Negative Thoughts.. Fear?

[sskyuu1111]

Greetings everyone!
First off all I'd like to mention that I'm no satanist (for now?). Still I respect very much its teachings and follow its point of views about life. Also English is not my first language as you might've noticed! =(

If it's okay for me to post here I'd like advice about how to deal with negative intrusive (and obsessive) thoughts. Everytime I start meditating or trying to do some magick work (or even when I'm enjoying some other activity) they start popping up and I get so frustrated to the point I even hold fear of myself sometimes. I don't even mean them sometimes, they just come up.

My theory is that these "negative thoughts" are a barrier trying to stop me ("protect" me?) from becoming more powerful and with it capable of affecting reality in a negative way or w/e. Like a subconscious deep fear and lack of self-confidence.

Even if they alone have no meaningful power since my will/desire is not there I become obsessed with 'what if' kinda thoughts. Soooo frustrating it gives me headaches...

The thing is I had had some success lately with magick so since then I became so scared about myself =( (I'm also new about all this so it hit me like a truck .<)

Any advice from knowledgeable people out here?
How can I control this?

Thanks!

 

[blackmoon0343]

Clean and protect your aura is all I can say since you aren't a Satanist yet. Once you do the dedication, you can do a banishing ritual. (Keep in mind it may have to be done more than once.) These negative thoughts are far from protecting you.
If you haven't already, read and study joyofsatan.org 

---In [email protected], <sskyuu1111@... wrote:

Greetings everyone!
First off all I'd like to mention that I'm no satanist (for now?). Still I respect very much its teachings and follow its point of views about life. Also English is not my first language as you might've noticed! =(

If it's okay for me to post here I'd like advice about how to deal with negative intrusive (and obsessive) thoughts. Everytime I start meditating or trying to do some magick work (or even when I'm enjoying some other activity) they start popping up and I get so frustrated to the point I even hold fear of myself sometimes. I don't even mean them sometimes, they just come up.

My theory is that these "negative thoughts" are a barrier trying to stop me ("protect" me?) from becoming more powerful and with it capable of affecting reality in a negative way or w/e. Like a subconscious deep fear and lack of self-confidence.

Even if they alone have no meaningful power since my will/desire is not there I become obsessed with 'what if' kinda thoughts. Soooo frustrating it gives me headaches...

The thing is I had had some success lately with magick so since then I became so scared about myself =( (I'm also new about all this so it hit me like a truck .<)

Any advice from knowledgeable people out here?
How can I control this?

Thanks!

 

[karthikkashyap84]

I would also advice you to practice void meditation. That helps you focus your mind and filter out unwanted thoughts. It will take some effort, but it is worth it. For me, concentrating on something without negative thoughts about certain things I am going through is very difficult. Apart from doing void meditation regularly, whenever I feel that my negative emotions start taking a toll, I start doing void meditation. It does help. 

---In [email protected], <bloodyblackrose343@... wrote:

Clean and protect your aura is all I can say since you aren't a Satanist yet. Once you do the dedication, you can do a banishing ritual. (Keep in mind it may have to be done more than once.) These negative thoughts are far from protecting you.
If you haven't already, read and study joyofsatan.org 

---In [email protected], <sskyuu1111@... wrote:

Greetings everyone!
First off all I'd like to mention that I'm no satanist (for now?). Still I respect very much its teachings and follow its point of views about life. Also English is not my first language as you might've noticed! =(

If it's okay for me to post here I'd like advice about how to deal with negative intrusive (and obsessive) thoughts. Everytime I start meditating or trying to do some magick work (or even when I'm enjoying some other activity) they start popping up and I get so frustrated to the point I even hold fear of myself sometimes. I don't even mean them sometimes, they just come up.

My theory is that these "negative thoughts" are a barrier trying to stop me ("protect" me?) from becoming more powerful and with it capable of affecting reality in a negative way or w/e. Like a subconscious deep fear and lack of self-confidence.

Even if they alone have no meaningful power since my will/desire is not there I become obsessed with 'what if' kinda thoughts. Soooo frustrating it gives me headaches...

The thing is I had had some success lately with magick so since then I became so scared about myself =( (I'm also new about all this so it hit me like a truck .<)

Any advice from knowledgeable people out here?
How can I control this?

Thanks!

 

[sskyuu1111]

Thanks for the answers!
I'm forcing myself to doing the meditations, I'll not give up. Once I've fully made my mind and became a little more powerful I will do the dedication ritual (I don't want to appear as a weakling before Satan .< so I'll continue this journey alone for a while (or should I say with my demon lover? ).

In regard to this problem (which I see is very common here, luckily not to the point of considering suicide); I've been trying all kind of methods to reduce my anxiety/fear/lack of self-confidence (one of these brought my interest in Satan and its guidance). The objective: control my thoughts and not be the slave of them.
I dunno if it's the right one but this is what I've done:
I've created like an astral thingy that devours every unwanted thought, image or bad energy that comes from or near me. So far it seems to work I just have to give it more energy (I mean every time a negative thought comes up I visualize it being devoured by this thingy and thus growing with it). Is it too childish? xD
This is a little hard but oh well.. this is all part of this journey of self-discovery right?
I hope I helped someone..

