Newbie...and kind of in a rut. :/

[annarocker22]

So, I've always known Satan wasn't the bad guy, but growing up in a Christian family, I was always force to believe he was. I was forced to go to church when I was little, but I don't really remember it much since my dad let me get out of church. After that, though, as I got older, I started to become more and more drawn to Satan, so I started looking things up and got started in it. I even found Joy of Satan website and dedicated myself to Satan. But...I hate to say that I kept backsliding. For some reason, something was telling me don't and I kept drawing out of it. I don't know if it was fear or not. But, I was actually starting to feel Satan and even some daemons before I began backsliding. So, when I tried to get into it again, my mother found my things. Then her, my aunt, and my grandmother made me burn all my things and even took me to church that night. They made me pray and their preacher even touched me, made me feel sick, I felt I was going to puke.I felt really sick, like something was trying to take over my body. After that, I really didn't do anything. No Satanism, no nothing. But now, well, recently, I've been wanting to go back to Satan, to get right again, but...now I can't seem to feel him. I can't feel Satan or that safe, warm feeling I felt before all this and it's scaring me. I don't want to be in with the Christians and their false god. I only want to be with Satan. Can someone please help me? Give me guidance, advice? I just want to be with Satan once again, to feel that warmth he gave me.

Sorry to bother, and sorry to rant, but I just can't take being like this anymore. I need help.

 

[the_fire_starter666]

Hey, first of all, relax! You really shouldn't worry about getting a feeling at all, it's not very important. SS is more than just getting a feeling, it's about transforming your soul to Godhood. What you need to do is start doing power meditations every day (and kundalini yoga if you have the time) and don't let anything else distract you from your soul empowerment. Don't let worries like this become an obstacle to your spiritual progress. Of course you should also do rituals every week, and it's important to participate in spiritual warfare and enlighten people.

Just remember, SS is about being active, not staying and worrying or feeling sorry or sitting idly, these can only make you worse. If you regret backsliding then you should show it with your daily practice and spiritual warfare.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "annarocker22" <annarocker22@... wrote:

So, I've always known Satan wasn't the bad guy, but growing up in a Christian family, I was always force to believe he was. I was forced to go to church when I was little, but I don't really remember it much since my dad let me get out of church. After that, though, as I got older, I started to become more and more drawn to Satan, so I started looking things up and got started in it. I even found Joy of Satan website and dedicated myself to Satan. But...I hate to say that I kept backsliding. For some reason, something was telling me don't and I kept drawing out of it. I don't know if it was fear or not. But, I was actually starting to feel Satan and even some daemons before I began backsliding. So, when I tried to get into it again, my mother found my things. Then her, my aunt, and my grandmother made me burn all my things and even took me to church that night. They made me pray and their preacher even touched me, made me feel sick, I felt I was going to puke.I felt really sick, like something was trying to take over my body. After that, I really didn't do anything. No Satanism, no nothing. But now, well, recently, I've been wanting to go back to Satan, to get right again, but...now I can't seem to feel him. I can't feel Satan or that safe, warm feeling I felt before all this and it's scaring me. I don't want to be in with the Christians and their false god. I only want to be with Satan. Can someone please help me? Give me guidance, advice? I just want to be with Satan once again, to feel that warmth he gave me.

Sorry to bother, and sorry to rant, but I just can't take being like this anymore. I need help.

 

[Al Reyes]

Fucking christians! horrible deluded people i wish i could inquisition all of there asses... uhh i feel for you sis well since it wasnt your will that left satan you were practically forced. Satan and your guardian understand this, so i think your still with satan aslong as your heart is with him then yes you are still with him. He never abandons his own and never punishes you if you abandon him. If i were you id gather the materials necessary to do a ritual and connect with him. just so you can get in touch with him. Im also going to link you a training program so you may begin empowering yourself witch is an HUGE aspect of true satanism . Its what you should have done after your dedication ritual.
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... itual.html 

http://web.archive.org/web/201002111259 ... ining.html 

HAIL FATHER SATAN!!!!

From: annarocker22 <annarocker22@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, March 8, 2012 12:29 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Newbie...and kind of in a rut. :/

  So, I've always known Satan wasn't the bad guy, but growing up in a Christian family, I was always force to believe he was. I was forced to go to church when I was little, but I don't really remember it much since my dad let me get out of church. After that, though, as I got older, I started to become more and more drawn to Satan, so I started looking things up and got started in it. I even found Joy of Satan website and dedicated myself to Satan. But...I hate to say that I kept backsliding. For some reason, something was telling me don't and I kept drawing out of it. I don't know if it was fear or not. But, I was actually starting to feel Satan and even some daemons before I began backsliding. So, when I tried to get into it again, my mother found my things. Then her, my aunt, and my grandmother made me burn all my things and even took me to church that night. They made me pray and their preacher even touched me, made me feel sick, I felt I was going to puke.I felt really sick, like something was trying to take over my body. After that, I really didn't do anything. No Satanism, no nothing. But now, well, recently, I've been wanting to go back to Satan, to get right again, but...now I can't seem to feel him. I can't feel Satan or that safe, warm feeling I felt before all this and it's scaring me. I don't want to be in with the Christians and their false god. I only want to be with Satan. Can someone please help me? Give me guidance, advice? I just want to be with Satan once again, to feel that warmth he gave me.

Sorry to bother, and sorry to rant, but I just can't take being like this anymore. I need help.

 

[Anna Nation]

Thank you so much for the link and for the advice. 
From: Al Reyes <al_reyes666@...
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]
Sent: Friday, March 9, 2012 11:36 AM
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Newbie...and kind of in a rut. :/

  Fucking christians! horrible deluded people i wish i could inquisition all of there asses... uhh i feel for you sis well since it wasnt your will that left satan you were practically forced. Satan and your guardian understand this, so i think your still with satan aslong as your heart is with him then yes you are still with him. He never abandons his own and never punishes you if you abandon him. If i were you id gather the materials necessary to do a ritual and connect with him. just so you can get in touch with him. Im also going to link you a training program so you may begin empowering yourself witch is an HUGE aspect of true satanism . Its what you should have done after your dedication ritual.
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... html&nbsp;

http://web.archive.org/web/201002111259 ... html&nbsp;

HAIL FATHER SATAN!!!!

From: annarocker22 <annarocker22@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, March 8, 2012 12:29 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Newbie...and kind of in a rut. :/

  So, I've always known Satan wasn't the bad guy, but growing up in a Christian family, I was always force to believe he was. I was forced to go to church when I was little, but I don't really remember it much since my dad let me get out of church. After that, though, as I got older, I started to become more and more drawn to Satan, so I started looking things up and got started in it. I even found Joy of Satan website and dedicated myself to Satan. But...I hate to say that I kept backsliding. For some reason, something was telling me don't and I kept drawing out of it. I don't know if it was fear or not. But, I was actually starting to feel Satan and even some daemons before I began backsliding. So, when I tried to get into it again, my mother found my things. Then her, my aunt, and my grandmother made me burn all my things and even took me to church that night. They made me pray and their preacher even touched me, made me feel sick, I felt I was going to puke.I felt really sick, like something was trying to take over my body. After that, I really didn't do anything. No Satanism, no nothing. But now, well, recently, I've been wanting to go back to Satan, to get right again, but...now I can't seem to feel him. I can't feel Satan or that safe, warm feeling I felt before all this and it's scaring me. I don't want to be in with the Christians and their false god. I only want to be with Satan. Can someone please help me? Give me guidance, advice? I just want to be with Satan once again, to feel that warmth he gave me.

Sorry to bother, and sorry to rant, but I just can't take being like this anymore. I need help.