My Journey Back to Spiritual Satanism

[Andrarxes]

Today, I feel intensely blessed and deeply grateful to have made my way back to Satanism, paganism, and spirituality in general. About four years ago, I had left Satanism and was in spiritual deadlock Before then, I had done my Dedication Ritual to the All Father sometime in 2015 or 2016. I was incredibly blessed and gifted with my skill in meditation, magick, manifestation, and overall joy and vigor for life. I had tight control over my life and the spaces in which I occupied. Looking back, I suppose I was motivated by fear and X-ian propaganda to leave. A good friend of mine had committed suicide after he and I got into an intense fight about six years ago, and in some ways I blamed magick and Demons for his loss. Foolish, but here we are. I regret ever giving it up, as I have lost a few years of what could have been exponential growth and progress.

In that span of time I had left Satanism, a great deal of destruction and damage unfolded upon my life. I slipped deeply into abusing alcohol and other drugs and was completely directionless spiritually. My mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health plummeted greatly and I was deeply depressed most days. I would still practice magick here and there with results, but in hindsight I only ever really used it during this time period as a band-aid for my much bigger issues going on internally. In truth, some of these manifestations also led to my further undoing as I did not properly appreciate the fruits of my craft, and my mind was more interested and possessed with the obsession of my addictions.

My addiction issues eventually got the better of me and landed me in some serious legal trouble last year and I nearly lost everything as a result, including my life. During the time I got in trouble to when I was sentenced, I was still under the influence of enemy propaganda that the nazarene would somehow help me out of this situation and turn my life around. As usual, there was little fleeting comfort from this. I believe my mind was reaching for this out of desperation from childhood. I was incredibly desperate, with some incredibly desperate magickal workings to go along with it. None of them worked, but I am grateful they didn't. Now that the "fog of war" from the stress of court dates is gone, I realize that this is the path I had to take in order to get back on track to where I am now. There simply was no other way. It is just the way my Wyrd was spun by the Fates.

As a result of my legal problems, I spent a little over three months in jail. And what a blessing in disguise that was. I was able to sober up completely and stay sober and rediscover my blood religion within, crying out to help me. I began meditating every day while I was in, working out every day, reading, etc... I lost 40lbs on top of it, but gained my spirituality back. I made a few earnest and honest decisions in there about how I will never again allow myself to become so mentally weak that I fall for silly and powerless fearmongering from the enemy religion, and how my life is now renewed in its fierce dedication to Father Wotan and the Gods. By the next day, I was approached by others in there who are pagan that came to give me the Havamal and other literature on meditation. I witnessed the very real and direct effect of my meditations (such as AoP) in there on others who had wronged me in some way, and the total absolution of all of my despair, grief, and anxiety over my relatively unfortunate (but fleeting) situation. In short, I felt completely rejuvenated and empowered once again after seeing how easy it was for me to simply pick back up meditation and my loyalty and devotion to Father and the Gods.

Not only did I gain my spirituality back, but I regained my entire life back. My nice, comfortable, and very well paying career decided to keep me when I got out. Father Satan lifted my mind and purified it of its addictions totally. It is so extremely peculiar, as I have tried countless times to get sober and failed every time. Yet, this time around, my mind and soul have been completely freed from the obsession, cravings, anxiety, restless irritability and discontentment that comes with sobriety normally. I have never felt so free and joyous in my life before, and this is a high I have been riding since my time while incarcerated to now. It is simply here to stay, and I express my gratitude to Father and the Gods daily for this newfound strength and freedom.

That being said, I have been envigored with what feels like an entirely brand new life and set of tools to pick back up where I left off several years ago (somewhat). I truly believe that I was spared and shown some mercy because the Gods have bigger plans for me and really wish to see me succeed. Father Satan and the Gods have all of my love, devotion, and gratitude for all eternity. Though I performed it nearly ten years ago, the Dedication Ritual is truly a permanent and binding spiritual contract. I received a hard and swift kick in the ass from the justice system, but I believe this was Father's way of showing tough love and setting me back on the right path. I see the signs, synchronicities, and feel the energy every single day that give me the nod that I am walking the correct path once again. I am just thankful I only strayed for a little while and did not go as far to do some foolish unbinding ritual.

With that being said, I have a bit of catching up to do. I will be redoing the 40-day meditation program even though I was once well practiced with these meditations. Dear Brothers and Sisters, if any new programs for meditations have been released, please do share. Out of all of the meditation techniques I have tried in my time, none simply compare to what we do. All else feels like silly bullshit, and I would love to see if any new techniques have been divined. Additionally, I have dusted off a book on astrology that has been neglected for years as this is a topic I have come to believe must be mastered by all of us. Any and all resources you could think of to possibly help me get back up to speed would be deeply appreciated.