Thanks!

 

[iorost]

I really am not an expert but I think if you put negative thoughts and emotions into visualizing something that devours it, it could be a good thing. But you may be creating a thought form that could eventually decide to do things on its own in the astral when you're not around to command it. I forget the term used to describe creating something like this, but it can be done and only should be done VERY CAREFULLY. I would say imagine the negative thoughts and emotions being incinerated by white/gold energy radiating off of your soul , through your body like you are the sun. Burn everything that plagues your mind with the power of light, do not create a monster to eat another monster. You have to clean house yourself.

---In [email protected], <sskyuu1111@... wrote:

Thanks for the answers!
I'm forcing myself to doing the meditations, I'll not give up. Once I've fully made my mind and became a little more powerful I will do the dedication ritual (I don't want to appear as a weakling before Satan .< so I'll continue this journey alone for a while (or should I say with my demon lover? ).

In regard to this problem (which I see is very common here, luckily not to the point of considering suicide); I've been trying all kind of methods to reduce my anxiety/fear/lack of self-confidence (one of these brought my interest in Satan and its guidance). The objective: control my thoughts and not be the slave of them.
I dunno if it's the right one but this is what I've done:
I've created like an astral thingy that devours every unwanted thought, image or bad energy that comes from or near me. So far it seems to work I just have to give it more energy (I mean every time a negative thought comes up I visualize it being devoured by this thingy and thus growing with it). Is it too childish? xD
This is a little hard but oh well.. this is all part of this journey of self-discovery right?
I hope I helped someone..

Thanks!

 

[brandonmoreno321]

 You have not dedicated yet brother, and therefore you are greatly more open to enemy attacks.   The enemy uses any and all methods in order to instill you with fear, doubt, and confusion.  Your negative thoughts?  Anxiety? Fear?  Lacking of self confidence?  Everything screams enemy attacks.   You are dabbling in satanism.  Without dedicating to Satan, and jumping into these types of meditations, you are putting yourself up to these types of attacks. 
Currently ,the enemy is as desperate as ever.  They know they lost, and they will do everything they can to try and prevent any more gentiles awakening and coming to Father Satan.  Don't misunderstand me though, I'm not saying to blindly rush into dedicating to Father Satan.  When you dedicate, it has to be of your own free will.  You have to WANT to, not feel you are being forced to.


HAIL SATAN!!!HAL ALL THE GODS OF DUAT!!!

---In [email protected], <sskyuu1111@... wrote:

Thanks for the answers!
I'm forcing myself to doing the meditations, I'll not give up. Once I've fully made my mind and became a little more powerful I will do the dedication ritual (I don't want to appear as a weakling before Satan .< so I'll continue this journey alone for a while (or should I say with my demon lover? ).

In regard to this problem (which I see is very common here, luckily not to the point of considering suicide); I've been trying all kind of methods to reduce my anxiety/fear/lack of self-confidence (one of these brought my interest in Satan and its guidance). The objective: control my thoughts and not be the slave of them.
I dunno if it's the right one but this is what I've done:
I've created like an astral thingy that devours every unwanted thought, image or bad energy that comes from or near me. So far it seems to work I just have to give it more energy (I mean every time a negative thought comes up I visualize it being devoured by this thingy and thus growing with it). Is it too childish? xD
This is a little hard but oh well.. this is all part of this journey of self-discovery right?
I hope I helped someone..

Thanks!

 

[sskyuu1111]

@iorost: Yes, I was very specific with it. In fact I've not made it powerful enough yet -not made the formal ritual yet- (I'm working on its sigil and other details -like the use of blood, elements, and values- but the idea is there). Basically I call it "The Plant" (ye quite lame name I'll come up with something better xD), its a being who is a product of my soul and is binded to me. I can put a seed (main sigil, main body) where I sleep and it'll protect me without me actually aware (that's a cool thing since I can't be visualizing while I sleep) and the secondary seeds to protect other places in case I need to (family, while doing my rituals in another place, etc). Every "Plant" is linked by their roots and their roots are linked to me so I can sever it whenever I want.
For now it's weak but once I've made the formal ritual I expect stronger results. I just want to feel clean before doing it .<
And actually I had fun designing it

---In [email protected], <brandonmoreno321@... wrote:

 You have not dedicated yet brother, and therefore you are greatly more open to enemy attacks.   The enemy uses any and all methods in order to instill you with fear, doubt, and confusion.  Your negative thoughts?  Anxiety? Fear?  Lacking of self confidence?  Everything screams enemy attacks.   You are dabbling in satanism.  Without dedicating to Satan, and jumping into these types of meditations, you are putting yourself up to these types of attacks. 
Currently ,the enemy is as desperate as ever.  They know they lost, and they will do everything they can to try and prevent any more gentiles awakening and coming to Father Satan.  Don't misunderstand me though, I'm not saying to blindly rush into dedicating to Father Satan.  When you dedicate, it has to be of your own free will.  You have to WANT to, not feel you are being forced to.


