Mental conflict, I feel something is wrong.

[AmiRam]

First of all, im sorry for my bad english.

Hi, my name is Amir. I am almost 18 years old and have been a Satanist for several years. The essence of the matter is that I had a difficult past and childhood, I was rejected by my family, I never experienced the love and affection of my family, and from childhood I was looking for freedom from my family and even committed suicide.
Until this age, I always talked with the voices in my head and imagined things that I never had.
It's been a while since I got rid of depression and I don't have the same feelings anymore. As if they also left me alone.
I've been thinking about going back to old feelings for a while now because they've been my refuge over the years.
Anger, hate, voices in my head, I know it may be strange and bad for me, but I miss them.
Now I'm just afraid that if I go back to these feelings it will be bad and harmful for the development of my soul and chakras.

I want to live forever and serve Satan. This was a promise I made to Satan years ago because Satan was the only one who embraced me when I was rejected from everywhere.
I will be happy to use your experience and help me. I couldn't say many things and explained briefly.
In the end, I want to know whether, despite these feelings and personality, I can develop my soul and chakras without any problems?
And if these feelings are bad and harmful for me, what should I do to never return to them and get rid of them forever?

 

[Power of Justice [JG]]

You can absolutely advance! If your family doesn't appreciate you that's their loss. Do not dwell on them and find someone who appreciates you. If you seek to deepen your understanding of love find someone to love, an animal to take care of, or even a purpose in life or a goal that you dedicate yourself to completely.

You can do freeing workings for trauma or do deep introspection and reflect on your life experiences ( see the links in my signature )

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

It's been a while since I got rid of depression and I don't have the same feelings anymore. As if they also left me alone.
I've been thinking about going back to old feelings for a while now because they've been my refuge over the years.
Anger, hate, voices in my head, I know it may be strange and bad for me, but I miss them.
Now I'm just afraid that if I go back to these feelings it will be bad and harmful for the development of my soul and chakras.

In the end, I want to know whether, despite these feelings and personality, I can develop my soul and chakras without any problems?
And if these feelings are bad and harmful for me, what should I do to never return to them and get rid of them forever?

The reason you miss these behaviors and feelings is because you were likely using them as a coping mechanism to deal with your situation with your family and other trauma. As you derived comfort from them, you continue to look towards them for comfort even now, even if they are not necessary anymore.

What this represents is negative karma pertaining to your family and other elements of your social behavior. The original problem is the trauma you experienced, and these behaviors are an extension and symptom of that. People deal with trauma differently, but this is how your soul changed as a result of what it experienced.

That does not mean that there was nothing positive from this experience, and perhaps it made you able to handle depression and negative emotions more easily, as you were forced to do this to survive. However, you will want to prune any behaviors here which may be holding you back from further success and happiness.

In this way, you would keep your positive karma (the ability to handle emotional stress), but remove the negative karma (feeling excessive or inappropriate anger or other self-destructive thoughts). Dealing with the source of pain is part of your healing path, as well.

-------------------------

You are asking if these feelings are harmful for you, and the answer is that they could be, but not in any significant way that should make you feel unable to meditate or advance. In reality, everyone has negative behaviors, as shown on their astrology chart.

As the soul grows stronger, we don't want to give power to negative behaviors and actions. A powerful soul can create powerful results, whether good or bad. We don't want our negative karma to ruin us in some way.

Therefore, we need to heal these major problems in our soul. To do this, we apply energies that either build positive karma or remove negative karma. In this case, you would use energies like Berkano and Wunjo to restore and build your ability to give and receive familial love, emotional health, and happiness.

Energies like Munka or Ansuz are good for removing trauma, or negative karma, but be mindful that this can be stressful when it happens. Using any energy towards solving an issue can cause certain stressful events, but the constructive workings are a little easier to handle, as you can experience more of the positive results, rather than just the removal of negative karma.

So for now, continue with your advancement as normal. Make sure to spend lots of time cleaning and protecting yourself, and learning the fundamentals of our path, as shown in the 40 day guide: https://satanslibrary.org/hp_hooded_cobra_40_day_meditation_program.pdf

Do not fear your emotions, but also plan to eventually deal with this, which can take multiple workings of applying these healing energies, over the course of many days or months to totally solve the problem.

This would be an ongoing problem that you would work on in a slow and steady manner. Always consult with the Gods about these matters for guidance, at multiple points during your application of healing your soul. Make sure to clean your upper chakras very well, as these are related to your emotions and feelings of love.

 

[Kitsunebi]

First of all, im sorry for my bad english.

Hi, my name is Amir. I am almost 18 years old and have been a Satanist for several years. The essence of the matter is that I had a difficult past and childhood, I was rejected by my family, I never experienced the love and affection of my family, and from childhood I was looking for freedom from my family and even committed suicide.
Until this age, I always talked with the voices in my head and imagined things that I never had.
It's been a while since I got rid of depression and I don't have the same feelings anymore. As if they also left me alone.
I've been thinking about going back to old feelings for a while now because they've been my refuge over the years.
Anger, hate, voices in my head, I know it may be strange and bad for me, but I miss them.
Now I'm just afraid that if I go back to these feelings it will be bad and harmful for the development of my soul and chakras.

