I know I'm late to the party with this post, but I thought it pertinent with the topic of this post. I hope this reaches at least a few people that have either gone through this and/or are going through this "phase". I'm a lurker and first time poster so bear with me...
My life with SS began in 2007 (15yo). I was lost, just went through a parental divorce, my mom being a born again christian that although never exactly forcing her faith was of course filled with typical christian baggage. I don't even know what exactly led to it but I found the JoS website and I was home. What I saw resonated with my soul. I had of course only known about LaVeyan satanism and something about it was a rip-off - first of all having read Might is Right first I saw that his opening was copied nearly word-for-word and was basically a pass for degeneracy... so that was disheartening. But again, finding that website - this community - was destined. I delved headlong into the meditations and life improvement - the Gods and Satan knew I needed it during that chaotic time of my life. My dearest friend was interested and read the material and devoted himself within that same year he studied. Having a fellow SS was amazing. We studied. We talked. We acted. Then, to summarize, we moved apart due to issues with my abusive father and from there things to descend into chaos. My father manipulated with drugs (opiates and weed) to be beholden to him. I turned to Asatru after that time, abandoning SS altogether. I lost interest in meditation and energy work, eventually losing all spiritual connection altogether. Dark time (but certainly necessary). Then by a weird twist of things I ended up in a Kindred (not focused on commercialized Asatru) which rekindled a spirit in me again. Through the Gothi of this Kindred I came into contact with, and studied/worked with Armanism heavily. I am part of an Armanen fraternity and am working with the clergy of the kindred. Not much is known about Armanism at large (and most of which is either naive or down right propaganda.) long story short it is so similar to SS that it led me back. I guess the point of this rant is that even when you feel the most distant from Satan - from the Gods - that it is a lesson. A test. And a learning experience if put to good use. In a lot of ways what I have learned without SS I don't think I would have learned with SS, to make sense of a complicated feeling. "Mistakes" should be shared so that we may all learn to apply knowledge to our own struggles. In that past few weeks SS has reappeared in my life, like I was on a long journey but have finally come back home.
Hail Father Satan