ok firstly i wanna say something before i forgett it... here are people who are SS FOR YEARS and are just starting to open up their astral sight which leads to actually see demons, or open up their astral hearing which leads to hearing demons...that means, it is a shitload of work on your chakras, not one chakra, but CHAKRAS... be patient, it will happen... another thing that no one said it yet, all of us are on different level, which means for example that one person will master something in 2 years, while other needs 20 years, it depends on the past lives, on your spiritual development, on your understand, the planets aswell etc., so if you have done anything spiritual in your past lives then it will be easier in this one.... if you have done little (in my case from what i could see in my past lives) it will take longer, but it is how it is, and if i dont reach magnum opus in this life, it will be easier in the next because i have done something in this one and in the last one, i mean i have done enough in my past life to actually notice things which happened to me which are of spiritual nature to actually even come to satanism to find the explanations of what is happening...
now look i will share my life story aswell but i will not whine about it i do not even regret anything that happened, i understand WHY it happened... now listen:
i come from a strong christian place, even worse, small town with primitive people who are obsessed with christianity and almost everyone is wrong in the head... i discovered in the early age a was a homosexual, shortly after i was the only girl in my town who became a metalhead, even worse, i was always manly like and barely feminine (at least in my early age, today is a bit different), so yeah you have a lesbian satanic looking manly girl in a small christian town... you can imagine the attention... so i was beaten through one whole school year EVERY DAY in the school and on the streets, by the groups of people, men, women, both, different age, didnt matter, i was beaten daily, no one even rushed to help me i mean it was even in the center of a town they watched me, a girl, being harrassed and punched by 6 boys, you think someone rushed to help me? no... for some time i was even a target for priests, because from where i come from since its a small town, the religious "education" is done in the church with priests, sooo we had the subject HOMOSEXUALITY and priest said full of anger: DOES ANY OF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO IS LIKE THAT???!!!...EVERYONE in the room pointed out on me, so yeah then i had a church full of priests to deal with... then my parents found it i was a homo, they didnt talked with me for months, then in that time i met my ex-girlfriend, who was normal in the beginning, shortly after i had to move to another country, thought my troubles were gonna stop, but latery when i became SS my ex-gf was severely attacked by the enemy like completely consumed and through her (she was also dedicated but seriously i have no idea what happened to her......) they tried to make me commit suicide, until i reached the point where i only had 2 ways: kill myself OR rise as a new being... so i chosed the obvious answer, and trust me, there is NO ONE today that could fuck with me (excuse my language) i became so strong in my personality, so no one is able to manipulate me, i have no weak spots (except that the aryan race goes down, which is my biggest and only fear), so basicly people called ME to help them, to talk to them, to put them to a right way, i may not have many friends, but those who i do appreciate me for who i am and they see it, my troubles are GONE....
i read here daily how people have troubles and sure, troubles do vary, some have more strenght to deal with it, some less, some need more time to understand certain things, some less, its all fine, also about love... many ask like every 4-5 days to have succubus, or to attraced the perfect soulmate for them, or to start doing several love/sex workings....love is strong emotion, yes, but many still do not understand it fully and most probably rush into some things, and as we know it, enemy does controll the people through love, by that i mean that people who rush into these workings, probably end up at some point having sex with the enemy or just feel sooooo lonely and start living in a fantasy, or some desire the love so much they think they are gonna die if they dont find the love of their life in the next few days... i know we all must procreate etc etc etc, but (this is my opinion) i really think that many didnt even thought about the real meaning of love, the same goes for existence, many struggle to find the meaning, but once you find it, and you know it is true, no matter how many steps you have ahead of you to even reach the top, the thing is you have to keep going,and many even give up just after a few first steps, just looking HIIIGGGHH up and saying "ohhh this is too high for such a goal i will NEVER make it", instead of looking where the next step is which you have to make and concentrate on going foward step by step, and by doing so you will reach the goal eventually ( im talking about magnum opus and spiritual development in general) which makes you better than everyone else because you are at least going foward and not looking back, i have met soooo many people in my life, and i introduced so many to spiritual satanism, and yet many are too scared of it... all of them say they want simple life and all this sounds too complicated, they will never be so patient with themselves to actually reach something... sad i know but what else to do? i can only keep going my way and eventuely reach that spiritual level to be able to prove them that some things are real (stuff like levitation, pyrokinesis etc) and just hope it will not be too late for them...
yeah i said now shitload of stuff i know i know im sorry, but i want to say is that you should learn to appreciate that you have found out about SS and decided to be part of it, then BE part of it, do not talk that you are weak or worthless and bla bla, see the bigger picture, make yourself strong, and yes, i have a friend like you who is a good looking, muscular, a wonderfull gentlemen, he couldnt even kill an ant without regretting it and he also never had a relationship and women to who he has spoken to also said: uuu i already have a boyfriend and bla bla so no worries here, it will come with the time when you are ready, someone said it on the old forum, that your true love (or even more of them if you are polygamous), will come only then when you are going into the direction of perfection and when you can present yourself to this person in your most perfect light, instead of now at this moment while you still struggle with many problems which you need to handle... so if this person would see you in this state, she would probably go away ( not trying to offend or anything)... take your time, study the JOS, meditate, to magick, do rtr, do not overdo yourself, do your own research on things, learn stuff from the JOS library, read stuff from nazi archive, try to understand who you are and do your mission as SS, you cannot turn from it, being SS is forever, you did your dedication, it is FOREVER, work on you to become what you want to become... there will always be times in the life which will be bad, but it depends on you how YOU will deal with it, which makes it less bad or not bad at all if you know what to do...
alright i talked too much again, i hoped i didnt put too much stuff in the soup and actually made any sense :lol:
). All this and still nothing. I live in a white country where women totally lack energy, enthusiasm, courage and whenever you invite one outside, even in a group not just as a date they are always too tired, too busy or just say a big loud NO with no justification, just as a child. BUT, still I see lots of other people that break down this barrier and build families. I am a Satanist, I did magik for this problem, I also did intense aura programming for this matter and still I fail, while they as atheists or xtians succed whithout much effort. Some would say the classical "women are attracted to douchebags"... Ok, but some of them are really thin and ugly so we cannot use the "douchebags are hot" excuse here. Right now at this specific point in my life, poeple can say a lot of theory and advices BUT it still feels like I am some sort of slave that must not raise above his conditon and that I live in a country of gods or some sort of superior human beings. I don't think it is normal to make such titanic efforts to build a relationship/family, this should be easy and natural.
