Welcome to our New Forums!

Our forums have been upgraded and expanded!

my sexual orientation

golkr2

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2025
Messages
3
Hello! I would like to ask a very personal question. I can't determine my orientation. For a long time, I often watched pornography, of a completely different kind. Now I feel confused, I don't understand how I feel. Could pornography have corrupted my mind that much? I'm a teenager. I'm a guy, I don't look feminine, I play sports. By the way, as soon as I stop watching pornography, after a while, it seems to me, my consciousness returns to normal and I am sure that I am straight. Please, just give me some advice on how to fully understand myself.
 
Now I feel confused, I don't understand how I feel. Could pornography have corrupted my mind that much?

Pornography DOES these things: it confuses you. At your age it was the same with me, I was extremely confused by the thing and by what it appeared to me; that is, all kinds of things within the reach of a click and the manager of the porn site expects you to experience your sexuality in those ways, but there are really so many in a confusing way and you will not be the one to spontaneously choose one of these, simply an algorithm within the reach of a click.

My best advice is this: you are understanding yourself more in this period, this is the teenager section, so if you write here you are in the phase in which you want to understand yourself better. And it is a good thing, necessary and will be crucially useful for you to grow (this will be the beginning of becoming the best version of yourself when you grow up, it is not unrelated).

Precisely for this reason, experience sexuality as it comes naturally to you, try to understand what you want, in reality, in your deepest desires, etc. Not what the algorithm proposes to you in a totally perverse and unrealistic way: sexuality is a healthy thing. Don't let a porn site ruin it. :)
 
Hello! I would like to ask a very personal question. I can't determine my orientation. For a long time, I often watched pornography, of a completely different kind. Now I feel confused, I don't understand how I feel. Could pornography have corrupted my mind that much? I'm a teenager. I'm a guy, I don't look feminine, I play sports. By the way, as soon as I stop watching pornography, after a while, it seems to me, my consciousness returns to normal and I am sure that I am straight. Please, just give me some advice on how to fully understand myself.
Porn can warp your mind and make you aroused by things that you ordinarily wouldn't, even things that are unnatural. It's very unhealthy.

If you don't imagine yourself in romance with men in daily life then you're most likely not gay. On the other hand, it could be that you have androphile inclinations buried somewhere within and porn brings this out.

You have to get to know yourself outside the context of porn to understand if this is really the case.

You don't have to be a sissy to be gay, alot of the gays are macho men. Try to free yourself from porn.
 
If you're young, it's extremely important to stay away from porn, because your mind is still developing.
 
Hello! I would like to ask a very personal question. I can't determine my orientation. For a long time, I often watched pornography, of a completely different kind. Now I feel confused, I don't understand how I feel. Could pornography have corrupted my mind that much? I'm a teenager. I'm a guy, I don't look feminine, I play sports. By the way, as soon as I stop watching pornography, after a while, it seems to me, my consciousness returns to normal and I am sure that I am straight. Please, just give me some advice on how to fully understand myself.
I'm not a teen but this matter hits close enough for home that I hope to offer some insight.

Being "fem" doesn't make one having anything other than they have that trait. The association with various traits to other traits and aspects of ones self is of the enemy, not of our people. If you have wide hips and "large breasts" (a wide torso for a male is in fact 'wide breasts' and you can look at anime drawings and such to see wide breasts and narrow waist is done for everyone; Goku/most Anime women have the same 'build same with superman (((the character superman is an enemy invention if you didn't know and it was to show immigrants can be good for the west/better than the natives: a laughable notion))) and Wonder Women) is just that a trait. It's like saying foot, earlobe, nail and or nose size determine how much wealth your gonna have in your life or your sperm count. I mean at the higher levels of learning I'm sure various things can appear as such but you should see my point quite well. This billion different dissections into a billion different terms into a nonsensical amount of info leads to pointless obsessions and worry and is literally a psychic assault on our peoples confidence and wellbeing.

Plus maybe you're Bisexual? Maybe it's just 'dirty and kinky' to you in which case you're more than likely just into women but getting turned on 'by what you see as wrong' and or maybe 'bad for you.' That 'wrong' angle can also just be homophobia turned into a sexual fetish because things that are 'dirty and wrong' can be a turn on with damage to your sacral Chakra. It can also stem from a messed up Throat Chakra, Heart Chakra, and or Solar Chakra due to self hatred/self loathing. There is also emotional body damage and no matter what you should do https://ancient-forums.com/threads/...body-for-men-too-don’t-disregard-this.292496/ this meditation even if you don't think you have any problems because better to handle it now than run into a roadblock when you're on a roll of progress. jos-astro.com/#/astro-calendars Will tell you about the next best time for. There is also a freeing the soul working to get rid of all not true sexual desires that can aid in this.