Thank you for reading.
Hail Satan!
Hail the Gods!

 

[HPS Lydia]

Welcome back to the JoS, and congratulations on getting your life back and in order!

There have been many posts here and in Satan's Library on the JoS for you to catch up on. We also have God Rituals now, these will help you grow closer to our Gods and strengthen your soul.

 

[AFODO]

I'm very happy for you. This must have given you a lot of life experience. Sometimes we have to experience the bad side of life to truly appreciate to good side of it.

The 40 day meditation program is still the standard for beginners, however, the opening the chakra meditations have been updated. You can look them up on joyofsatan.org and do that version instead of what is in the PDF. Or if your chakras remained intact, you can do the full chakra meditation right away, or after the opening otherwise.

About astrology, you could study the transits you went trough in these time.

I wish the bests for you.

 

[Hellenic SS]

Welcome back!

 

[xScorpionPriestessx]

This was a pleasure to read, thank you for sharing. As a recovered addict myself, I definitely resonate with your struggles AND your triumphs OVER said struggles, it's truly beautiful.
My addiction was particularly violent and LONG, and after years of trying and failing, I finally got sober; but several months into my sobriety, I was still struggling with cravings. Then, around the 5 month sober mark, my life long bestfriend passed away tragically from an OD after she herself had been sober for a couple months, then slipped up ONCE and it cost her everything.
In times of turmoil, there always is a silver lining. Looking back on her passing now, at 4 years sober, I realize now that if she hadn't lost her life in the way she did, I more than likely would have relapsed again, and it very well could've been me who lost their life. I know that sounds weird, almost like I'm saying she was sacrificed as a lesson to me, but that's not what I mean; what I mean is this; this woman was my best friend, like we went through everything together from the ages of 5 on up into early adulthood. She was the other half to my soul, so when she died, especially in the way she did, it profoundly impacted my reality, as well as severely shifted my focus and view of drugs in general. After losing her like that, I made a pact with myself that I would never touch another drug. I couldn't leave behind my loves ones, not after seeing the sheer devastation of what it did to my bestfriends family. When we as people are suffering from any affliction, but especially one such as addiction (that is as much of a choice as it is a detrimental disease), we tend to lose sight of what matters most to us. We become selfish and relentless in our pursuit for said vice. It'll turn a person into someone that their loved ones no longer recognize.
I say all this to say, I am extremely proud of you for realizing your faults, and for being self aware enough to jump back in the driver seat of your life, and take charge. You, singlehandedly, beat addictions ass and stood over the ashes of your former self. Yes, the Gods give us nudges in the correct direction, but ONLY if you show initiative and truly are trying to course-correct your faults.

Welcome back home, Brother; you are most welcome here. So happy for you!

 

[Andrarxes]

Welcome back!

It's good to be back! Setting up my altar and crystals once again is a joy with a brand new table and take on life (I highly recommend getting a shungite stone, they're incredibly powerful and you can feel the energy breathing off of it with your skin). What a difference total sobriety makes in my meditations and mental and spiritual sharpness.

 

[Andrarxes]

This was a pleasure to read, thank you for sharing. As a recovered addict myself, I definitely resonate with your struggles AND your triumphs OVER said struggles, it's truly beautiful.
My addiction was particularly violent and LONG, and after years of trying and failing, I finally got sober; but several months into my sobriety, I was still struggling with cravings. Then, around the 5 month sober mark, my life long bestfriend passed away tragically from an OD after she herself had been sober for a couple months, then slipped up ONCE and it cost her everything.
In times of turmoil, there always is a silver lining. Looking back on her passing now, at 4 years sober, I realize now that if she hadn't lost her life in the way she did, I more than likely would have relapsed again, and it very well could've been me who lost their life. I know that sounds weird, almost like I'm saying she was sacrificed as a lesson to me, but that's not what I mean; what I mean is this; this woman was my best friend, like we went through everything together from the ages of 5 on up into early adulthood. She was the other half to my soul, so when she died, especially in the way she did, it profoundly impacted my reality, as well as severely shifted my focus and view of drugs in general. After losing her like that, I made a pact with myself that I would never touch another drug. I couldn't leave behind my loves ones, not after seeing the sheer devastation of what it did to my bestfriends family. When we as people are suffering from any affliction, but especially one such as addiction (that is as much of a choice as it is a detrimental disease), we tend to lose sight of what matters most to us. We become selfish and relentless in our pursuit for said vice. It'll turn a person into someone that their loved ones no longer recognize.
I say all this to say, I am extremely proud of you for realizing your faults, and for being self aware enough to jump back in the driver seat of your life, and take charge. You, singlehandedly, beat addictions ass and stood over the ashes of your former self. Yes, the Gods give us nudges in the correct direction, but ONLY if you show initiative and truly are trying to course-correct your faults.