I want to live forever and serve Satan. This was a promise I made to Satan years ago because Satan was the only one who embraced me when I was rejected from everywhere.
I will be happy to use your experience and help me. I couldn't say many things and explained briefly.
In the end, I want to know whether, despite these feelings and personality, I can develop my soul and chakras without any problems?
And if these feelings are bad and harmful for me, what should I do to never return to them and get rid of them forever?

Good day Amir,

I happen to suffer from this too, and just like all my comments, there has always been hints of rage and hatred for people who have crossed me throughout my life. I somehow rebound to these thoughts because I believe I'd be stronger once I finally deliver the ends to their lives. Have you ever tried withstanding around fifteen years of merciless bullying and abuse at home throughout your life? Well now we're even, and so in my first actions, I acted out too extremely in the past which would have got me in a mental ward or prison. I hate what human society has become because of the enemy's poison, even now that I'm 23 and working with an arts museum company, I'm still angry even though I've learned to be more careful.

It's pretty hard for me to even express this because society will always butcher whatever they can't relate to at all. But not this Sprirtual Satanic society here, so much for what our enemies say to us.

Keep in mind that healing takes time, this is just like having Jekyll and Hyde syndrome, your weaknesses are trying to stay with you and try to dupe you into stopping by making you need them. This is how I did it with myself with a few other weaknesses. I'm still in the phase of healing until I can get back at those fuckers in a stable position, I believe for myself in a smart way to get back at everyone who has put me through all the bullshit in my life without any unnecessary trouble.

I'm a person who keeps his word, if those fuckers will someday get it all back then they will get it all back and there will be no stopping me. If the drug addicts and rapists need to go then they need to go.

Oh, and you know that negative emotion can be vented out in spiritual warfare right? Channel all your hate and rage while doing the RTRs daily until you don't feel mad anymore but a sense of peace. Funny that when I turn to doing RTRs, I hear the enemy fucking beg and turn to kind voices, look how pathetic these little bitches become when it's their turn to suffer. :lol:

josrituals.org

 

[Kitsunebi]

First of all, im sorry for my bad english.

Hi, my name is Amir. I am almost 18 years old and have been a Satanist for several years. The essence of the matter is that I had a difficult past and childhood, I was rejected by my family, I never experienced the love and affection of my family, and from childhood I was looking for freedom from my family and even committed suicide.
Until this age, I always talked with the voices in my head and imagined things that I never had.
It's been a while since I got rid of depression and I don't have the same feelings anymore. As if they also left me alone.
I've been thinking about going back to old feelings for a while now because they've been my refuge over the years.
Anger, hate, voices in my head, I know it may be strange and bad for me, but I miss them.
Now I'm just afraid that if I go back to these feelings it will be bad and harmful for the development of my soul and chakras.

I want to live forever and serve Satan. This was a promise I made to Satan years ago because Satan was the only one who embraced me when I was rejected from everywhere.
I will be happy to use your experience and help me. I couldn't say many things and explained briefly.
In the end, I want to know whether, despite these feelings and personality, I can develop my soul and chakras without any problems?
And if these feelings are bad and harmful for me, what should I do to never return to them and get rid of them forever?

And another thing, knowing that families could have been much better if there were no suicidal spiritual advices of abrahamism being the culture of mankind throughout our history, families can still have a chance like with some of us here who are legit moms and dads.

Anyone with correct empathy, trustworthiness, and sanity would always be saying I hope you get better. I say the same thing too. Satanic blessings to you and I hope you fully recover from a family that fucked you over(Yes, fuck your family but NOT in some insulting way, but for what they did to you).

 

[AmiRam]

" post_id=454313 time=1689714280 user_id=21286]

It's been a while since I got rid of depression and I don't have the same feelings anymore. As if they also left me alone.
I've been thinking about going back to old feelings for a while now because they've been my refuge over the years.
Anger, hate, voices in my head, I know it may be strange and bad for me, but I miss them.
Now I'm just afraid that if I go back to these feelings it will be bad and harmful for the development of my soul and chakras.

In the end, I want to know whether, despite these feelings and personality, I can develop my soul and chakras without any problems?
And if these feelings are bad and harmful for me, what should I do to never return to them and get rid of them forever?

The reason you miss these behaviors and feelings is because you were likely using them as a coping mechanism to deal with your situation with your family and other trauma. As you derived comfort from them, you continue to look towards them for comfort even now, even if they are not necessary anymore.

What this represents is negative karma pertaining to your family and other elements of your social behavior. The original problem is the trauma you experienced, and these behaviors are an extension and symptom of that. People deal with trauma differently, but this is how your soul changed as a result of what it experienced.

That does not mean that there was nothing positive from this experience, and perhaps it made you able to handle depression and negative emotions more easily, as you were forced to do this to survive. However, you will want to prune any behaviors here which may be holding you back from further success and happiness.

