn't fun or anything any more or it never was.

I've been reading on the internet since 1999 when I first got the internet not sure if I was 8 or already was after my birthday so 9 years old.

I don't have a material mindset as a matter of fact if you knew my mindset you'd think I'm crazy for spending so much hours walking and talking to myself. I literally just spend hours of my time thinking how I feel or fantasizing and living in a better reality.

I've been wanting to astral project, lucid dream properly maybe even lucid dream entering as some state. I'm not saying spirituality is fake. But for me it's non-existent. I guess it's a fantasy someone made up to produce a life-long preoccupation.

Sheer fact is it gets old fast. I do things but nothing happens. I guess all these years the lesson I learned is, Why bother advancing spirituality your just growing older in this shitty life and getting older further in this shit life.

Life for me is SS;DD: Same Shit; Different Day.

I don't like it nor do I like living it. I'm not suicidal but I want to do fun stuff like astral project or lucid dream or enter an altered state and feel relaxed afterwards or something. I don't know. I've been studying these phenomena since 1999/2000 with the internet and never served me a purpose. And before that I guess with my family member involved with Mahrahji(Prem Rawat) and self-hypnosis and whatnot. Plus the other family member with her crazy mentality.

I've always had a delusional fantasy of getting off this worthless planet and interacting with proper entities that know what they are doing and know what to do.

I don't want to spiritually advance, if that is even possible. If it means skipping over important lessons. How does a person spiritually advance in an advanced World from the beginning.

You know. I want to do things properly. With me I'm just chaotically strung along in eternal fantasy cause nothing occurs. I guess astral projection is fake or something. Lucid dreaming I've done it, I've written down my dreams. And yet I can never lucid dream like how people do it manipulating reality, summoning objects, doing adventures, even taking off and astral projecting from dream area to astral area.

I feel completely burdened by the knowledge of the joy of Satan. It's the few things I bother to keep in my mind to think about. If I'm not thinking about spirituality, it's National Socialism and inventing or digging deep and recreating it somehow I can explain it to myself. I still don't know what National Socialism is and I've read books on it even Dugdale '36 and Dr. Dalton's '39 Mein Kampf. And both fail to address what National Socialism is. In fact reading the first chapter or two on Collected Writings of Gottfried Feder thanks to Abyssos(Which further compounded me to check out the Tiberian Sun Nod Campaign to check out Anton Slavik, Kane, and Peace through Power!).

I saw Feder take a clip of information from HIS era version of Mein Kampf. And develop a series of paragraphs explaining it not unlike a Gentile version of the Talmud. In fact further on he states, "The main aim of the Programme - taxless society".

I'm going to read further as it's an interesting book. Hell if I was a smart, professional reader. I'd probably develop visual note-taking and note taking and develop my own theorems and processes on National Socialism.

I don't know what NS is but I just acclimate things to it in the hopes of clicking. In other words we do not posses the very NS from them.

Any other things in my head is just fantasizing and passing the time. I just want to go to sleep and put the day past me. Everyday meditating, Holy Shit!; intense. It's probably why I gave up on JoS and meditations back in 2003. Yoga and physical exercise, ugh.... calming and controlling my mind...but then how would I think? How would I process my life? My mind is a thinking machine like the thinking machines from Dune.

I don't know. All I know is maybe I've been mentally ill since birth or born mentally ill. Unfortunately I had the smartness no, no, not smartness...weakness...complete and utter weakness. To state I'm NS/SS my most treasured secret and I said it to my family.

Wow! complete and utter lack of strength, just shows how weak I am. Worst mistake of my life. I don't even know why I bother to interact much less talk to these scum people.

Sheer fact is I did some meditations in the past chakra spinning to speed of light, MerKaBa, one or two more. And did it a handful of times and only came to realize I borked my mind. If you knew about the incidents in my high school involving meditation such as getting high off of imagining something on the bus or being freaked out in lunch thinking my food had been spiked with lsd.

Meditation has not brought me closer to anything. If anything it's just made me realize. I want to be alone and left to my own devices. Maybe in another life time I can solve my issues or be born in a better World and actually trained from the ground up.

I guess my biggest issues is delving into advanced topics. Digging a hole and going, "How the fuck do I get out of here?" with everyone surprised at my utter lack of basic and intermediate grasping.

Like my friend said I dig a hole in advanced land and never bother with the basics or intermediate. Or even pre-basic; you just dive so far in that even the basics turn into such advanced concepts you fail to even grasp them.

Nothing was said on stupidity or anything just simply that I dig too deep.

