If it had been a workday, that would have been a no-call no-show for work. What it was instead was ten-thousand times worse than that. It was a no-call no-show for Satanic Spiritual Practice. I have already failed in this way over half a dozen times. That is absolutely unacceptable. It is because of my radical convictions and fiery beliefs that I am obligated to be brutal to myself. I am hated by many. My beliefs are fundamentally incompatible with those of almost the entire world. I have no qualms with imposing my will and correcting humanity. Only someone who has brutally disciplined themselves without faltering can achieve such a feat. Otherwise, if I continue to falter, than I am an embarrassment and a laughingstock upon Spiritual Satanism, and that is not okay. As long as I am rigidly adherent to my spiritual practices, my ambitions, my goals, and my assertions have weight, and I can speak with conviction and finality. When I falter, I am shown to be a liar, a fraud, and an imbecile.
The consequences of my failure will be unbearable to countless generations of my Folk. The difference between my victory and my failure is inconceivable. I will be hated until I am victorious, I will be dogpiled, ridiculed, challenged, slandered, accused, insulted, spat upon, and doubted. Only when my aims have been utterly completed, when my every whim, my every conviction, and every last part of my will has been imposed, and when my worldview has been stunningly vindicated before the entire world through the undeniable results of my policies, and when the entire world finally wakes up and recognizes that I am right, and when every single White child is guaranteed a beautiful life filled with happiness, VITALITY, and perfect physical development into adulthood, and when the incel problem has been utterly eradicated, and when every last trace of degeneracy and jewish egalitarianism has been purged from the very memory of every single White person on Earth, only then will I finally be able to relax, and go easy on myself. It is exactly because I am adversarial, not by choice, but by fate, that I have no choice but to be this hard on myself. I'm not being any more cruel to myself than my enemies will be if I lose to them. My austerity date will not change again.
I may have apologized to everyone here, yes, but who I am really sorry to is innumerable generations of White Folk who would not benefit from my ideals if I don't attain every last ambition that I have, with no compromise, and no idea left out. I have to win all of the way, not some of the way. I don't intend to get 90% of my ideas accomplished, I intend to accomplish 100% of my ideas. If I so much as think of it, I intend to do it, no matter the opposition, and there will be opposition. That is why I must be this cruel with myself.
Hail Satan! Hail Lilith!