HAIL SATAN!!!HAL ALL THE GODS OF DUAT!!!

---In [email protected], <sskyuu1111@... wrote:

Thanks for the answers!
I'm forcing myself to doing the meditations, I'll not give up. Once I've fully made my mind and became a little more powerful I will do the dedication ritual (I don't want to appear as a weakling before Satan .< so I'll continue this journey alone for a while (or should I say with my demon lover? ).

In regard to this problem (which I see is very common here, luckily not to the point of considering suicide); I've been trying all kind of methods to reduce my anxiety/fear/lack of self-confidence (one of these brought my interest in Satan and its guidance). The objective: control my thoughts and not be the slave of them.
I dunno if it's the right one but this is what I've done:
I've created like an astral thingy that devours every unwanted thought, image or bad energy that comes from or near me. So far it seems to work I just have to give it more energy (I mean every time a negative thought comes up I visualize it being devoured by this thingy and thus growing with it). Is it too childish? xD
This is a little hard but oh well.. this is all part of this journey of self-discovery right?
I hope I helped someone..

Thanks!

 

[sskyuu1111]

@brandonmoreno321:Actually the very thought of being attacked kinda relieves me A LOT !! It encourages me even more to not give in and stand up to those f**** (they mad xD). I just wanted to take responsibility for this, but I dunno what to believe anymore (If I think "this is because X group is attacking me" I felt like escaping) but who knows.. after all this world is strange and infinite.
The thing is when I started with all this I had AMAZING experiences, my aura was as higher as ever and all of a sudden fear struck in and then all went downhill (I still have some "paranormal" experiences but it's not the same and feelings of self-blame, disappointment make their way in ). Yesterday I felt so bad not for me but for my succubus (who's always besides me) I don't want to disappoint her! D;
Like you said, I won't do the dedication until I'm fully ready Yep.. it might be hard but somehow I'll ward off these attacks or w/e it is and then proudly dedicate to Satan not out of hurry or need of protection but as a worthy apprentice.

最後まで戦ってみせる! ;D
Thanks again!

---In [email protected], <[email protected] wrote:

 You have not dedicated yet brother, and therefore you are greatly more open to enemy attacks.   The enemy uses any and all methods in order to instill you with fear, doubt, and confusion.  Your negative thoughts?  Anxiety? Fear?  Lacking of self confidence?  Everything screams enemy attacks.   You are dabbling in satanism.  Without dedicating to Satan, and jumping into these types of meditations, you are putting yourself up to these types of attacks. 
Currently ,the enemy is as desperate as ever.  They know they lost, and they will do everything they can to try and prevent any more gentiles awakening and coming to Father Satan.  Don't misunderstand me though, I'm not saying to blindly rush into dedicating to Father Satan.  When you dedicate, it has to be of your own free will.  You have to WANT to, not feel you are being forced to.


HAIL SATAN!!!HAL ALL THE GODS OF DUAT!!!

---In [email protected], <sskyuu1111@... wrote:

Thanks for the answers!
I'm forcing myself to doing the meditations, I'll not give up. Once I've fully made my mind and became a little more powerful I will do the dedication ritual (I don't want to appear as a weakling before Satan .< so I'll continue this journey alone for a while (or should I say with my demon lover? ).

In regard to this problem (which I see is very common here, luckily not to the point of considering suicide); I've been trying all kind of methods to reduce my anxiety/fear/lack of self-confidence (one of these brought my interest in Satan and its guidance). The objective: control my thoughts and not be the slave of them.
I dunno if it's the right one but this is what I've done:
I've created like an astral thingy that devours every unwanted thought, image or bad energy that comes from or near me. So far it seems to work I just have to give it more energy (I mean every time a negative thought comes up I visualize it being devoured by this thingy and thus growing with it). Is it too childish? xD
This is a little hard but oh well.. this is all part of this journey of self-discovery right?
I hope I helped someone..

Thanks!

 

[Deborah Rivera]

I don't think its childish,u actually helped me !!!Ill take that idea in consideration...Im struggling w tha same problem...


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On Mon, Oct 7, 2013 3:04 AM EDT sskyuu1111@... wrote:


 
Thanks for the answers! I'm forcing myself to doing the meditations, I'll not give up. Once I've fully made my mind and became a little more powerful I will do the dedication ritual (I don't want to appear as a weakling before Satan .< so I'll continue this journey alone for a while (or should I say with my demon lover? ). In regard to this problem (which I see is very common here, luckily not to the point of considering suicide); I've been trying all kind of methods to reduce my anxiety/fear/lack of self-confidence (one of these brought my interest in Satan and its guidance). The objective: control my thoughts and not be the slave of them. I dunno if it's the right one but this is what I've done: I've created like an astral thingy that devours every unwanted thought, image or bad energy that comes from or near me. So far it seems to work I just have to give it more energy (I mean every time a negative thought comes up I visualize it being devoured
by this thingy and thus growing with it). Is it too childish? xD This is a little hard but oh well.. this is all part of this journey of self-discovery right? I hope I helped someone.. Thanks!