I'm honestly unhappy being an NS/SS and I just utterly feel unhappy meditating. I don't like to stretch my body, my body is always in pain. I don't like to vibrate stuff unless I'm alone and my family isn't around. Like my stupid family member said, "Those vibrations you do make me feel weird and do you even know what your are doing?" The question isn't do I know what I'm doing the question is do you know what kind of stupidity your in believing your a xtian delving into judeo-bolshevism.

Like this family member said, "We are basically three crazy cats living in the same place".

Meditation has not made my life better or changed it or anything. I just continue existing doing SS;DD. I'm completely unhappy. I have a mountain of questions. I ask questions that never get answered. When I first posted on current A-Forums, I mentioned I was going to join ProPHP forums and ask but everything got answered. When I asked my question, HP. Cobra said you posted a huge 18+ question something like 3 pages worth of questions. I'm sorry HP.Cobra but I've never in my life heard anyone ask those questions.

My routine is basically get up between 7-10am drink coffee. Go on the computer till 12ish or so. Meditate doing the same mental gymnastics I always do to my best of my ability. Then eat and then carry on with the rest of the date. Nothing changed no changes no feeling no nothing just do it and do it for the sake of doing it. It works, it works; it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

Whatever my friend is basically the opposite of me. He dedicated February 2004 never did a thing. Both of us basically dedicated for the sake of dedicating. I did it 29th of April 2003 and he February something 2004. Nothings changed, if anything I just read JoS accepted it cause National Socialism. And basically spent years of my life in middle, high school and up till 2016 inventing my own things thinking, meditating, doing stuff. And just life passing by.

Like my friend said, "It seems like school(no matter how much you hated it!) was your only discipline in life. And now that your out of school and got all this freedom. Your like WTF do I even do with it, so you just shut down."

I want to learn meditation from the beginning. Like an Empire of Orion child is taught from the very beginning. From the most simplistic to development.

Our hyper experimental JoS is too much. Especially in this World of bullshit where no one does anything right or follows anything right.

If the Gods come then delusionally when they come. Then I can learn to meditate.

If anything everything I've studied and read is just for my personal amusement. My databanks, just information to study for the sake of studying.

HP.Cobra made a sermon last year of information for the sake of information.

Nothing wrong with that. Some people such as myself and my friend give zero fucks about life. It's worthless all I care about is learning and just being amused by NS/SS. It works, it works, it doesn't work, it doesn't work; you still do it.

I just learn stuff and amass it. I'm sure it's going to be useful at some point.

I'm gonna end it here as I'm rambling. But I'm just sick and tired of existing. I don't even entertain myself, nothing happens. Whatever like my usual statement, "Oh well better luck next life!".

 

[Henu the Great]

I don't have a material mindset as a matter of fact if you knew my mindset you'd think I'm crazy for spending so much hours walking and talking to myself. I literally just spend hours of my time thinking how I feel or fantasizing and living in a better reality.

That's a material mindset.

I've been wanting to astral project, lucid dream properly maybe even lucid dream entering as some state. I'm not saying spirituality is fake. But for me it's non-existent. I guess it's a fantasy someone made up to produce a life-long preoccupation.

There are several reasons for this. One part is that you have hangups and blockages of several sorts, one of them that you are being mentally ill. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying this to upset, or talk down on you, or anything. It's just that we have to be real here about what is what since all things tie in together and play a role in the whole.

I don't want to spiritually advance, if that is even possible. If it means skipping over important lessons. How does a person spiritually advance in an advanced World from the beginning.

In essence, it is done by like any other work being done. By putting consistent effort in day in, day out. It is doable by you too, believe it or not.

You know. I want to do things properly. With me I'm just chaotically strung along in eternal fantasy cause nothing occurs. I guess astral projection is fake or something. Lucid dreaming I've done it, I've written down my dreams. And yet I can never lucid dream like how people do it manipulating reality, summoning objects, doing adventures, even taking off and astral projecting from dream area to astral area.

The one major thing that would help you achieve what you want is to spiritually advance. So there seems to be a contradiction here by you wanting the result of something, but not wanting to work for it. No free lunches, I am afraid.

I feel completely burdened by the knowledge of the joy of Satan. It's the few things I bother to keep in my mind to think about.

The key to making the progression of large subjects (of any kind) is to chop them up into smaller, manageable pieces and taking control of the smaller portions one by one.

I don't know. All I know is maybe I've been mentally ill since birth or born mentally ill. Unfortunately I had the smartness no, no, not smartness...weakness...complete and utter weakness. To state I'm NS/SS my most treasured secret and I said it to my family.

In past, you brought up that you've had what can be described as symptoms of mental illness. And another factor that ties strongly is the need for and the usage of antipsychotic medications. This sort of medication does hinder spiritual capabilities by a lot. So, there are multiple factors that tie into the whole.