Welcome back home, Brother; you are most welcome here. So happy for you!

Thank you for sharing that as well, I rejoice for those of us in recovery who have truly seen the evil and darkness that addiction brings. I particularly resonated with you about how you lost your best friend. I lost mine to suicide which thrust me deeper into my addiction and disconnect with my spirituality. Losing him was extremely devastating and like a spiritual nuclear bomb that affected hundreds of people, and similar to you I knew I could never do anything like suicide because of how it affects your loved ones. I only hope I see him again, he pops up in my dreams from time to time. In fact he was in my dreams a ton while I was incarcerated. There's a lot more to it that would beg it's own post. But yeah, proud of you as well, and I am happy to be back. It feels right.

 

[HPS Lydia]

I only hope I see him again, he pops up in my dreams from time to time. In fact he was in my dreams a ton while I was incarcerated.

You will see him again. Our loved ones, including best friends, are linked to us, and we come back to each other in our next lives. You might be best friends again, or brothers, or close cousins, for example.

They also visit us astrally, until they incarnate again. So if you were dreaming of him a lot, then he may have been trying to give you some emotional support while you were incarcerated. There is far more to life, than just what happens here on the material realm.

 

[Olympios666]

Welcome back to Jos this warrior spirit you have developed through the hardships you have gone through in your life is like gold. Only those who have been to the depths can reach the heights

 

[Andrarxes]

Welcome back to Jos this warrior spirit you have developed through the hardships you have gone through in your life is like gold. Only those who have been to the depths can reach the heights

Indeed. I am far more strong, resolute and steeled from what I've endured. I have no tolerance for weakness or excuses in my life anymore. Just total victory over my life, nothing less.

 

[Alicia666]

Welcome back brother, I too left jos after 1 year of dedication in 2017 because I didn’t read a lot on the jos website and I was in the jos facebook group I got sidetracked by a new comer there and one thing lead to another and I left jos, I was also in the yahoo groups then too but back in the yahoo group it wasn’t as good as this forum, there wasn’t a good interaction happening there so we are so lucky to have this forum now and all the extra sermons and updates of jos
I came back to Jo’s this year In March so I was away for about 7 years and after leaving my life went downhill too, I was in and out of the Christian denominations, lots of things went wrong, slave mentality was in full swing, health deteriorated, lots of problems with family and friends nothing good lasted, so last year in December 2023 was so fed up with this downhill problematic life furious with anger I denounced the Abrahamic religions once and for all, I decided I will be a deist now one who believes in a creator God but not religion, and in the new year 2024 I was reading something on Ea Enki again which I read about him years ago and some how on a google search I read HP HDCobra666 writing about something and he mentioned jos and I remembered jos cause in that 7 years I totally forgotten jos, and so I quickly went back to the website and started rereading from jos and this time my mind was clear of everything lie I was taught, I came to the forum in March this year and then started my meditations, then the RTRs and God rituals and my life started to get better in every way, I also regret leaving jos in 2017 because this 7 years loss I could have reached intermediate level on meditations but I’m in beginner level, but I’m so grateful Father Satan never gave up on me, maybe I had to learn the hard way by falling so hard on my ass. Yes you are correct the dedication ritual is permanent and we do belong to Father Satan, those who dedicate to Father Satan and leave will usually come back
So welcome back I’m sure there is many of us who left and came back

Hail Satanas

 

[Seeker in the Dark]

You will see him again. Our loved ones, including best friends, are linked to us, and we come back to each other in our next lives. You might be best friends again, or brothers, or close cousins, for example.

They also visit us astrally, until they incarnate again. So if you were dreaming of him a lot, then he may have been trying to give you some emotional support while you were incarcerated. There is far more to life, than just what happens here on the material realm.

Uhm, any ways to energetically seperate from my family?

I don’t want to spend another lifetime with these souls ever again thank you very much.
They are so unlike me it’s beyond belief I’m even related to them.

 

[HPS Lydia]

Uhm, any ways to energetically seperate from my family?

I don’t want to spend another lifetime with these souls ever again thank you very much.
They are so unlike me it’s beyond belief I’m even related to them.

If you're not very close to them then you probably won't be connected to them in your next life. The Gods oversee these things, especially as you advance.

We incarnate into our families for a reason. Perhaps you inherited some talent from a grandparent or great-grandparent then, which meant you had to incarnate into your family line in order to match them.