In this way, you would keep your positive karma (the ability to handle emotional stress), but remove the negative karma (feeling excessive or inappropriate anger or other self-destructive thoughts). Dealing with the source of pain is part of your healing path, as well.

-------------------------

You are asking if these feelings are harmful for you, and the answer is that they could be, but not in any significant way that should make you feel unable to meditate or advance. In reality, everyone has negative behaviors, as shown on their astrology chart.

As the soul grows stronger, we don't want to give power to negative behaviors and actions. A powerful soul can create powerful results, whether good or bad. We don't want our negative karma to ruin us in some way.

Therefore, we need to heal these major problems in our soul. To do this, we apply energies that either build positive karma or remove negative karma. In this case, you would use energies like Berkano and Wunjo to restore and build your ability to give and receive familial love, emotional health, and happiness.

Energies like Munka or Ansuz are good for removing trauma, or negative karma, but be mindful that this can be stressful when it happens. Using any energy towards solving an issue can cause certain stressful events, but the constructive workings are a little easier to handle, as you can experience more of the positive results, rather than just the removal of negative karma.

So for now, continue with your advancement as normal. Make sure to spend lots of time cleaning and protecting yourself, and learning the fundamentals of our path, as shown in the 40 day guide: https://satanslibrary.org/hp_hooded_cobra_40_day_meditation_program.pdf

Do not fear your emotions, but also plan to eventually deal with this, which can take multiple workings of applying these healing energies, over the course of many days or months to totally solve the problem.

This would be an ongoing problem that you would work on in a slow and steady manner. Always consult with the Gods about these matters for guidance, at multiple points during your application of healing your soul. Make sure to clean your upper chakras very well, as these are related to your emotions and feelings of love.

Hello. Thank you for your guidance and help Yes, I have been meditating daily and frequently for some time and I care a lot about my aura and spend a lot of time cleaning and purifying my aura and chakras! I feel better now ! Thanks to Lord Satan and all of you my brothers on this precious path Yes, I want to use the runes. And I do the RTR spiritual warfare ceremony every day and send my anger towards the enemy so that they are destroyed. Thank you very much brother Hail Satan.

 

[AmiRam]

First of all, im sorry for my bad english.

Hi, my name is Amir. I am almost 18 years old and have been a Satanist for several years. The essence of the matter is that I had a difficult past and childhood, I was rejected by my family, I never experienced the love and affection of my family, and from childhood I was looking for freedom from my family and even committed suicide.
Until this age, I always talked with the voices in my head and imagined things that I never had.
It's been a while since I got rid of depression and I don't have the same feelings anymore. As if they also left me alone.
I've been thinking about going back to old feelings for a while now because they've been my refuge over the years.
Anger, hate, voices in my head, I know it may be strange and bad for me, but I miss them.
Now I'm just afraid that if I go back to these feelings it will be bad and harmful for the development of my soul and chakras.

I want to live forever and serve Satan. This was a promise I made to Satan years ago because Satan was the only one who embraced me when I was rejected from everywhere.
I will be happy to use your experience and help me. I couldn't say many things and explained briefly.
In the end, I want to know whether, despite these feelings and personality, I can develop my soul and chakras without any problems?
And if these feelings are bad and harmful for me, what should I do to never return to them and get rid of them forever?

Good day Amir,

I happen to suffer from this too, and just like all my comments, there has always been hints of rage and hatred for people who have crossed me throughout my life. I somehow rebound to these thoughts because I believe I'd be stronger once I finally deliver the ends to their lives. Have you ever tried withstanding around fifteen years of merciless bullying and abuse at home throughout your life? Well now we're even, and so in my first actions, I acted out too extremely in the past which would have got me in a mental ward or prison. I hate what human society has become because of the enemy's poison, even now that I'm 23 and working with an arts museum company, I'm still angry even though I've learned to be more careful.

It's pretty hard for me to even express this because society will always butcher whatever they can't relate to at all. But not this Sprirtual Satanic society here, so much for what our enemies say to us.

Keep in mind that healing takes time, this is just like having Jekyll and Hyde syndrome, your weaknesses are trying to stay with you and try to dupe you into stopping by making you need them. This is how I did it with myself with a few other weaknesses. I'm still in the phase of healing until I can get back at those fuckers in a stable position, I believe for myself in a smart way to get back at everyone who has put me through all the bullshit in my life without any unnecessary trouble.

I'm a person who keeps his word, if those fuckers will someday get it all back then they will get it all back and there will be no stopping me. If the drug addicts and rapists need to go then they need to go.

Oh, and you know that negative emotion can be vented out in spiritual warfare right? Channel all your hate and rage while doing the RTRs daily until you don't feel mad anymore but a sense of peace. Funny that when I turn to doing RTRs, I hear the enemy fucking beg and turn to kind voices, look how pathetic these little bitches become when it's their turn to suffer. :lol:

josrituals.org

Hello my friend . Oh exactly, I understand you very much We are similar! Yes, yes. I also do the RTR spiritual warfare ritual. And I hear my enemies telling me in fear and begging you to stop, but I will send all my anger and hatred towards them to destroy them forever