After all just think to yourself: do you feel grossed out by it or do you enjoy it just for the fact you enjoy it? And either way having real experience can tell you many things regardless of thoughts and if you wanna 'experiment' or just roll with it you can. There is no harm in having a sexual experience that teaches you something about yourself. It's not gross weird or anything but a learning experience. Nothing wrong with the fact you like it either or found something out about yourself because the only goal is to find if it's the real you or if it's something being forced upon you.

However the enemy has a vested interest in keep all our birth rates down, especially Aryans, so when and if you get the chance make a family regardless of if you also enjoy males go for it. I myself believe my ideal partnership is going to be with a male and a female so I might be a Father and pass on my Father Satans genes onto a new generation and also help teach a 'new soul' Satanic ways in the sense of giving them a foundation to really build themselves up. Our faith is self evident and I want to give someone the chance I never had. Far far down the line for me though because I have a great deal of work on myself before hand, and never be fooled by the idea that children are anything but the highest honor and deepest sacrifice. Far to many want to have children like they want puppies. I morn so often seeing children who are unwanted by their young Aryan mothers out in public. They act with pure contempt to the child as if they asked to be born.

Anyways I hope this gives you a nice basis and understanding that obsession is never a good thing. Neurotic behavior is necrotic behavior and very much is akin to the uroboro symbol. Take a moment to study it and think on it and how it represents mental emotional aspects of ones self. If you want more aid message here and I will guide with what little I know (about that single aspect). I only ask for you to study it yourself on your own so you might come to the inspiration and knowledge yourself, and mayhapst you will feel your Guardian helping to guide you. Ask for them, even if you can't hear or see them, by saying "To my Guardian Demon in Satan" [ than ask and say what you will ]. Be open honest and earnest with yourself and than. Also remember that 'our minds play tricks' on us and that by using meditation (Void especially) you can understand what is what you want/are coming up with and is actual inspiration from a higher power.

Well wishes and good luck on your endeavor. May you enjoy yourself and your journey of self discovery and find the deepest greatest pleasure in loving yourself in all ways and by finding out who you truly are may you find the truest most steadfast friend in yourself.
 
Hello! I would like to ask a very personal question. I can't determine my orientation. For a long time, I often watched pornography, of a completely different kind. Now I feel confused, I don't understand how I feel. Could pornography have corrupted my mind that much? I'm a teenager. I'm a guy, I don't look feminine, I play sports. By the way, as soon as I stop watching pornography, after a while, it seems to me, my consciousness returns to normal and I am sure that I am straight. Please, just give me some advice on how to fully understand myself.
Whatever sexual orientiation you are it's fine. It seems you are scared to be something else than straight. Spiritual Satanism wants everyone to be free to be themselves, even because the Kundalini requires you to be free from any sexual problems to raise. You are young, you'll figure it out with time. Just be open minded. Porn in general is not good whatever you are straight or not. Try your best to stay away from it.
 
I'm not a teen but this matter hits close enough for home that I hope to offer some insight.

Being "fem" doesn't make one having anything other than they have that trait. The association with various traits to other traits and aspects of ones self is of the enemy, not of our people. If you have wide hips and "large breasts" (a wide torso for a male is in fact 'wide breasts' and you can look at anime drawings and such to see wide breasts and narrow waist is done for everyone; Goku/most Anime women have the same 'build same with superman (((the character superman is an enemy invention if you didn't know and it was to show immigrants can be good for the west/better than the natives: a laughable notion))) and Wonder Women) is just that a trait. It's like saying foot, earlobe, nail and or nose size determine how much wealth your gonna have in your life or your sperm count. I mean at the higher levels of learning I'm sure various things can appear as such but you should see my point quite well. This billion different dissections into a billion different terms into a nonsensical amount of info leads to pointless obsessions and worry and is literally a psychic assault on our peoples confidence and wellbeing.

