SonOfSatan666
New member
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2017
- Messages
- 37
Hi everyone.
I avoided writing this for a really long time, as I was fixated with "having to solve this alone", but I actually need some advice.
Trying to keep it brief, I find some pretty huge difficulty in carrying on with activities in life, long-term activities, which are important to me or my future, such as meditation, RTRs, yoga, creative writing, playing guitar, working out, studying (my university career as been dragged on for an awful lot of time) and social activities. Almost anything, actually. I also have difficulties going to bed; not falling asleep, actually going to bed.
I try to be consistent, and with some stuff I succeed: work out when I can; daily basic meditation like void, AoP and cleaning; not that consistent with RTRs, especially the ones that are not the F-RTR, some times I do it every day, on rare occasions I follow the complete schedule and sometimes I skip for weeks; the most I have been consistent with Hatha yoga is 30-something days, but when I happen to skip, I stay months without it; studying has become one of the heaviest things to do, even when I totally enjoy the subject. This should be enough explanation.
I don't know what the fuck I've got to do to get out of this situation, I've done freeing the soul workings, a lot of them, nothing seems to really change, as if there is always another layer to this block, I've done therapy as I was heavily depressed in the last 2 years, it got to the point where i actually considered killing myself, because i can't stand not being able to do stuff even though I want to.
It actually became a long rant, but I wanted to give as much information as possible. How do I end this?
I avoided writing this for a really long time, as I was fixated with "having to solve this alone", but I actually need some advice.
Trying to keep it brief, I find some pretty huge difficulty in carrying on with activities in life, long-term activities, which are important to me or my future, such as meditation, RTRs, yoga, creative writing, playing guitar, working out, studying (my university career as been dragged on for an awful lot of time) and social activities. Almost anything, actually. I also have difficulties going to bed; not falling asleep, actually going to bed.
I try to be consistent, and with some stuff I succeed: work out when I can; daily basic meditation like void, AoP and cleaning; not that consistent with RTRs, especially the ones that are not the F-RTR, some times I do it every day, on rare occasions I follow the complete schedule and sometimes I skip for weeks; the most I have been consistent with Hatha yoga is 30-something days, but when I happen to skip, I stay months without it; studying has become one of the heaviest things to do, even when I totally enjoy the subject. This should be enough explanation.
I don't know what the fuck I've got to do to get out of this situation, I've done freeing the soul workings, a lot of them, nothing seems to really change, as if there is always another layer to this block, I've done therapy as I was heavily depressed in the last 2 years, it got to the point where i actually considered killing myself, because i can't stand not being able to do stuff even though I want to.
It actually became a long rant, but I wanted to give as much information as possible. How do I end this?