Wow! complete and utter lack of strength, just shows how weak I am. Worst mistake of my life. I don't even know why I bother to interact much less talk to these scum people.

Well, frankly, you are not in a position to call others scum. Not that it is justifiable at any point, but I do get where you are coming from. Regardless, healing yourself and lifting yourself from misery is totally doable with the aid of 8-fold path.

Maybe in another life time I can solve my issues or be born in a better World and actually trained from the ground up.

That is an irresponsible way of thinking. You are here and now, and granted an almost exclusive opportunity for the advancement of your soul. You are also being guided by those above you, very much.

I guess my biggest issues is delving into advanced topics. Digging a hole and going, "How the fuck do I get out of here?" with everyone surprised at my utter lack of basic and intermediate grasping.

To me, it does not look like you are grasping much of anything. While it is true that you delve into more complex issues than basics, this does not mean that you understand them. This brings me back to my point above about chopping up large whole into smaller pieces as a way to keep learning manageable. For the nth time (really, I've said this multiple times to you), start low, go slow and build up from there. That's what it comes down to.

Nothing was said on stupidity or anything just simply that I dig too deep.

It's called a lack of wisdom.

I have a mountain of questions. I ask questions that never get answered.

Dozens of your questions have been answered only very recently, not to mention all the other questions in the past. So the above statement by you is "a bit" disrespectful towards us who answer and give guidance and use our time for this.

My routine is basically get up between 7-10am drink coffee. Go on the computer till 12ish or so. Meditate doing the same mental gymnastics I always do to my best of my ability. Then eat and then carry on with the rest of the date. Nothing changed no changes no feeling no nothing just do it and do it for the sake of doing it. It works, it works; it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

Describe what you do meditation-wise in detail. I can guarantee that by changing the routine up there is progress to be made. In addition, how you do is very important to address as well. So, you should describe in detail how you do.

But most importantly. If you want to change for the better, the want and need have to come within yourself. If it does not come from you, it makes very little sense for you to ask any questions from us, and be answered. Our time is valuable, and if you do not make any use of what has been relayed, it's a wasted effort. So answer this one thing at least: Are you going to take heed and improve your situation (we can coach you), or not?

Like my friend said, "It seems like school(no matter how much you hated it!) was your only discipline in life. And now that your out of school and got all this freedom. Your like WTF do I even do with it, so you just shut down."

Freedom is a great responsibility. Responsibility to take care of what needs to be taken care of, instead of letting others do what needs to be done for you (!!!).

I want to learn meditation from the beginning. Like an Empire of Orion child is taught from the very beginning. From the most simplistic to development.

In the most practical, easy to grasp terms: Pick a small portion of the joyofsatan meditation or witchcraft section and read all from that small segment. Then practice what is said in that small segment. Make it a habit, ingraining it. Once it is ingrained, add another small portion on top of it. Keep repeating, thus learning ever so more.

Our hyper experimental JoS is too much. Especially in this World of bullshit where no one does anything right or follows anything right.

Not when you learn how to learn.

If the Gods come then delusionally when they come. Then I can learn to meditate.

That's not how it works. It works by learning here and now. Again, Gods are present for us here all the time.

I just learn stuff and amass it. I'm sure it's going to be useful at some point.

I'm gonna end it here as I'm rambling. But I'm just sick and tired of existing. I don't even entertain myself, nothing happens. Whatever like my usual statement, "Oh well better luck next life!".

Very little use for mental gymnastics when it is not done properly, and never put into practice. Going further, not advancing spiritually, and losing access to the memories of the current incarnation after death only brings the same issues to be learned again, or needing access to memories regained by meditation. So, there is no shortcut to a better life next life. It is achieved by gradually progressing, which is only doable by yourself, for yourself.

 

[DarkPagan666]

You are missing my point. You have a dual-nature towards spirituality. You acknowledge its existence, but you do not grasp it or actually open yourself to it.

You have an overly illusionary mind with escapist tendencies. You lack stability, discipline and structure to move onward with meditation and other things in life. From what I gather, you do not set goals to bring purpose into your life. You just fill your void with more knowledge without actually making an effort in utilizing this knowledge and help you grow further in life. You exhaust yourself by overthinking and clinging on to "what ifs" that serves no good or any improvements. You are bound to the material life of stagnation due to this.

Advanced knowledge is nothing if the basics aren't mastered. You must master the basics before moving on to the next step. It is as climbing a mountain where you need to camp for a period at certain stages, before you can move onward and climb higher.

Your family do not understand the life of an SS or NS, saying things that is hurtful, as they are without. It seems here are something with your family ties that goes deep and of a negative nature. It is an idea to look into if you need to make some astral cuttings here. Cutting of negative ties, not the good ones.