Plus maybe you're Bisexual? Maybe it's just 'dirty and kinky' to you in which case you're more than likely just into women but getting turned on 'by what you see as wrong' and or maybe 'bad for you.' That 'wrong' angle can also just be homophobia turned into a sexual fetish because things that are 'dirty and wrong' can be a turn on with damage to your sacral Chakra. It can also stem from a messed up Throat Chakra, Heart Chakra, and or Solar Chakra due to self hatred/self loathing. There is also emotional body damage and no matter what you should do https://ancient-forums.com/threads/...body-for-men-too-don’t-disregard-this.292496/ this meditation even if you don't think you have any problems because better to handle it now than run into a roadblock when you're on a roll of progress. jos-astro.com/#/astro-calendars Will tell you about the next best time for. There is also a freeing the soul working to get rid of all not true sexual desires that can aid in this.

After all just think to yourself: do you feel grossed out by it or do you enjoy it just for the fact you enjoy it? And either way having real experience can tell you many things regardless of thoughts and if you wanna 'experiment' or just roll with it you can. There is no harm in having a sexual experience that teaches you something about yourself. It's not gross weird or anything but a learning experience. Nothing wrong with the fact you like it either or found something out about yourself because the only goal is to find if it's the real you or if it's something being forced upon you.

However the enemy has a vested interest in keep all our birth rates down, especially Aryans, so when and if you get the chance make a family regardless of if you also enjoy males go for it. I myself believe my ideal partnership is going to be with a male and a female so I might be a Father and pass on my Father Satans genes onto a new generation and also help teach a 'new soul' Satanic ways in the sense of giving them a foundation to really build themselves up. Our faith is self evident and I want to give someone the chance I never had. Far far down the line for me though because I have a great deal of work on myself before hand, and never be fooled by the idea that children are anything but the highest honor and deepest sacrifice. Far to many want to have children like they want puppies. I morn so often seeing children who are unwanted by their young Aryan mothers out in public. They act with pure contempt to the child as if they asked to be born.

Anyways I hope this gives you a nice basis and understanding that obsession is never a good thing. Neurotic behavior is necrotic behavior and very much is akin to the uroboro symbol. Take a moment to study it and think on it and how it represents mental emotional aspects of ones self. If you want more aid message here and I will guide with what little I know (about that single aspect). I only ask for you to study it yourself on your own so you might come to the inspiration and knowledge yourself, and mayhapst you will feel your Guardian helping to guide you. Ask for them, even if you can't hear or see them, by saying "To my Guardian Demon in Satan" [ than ask and say what you will ]. Be open honest and earnest with yourself and than. Also remember that 'our minds play tricks' on us and that by using meditation (Void especially) you can understand what is what you want/are coming up with and is actual inspiration from a higher power.

Well wishes and good luck on your endeavor. May you enjoy yourself and your journey of self discovery and find the deepest greatest pleasure in loving yourself in all ways and by finding out who you truly are may you find the truest most steadfast friend in yourself.
Thank you. You wrote about hating yourself. It's true, the complexes of my appearance haunted me, I still have complexes, but not so much anymore. You know, at one point, I talked more with girls than with guys. I began to realize that this is how gay people behave, because it's easier for them to talk to someone who doesn't attract them. But over time, I realized that I was just afraid of being weak among other guys. I considered myself weak and feeble. Then there was pornography, which made itself felt after many years of addiction. All this confused me, can you tell me about meditations? Thank you!
 
Pornography DOES these things: it confuses you. At your age it was the same with me, I was extremely confused by the thing and by what it appeared to me; that is, all kinds of things within the reach of a click and the manager of the porn site expects you to experience your sexuality in those ways, but there are really so many in a confusing way and you will not be the one to spontaneously choose one of these, simply an algorithm within the reach of a click.

My best advice is this: you are understanding yourself more in this period, this is the teenager section, so if you write here you are in the phase in which you want to understand yourself better. And it is a good thing, necessary and will be crucially useful for you to grow (this will be the beginning of becoming the best version of yourself when you grow up, it is not unrelated).

Precisely for this reason, experience sexuality as it comes naturally to you, try to understand what you want, in reality, in your deepest desires, etc. Not what the algorithm proposes to you in a totally perverse and unrealistic way: sexuality is a healthy thing. Don't let a porn site ruin it. :)
Hello, thank you! To be honest, no one imagined myself in a romantic relationship with a man. It scares me that pornography has really made my mind more depraved. I do not know how to deal with this and fully realize myself.
 
I do not know how to deal with this and fully realize myself.

Once you stop using pornography, you will not only detox from it, but also detox from its effects. It is like a horror movie that traumatizes you. If you watch a horror movie every night, you will be traumatized every night, but if you stop watching this genre, you will even forget the plots of what you watched.