A lot of younger people think they are nothing like their parents, and then as they age, they realize similarities. Young people don't always notice subtleties. And young people tend to see their parents as just parents in their role as authority, rather than seeing them as individuals.

 

[Andrarxes]

Welcome back brother, I too left jos after 1 year of dedication in 2017 because I didn’t read a lot on the jos website and I was in the jos facebook group I got sidetracked by a new comer there and one thing lead to another and I left jos, I was also in the yahoo groups then too but back in the yahoo group it wasn’t as good as this forum, there wasn’t a good interaction happening there so we are so lucky to have this forum now and all the extra sermons and updates of jos
I came back to Jo’s this year In March so I was away for about 7 years and after leaving my life went downhill too, I was in and out of the Christian denominations, lots of things went wrong, slave mentality was in full swing, health deteriorated, lots of problems with family and friends nothing good lasted, so last year in December 2023 was so fed up with this downhill problematic life furious with anger I denounced the Abrahamic religions once and for all, I decided I will be a deist now one who believes in a creator God but not religion, and in the new year 2024 I was reading something on Ea Enki again which I read about him years ago and some how on a google search I read HP HDCobra666 writing about something and he mentioned jos and I remembered jos cause in that 7 years I totally forgotten jos, and so I quickly went back to the website and started rereading from jos and this time my mind was clear of everything lie I was taught, I came to the forum in March this year and then started my meditations, then the RTRs and God rituals and my life started to get better in every way, I also regret leaving jos in 2017 because this 7 years loss I could have reached intermediate level on meditations but I’m in beginner level, but I’m so grateful Father Satan never gave up on me, maybe I had to learn the hard way by falling so hard on my ass. Yes you are correct the dedication ritual is permanent and we do belong to Father Satan, those who dedicate to Father Satan and leave will usually come back
So welcome back I’m sure there is many of us who left and came back

Hail Satanas

Hail Wotan! Isn't it such a comfort that He lead us back? I'm touched by your story and glad that I'm not the only one who experienced the same period of delusion. When I made that decision in my jail cell to forever leave the abrahamic mind virus, I felt incredibly empowered and knew that I made the right decision.

I'm excited to see how I grow in this new chapter of my life. We will have plenty of time to regrow what we lost. I may be back at somewhat of a beginner level, but already everything is coming back far more quickly and right this time since my mind is completely sober and not polluted by intoxicants. The Gods have shared with me a few helpful tips in my meditations and advice for specific life situations.

Hail Satan! I look forward to seeing you around!

 

[Alicia666]

Hail Wotan! Isn't it such a comfort that He lead us back? I'm touched by your story and glad that I'm not the only one who experienced the same period of delusion. When I made that decision in my jail cell to forever leave the abrahamic mind virus, I felt incredibly empowered and knew that I made the right decision.

I'm excited to see how I grow in this new chapter of my life. We will have plenty of time to regrow what we lost. I may be back at somewhat of a beginner level, but already everything is coming back far more quickly and right this time since my mind is completely sober and not polluted by intoxicants. The Gods have shared with me a few helpful tips in my meditations and advice for specific life situations.

Hail Satan! I look forward to seeing you around!

I was also touched by your story it is similar to mi

Hail Wotan! Isn't it such a comfort that He lead us back? I'm touched by your story and glad that I'm not the only one who experienced the same period of delusion. When I made that decision in my jail cell to forever leave the abrahamic mind virus, I felt incredibly empowered and knew that I made the right decision.

I'm excited to see how I grow in this new chapter of my life. We will have plenty of time to regrow what we lost. I may be back at somewhat of a beginner level, but already everything is coming back far more quickly and right this time since my mind is completely sober and not polluted by intoxicants. The Gods have shared with me a few helpful tips in my meditations and advice for specific life situations.

Hail Satan! I look forward to seeing you around!

hail Father Satan, yes it is a comfort that he lead us back home, I was touched by your story too because it was similar to mine, exactly leaving the Abrahamic virus was the best thing we could do for ourselves, and as you can see our life is getting better for us, my life is improving more now than it has in years in so many ways too long to list here, but I’m so grateful and thankful for Father Satan for helping us come back to him.

i have learnt way more this time around when it comes to Meditations, RTR’s Rituals than I did when I first came years ago, I believe we must have not been ready then, but now we have the opportunity to move forward full steam ahead and continue on this spiritual path and to better ourselves and help the Gods, for a better future for us all.

you are doing so well this time around like me we are moving far more quickly than we did the first time
I’m happy to hear you have rid yourself of the intoxicants and now you are sober, and you have the Gods helping you which is wonderful! And yeah like wise see you around

Hail Satanas