You should work to set more goals for yourself. Goals bring purpose and something more to live for than just filling a void with knowledge. Knowledge do bring pleasure in many respects, but knowledge is just information if not utilized i.e. brought to action such as cleaning the soul, empowering the soul, FREEING the soul etc.

A sporadic meditation cycle can actually cause someone to become depressed and apathic. This is because you raise the bioelectricity, then it falls, raise it, then it falls again. It is not very ideal nor very healthy. When the lows hits, they hit hard and it will be difficult to get out of it as the mind is stubborn that way. There are some natural laws to this as well.

Remember that the mind will not understand when you begin to make improvements or making an effort in improving your life. The mind will try its best to retaliate with thoughts trying or influencing you to stop what you are doing. Here is Void Meditation a Key, as well as the Saturnian Law of discipline, structure, stability and consistency. Here the rune Nauthiz can help you with discipline and consistency with performing meditation every day.

Again, you keep saying meditation is an effort for you and that it unsatisfactory, which is why I recommended to reprogram your mind into finding joy and happiness with meditation. When did you meditate upon your Pineal gland and Crown chakra the last time? When these activate, they help to bring joy with meditation.

Exploit the SS Calendar for 2023. Do a freeing of the soul to help you remove hang-ups, obstacles and hindrances in meditating and advancing in spirituality. This is extremely important. You must free yourself from all things that keep you from advancing.

You should also strive to do other workings to improve areas of your life, as you yourself wish. When you see the workings are materializing, this will bring much satisfaction, a sense of strength and well being.

In conjunction to the above, I suggest you do Father Satans Psalm and Ritual today and ask for guidance on improving your life. I am sure the Gods have already led you here to acknowledge what I am stating to you. I once had the same issues in the beginning as my mind kept me from meditating. Satan guided me to Freeing the Soul. It is very possible to Free your soul and move onward from a low state of life, to higher states of existence.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

...

I'm sorry that I haven't answered some of your other questions yet, but I wanted to briefly reply to you:

Do not think you have to trudge through boring meditations for your entire life, or deal with any other obstacles that prevent your success here. You ONLY have to get to the point of finishing a 40 day working for this.

For example, start a freeing working in January for removing any obstacles that may prevent you from consistently meditating, programming in the best way for your spiritual advancement. Do this as long as possible, but at least 40 days. Some karma will come up, but every 9 day cycle will make the problem easier and easier.

Basically, you are just stuck on level 1 and thinking you have to finish the whole game like this. In reality, you just need to beat the first level (say 2 months of beginner meditations and finishing this working), then you will be in a much better spot.

You said you got burnt out from doing the chakra vibrations, which is why I mentioned a lesser amount, such as just 3 per chakra. This is plenty as a beginner, especially combined with yoga which you can do in front of the TV or whatever.

You already have so much knowledge and even a decent amount of introductory experience, so you are actually closer than you think to success, but you keep prematurely giving up, then justifying it somehow.

I don't want to sound cruel, but when the Gods get here, they will just give you basically the same advice as they can give you now. They are ALREADY trying to help you, but you have to work with them as well. Ask them these same questions that you ask us and you will receive signs and encouragement.

 

[Gearshift]

Okay I'll mention my meditation ritual:

1. Clean/Protect; Rc.pt1 x3 programmed/x3 unprogrammed FATSJD RTR cleaning/pt.2, 36 vibrations of Surya, 3 basic protection, basic white-gold simple JoS AoP, Sun AoP, and auric strengthener protection.

2. Luck ritual till Jan.10, 21 days NakedPluto's magick ritual.

3. Align chakra/Spin Chakra; when I remember to I do it in the beginning if not the end.

4. 20 breaths of akasha to amplify/balance air element. Once in a while I use a direct breath.

5. Brown Energy for centering/grounding

That's it.

Jan.15 is a freeing date plus VoCless. And I plan to do it up to 720 days if I can handle it. If 40 days goes well I'll continue at it, if 90 carry on. A general vomit of any and all negative karma. I am totally and completely free from any and all negative karma x9.

I'm not sure if it's just simply karma or negative energy. I assume negative karma is a kind of negative energy that isn't cleansed fully without imparting a counter-vibrational pattern and sloughing it off. It begets negativity but isn't removable completely or entirely from the soul i.e. an attached sin or negative vibration. I can clean but the karma is stuck inside you CAN reduce the begetting of negativity but not remove the karma itself without freeing the soul.

As for family karma or whatever. Yeah probably who the fuck knows what my crazy mother said or did or my family. Yeah I do have a family karma. It exists it's been existing since I was born.