Just focus on feeling yourself. Don't think about "what did I actually feel watching that video?", try to feel yourself, what you really feel. It's really normal that it's difficult for you now, because it's the period you're coming into contact with. Once the period is over, you might have a much clearer vision and you'll definitely be more sexually mature.
 
Thank you. You wrote about hating yourself. It's true, the complexes of my appearance haunted me, I still have complexes, but not so much anymore. You know, at one point, I talked more with girls than with guys. I began to realize that this is how gay people behave, because it's easier for them to talk to someone who doesn't attract them. But over time, I realized that I was just afraid of being weak among other guys. I considered myself weak and feeble. Then there was pornography, which made itself felt after many years of addiction. All this confused me, can you tell me about meditations? Thank you!
Sure

For freeing the soul there is

A very important one that lets us unburned ourselves from our self inflicted bindings, bindings others have placed on us and Karmic seeds. Emotions bind us and cause a great deal of self harm and so to lead into the next thing...


Emotions like self hatred and unsureness follow us deeply. Maybe you find yourself lacking? I know when I was heavier-set between that and not understanding my own proportions I felt a great deal of 'penis shame:' and I know I'm not the only male with it. Many of us feel not well endowed enough, not masculine enough, and not strong enough but truth of it is that these are traits and nothing is forever. Also for the gentiles aspect you should know most women are literally not able to handle very large sizes no matter what porn tells you. Vaginal tearing is awful and as a male who has been with other males let me tell you size is NOT a good thing.

As far as muscles and the like that comes in time and in truth a powerful Yoga body is far healthier and sexier than someone who looks like they did all the roids: and for the fact you talk with more girls that isn't a gay male trait only. Males who are considered 8/9's and 10's all have far more girls they talk with then males because those women throw themselves at them. Granted you shouldn't seek to dispose of anyone and you should respect yourself to have high standards. After all the quality of someones soul and truest self is far more important than ones outward appearance, but I digress.


This is the meditation that allows us to learn ourselves, our thoughts, our damage, and more about what and how we think. Are you arrogant? Maybe you 'spaz out'. Do you just daydream a lot? Finding out why and how it relates to ones self is of the upmost importance in ones own life. ( Astrology builds more on this jos-astro.com and you can learn a lot from yourself: NEVER EVER IN YOUR LIFE EVER SHARE YOUR PLACEMENTS AT ALL! There are 'exceptions' but that is all for special circumstances that most would never EVER go into. This info can literally kill you, and no I'm not joking. Energy is about timing and a single well placed snipers bolt to your life will ruin it or make you wish it was over.)

For you just ask yourself in a quite place alone "why do I enjoy other men?" And think on it long and hard and know that traits are traits. Do you just like another males butt: ok than. So? Does your world view of knowing you enjoy chicken ruin the eating of apples? Not at all and the truth of life is so much less ridged than what we cling too.

Think of life like this, those who praise only being in 'the light' fear the dark because there is nothing to cling too. In the Darkness, alone with yourself you have to find purpose and meaning in earnest. Why and how have far more meaning when one is adrift and the truth is people anchor themselves to whatever is easier to make as a 'port in the storm' rather than what really has meaning. Why? It's easy. Things like a healthy family and upwards positive momentum are meaningful but hard: yet the rewarding things always are.

A sexual crisis is important because this can teach you about yourself but at the same time on the other end you will also find out that it didn't really 'matter.' Life is like looking at a bowl of soup. Does each ingredient matter less than the 'sum of its parts:' aka what people call it? No, it in fact matters the most because that is what makes it what it is.

Maybe you do also enjoy males or maybe this is just a fetish you've gotten into. Try to explore your body in a healthy way alone with just your mind; what do you come up with? Do you find that 'sissies' are all that get you off and if so why? What is a 'sissy'? Is it a fail male to you and if so why do you enjoy that? Do you like well formed guys? Skater boys? The list goes on and on and truly be critical of each aspect in a plain way without worry. When you get to the 'root' of things you might have a better understanding of yourself and why and if the whys seem gross than ask what makes them gross. If it is just the likely of males that is enemy programming but the harmful things will be gross.

As far as the uroboros symbol it is a snake devouring itself. Like all meaningful symbols it has many, many layers, but for emotional distress it's pretty self evident https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouroboros#/media/File:Serpiente_alquimica.jpg

Aside from that if you wanna talk and discuss I'm open to you messaging here as much as you'd like. This is a subject I can handle if it is something you wish to go into more. Take a nice slow easy deep breath and know that you have no reason to be hard on yourself for anything you enjoy so long as it is healthy and it's actually 'you' that wants it.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

Back
Top